Episode 38: Fair Trade
WARGAMES’ Comment
As you cuddle with the two headed dog, you suddenly hear a sniff from your back.
Looking behind you, you see Mangle with her head halfway out of your inventory, and projecting her eyes to look misty.
“Oh Mangle, don’t cry,” you say as you let go of the dog and turn to her.
“How the heck can robots cry?” Greta wonders aloud, as Mangle crosses her arms and looks away from you.
“It’s not what it looks like. You know I like big cute things. You’re still my number one pet,” you try to reassure the jealous plush bot.
“Skkrooonnkk,” she warbles, putting her paws over her eyes before darting back into the inventory.
“Mangle, come on, don’t be like that,” you plead, feeling guilty, but she refuses to come back out, and you can hear mechanical crying coming from inside the bag.
“Oh geeze,” you say rubbing the back of your neck.
“Don’t worry about it kiddo, if she’s like most females, you just give her some space, buy her a gift and keep admitting it’s your fault, and she’ll warm back up to you,” Grandbuggy says patting your shoulder.
“Hey, I take offense to that,” the owner of the othros says.
“I’m sorry ma’am, that was crass of me,” Grandbuggy says taking off his hat and pulling a rose out of it. “Here, have this flower, and I’ll get out of your pretty little mane.” He then starts walking off.
“Oh, well thank you sir,” the mare says flustered. “I appreciate that you accept your wrongs and-Hey Wait A Minute!”
You hear Grandbuggy snicker a few stalls down as the mare realizes she’s proven his point.
“Where did he even get that flower?” Greta asks Ahuizotl.
“Beats me chica,” he shrugs. “I never question what Quick keeps in that hat of his.” And with that, both of them follow after your Grandbug as you look back at the ticked off mare.
“Yeeeaaahhh, looks like I’m not going to be able to buy him today,” you admit as you look back to the big drooling beast. “Sorry buddy, you both be good boys though.” And with one final pat to both heads you rush after your group.
“…It’s a bit of a pocket dimension, just like Shade’s bag,” you catch up and hear Grandbuggy say. “I keep a few essentials in there.”
“And you think Roses are essential?” Greta asks with a raised brow.
“Lady, I piss off a lot of women. It’s always good to be prepared,” he says nonchalantly.
“It’s true,” you agree.
“Ah, didn’t get the dog then?” Ahuizotl asks.
“No,” you say sadly. “I don’t want to make Mangle any more sad…plus we’d probably have to feed him and such if I did buy him.”
“Exactly kiddo, that evil abomination of yours is the best kind of pet because they don’t eat and there’s no clean up,” Grandbuggy nods.
“I’ll remind you again, that thing tried to eat me like a year ago,” Greta says warily.
You do hear a chuckle from your bag, but then the overdramatic sniffling returns.
“I’m sure she’s sorry about that,” you lie. “But yeah, what do I get a robot fox to make it feel better?”
“My kitties prefer little toys and that they can sink their teeth into,” Ahuizotl suggests.
“Toys huh?” you ponder, and just as you do…
Zapper frost’s Comment
You see a sign above a stall that reads Toys Were Us, and behind the stand is a tired looking giraffe.
“…Why does that make me feel sad?” you wonder aloud. Shaking off the mysterious bit of depression, you walk up to the counter, and see some pretty strange items. There’s a statue of a chicken on top of a xylophone, a rubber quesadilla with a miniature model of Manehattan on it, a misshapen Stretch Hoofstrong, and a can of something called Gak.
“Hmmm…How much for the chew toy?” you ask the long necked equine.
“What do you got?” he asks hollowly.
“Uhhhh, money?” you say taking out a few bits to which he just raises an eyebrow.
“Shade honey, this place doesn’t really deal in money. You trade goods for other goods here,” Grandbuggy explains.
“Really?” you say in surprise before your eyes widen. “Oooohhh, that’s why Mangle’s so upset, she thought I was going to trade her for the dog.”
“That, and she’s a bit of a drama queen,” Grandbuggy quips before looking to the giraffe. “How about a nice cigar for that squeaky toy sir? You look like you could use a good smoke.”
“That I could,” he nods as he hands you the quesadilla and Grandbuggy gives him one of his cigars and even lights it up.
“Ahh, thanks for that,” the giraffe says with a tiny smile. “It’s been hard with the bankruptcy. My sister even started wandering around to zoos and nature preserves pretending to just be an animal so she can get free rent and food.”
“Yeah, the economy sucks and all that,” Grandbuggy says sympathetically. “You take care now sir.”
“You as well, and enjoy the toy little filly, you’re probably one of the last Toys Were Us kids…”
Again, you feel extremely sad for some reason, but you shrug it off and say, “Thank you,” before opening up your inventory.
“Mangle, I’m never going to replace you. I’m sorry if you thought that, but I hope this helps you forgive me.”
You then drop the squeaky toy in.
Rubber Quesadilla Added to Inventory
After a few moments of silence, you hear happy gnawing and chewing sounds along with soft squeaks from the toy which makes you smile.
“See, she’ll come around,” Grandbuggy smirks as you all start walking into the interior of the market.
“I honestly didn’t know giraffes could talk,” Greta says impressed.
“Well of course they can, the country they and Zebras come from is called Giraffrica after all,” Ahuizotl says like it’s obvious.
“Yeah, yeah, I guess, but still, just not something you expect to see.”
Puzzling Frost’s Comment
She’s right, but that sad giraffe isn’t the only one who sticks out. Creatures from all walks of life, not just ponies are walking around. There’s griffons, crystal ponies, some zebra, a walking fish lizard thing
“...Ok.”
And many more, and that’s not counting the booths and stalls vendors and their wares. Some are filled with exotic looking plants, others had a small library's worth of books, some selling tools, gems, and....
"FOOOD!!!!" You shout at the top of your lungs upon seeing the food court area. You are about to run off when you feel a large paw lift you up.
"Now now chica. We can eat later, we must focus on the goal," Ahuizotal says placing you next to Greta.
"Yeah kid. Don't worry the food's not going anywhere," Greta says ruffling your mane.
"B-but the food…" You say wistfully looking back at the court which has funnel cakes, carrot dogs, caramel corn, cotton candy, popcorn, pretzels and all sorts of other amazing delights.
"Yeah we'll get some chow before we leave, but there’s a lot of booths to look through. Let's just find a petrified dragon egg before that money grumbing creepasta moron finds us," Grandbuggy says looking around worriedly.
"Just pay him! Stop being so stubborn!" Ahuizotal admonishes for the 20th time.
"NEVER!!!" Grandbuggy exclaims.
“Ugh, alright fine,” you huff as you turn away from the glorious sustenance. “But if I see anything else I want, I’m going to get it, faceless creeper or not.”
Down with Chrysalis’s Comment
And with that you move on back to the trading areas. After passing a few, Greta gets sparkles in her eyes.
“Ooh, custom jackets!” she squees before running up to a booth that has mannequins with different colored coats on them.
“But it’s not cold out,” you point out as you walk up next to her admiring an assortment of patches.
“That’s not the point kid, think about if we had a kickflank matching uniform?”
You think about that for a moment and your eyes widen in wonder.
“That would be awesome. It’d be like we were in a gang. The paper did call us the Outcasts.”
“Exactly. Having already been in one, we didn’t have a solitary uniform, but we had a theme. What if we got some long coats and flyer jackets or something,” she says excitedly.
“Yeah! And we could get a team emblem like how the Crimson Knights had. That would definitely show off our coolness. And Sunglasses!” you shout, getting into it.
“Definitely sunglasses,” Greta agrees as she holds up a leather looking black coat.
Off to the side, Grandbuggy and Ahuizotl watch this display with amusement.
“Girls, I don’t think we need a uniform,” Grandbuggy chuckles.
“Well…yeah, but it’d look so cool,” Greta insists.
“She’s right Grandbuggy. Think about if we had a cool emblem for The Outcasts.”
“An emblem that others could identify if and when we get into trouble?” Ahuizotl replies.
At that, both you and Greta wilt your ears and look down.
“Oh…”
“Exactly. When you’re all matched, folks tend to notice you more,” Grandbuggy says.
“Yeah, I guess that’s true,” Greta sighs putting the coat back on the rack.
“Yeah…but it was a cool idea. Maybe we could still get sunglasses and-“
"Step right up, step right up! Feast your eyes on my incredible Laughter in a Jar!" a familiar voice cuts you off from the adjacent booth.
“What the…?”
Peeking your head around the corner you spot a very familiar mare selling…jars?
"Um Pinkie, you can't put laughter in jars...I think?"
That's right, the mare selling these jars of laughter is Pinkie! But for some reason she's painted her coat black and mane purple. Really the only way you could tell it was Pinkie was because of the familiar hairstyle, and the fact that her cutie mark (which is poorly hidden by a taped over picture of a money symbol) is her usual balloons.
Pinkie seems to panic at your tone as she nervously looks around and sweat starts cartoonishly sliding down her forehead.
"Pinkie?! I'm not Pinkie! Nope, no way no how am I a mare named Pinkie! I mean look at me, naming me Pinkie makes no sense! My names...uh Laughing Mary! Yeah that's it! It's not like I'm a clone hiding in plain sight in fear of being vaporized, that would just be ridiculous hehehehe…"
Of course this Pinkie gave away her status as one of the many Mirror Pool versions your daddy helped escape into the world due to her poor lying skills, but you choose to ignore that.
Well she’s not like the sisters in Appleloosa, but least she’s happier sounding than the one back in Canterlot. Gotta say though, these scattered Pinkie's personalities have really developed since the first time I saw them, looks like they took daddy's advice seriously.
And while you bask in the fact that your Daddy's advice has finally helped someling, your Grandbuggy decides to speak up,
"Of course Laughing, but I think my little great-granddaughter is right about that whole laughter thing. It's just not possible."
The Pinkie Clone, now far less nervous, sends your Grandbuggy a sly look as she leans in and places one of the jars on the stand.
"Oh really? Well if you doubt my services, why don't you test out my product?"
Grandbuggy gives his own sly grin as he picks up the jar and begins to open it,
"Well sure thing, but I hate to prove you wrong. Say, how about in exchange you and me fin-"
And that's all he gets to say before he is blasted backwards as an almost supercharged chorus of laugher as well as some strange noises escapes from the unsealed jar.
Thankfully your Grandbuggy was launched into a nearby stand selling super stuffed beanbag chairs, but you weren't really paying too much attention to him as you put your focus at staring at the now slyly smiling Pinkie Clone in awe.
"Sugoi…"
Laughing Mary just shakes her head in amusement before looking to you.
"Now you see, my product is one hundred percent legitimate! Nopony can put laughter in jars better then Pink-I mean Laughing Mary can!"
You quickly grab a Dreamcast and a variety of games for it out of your Inventory and slam them onto the stand as you shout,
“Deal!” Mary says as she slides you eight of the jars and takes the console and games under the counter.
“Wha-I…Shade! You just threw away a Dreamcast!” Greta says sounding offended.
“I didn’t throw it away, I traded it.”
“B-But…it’s a classic console!”
“Meh, it didn’t have too many games on it that I liked. Besides, that controller was terrible,” you say as you shove the bottles into your Inventory where the sounds of chewing and squeaking can still be heard.
8 Jars of Laugher Added to Inventory
And while Greta looks like she’s about to have a conniption fit, Grandbuggy walks back over dizzily, holding his head.
“Are you hurt Fix?” asks Ahuizotl with a smirk.
“Just my pride…” he admits as the Pinkie clone giggles. “We should, uh…we should get going,” Grandbuggy grumbles as he starts walking away.
“Alrighty then. Oh, and Mary?” you say to the clone.
“Yes?”
“Your sister in Canterlot is a bit stressed with Nursing School, you might want to pay her a visit at some point.”
“Katie is stressed? Oh no. Thanks for the heads up, I’ll make sure to make a jar of laughter specifically for her,” she says gratefully.
“No problem,” you wave as you walk after Grandbuggy.
“A bucking Dreamcast for a laughter bomb!” Greta seethes.
“Yes yes, it’s the crime of the century,” Ahuizotl rolls his eyes as he pushes the griffon down the road.
As you and your fellow Outcast continue to explore the Farmer's Market, you spot a certain stand that, well…annoys you greatly.
"Oh you have got to be bucking kidding me! Who would want to buy that?!"
The stand you are referring to is one selling a bunch of strange, Discord looking lamps that seemed to be made from smashed together glass. You can feel your annoyance rise just by seeing them, and you’re half tempted to go over there and destroy the whole stand. But before you can do anything your Grandbuggy puts his hoof on your shoulder to stop you.
"Now Shade, I know that punk Discord messed with you and your pops, but I don't think that gives ya a good reason to smash some poor fella’s property just for selling that oaf’s merchandise. Which is weird enough actually..."
"He is right senorita,” Ahuizotl nods. “It would just be a waste of that stallion’s...unique work for the wrong reasons."
"Alright alright fine,” you huff as you start walking towards the stand. “I’m still gonna give that owner a piece of my mind. Also, when we get into a fight I totally got dibs to use those lamps as ammo!"
"Now come on honey, just because we end up in fights in most of the places we've been to, doesn't mean one will happen here,” Grandbuggy says rolling his eyes.
You just give him a look that just screams, You’re Joking Right? as Greta begins to squawk.
"Okay, now you guys have to tell me the beef CV's got with the Spirit of Chaos! Seriously just how many beings did he piss off before he took out my crew?"
"Oh, more than a few and less than a lot," Grandbuggy explains to her as you walk right up to the stand with Ahuizotl and ring a bell on the table.
“Excuse me, I’d like to make a formal complaint to the owner!” you call back into the tent.
A grey, black maned unicorn stallion with a tornado cutie mark comes out from the back.
“Yes? How can I help you?” he asks.
“I want to know why you’re selling that jerk in lamp form,” you demand pointing to the merchandise.
“Why it’s simple little filly, ever since Discord was reformed, his popularity has gone up, and it’s so marketable. These are my best sellers,” he says with pride.
Kichi’s Comment
“Hmmph. Reformed or not, he was still a big jerk,” you grumble.
“That may be so,” the stallion says sounding sympathetic. “But business is business and he is popular.”
“What are you his biggest fan or something?” you ask.
“Well I wouldn’t say that,” he says scratching the back of his neck. “But his career is fascinating, and I’ve had the fortune to acquire some things made by his magic. Take this for example, a Discordian Balloon.”
He then holds up a red balloon with Discord’s face painted on it.
“Ugh,” you say and roll your eyes.
“Discordian Balloons?” asks Ahuizotl before he puts his paw to his chin. “Now where have I heard that before?”
“Why probably here, they’re quite a hit with children,” the sales pony says with a smile.
“Why? Because they have his face on them?” you say skeptically.
“Well not just that. It’s because when you pop one a unique and special surprise will appear in it’s place utilizing his magic.”
“Really?” you ask curiously as against your better judgment you start reaching for the red floating piece of rubber. Before you can grab it though, Ahuizotl stops your hoof with his tail paw.
“No, don’t touch it,” he warns before glaring at the surprised stallion.
“Huh? Why?” you ask.
“Discordian Balloons are dangerous artifacts, I remember now reading a warning about them in Montezuma’s Crypt,” he warns before glaring at the sales pony again. “And you were giving them to children…”
“Uhhhh, they’re not dangerous, they’re fun little pranks that-“ he starts to explain, but is cut off by Ahuizotl.
“It is said they conjure the wickedest of creatures that enrapture their victims and take control of their bodily functions. They are unto bombs child.”
“Whoa seriously? Well, mind control is kind of up Discord’s alley, so I wouldn’t doubt it,” you say in amazement before you too glare at the stallion.
“You should feel ashamed of yourself. Now get rid of those awful things or I’ll call the police,” you threaten as you walk away.
“We probably should see if any children have these and destroy them before it’s too late,” Ahuizotl says as you rejoin Grandbuggy and Greta.
“Good idea Ahz,” you agree.
Down with Chrysalis’s Comment
And as you and your fellow Outcasts walk away, the sales stallion still stands there in bewilderment as he takes a pin an pops the balloon, which releases a ferret which wraps around his neck and cuddles him.
“Goodness me, that was a bit harsh,” he says sounding hurt. “Stupid Montezuma. Just because a harmless little corn snake popped out of your balloon and literally scared the poop out of you didn’t mean you had to ruin it for everyone else.”
He then pets the adorable ferret as your group rounds a corner and disappears.
“Well at least it was good seeing Nightshade again before all the heartache…Wish I could have seen a smile instead of anger” he says sympathetically before taking out a pocket watch from seemingly nowhere. Strangely instead of a regular clock, it displays countdown of some kind. Upon seeing the countdown, the stallion’s good mood sombers even more.
“And it’s almost time for past me’s mistakes to manifest, what an idiot,” he shakes his head in disgust. “Better get back to the old Doctor before I cause some paradox or whatever.”
Closing the pocket watch he looks back in the direction where your group left and sighs.
“Good luck Nightshade. I’m sorry for what’s to come…”
With that said the stallions horn flashes and him, along with his stand and that ferret, seemingly disappear. As if it had never been there in the first place.
Kichi’s Comment
Back with your group, Grandbuggy is facehoofing as you’ve taken a filly’s balloon from her.
“Give that back you jerk!” she cries and flails at you.
“Do you want to die you idiot?! I’m saving your life!” you shout as you hold her back with your other hoof.
“Ahuizotl, Montezuma was a drama queen with irritable bowel syndrome, I wouldn’t take his words to heart,” Grandbuggy groans.
“It’s better safe than sorry Fix,” he defends as the filly’s mother starts scolding you.
Later
After having popped the filly’s balloon and producing an adorable Guinea Pig out of nowhere, Grandbuggy settled matters with the mother and you all embarrassingly moved on.
“But what if that furry potato brainwashes her Grandbuggy?” you exposit for the fifth time causing him rub his temple.
“Trust me honey, she’ll be fine.”
“Not gonna lie, that little thing looked delicious,” Greta says, causing all of you to look at her aghast.
“What? I’m an omnivore. Cooked rodent is delicious,” she defends.
“And there went my appetite…for now,” you gag as you all scout out the stalls. None of the rock, mineral or antiques stalls you’ve visited have had a petrified dragon egg so far, but you’ve got a lot to go.
“I will not apologize for scrumptious meat,” Greta huffs and looks away before her eyes go wide. “Ooohh!” and she flies off to a stall.
“After her before she eats hamsters!” You cry out and rush after her.
When you finally catch up, you see exactly what’s caught her eyes. There are all kinds of interesting looking items, some of which look like video game and movie props.
There’s some creepy masks that give you the chills, a green one, a blue one, and a horned one. There's also a ring with some inscription in another language on it, a mummified paw of a monkey, some po-ny-oh decks of cards, a necklace made of four-leaf clovers, a cup that feels magical, a lance with the words 'Gungnir' inscribed on it, a hammer with a banner that reads "Whosoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy, shall possess the..." and the rest was ineligible.
Then there's a ring with a green gem, some glass jars with colorful liquids labeled potions, a strange portrait of a beautiful pony, a scythe, a silver cloak that seems to be both tangible and invisible at the same time, what seemed to be pieces of a rainbow made of darkness and so much more.
“I…I…I don’t know what to choose,” Greta squees her talons hovering over the many items.
“I know right? There sure is a lot,” you say looking to a sword the size of a surfboard.
“Ever since your dad took down the Knights, I haven’t seen video game props so well made. These might be remnants of those good times,” Greta says as she reaches for a familiar looking helmet.”
“Yeah, Nope!” Granbuggy interrupts and slaps her talon.
“Ohhhh, why not?” she whines.
“Because, unlike Ahzi’s last assessment, this crap here is definitely cursed,” he says as he ushers you away from the table.
“How can you tell?” you say as you walk beside him.
“Because I can smells it. Plus the fact that you got all this junk and no sales pony behind the table, it just reeks of a trap, and we ain’t gonna spring it.”
You nod at this wisdom and go along with him…
Down with Chrysalis’s Comment
"Come on let me go! Do you see the stuff on that table?!” Greta squawks and hollers, literally being dragged by Ahuizotl.
“Half of it looks like limited edition collectibles, and the rest look like actual props from the games and shows! Let me go you giant fur ball before I peck your tail off, I need that merchandise!"
“Greta, it’s not worth being cursed,” you call back.
“Like Tartarus it isn’t!” she defies while she squirms in Ahuizotl’s hand tail.
“I beg to differ, I once had a curse where a banjo grew from my knee. It was terrible,” Ahuizotl shudders.
And as your group rounds the corner, a nerdy bespectacled stallion walks up to the booth.
“Ooohhh, the Doom Slayer’s Armor, awesome!” he says picking up a green set of armor, before disappearing in a flash of light. As he does, a creepy hooded biped of some kind comes out from under the table and chuckles darkly.
"Ah, so another Displace joins the game. A hero or villain, I wonder what he'll be..." And with that, he and his shop disappear.
After some more walking, and Greta going boneless in protest, you come across two booths with very long lines, and the banners at the top of the booths are interesting to say the least.
“What the buck?” you say as on the right is a depiction of Daddy in his Crimson Vengeance garb, and on the left is him as the Hooded Offender.
“Well…that’s interesting,” Grandbuggy says as he looks at the booths and their merchandise, which is mostly T-Shirts and posters.
“You can say that again,” you say in awe as you take in the shoppers. On the Offender’s side, there appears to be a bunch of geeks and gothy looking ponies and creatures, while the Crimson Vengeance Side has what looks like off-duty guards and children.
On top of all of that, both stand owners are arguing relentlessly even as they make transactions.
“He still protects from the shadows harnessing the power of evil for good!” the black wearing, heavy set pegasus in the Offender booth argues.
“Yeah!” shout the Geeks and Goths.
“Bullspit! You’re puny changeling is just a puppet of the single greatest threat to this nation and the world!” the buff as Tartarus CV stand owner growls.
“Yeah!” the guards and children shout.
“Why fear what you can’t understand?! The Mare in the Moon protects in her own way with her hero!”
“Yeah!”
“He ain’t no hero! He’s a giant bug being manipulated to kill and destroy. You want a real hero? You look at The Crimson Vengeance who saved countless lives without taking any!”
“Yeah!”
“Oh sure, some hero who disappeared once he got his money!”
“Like you can say that with your little cult head hiding like a little wuss once his master got found out!”
And they keep going back and forth like that while the audience shouts their support.
“This is…this is that fancy word where things are bonkers and confusing,” you say.
“Surreal?” Grandbuggy suggests.
“Yeah that’s it,” you nod.
“Why is it surreal? I’m sure your dad could beat up the Offender any day of the week,” Greta says, apparently getting over her boneless protest.
You give her a confused look before you look back Grandbuggy, and realization dawns on you.
None of You Have Told Greta that CV and The Offender are the same person.
Well this is awkward…Maybe we should tell her at some point.
As you come to that conclusion, you hear a cry from the middle of both groups.
“Both Crimson Vengeance and The Hooded Offender are masks for what is truly the problem!”
Looking over you spot a certain comic book loving stallion from Ponyville that your dad would regularly knock out for freaking out.
“What’s the real problem then?” asks both stallion booth owners at the same time.
“The fact that DC got away with Countdown and Cry of Justice! These Comics SUCK and every copy must be burned! AAAAAHHHHHH!!!” he starts screaming madly, getting on the nerves of everyone.
…Well since Daddy’s not here, you shrug as you pull out the Scone of Bludgeoning and toss it at the stallion’s head.
“And let’s not forget One More D-*BONK*” and he goes down, with your scone bouncing back towards you. Not seeing the source of the thrown object, everyone in both crowds start clapping and laughing, before immediately going back to arguing.
In Human Land
Bugze suddenly feels a swelling of fatherly pride and stops midsentence.
“Uh…is everything alright?” asks Sunset.
“Yeah, yeah I think it is. I think my little girl just did something sound and just,” he beams.
I don’t know, I feel as though she might have done something misguided, Selena counters.
“No…no it’s definitely something justified,” he smiles.
“Ooookkkay…” Rainbow says a bit confused.
“But anyway, where was I? Oh right! So there I was dressed as a Big Daddy, and Nightshade…”
Back in Equestria
After leaving the crowd of bickering ponies, you and your group come across two familiar red haired stallions.
“Hey, aren’t you the guys who’s Apple Machine blew up two years ago?”
“What?!” shouts Flim.
“Who Told You That?!” asks Flam.
“Uh, I was there?” you point out. “You machine tried to eat my daddy.”
“Well…you’re clearly misremembering things,” they lie and you give them a disbelieving look.
“Uh huh,” you nod.
“Besides, the Cider Game is so two seasons ago,” Flam says.
“Yes, for now we are on to medical cures!”
“With our new revolutionary Tonic!”
“Tonic?” you ask in surprise, remembering the ones that helped boost your dad’s powers. “What do they do?”
“Why my dear little filly, they help even the most grievous of wounds,” Flim says.
“And they keep the elderly spry and alive,” Flam finishes.
“Perhaps your Grandpa there could use some,” they both point to Grandbuggy.
“And what’s that supposed to mean?” he says grumpily.
“Well not to offend sir,” Flam starts.
“But you’re in your Twilight years,” Flim ends.
“That cigar in your mouth is shortening that time as well,” Flam adds.
“And I’m sure a man of your caliber takes a nip of the hard stuff too,” Flim speaks up.
“But this revolutionary tonic can give back those years that-“
“I don’t want no gorramned snake oil ya idjits!” he barks taking them aback.
“Sir, this is not snake oil it is-“
“I don’t care what it is, I know this game, played it a few times myself. But if you think I’m going to be drinking banana and onion goop instead of some whiskey and giving up my smokes, you got another thing coming!”
“Now hold on Grandbuggy, what if these are some healing tonics? Like maybe we could get regeneration powers like Daddy?”
Hearing that Flim and Flam put their heads together and whisper.
“Oooh, that’s a good marketing ploy right there,” Flim says.
“I agree brother of mine, the tonic makes your immune system super powered,” Flam agrees.
“It’ll practically sell itself!” they both say.
“Nightshade, I don’t care if it was the fountain of youth, I ain’t taking no tonic from some Machine Cavorting Frauds.”
“Machine Cavorting?” Flim and Flam ask.
“Grandbuggy, not all machines are evil,” you deadpan.
“No, but the ones that built them are, and everything they build is bound by that same evil!” he starts ranting causing others to look at him.
“Uh, Fix, you’re causing a sc-“ Ahuizotl starts to warn before Grandbuggy cuts him off.
“Those healing tonics are evil I tells ya! Evil! EEEVVVIIILLL!!!” Grandbuggy rants while you just facehoof in embarrassment.
“Sir, could you please stop shouting?” Flam says looking around at all the negative press.
“Yes, could you? If you do we’ll cut you in on some of the profits and-“
“This juice makes your brain go crazy! Dear Gods Above Save Meeeee!!!” he shouts insanely which drives away any other potential buyers.
“No! Don’t Listen To Him! He Didn’t Even Try It!” they call out, but it’s too late, the damage has been done. They give him the stink eye over his antics to which he chuckles, suddenly “sane” again.
“Please leave our site and never come back!” they shout. Grandbuggy just shrugs, strikes a match and lights up his cigar.
“That there is what happens when you insinuate I should give up my smokes. All in all, fair trade,” he says blowing smoke in their faces as he walks away. Rolling your eyes, you follow him, with the bewildered Ahuizotl and Greta following soon after.
“That was kind of mean Grandbuggy,” you admonish.
“Trust me kid, I did a lot of folks around here a service,” he says before his eyes start scanning the other tents. “Now, since we’re having trouble with finding this Egg, let’s see if there’s any beast tents around. They might have some fresher ones and know where to find a petrified type.”
A Few Moments Later
You know all find yourselves in a tent run by a large scarred stallion in strange garb. Inside, he has countless cages full of snarling, monstrous looking things. Some of the things you have never heard of.
“Who the heck would want monsters as pets?” you say as you look at a winged, three eyed, horned…thing which hisses at you.
“Rich folk mostly,” Grandbuggy shrugs.
“And those needing extra security for their lairs,” Ahuizotl exposits as he peers at something that looks like an Alligator made of stones.
Kichi’s Comment
“I can’t believe there’s even a market for monster pets,” Greta says as she sticks her finger in the cage of a white rabbit with red stuff around it’s mouth. When it tries to bite, she immediately pulls back and squawks.
“It is a living,” the monster hunter shrugs. “And you’re lucky you still have your talon. Descendant’s of Chaerbanog are notoriously violent.”
“Say what now?” Greta asks, but Ahuizotl seems intrigued.
“Truly? Is it a pureblood descendant?”
“Ya,” the stallion nods. “You can tell because of it’s pure black eyes and bone white fur.”
“Fascinating,” Ahuizotl says.
“The buck’s a Chair Bong?” you ask.
“Chaerbanog was an ancient monstrous rabbit that was the protector of an ancient powerful artifact and was said to have slain an entire legion of soldiers.”
“…A rabbit?” you ask skeptically.
“Oh, he was no ordinary bunny,” Grandbuggy says shuddering in remembrance. “He was a vicious killer, but eventually he got done in when ponies finally starting using black powder.”
“Si, but he did have children, and those descendants are sought after for their ruthlessness and savagery,” Ahuizotl explains.
You look back at the snarling bunny with blood on his lips.
“Huh…You know he kind of looks like Angel,” you realize. “I wonder if that’s why he’s always such a jerk.”
Across Equestria in a hut near the White Tail Woods, a little white bunny sneezes while looking at a portrait of a certain robot fox.
“Aye, though I don’t think you’re interested in him? What can I do for ya?” asks the monster hunting stallion.
“I’m wondering if ya got any dragon eggs?”
The stallion’s eyes widen and he starts shushing Grandbuggy before he leans in closer.
“I’m not in that business sir. It’s far too dangerous.”
“Alright alright, but I’m sure you know someone who might have some? Specifically a petrified one.”
“Petrified?” the stallion says sounding a bit relieved. “Aye I know where one of those is. I traded it to a diamond dog for a bunch of Nightmare Night disguises.”
At that declaration, you all give him weird looks.
“What? I like having costume parties…”
Down with Chrysalis’s Comment
After getting directions from the monster hunter, you find the Diamond Dog’s booth. He’s tall, dark brown, has a lisp, and he’s selling costumes, mystery machines and other oddities. But before any of you can ask him any questions.
“YOU!!!” Grandbuggy shouts in anger causing the Dog to look at him.
“Ruh?” he asks.
“You and your flankhole friends are the ones that kept messing up my get rich quick schemes!” Grandbuggy growls getting up in his face.
The diamond dog looks confused at first, but once Grandbuggy is in his personal space, his eyes widen in fear.
“RUH ROH! Miner Rorty Niner!” he screams as he takes off running…
Ello Calebero’s Comment
WARGAMES’ Comment
Only to crash into another vendor’s stand.
“My Cabbages!” the pony shouts in anguish as the dog lies there dizzily.
“This is the worst! My brother needs financial support since his fireworks stand got destroyed!” the stallion admonishes the splayed out canine. As he does, you, Ahuizotl and Greta both slowly look at Grandbuggy.
“What?” he asks.
“What did that dog and his friends do to you?” you ask seriously.
“Ruined good schemes is what,” he spits. “They unmasked me when I tried to get all that gold in the abandoned mine, and when I tried to fraud the amusement park and when I tried to drive the housing market down in a neighborhood and-Look! The point is, I would have gotten away with all of it if it weren’t for those meddling kids and that dog!”
The three of you share a look at that declaration before you all shrug.
Moments Later
After Grandbuggy asked (interrogated) the poor diamond dog about the egg, he pointed in the direction of another stall that he claimed he traded it for a box of dog snacks.
When you reach that stall though, with its blue flame torches, you gasp in realization.
Puzzling Frost’s Comment
“Holy Buck, I know who runs this shop!” you say excitedly. Sure enough, at your voice a familiar masked pony in a cloak walks out of his tent.
"Welcome!” He greets with a chuckle. “Hello again little one.”
"I knew it was you! Wow it's been awhile how have you been since the concert?" You say walking up to the merchant.
"I have been well young one. I can see you've grown," The merchant says with a smile.
"Really? I mean I can't really tell," You say checking to see if you got taller, the past few years you've remained relatively the same height.
"Not in size my dear, but in spirit. Your magic power has improved as well. Now what can I do for you?" The merchant says motioning to their stall and the many wears inside.
"Wow that's a lot of stuff!" You say in awe at all the potions, masks, books, and many weapons.
"Indeed, it took me many a year to create such a collection. I’ve got some rare things on sale if you’re looking to buy.”
“Well that’s nice, but actually we were looking for a dr-Oooh, what is this?!” you say picking up a short red pool in a little strap on a bag.
“It reminds me of a weapon one of my friends has,” You say thinking back to Zecora’s whacking stick.
“Ahh good choice young one,” he says as you look it over, “A battle pole, used for hitting enemies as well as disarming them. Very good for non lethal takedowns, and it has a few surprises hidden away. You want it?”
“Yes please,” you say excitedly.
“What are ya sellin?” he asks mischievously, and you bonk yourself on the head for forgetting that part.
Reaching into your inventory, you pull out the Kendo Stick you’ve never used.
“Will this work?”
“Hmmm. Giraffrican Oakwood and Cragodile hide handle…I’ll take it.”
“Done, and done,” you say as you hand him the stick.
“Heh heh heh heh, thank you,” he nods in appreciation.
Power Pole Added to Inventory
“Is that all filly?” he asks.
“Yeah pretty much I-“ you look back at Grandbuggy, Ahuizotl and Greta who are just watching this whole transaction with interest. “Oh, right! A Diamond Dog said he traded you a petrified dragon egg earlier. Do you still have it?”
"Why yes! I'll be just a moment," he turns around goes into the back of his stall.
“Soooo, friend of yours?” asks Grandbuggy.
“Eh, kind of. He helped get us in the Sapphire Shores concert last year.
You then hear an all matter of noises coming from the stall. Taking a step back you watch it shake and bounce up and down as the merchant continues to search. You swear you hear, animal cries, breaking glass, and even music coming from inside, until eventually the stall settles back down. The merchant steps back out into view and he looks shocked and angry.
"I'm sorry little one, but it seems the object you seek is no longer here. I've been robbed!" The Merchant yells and you back up even further as you see steam come out of his ears.
"You have?" You ask confused. “Are you sure you didn’t just misplace it?” The Merchant pulls out a note at that.
"It seems our thieves left a calling card,” he then turns the page towards you and you freeze as it’s familiar. A bleeding sun with an arrow through it, only the symbol was black instead of red.
Underneath that, is a warning.
"Through blackest day and darkest night, We shall rise with greater might! With luck on our side we will do what needs be done. Long live the Black Suns.”
“What?! Who the buck are the Black Suns?!” you ask angrily.
On a Train Heading Out of Rainbow Falls
“Hey boss, who the buck are the Black Suns?” asks a large earth pony bodyguard with a beard.
“I have no clue, but it doesn’t matter it’s subtle misdirection,” says Doctor Calleberon as he holds the petrified egg in his satchel. “Our benefactor asked us to leave these calling cards and that’s exactly what we’re going to do. That way we go about our mission, and someone else gets the blame.”
???
DWC smiles trollishly as he starts penning a new letter.
“Man I love stirring things up. Wonder how Flag’s group will respond when someone starts asking for them by name…”
He then starts writing his letter.
Dear Nightshade,
Rainbow Falls
Down with Chrysalis’s Comment
“Well this is some bullspit!” you growl as you throw the note to the ground. “What are the chances of this?!”
“Astronomical,” Grandbuggy says perturbed.
“And way too convenient,” Greta says.
“Ugh! Now what do we do?” you groan.
“Well, we still have a few shops,” Ahuizotl says looking at a few ponies who have gardening supplies out. “…though that may not pan out.”
Grandbuggy lets out a sigh. “Well, I guess we go with Plan B then. There was always the chance of this, but I got a back up.”
“And what is it?” you ask.
“We were going to the Dragon Lands anyway, but I’d hoped we wouldn’t have to ask Torch for two things…” he lets out another sigh. “Dealing with dragons can be a real pain.”
And as he says that,
"NIGHTSHADE! I'VE FINALLY FOUND YOU!"
You and the rest of the Outcasts turn around in shock as you see some tall lanky red dragon wearing some weird armor and carrying a bo-staff of all things.
“At long last, I will defeat you and-“
"Who are you again?" you interrupt him which seems to throw him off.
"Wha-Huh? It's me! Garble!” he stutters.
“Uhhhh…” you say as you look up in thought.
“Your eternal rival?”
“Uhhhhh.”
“You brought great shame to me in Applewood?”
“Did I meet you there?” you say aloud.
“I…have you really forgotten me?” he says sounding crestfallen. “You beat me again in that hippie commune.”
"Oh right, Garble! Where have you been man?” you say happily which stumps him.
“Really? That’s what you remember?”
“Actually, I was just messing with you,” you giggle. “I need all the lightheartedness I can get since some thieving flankholes ruined my day!” you huff.
“Oh…OK then,” he says confused.
“But anyway long time no see. I thought you said you'd stalk me and daddy till the ends of time so you could get a rematch with me?"
At your question Garble gets an embarrassed look on his face as he rubs the back of his head.
"And I would have too, I just...got a little lost is all and kind of ended up running a business here and-Look that doesn't matter now! Today, I will defeat you once and for all!" he says reading his bo staff.
“Well, about that, I kind of don’t want to fight you right now,” you admit.
“Huh?”
“I’m trying not to be a bully anymore and I realize that the way I treated you in the past was wrong so…I’m sorry.”
“Bu-I…You can’t do that!”
“I can’t?” you ask in surprise.
“Yeah, because we’re rivals! We have to fight, you can’t just apologize and end it! That would dishonor me more!”
“Oh, I didn’t know that,” you say scratching your head.
“OK, your family is officially the weirdest,” Greta sighs to Grandbuggy.
“Agreed. She has a rivalry with a dragon?”
“It appears so,” Grandbuggy says rubbing his temple.
“Grandbuggy, is it true I have to fight my rival when he wants to fight?” you ask.
“Well, traditionally yes,” he says.
“And it’s not bullying?”
“…I mean, that’s a grey area-“
“Right! All I needed to know,” you say smiling as you take out your newly acquired Power Pole.
“Ah, so you have one too huh?” Garble says impressed. “I hope you know how to use it, for I have trained hard!”
“Nope, no idea,” you say snarkily.
You face Garble the dragon, you lock eyes, and as you do, both of you start to run at each other…
Puzzling Frost’s Comment
Only to both stop as you hear screaming and the sound of breaking wood and rock.
“Huh?” you both exclaim looking to the source of the noise. And what you see is…weird.
“What the buck is that?” you ask as suddenly the moon and sun take up half and half of the sky and giant black spikey tendrils start snaking their way through the Exchange.
“I have no idea,” Garble says confused.
Looking to Grandbuggy you see he looks perplexed, as does Ahuizotl and Greta.
“What is it Grandbuggy?”
“Trouble kiddo. Same as always,” Grandbuggy declares as he chomps his cigar harder.
WHAT DO YOU DO?
Hey look at that, 38 Chapters in and Season 4 finally starts 
Hi Hive-Mind,
That’s right, the Season 4 opening begins, and while the Mane 6 deal with Canterlot and Ponyville, The Outcasts got all of Rainbow Falls.
These plants are trouble, (captured the Princesses easily) so Nightshade and Co are gonna have a tough battle. Thankfully, you got skills and your inventory items (Listed Below).
Have Fun.
See you next chapter,
Brown Dog.
INVENTORY
Weapons
Dark Cannon (Laser Gun with Limited Shots)
Junk Jet (Cannon that Launches Junk)
Scone of Bludgeoning
8 Jars of Laughter
Power Pole
Artifacts
Golden Idol of Boreas
Ring of Scorchero
Miscelaneous
Daring Do’s Pith Helmet
Assorted Movies, Videogames and Videogame Systems
Ocarina (Might be able to manipulate weather?)
Mangle, Plush Robot Fox Pet
Rubber Quesadilla
Stats
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Greta has seen enough tentacles
to know where this is going
And now we play a game of spot the references! This is going to be a very long list.
Toys are us... rip in pepperonis
Not sure if this is a reference, but her name reminded me of bloody Mary
This isn't a reference, but I can't help but feel bad for future discord here
Majora's mask, Lord of the rings, the monkey's paw. Yu-Gi-Oh. Those are the ones I recognized
Harry potter's invisibility cloak and the Rainbow of darkness from g1 mlp. Those are the ones I recognized. Also I think the ring with a green gem is green lantern.
The displaced fics... helps that it was both obvious and they gave a link to their group.
Monty Python and the Holy Grail... I think silver still suggests you use celestia's holy hand grenade - deluxe edition
Scooby-Doo
And those are all the references that I spotted/remember
ROCKET LAUNCHER THOSE FUCKS
(remember the scone and launcher)
Also this is like a place where you just like bought a fuck ton of shit, These guys will have guns
Is it going to be a scene where nightshade and garble count their kills/whatever, That would be fun
It wouln'd surprise me if the evil doctor got trapped by the vines inappropriately
AND finally , EVERYTHINGS BETTER WITH TANKS
EVERY SINGLE FUCKDAMM THING
You also find a friendly tentacle vine thing , who you name Bob
and you play a WII game with Bob
Launch mangle and the quesadilla at some thing, and watch it go
Now while most of the creatures and ponies around you start running away in a panic at the attacking vines, you just send your Grandbuggy a smug look. To this your Grandbuggy just gives out a tired sigh before he says,
"Okay, so maybe we do end up fighting everywhere we go. But by no means did you know that these would be what we would fight!"
You just roll your eyes playfully before you say,
"Whatever you say Grandbuggy, now..."
With a determined glint you start to rush into the fray and yell out,
"Let's get this party started!"
The rest of the Outcast soon join you, and all Tarturus soon breaks loose!
Now of course while most ponies would either run in terror at the sight of these vines, you instead relay on your instincts. And of course when faced with evil vines of death, there's only one obvious solution to this!
"EAT LAZER BUCKERS!!"
Yes, you instantly pull out the Dark Cannon and yell as it finishes charging and fires. The arrow looking like shot zigzags through vine after vine, almost acting like a homing shot as it tears the vines to pieces. Eventually the arrow beam hits its last target and fades away, leaving chunks of burning vine in the aftermath.
The few ponies and creatures who stuck around stare at your smug form as you lean onto your weapon with pride. In fact, you pull a bit of inspiration from Rainbow Dash as you say,
"I know I know, my laser was bucking awesome! Those vines don't got nothing on m-"
You boasting is cut off when, what you thought were dead vines, suddenly start to regenerate! While the bits that were cut off remain withering on the ground, those that were still coming out of the forest start to grow again. In fact, its almost as if the vines are angry as they start to lash out even more violently then both. They also seem to be growing even faster as more of the market is consumed by it.
The ponies and creatures looks of awe change to looks of shock/annoyance, which only causes you to chuckle nervously as you think,
Huh...so this is how Daddy feels like when he bucks up.
During your fight you notice one of the black vines dragging off the Pinkie clone. As you run off to try and save her, you hear her shout,
"Ah! Evil black vines dragging me off to my uncertain doom! That gypsy mare was right!"
For some reason this sounds familiar to you, but you shrug off as you try to cut Laughing loose.
Sometime during the fight you get caught off from your fellow Outcast, and end up being back to back with Garble as your surrounded by the black vines that are slowly getting closer and closer to the both of you.
You start looking around in slight panic as you try and think of a solution out of this mess.
Come on brain, think! What would Daddy do in this situation!?
It is as you think this that you notice Garble breathing fire at some incoming vines, causing them to back off as if scared of the flames. And like that you gain a idea that would make your Daddy swell up in both pride and awe.
With a plan in mind you start to rummage through your Inventory as you ask Garble,
"Quick Grable, how long can you breath fire!?"
Your self-imposed eternal rival gives you a confused glare as he says,
"What!? Why would I tell you that? You would just use that information in our next battle against me!"
You can't help but roll your eyes in annoyance as you grunt out,
"Oh come on man! We're surrounded by evil vines and unless you tell me we won't even have another battle! Besides, aren't rivals supposed to reluctantly help each other out in times of crisis?"
Garble doesn't respond right away, but after a few moments of silence you get annoyed at his lack of response as you momentarily stop searching to look at him and yell,
"GARBLE!"
Your shout manages to snap him out of it as he groans and says,
"Alright alright fine! I can use my flames for about thirty to forty seconds before I need to take another breath. Now how is that supposed to help us!?"
You just smirk as you look into your Inventory one more time and pull out the Ring of Scorchero, and with a evil smile you say,
"Well, tell me Garble. How do you feel about giving these nasty vines a little heated message not to mess with us?"
Garble's eyes widen at the sight of the ancient artifact before he seems to catch onto your idea and returns your evil grin with one of his own.
"Oh man, I am suddenly very happy to be your eternal rival! Let's do this!"
And in a almost perfectly synched motion you climb onto Garble, who is taking the deepest breath he can, and hold the ring in front of his mouth. Soon Garble breaths enough and calls forth his flames, and as he does you both suddenly yell out in synch,
"MEGA FLAME!"
And in true beautiful fashion Garble's flames travel through the ring, and as they do they suddenly get far larger and hotter. Hi flames, imbued with the power of the ring, unleash devastating destruction on the vines surrounding you both. Almost nothing remains of them as they all burn to ash as the flames consume them.
There's no doubt in your mind that if your Daddy were here, he would have fainted at the display of fire given today.
Sadly your combo attack managed to only destroy the vines surrounding you and Garble, and you still have to deal with the rest of them attacking the market and the other Outcast.
Speaking of the other Outcast, a few ideas:
Greta goes all Wolverine on the vines, using her claws to hack and slash them one after the other. She's also spouting one-liners like you and your Daddy, but most of them are just bad cutting puns.
Ahuizotl is also using his claws to cut the vines, but he also is using his hand tail to wield a machete to cut the vines as well. He also seems to still be a bit bitter over the whole Daring Doo thing, as he starts using a stalls merchandise of her and her books as ammo against the vines while yelling insults at them. Whether those were meant for the vines or Daring you couldn't tell.
Your Grandbuggy, being the kickflank that he is, is dodging vines left and right while taking them out as they pass him. You honestly think he would be a lot cooler if he didn't get distracted flirting with every mare he saves from the vines. You seriously are starting to think your Grandbuggy has a bit of a problem with his flirting habits.
Also, before I forget I feel like Nightshade should express her annoyance over the lack of Discord lamps to use as ammo, only for a couple of said lamps to appear behind her in a flash. She doesn't really bother to question it as she just starts throwing them at the nearest vines. She also throws some of the Flim Flam bro's tonics, which surprisingly causes the vines to melt when coming into contact with them. Cue get rich scheme from them as they start selling the tonic to the panicking ponies/creatures to fight the vines.
The fight with the vines started out good, but now things are starting to turn for the worse. Not only can you not repeat your combo move with Garble as apparently the dumb ring needs to recharge of all things, but your starting to tire out. For every vine you destroy three more pop up, and its starting to take its toll on you.
You destroy yet another vine and start to breath deeply in exhaustion as you think,
Geeze...how does daddy do this so often?
So tired and deep in your thoughts you don't notice a vine whipping towards you till its too late. It manages to hit you and sends you flying through a few stands. When you hit the ground you roll a few feet and let out a groan of pain as you finally come to a stop.
"Ugh...this isn't good. Gotta think of something...fast."
As if to answer your plea a flash of light catches your attention in the corner of your eyes. Looking towards it you gasp in shock as a very familiar looking object that should not be here is...well here. And with it a scroll with a familiar seal on it. You hesitantly read the scroll, and once you do you look back at the object in worry.
Picking it up you can feel the power in it, yet at the same time you know just what happens when someone wears it considering the last time you saw it. Looking back at the destruction the vines are causing, and seeing all your fellow fighters almost on their last legs, you look back at the object and say,
"I'm...I'm really going to regret this. Sorry Daddy..."
And done! I hope I didn't go overbroad with the ring idea, I just figured since it draws on the power of the sun it might give a boost to dragon fire when it goes through it. As for that last part...well lets just say Nightshade is in for some fun and leave it at that....
Not like the monster hunter has a permit for a blunderbuss to put monsters down if they escape. Plus with what's going on, it's not like... the vines knock over the cages, let the rabbit out, rabbit finds said blunderbuss and-....
9507433
Okay see now I want the vines to gain intelligence and start acting/talking like Aku! Imagine all the chaos that would cause!
As the strange vines seemed to be going after Nightshade and she was defending herself, in a stall a radio that was on giving music suddenly stop and the voice of a pony can be heard.
"Emergency news, the sun and the moon had appeared suddenly in the sky, our reporter in Canterlot tell us that the Princesses are missing, the acting prince Blueballs that is sadly the only prince in Canterlot so we are forced to obey him, is accusing the changeling previously known as 'The Hooded Offender' that is searched by many crimes, the last of them assault and nearly kill a innocent showmare, kidnap a filly and use dark magic to control her and give her fake wings and many more crimes, while strange vines seem to come from the forest in direction to someplace of Equestria and to the north in direction to the Crystal Empire, we ask that everypony maintain the calm and for people to help us. Burning Avenger if you are hearing this, we need your help" Commented the pony in the radio.
Nightshade groaned as she defended herself from the vines, she was not even sure if she was angry, sad or disappointed, Blueballs was in charge, something she was not happy but she guessed that the only other royal was Shining Armor after being married to Cadence or miss Twilight and both were very far of Canterlot and maybe busy. The worse was the lies they told about his daddy and yet she was a little surprised how in the same message they decided to ask for his help.
The main problem Nightshade had, was defending herself against the vines that somehow seemed to want to capture her and were focusing only on her.
"You will never get her, perverted vines, I watched enough videos to know what happened when vines or tentacles go after a young mare or filly and you will never take 'that' from her" Shouted Grandbuggy making Nightshade and other ponies recoil in disgust as they looked at the vines, thinking precisely what could the vines be trying to do as many muttered and whispered in low voices.
"We have recently got a hold of some news, in some places of Equestria, ponies wearing the suit of the terrorist known as 'The offender' had been seen around, referring themselves as 'the horde' they seem to be fighting the vines how they can, is suggested that no one approach them as they are possibly deranged cultist. Here from the Pony Bugle we will inform of the last menaces for our society" Commented the reporter in the radio
------------
What better that a crazy reporter and a stupid prince in the power to add more infamy? I based the reporter a little in J J Jameson from Spiderman and how he go after the hero. I don't remember all the crimes of Bugzee sadly.
At one point Slender p steps in and saves their bacon tentacle a la tentacle because if they die then he'll never get his 20 bits
9507509
Ask and ye shall receive! On with the show!
As you knock away several vines with your pole you hear the sound of slashing. You turn to see the merchant pony defending his stall with a sword in his mouth.
i.psnprofiles.com/guides/8163/74d5ed.png
You run toward him knocking away a sneaky vine coming at him from behind.
“Look out!” You shout.
“Thanks for the help little one. I have to keep these vines away from my goods, who knows what could happen if they got a hold of one of my items.” As he says this you see Ahuizotl having trouble dealing with the vines. A strange looking vine appears next to him, at the end appears to be a flytrap about to grab him.
“Mr. Merchant! Look!” You direct his attention to Ahuizotl.
“Behind you!” The merchant shouts tossing his sword into the mouth of the flytrap. Barely missing Ahuizotl’s head.
“Oi you nearly took my head off!” He shouts in anger.
“I just gave you a weapon! Use it!” The merchant says pulling out more weapons from his stall. He whistles attracting the others attention. He tosses them to your gang.
9507172
Greta grabs a pair of gauntlets, she puts them on and deploy some claws.cdn11.bigcommerce.com/s-sd2rb2jpmz/products/2476/images/2633/EW-4200__78389.1485291090.500.750.jpg?c=2
“Sweet!” Greta says flying over to you.
Ahuizotl catches two more pairs of swords.
i.psnprofiles.com/guides/8163/c7bba0.png
i.psnprofiles.com/guides/8163/78d35a.png
Once in his palms they ignite with magic energy. One with blue electricity, another with blazing fire, and the double bladed sword causing wind and air swirl around it.
“Interesting!” Ahuizotl says slicing a pathway to you.
Grandbuggy grabs a large sword that lets off some steam.images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51qadI1NlrL._SX425_.jpg
“Nice.” Grandbuggy says. He teleports next to you. The merchant pulls out a large looking axe.
vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/elderscrolls/images/f/f6/SteelBattleAxe_SK.png/revision/latest?cb=20121012192819
Garble with his boe staff stands next to you. You take this moment to speak. Mangle comes out of the inventory and blasts insperational music.
“Outcasts! Who are we!” You shout.
“Those who society shuns!” Greta says.
“Villains in the eyes of the law!” Ahuizotl says.
“Monsters in the eyes of the people.” Grandbuggy shouts.
“And what do we do!?” You shout as the vines turn their attention to your group. Nearby creatures turn and look at the commotion.
“Hide in the shadows to protect the light.” The merchant says joining in.
“Protect the defenseless from harm.” Garble says readying his staff.
“And why do we do it!?” You shout.
“We fight to ensure that all are safe from the forces of evil!” They shout. You turn and grin at the horde of vines and plants rushing toward you.
“And because it’s bucking fun!” You roar as your group charges toward the enemy.
Later
The battle has gotten intense. Sounds of fighting all across the market as your group holds off the vines while the market goers evacuate. Though it seems some were inspired by your speech and decided to help you fight. Your thoughts are interrupted as a vine flings you into a random potion stall. You crash into the back of it. Potions fall off the shelf breaking on the ground. One however lands on in your lap. Unlike the others the potion looks more like black ooze in a bottle. A flytrap comes into the stall and prepares to attack. Without thinking you toss the bottle at the plant. Splattering it with the potion it shreaks and recoils back outside. You get and look outside as vine you saw recoil in agony. The potion coating it in a black liquid. It stops for a moment before screeching. The other vines stop their assault as they are dragged toward the thrashing flytrap. They begin to fold into a black ball of vines as the potion covers the other vines. It slinks into the ground creating a hole. The hole fills up with the black potion. As the noise of the plants dies down. You and your group make way to the hole. You stop as your hoof brushes against the discarded bottle of the potion. There’s a note on it.
“Warning! Unstable dark magic potion! Name: Chemical X. Do not use on any form of living life form, pony, animal, or plant. Results unknown and untested. ” You star slack jawed at the warning.
“Oh crap baskets.”
Suddenly a large black tree rises from the hole. I towers over all, larger than a full grown dragon. It shakes as it’s branches change to form limbs. Horns appear on its top. A face forms at the top. The eyes of the creature open. It’s sickly mouth smiles. It releases a terrifying laugh.
“Oh buck.” You and your group says.
*Meanwhile in Ponyville*
Discord sits in a floating cinema chair looking through binoculars at Rainbow Falls.
“Oh how unexpected! I’m going to need more popcorn!
*after the battle*
Long after the Outcasts leave, guards swarm the area cleaning up the damage. However a group of cloaked figures wander into the battlefield keeping out of sight of the guards. They fan out searching for something. One of them spots a small black claw crawling away from the market. They quickly grab it and place it into a metal container.
“Ohh you’ll come in handy.” The figure says with sinister glee.
And that’s it. It later after aku is born it continues into Down with Chrysalis’s comment with a certain amulet.
I thought it was high time to give the outcasts their own weapons. And who better to give them, then the merchant! Also you really think a battle like this wouldn’t go unnoticed to a certain group?
Y’all like?
Edit: Thanks to kichi for giving me a better idea for Ahuizotl’s swords.
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All my yes...just all my YES! You, my good sir, have just made me laugh like a maniac in the middle of my History lecture class, and it was so worth it! The weapons are amazing, and the battle cry was a brilliant addition. Kind of ashamed that I didn't think of one before.
I am soooo tempted to add on a bit to the Ponville stuff, since Kichi gave me a good idea for a scene there, but I'm leaving for home for spring break soon. But mark my words the minute I get access to a computer I will be adding on to this amazingness!
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I’m here to please!
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MEANWHILE IN PONYVILLE
When one Twilight Sparkle rushed back to her home of Ponyville, she expected many things. Perhaps the town being overrunned by the same black vines attacking other towns near the Everfree. Or even to see some of her fellow ponies panicking in the streets.
What she did not expect was to see the town relatively unharmed, and for a good chunk of ponies wearing the Offender's cloak of all things fighting effectively against the black vines.
"What...what is going on!?"
"Princess Twilight!"
Wincing slightly at her new title, Twilight turns around to see her friends running towards her. This causes Twilight to relax slightly, as hopefully they can explain why a bunch of ponies are dressing up as the Nightmare's vessel and are attacking the vines.
"Applejack! Girls! Please tell you know what's going on!"
Rainbow nervously rubs her hoof behind her head as she mutters out,
"Well...you see...funny story. When those vines started attacking we tried fighting back. But nothing was working! But then those Horde guys started attacking them and we were able to push them back near the forest entrance!"
"The Horde? I thought that group disbanded after the Offender's true nature..."
Applejack just shakes her head at that before saying,
"Ah don't know what to tell ya Princess, maybe once your a fan of that varmints you'll always be one?"
No one seemed to notice both Spike and Fluttershy twitch at Applejacks words and both of them sharing a uneasy glance before Rarity said,
"Well I for one don't mind the extra help. If its alright with you girls I think we should just worry about them after this whole fiasco is taken care of."
Twilight seems to consider her words before she starts saying something, but is interrupted when a explosion goes off behind her. Turning around she sees a bunch of vines now in flames, and that the Horde ponies are using Molotov's against them.
"What the!? Where did they ge-"
"BUCK! I'M OUT OF MOLOTOV'S!"
Twilight's questioning is interrupted as a familiar voice yells in frustration. Another voice, this one with a undertone of classyness to it, calls out,
"Quick, someone get to Mr. Tennant's shack! We need more fire power!"
And like that the mystery of where the Molotov's came from is solved, as the mane six all collectively groan (or giggle in Pinkie's case) while Twilight mumbles,
"Of course, why am I not surprised?"
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Meanwhile in the human world
"Somehow I think I forgot something important in Ponyville, something that could give problems if it was found, that and my 'Nightshade is in danger' sense is active" Commented Bugzee to himself
"I have the same sensation with the crystal empire, I always think that I forgot some dark magic items or something else I decided to hide in someplace" Say Sombra in Bugzee mind
In the crystal empire
Flash Sentry open the door in hurry shouting
"Sir, we have a problem, another code Sombra is discovered... Uhh, sorry" The soldier look at Shining Armor and Princess Cadence in bed
"*Groan* Not again, I almost got that yoga posture, do you know how hard is it to try Yoga only to be interrupted in the best part?" Ask Cadence to Shining Armor and Flash
"We are sorry, sir, you told us to alert you in case of any code Sombra" Commented Flash Sentry
Shining Armor could only hit himself and rue the day he told the soldier to alert him when his soldiers found a code Sombra, that was the name of any dark magic item found somewhere in the empire, who could had thought that Sombra had that many traps and dark magics hidden in the empire
"What is this time? Another necklace that make the wearer shout 'Hail Sombra' again?" Asked Shining Armor
"No sir, it was a paint brush that forced the pony to make graffiti saying 'Sombra Rules, Celestia Drools' everywhere" Commented Flash Sentry
"Ugh... Of bucking course... Put it with the other code Sombra artifacts" Say Shining
"Yes, Sir" Flash Sentry saluted and was ready to leave when he was stopped.
"Wait... What happened to the voices that always follow you?" Asked Shining Armor
"I'm not sure sir, since a couple of days ago they seem to have disappeared" Say Flash as he was leaving
Back to Human World
"Whatever it was, I don't think it was important, we carry with ourselves anything we could need and is not like you are going to return there, right? Asked Selena only for a thunder be listened far away even when the sky was empty of clouds.
"Somehow I think Lady Luck heared you" Groaned Bugzee as he was already thinking of the worse
I personally think that his fire crazy acts up and senses someone using his daughter and stuff to make a beautiful landscape of fire and destruction and falls to his knees selena would ask what he is doing and he would say if discord gets me a recording ill forgive him