Sol 410
AMICITAS FLIGHT THREE – MISSION DAY 417
ARES III SOL 410
[12:33] JPL: Welcome back, Mark. I’ve just finished reading your abstract of the results of what I suppose we’ll call Sirius 7A. I have a question, though: why does it end with seventy-two iterations of, “I will not fail to properly power down the ship when not in use”?
[12:44] HERMES: Seconded. It’s annoying when you spam the Pathfinder chat, Watney. What’s your excuse?
[13:02] WATNEY: Sorry. That was Fireball. When we found out that all the remaining pony ship systems had been running for two days straight, plus at least one bad ground or short circuit bleeding power into the hull and out through the rover wheels, Starlight Glimmer suggested making Fireball write sentences as a reminder. We should have told him to use a word processor instead of the chat.
However, even considering that the hydraulic system the alien ship uses for steering and the pony radio draws a lot of power, we’ve still got a lot of battery drain unaccounted for. So Dragonfly and I will spend the next few afternoons going through the ship’s wiring chart, finding every cut wire, and making certain it’s capped off properly. Then we’ll go through the harness and make sure no wires have chafed through their insulation. I figure it’ll be a week before we can attempt Sirius 7B.
We have two other solutions to reduce power. For the next trip we’ll disengage the wheel clutches on the rear wheels of Rover 2, reducing the Whinnybago to six powered wheels. It’s possible that the cost of more power to the remaining wheels during acceleration will be offset by the savings at cruising speed. Also, we’ll pre-bake our potatoes before departure. The spuds would ride in saddlebags on Rover 2 anyway, and so long as we don’t break the skins they should be all right when re-heated. That’ll save three-quarters of the cooking time and reduce the microwave’s power draw proportionately. We could just yank the microwave entirely, but it’s hard enough to eat plain baked potatoes week in and week out. Cold baked potatoes would be a morale hit I’d rather not take.
[13:29] JPL: Both good ideas. I’ll get the engineers to testing the six-wheel configuration power levels at once. Also, you won’t need to worry about that as much. We’ve been tracking your use of food packs since your last inventory based on your logs and chat, and if our numbers are correct, you’re good to resume eating food packs on 2/3 ration on Sol 428.
By the way, you’ll be glad to know that the cloud cover is beginning to break up at the equator. Meteorology forecasts clear skies at the Hab four days from now, with temperatures returning to more or less Martian normal shortly afterwards. Enjoy your above-freezing afternoons, Mark, because Mars summer is coming to an end.
[13:53] WATNEY: Oh no! How will I show off my sexy bod to all the little green beach bunnies?
Seriously, though, I’ll be glad to get non-spud material in my diet again, but I’m not going to hog the good stuff while the others continue on nothing but hay. I plan to share out parts of my food packs and make up the difference by continuing on at least some potatoes. Otherwise I’d be too guilty to eat.
[13:58] WATNEY: Starlight Glimmer here. Did you say seventy-two iterations?
[14:16] JPL: Just be grateful there’s no department stores having Back to School sales in Acidalia Planitia. If you feel you need to keep eating potatoes, Mark, go ahead.
[14:21] JPL: Yes, that’s right. I counted them myself. I thought there might be some significance. Why?
[14:54] WATNEY: I will not fail to properly power down the ship when not in use.
[14:55] WATNEY: I will not fail to properly power down the ship when not in use.
[14:57] WATNEY: I will not fail to properly power down the ship when not in use.
[14:58] WATNEY: I will not fail to properly power down the ship when not in use.
[14:59] WATNEY: I will not fail to properly power down the ship when not in use.
[15:00] WATNEY: I will not fail to properly power down the ship when not in use.
[15:01] WATNEY: I will not fail to properly power down the ship when not in use.
[15:03] WATNEY: I will not fail to properly power down the ship when not in use.
[15:04] WATNEY: I will not fail to properly power down the ship when not in use.
[15:05] WATNEY: I will not fail to properly power down the ship when not in use.
[15:07] WATNEY: I will not fail to properly power down the ship when not in use.
[15:08] WATNEY: I will not fail to properly power down the ship when not in use.
[15:09] WATNEY: I will not fail to properly power down the ship when not in use.
[15:10] WATNEY: I will not fail to properly power down the ship when not in use.
[15:10] HERMES: Not again…
[15:11] WATNEY: I will not fail to properly power down the ship when not in use.
[15:12] HERMES: GOD DAMN IT WATNEY
[15:13] WATNEY: I will not fail to properly power down the ship when not in use.
[15:14] WATNEY: I will not fail to properly power down the ship when not in use.
[15:15] WATNEY: I will not fail to properly power down the ship when not in use.
[15:16] JPL: Oh no
[15:16] HERMES: MARK SERIOUSLY CUT IT OUT
[15:17] WATNEY: I will not fail to properly power down the ship when not in use.
[15:17] JPL: MARK
[15:18] WATNEY: I will not fail to properly power down the ship when not in use.
[15:20] WATNEY: I will not fail to properly power down the ship when not in use.
[15:21] WATNEY: I will not fail to properly power down the ship when not in use.
[15:22] WATNEY: I will not fail to properly power down the ship when not in use.
[15:23] WATNEY: I will not fail to properly power down the ship when not in use.
[15:24] WATNEY: I will not fail to properly power down the ship when not in use.
[15:26] WATNEY: I will not fail to properly power down the ship when not in use.
[15:27] WATNEY: I will not fail to properly power down the ship when not in use.
[16:00] HERMES: Is that it? Is it over?
[16:10] JPL: Don't know. Seventy-two plus twenty-seven is only ninety-nine.
[16:21] HERMES: God. Seriously, Mark, Starlight, Cherry, whoever, next time make him use the whiteboards. Bart Simpson didn’t get to type out his sentences.
[16:37] WATNEY: I will not fail to properly power down the ship when not in use.
[16:38] WATNEY: Cant read clawriting in Pony. Worse in English. Whos Bart Simpson?
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...I get the feeling the pony and Changeling space programs, and the mathematics of both, use a different numerical base, like base 4, instead of base 10 humans use. That's why they stopped at 72, they thought it was 100 in base 4. Please note, I am not a mathematician, so I don't know if that is even close to correct.
i.imgur.com/fPjPWhq.png
I'm not the only one who saw this and immediately thought of MLP In a Nutshell, right?
9102645 Nope. Fireball just thought nobody would bother to count.
9102645
100 in base 4 would be 16. Not even close. The closest you could get with that kind of logic is base 8, but that would still only get you up to 64. Maybe Fireball just lost count.
Meanwhile, on Earth, the sentence "I will not fail to properly power down the ship when not in use" has likely become a widely used copypasta, and is flooding /b/ so thoroughly that any posts pertaining to Watney and Co. will be restricted to a quarantine board... because apparently they need an equivalent to /mlp/ in this universe.
Just one question: why are so many of the messages from Hermes time stamped for 15:10? It's actually quite confusing, especially when you consider that some of those messages are only just posting somewhere between 15:16 and 15:17...
Reducing the number of driven wheels is not going to save them energy. They are driving on basically sand, so that's just gonna make the powered wheels dig in more. Meaning the trailer is more likely to get stuck in the tracks left by the leading rover, seriously hampering cornering ability and probably efficiency.
Beyond that, this would greatly increase wear on the powered wheels thread. Wouldn't drive on mars on slicks, or punctured wheels.
Pushing the bago does not sound like the worst idea either. That hydraulic steering mechanism sounds like its up for the task, and algorithms can do the pushing just fine. Humans are bad at that though. (Try flying a quadcopter with 4 throttles, 1 for each motor, 2 of them reversed. Computers do that with relative ease.)
Might want to lead with the rovers in the more hostile sections, but for flat areas, the manpower saved can be a morale booster.
I was so paranoid once that going out for teh day, I shut the whole house down. Electric, gas supply, the lot. Fortunately realised what Id done as I was getting in the car.
We set off half an hour later after Id restarted the house and had someone else check as well.
Would really be screwed up if Fireball figured out the technique my wife uses when she's pissed and texting me...type, copy, paste, paste, paste, paste, paste, paste, paste, paste, paste, paste, paste, paste, paste, paste, paste, paste, paste, copy, text, paste, text—repeat ad nauseam.
images.zaazu.com/img/Gene-Simmons-rockstar-kiss-gene-simmons-smiley-emoticon-000231-medium.gif
If Fireball had to dictate his punishment instead of typing it:
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/450571904462618624/477644725554249748/Fireball_Sol_410.mp3
9102665
Base 8 might make sense, if dragons only have four fingers on each hand. But I don't want to ponder that, since it's just easier if every creature uses base 10. I think Iron Will has ten fingers, right? If he doesn't, my headcanon says he does and it's just cartoon reasons that make him appear to have eight.
9102647
GLORIOUS!
9102748
Even if he has five fingers, he could still count in base 12. Tolkien elves do! Also Sumerians.
(count on your knuckles with your thumb instead of counting your fingers)
But we've already established the worlds have a really weird parallel entanglement property for cultural coincidence, so I wouldn't worry about it.
9102647
Well done, sir. Well done.
9102639
You don't change inertia with force. Regardless of how much force you apply, inertia will remain identical. To change on object’s inertia, you must change its mass.
9102669
i would like to see that happening on earth
I still think they should switch to hot water feom the RTG for cooking and re-heating to save power.
[15:10] HERMES: GOD DAMN IT WATNEY
That exchange felt so much like social media comments. Just one guy spamming and everyone else yelling at them. Ahh, nostalgia...
9102647
Excellent job, mate.
9102796
Love that little addition of a picture of Homer in a space suit.
9102971
Agreed.
9102647
You win. Best comment on a story I've ever seen.
9102831
overcome and change are not synonyms.
9102669
Nah, its almost certainly that if MLP hadn't gotten big, that Steven Universe would have gotten the hate that MLP did. Mostly female cast and heros, good animation and a large adult audience for a kids show. It may not have risen as big as MLP, but its quite likely that if MLP didn't exist that it would have reached those hights.
In our timeline, Steve gets the protection of coming second.
However, 4chan's /sci/ board probably has a love-hate relationship with the Ponies. Love because, "OMG confirmed Aliens, and meme and science and space," Hate because, "God they are far too cute, and please can someone make /x/ shut up about the fact they are right about aliens? And Myths for that matter."
And /b/.....oh /b/'s reaction to Spitfire will mean every time Mars turns up on /b/ instead of /sci/ or /x/ boards will mean Spitfire meme spam OR photobombing Dragonfly appearing in photos of NASA staff, Putin, and the current president of the US.
Actually I really want to see stealthy Dragonfly Photobomb memes. Stupid living in the wrong timeline.
Finally, at some point, reddit will have had a "Upvote this picture of Spitfire so whenever anyone searchs 'ponies' this is the top result." Or something similar.
Edit: And now we will have Fireball telling people to eat his shorts. You are right on that score, this will become a meme.
9102710
Was going to say, electric cars use a specific amount of power to move an object at a certain speed and wind, regardless of how many drive wheels or how overpowered an electric motor are used. Watney and Co can't afford to play Spintires on Mars either. Use all the drive wheels.
9102971
I can't take the credit for Homer in the spacesuit. It was already in the image employed by the "Bart Simpson Chalkboard Generator" I googled up and used. Though it may have influenced my decision to use that particular one.
9103166
It could be that the individual motors are more efficient at certain power outputs/load levels and less efficient at others
I will not fail to properly power down the ship when not in use.
I will not fail to properly power the cave when not in use.
--- Rainbow Gem AI
I will not fail to properly power down the ship when not in use.
9102901
That's... not a bad idea.
Dangerous, off course, but that bridge got crossed WAY back.
9102792
Well, continuing this thread of numerical logic...
The number 100 in duodecimal (base 12) is 144 in decimal (base 10).
Honestly, I think base 12 is way superior to base 10 for everyday use.
If it were trivial for our international community to change systems, I'd fight hard for it.
Snrk. Though, seriously, why not use one of the laptops instead?
9106988 The lappies all have the chat program installed.
I will not fail to properly power down the ship when not in use.
I will not fail to properly power down the ship when not in use.
I will not fail to properly power down the ship when not in use.
I will not fail to properly power down the ship when not in use.
I will not fail to properly power down the ship when not in use.
9102660
what the hay
oh, this made me think of a silly story called "Pinkie VS. the Souffle". Pinkie keeps trying to make a souffle, but ponies keep making noises. at one point she goes to Applejack's house, Applejack tells her Applebloom should be quiet because she's busy writing "i will not-" lines AGAIN...
but Applebloom finishes faster than expected because "she's had so much practice" and finds those Cymbals that Pinkie lost during the "swarm of the century" episode...
she also tried setting up a portable stove in Twilight's library, but a rude patron SLAMMED a book down...
Omg... Space spam is PRICELESS xD
Poor Pathfinder Chat
9102645
No, 34 = 81, 43 = 64. 53 = 125. 72 is just a screw up.
The should watch the Simsons for the intro Specials alone!