Episode 71: I Reject My Equinity!!!
You look back at the rest and raise a questioning eyebrow.
“So is this an everyling for their selves kind of situation, or are we still trusting other survivors?”
“It’s day one of the outbreak, so brutal rival factions won’t crop up just yet” Grandbuggy points out.
“True, but you heard what they said. Bon Bon wanted to stake the vampires.”
“Didn’t you say you would as well?” Ember asks.
“As a last resort! Last Resort!” you correct, before the banging on the door gets louder.
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“ROYAL GUARDS OPEN UP!” Bon Bon shouts enthusiastically, before diving in through the window and landing with a roll.
“Whoa!” you yelp as she quickly stands up and dusts glass off of herself.
“Now what did you go and do that for?! I have a perfectly functioning door!” Zecora growls towards the earth pony.
“Sorry, but everyone was taking too long, and there’s still vamps outside,” she answers. “Hi again Nightshade.”
“Hi Bon Bon,” you wave, before she looks at you expectantly.
“Sooooo, are you going to let my friends in or…?”
“Bon Bon! Open up! Mayor Mare got turned and she’s complaining even more about my wubs!” Vinyl shouts.
“Honk Honk!” Crackle adds.
“Yeah, yeah, I got it,” you roll your eyes and unlock the door, only to immediately get thrown into the wall as the others burst in.
“Thank you!” Octavia says quickly.
“Hi Zecora! We can hold up here right?!” Lyra asks, even as she starts to bar the door and window and Zecora sighs.
“Yeah she’s good. It’d be mighty handy to have them instruments on our side,” Grandbuggy says as he picks you up off the floor and dusts you off.
“Anyling get the number of that carriage?” you say dizzily and shake your head.
“What carriage? I didn’t see one,” Ember looks around.
“It’s a turn of phrase princess,” Grandbuggy rolls his eyes. “When your noggin gets knocked a good one, and you’re dizzy, your brain’s loopy and humorous neurons fire, and you make morbid jokes, usually about being hit by a carriage.”
“Is…is that a pony thing too?”
“Nah, it’s pretty universal. Just wait till you get knocked a good one.”
“Hmmph, as if someone’s gonna be able to hit me that ha-ARGH!”
“Honk Honk Blarg!” Crackle tackles into Ember, knocking her off her feet.
“Ugh…who caused that avalanche?” Ember groans dizzily.
“Avalanche?” you ask as you come out of your stupor.
“I’m not explaining this again!” Grandbuggy shouts to your confusion.
“Oh hey, it’s the old dude that’s shacking up with Granny Smith,” Vinyl says in surprise.
“You got that right missy,” he smirks.
“Crackle! Crackle! Get off of her, she’s a princess!” Spike scolds the misshapen dragon who just pants happily.
“She knows,” Ember groans from underneath. “She used to do this all the time when we were younger.”
“Well there’s more mares out in the living room now, why don’t you just tie them up too?!” Daring shouts from the other room.
“Because they’re not a threat! And even if I wanted to, so what?! It’s not like you’re special and are the only one who I can ensnare!” Ahuizotl argues back.
“Hmmph! That’s plain to see with that stalker fan of mine!” she pouts and he groans.
“What’s, uh, what’s going on in there?” Lyra asks hesitantly.
“Couple’s argument,” Grandbuggy says plainly.
“Oh…” she nods.
“Yah! There’s one of them inside!” Octavia shrieks.
“WHAT?!” Bon Bon shouts and turns around.
“No, no! It’s okay! Rainbow’s tied up and not a threat right now!” Twilight suddenly jumps in front of her friend protectively.
“Can someone just give me some saltines, or some really plain bread?!” Rainbat cries out on the ground, but is ignored.
“See?! So there’s no reason to stake her through the heart,” Twilight pleads with Bon Bon who flinches at that.
“What the-I wasn’t going to do that!” Bon Bon says taken aback, and collectively, you all look at her with deadpanned expressions. “…What?”
“We kind of heard you guys yelling outside,” you monotone.
“Yeah, and staking your neighbors isn’t cool lady,” Grandbuggy scolds. “I mean, unless they really deserve it, like playing their music till three in the morning…”
“Wait, what?” Vinyl double takes.
“But yeah, kind of a dick move,” he finishes.
“Hey! I didn’t actually go through with it, ergo the holy water squirt gun!” she argues back. “And can you really blame me? This isn’t the first time I’ve tangled with bloodsuckers, so it’s just instinct.”
“Wait, what?! You’ve dealt with vampires before?” you ask with intrigue.
“Yup,” she says without elaboration.
“…And?”
“Classified,” she says, ending that line of questioning and you scowl.
“W-Well anyway, thank you for allowing us in. We figured that if anypony could solve this mess, it’d be Zecora,” Octavia butts in.
“Yeah! So…you got like a potion or something?” Vinyl asks.
“I have a few ideas, but nothing concrete. Though with a live specimen, I might be able to accomplish this feat,” she says.
“Oh that’s good. Do you need any assistance?” Lyra asks. “I know a thing or two about magical potions.”
“You do?” asks Twilight surprised and Lyra suddenly looks lost.
“Uh, yeah? We went to the same school together Twilight. We were in the same group with Minuette, Lemon Hearts and Moon Dancer…don’t you remember?”
“…Right,” Twilight says nervously, before her ears droop. “Oh my gosh, I hadn’t thought about that in years. I just forged on with my new friends and didn’t even stop to thi-“
“Ms. Twilight! Make amends later! Vampires still out there!” you interrupt her introspection and her eyes widen.
“R-Right! Of course you can help Lyra!”
“Yay!” the green unicorn cheers before she groups around Rainbow with Twilight and Zecora.
“...So, how did you all bring Rainbow down?” asks Vinyl curiously.
“She tried to drink the pink pony and then started convulsing,” Ember says as she finally pushed Crackle off of her.
“Really?” asks Bon Bon, genuinely curious.
“Yup, guess her blood is too sweet for vampires to handle,” Spike nods and she puts a hoof to her chin.
“Huh, never knew sugar comas would work on the vampiric,” Bon Bon mutters.
“And where is Pinkie Pie now?” asks Octavia.
“She tunneled away because she thought we were being mean,” you answer.
“Ah shoot, there goes that idea I just had,” Vinyl grumbles.
“We wouldn’t have been able to let EVERY vampire bite her! She wouldn’t have had enough blood!” you say in disgust.
“Blood?! Who said blood?!” you hear Scootaloo’s voice from outside.
“I think they have blood at Ms. Zecoras!” Sweetie’s voice answered.
“Yay! Blood!” Diamond and Silver’s voice echo out, followed by more chants of blood throughout the woods.
“Ah spit, here we go again,” Bon Bon grits her teeth as she peers through one of the wooden planks over the window she destroyed.
“Hmmph, perhaps we’ll get more assistance from those shadowy creatures,” Octavia says as she prepares her cello.
“I doubt it,” Vinyl says with a sigh.
Yeah, speaking of which, how are things going Bob? You ask telepathically.
It is going well mistress, though around 40% of the town has been turned, we have kept them from finding the others who are hiding. It also helps that most of them are heading towards the woods.
…They’re heading into the forest?! You ask with wide eyes.
Yes mistress.
With a sinking feeling in your gut, you start to sweat.
“Oh boy…” you mutter.
“What is it Nightshade?” Spike asks.
“They’re heading this way,” you answer and look to Twilight and Zecora. “You might want to hurry up.”
“We’re trying my student!” Twilight says as Lyra dumps a bottle of something on Rainbow’s head.
“Agh! I can smell the sugar in that! Get it away!” Rainbow whimpers.
“Well this one was a dud,” Lyra shrugs, tossing the empty bottle away.
“That was my stash of exotic honey…you all are going to owe me lots of money,” Zecora shakes her head as she pours some powder on the vampire.
“Achoo!” Rainbow sneezes, but otherwise, her features do not change.
“Honk Blarg!” Crackle says worriedly from one of the boarded up windows.
“Yes, yes, we see them too Crack,” Vinyl affirms as more and more glowing eyes light up the darkness outside.
“Honk, Honk, HONK!” Crackle emphasizes and Ember raises a brow.
“What do you mean by different eyes?”
Suddenly, several howls fill the air shaking the cabin.
“Hey, that sounds like timber wolves,” you conclude as you walk to a slat and peer out. “Although, I doubt these are the kind that can talk.”
“Timberwolves can’t talk, they’re just plant creatures,” Octavia argues.
“You’d be surprised,” you disagree. Sure enough, through your slot, you see a pack of the wooden abominations rush out towards the gathering vampires.
“EEEEE!!!” several shriek and fly into the trees to avoid their gnashing jaws.
“Huh, well that’s a nice little time saver,” Grandbuggy chuckles as one of the wolves dangles from the shrieking Caramel vamp’s tail and won’t let go.
“It makes sense really. Vampire’s main rivals are wolves after all. Those these aren’t lycanthropes…but still.”
“And that’s the problem, they’re not lycanthropes,” Bon Bon scowls. “Which means those dogs don’t stand a chance.”
As if on cue, yelps are heard within the trees, and the shattering of wood.
“Blegh! This blood tastes like sap!” Bulk yells.
“Because it is sap Bulky,” Aloe points out.
“And it’s not even Apple flavored sap! Gross!” Applejack shouts.
“…Well, at least they’re occupied right?” Octavia says optimistically.
*ZAP* *ZAP* *ZAP*
“Tee hee! You’re not real animals, so I have nothing to feel guilty about!” Flutterbat cackles as she uses your Dark Cannon again and again.
“…If we solve this, she’s probably gonna go catatonic for a week,” Spike says with worry.
“Well that’s just Future Shy’s problem isn’t it?!” you spit, angry that someone else is playing with one of your toys.
“Speaking of which, maybe we could use some other kind of Everfree beasts to help us,” Vinyl suggests.
“Like what?” Grandbuggy asks.
“I don’t know, something,” she shrugs. “I mean, isn’t there a Ursa Major and Minor still out he-“
“NOP! Nope, nope, Nope! We’re not using the giant bears!” you stamp your hoof down as unpleasant memories come back to you.
“She’s right. Besides, those would just be overkill. A major once attacked my Dad and gave him that scar across his eye,” Ember shudders.
“Honk?” Crackle speaks up and Bon Bon looks at her incredulously.
“…Are you serious?”
“Blarg?”
“Crackle, those are just movies. Zombies, unlike vampires, aren’t real.”
“Zombies?!” both Ahuizotl and Daring Do echo from the other room before they both burst forth looking frightened.
“Who’s talking about zombies?!” Ahuizotl shouts.
“Because if they’ve showed up, we’re even more screwed than we were before!” Daring Do shrieks.
“There aren’t any zombies! Calm down,” Grandbuggy rolls his eyes.
“Oh thank goodness,” Daring says, clutching her heart and leaning against Ahuizotl.
“You gave us a scare their compadres,” Ahuizotl also sighs.
“Oh yeah, you’re perfectly safe, except, you know, the monsters outside trying to turn us!” Bon Bon facehooves.
“Yeah, and besides, zombies wouldn’t be able to win against vampires anyway,” you add.
“Don’t be so sure kiddo. A zombie virus would be able to infect a vampire who drinks blood,” Vinyl argues.
“But they’re both undead, wouldn’t that cancel it out?” Spike interjects.
“Depends on what kind of zombie you are talking about,” Ahuizotl speaks up.
“I mean, with swarm tactics, they’d probably rip the vamps limb from limb…but the blood suckers do have enhanced strength,” Daring Do ponders.
“Ugh! Can we stop arguing about this!” Octavia shouts. “We’re still in the middle of this!”
“Oh, right,” you say as you turn your attention back to the Timberwolf and Vampire fight.
“Hmm, at least the wolves aren’t giving up,” Ember says.
“ROAD ROLLER!!!” Batamel suddenly yells out, as suddenly a whole pack of the timberwolves are crushed by a road roller, and he laughs triumphantly atop of it.
“What in the buck?” you say slowly as he proceeds to start punching the piece of machinery while yelling,
“Muda Muda Muda!”
“Oh la la, Caramel,” you hear Aloe titter.
“Hey! I can do that too! YEAH!!!” Bulk then jumps up and starts punching the construction equipment as well.
You all stare at this scene in exasperation, until Vinyl breaks the silence.
“You know Shade, without your old man around, the insanity must be spreading just to keep the balance.”
“…It does seem that way doesn’t it?” you agree after a moment of thought.
The timberwolves now realize that they’ve bitten off more than they can chew and retreat, leaving all the creatures of the night to focus their attention on Zecora’s hut.
“Alright, before we go in there, just be aware there’s ponies in there with sound weapons,” Greta instructs the others.
“And also three dragons,” Garble adds.
“You freaking sell outs!” you shout out the window.
“Oh, and also our savior and mistress, don’t forget.” Flutterbat says. “By her command, we don’t eat anypony, just drink and turn them.”
“I NEVER SAID TH-“ you start, but are interrupted as they all cheer and descend on the hut.
“Buck!” you growl and get away from the window as the Horde members start sending out sonic waves.
“How we doing brainy crowd? Any good news?” Grandbuggy asks nervously.
“I believe so!” Twilight says with a smile. “My earlier theory about this being related to our hypnotizing of the vampire bats holds some water now. There’s trace amounts of my initial charm here on Rainbow Dash.”
“Wait, so you’re the one who started this Twilight?” Lyra asks in surprise.
“I…I guess so?” she shrugs. “I mean, I have no idea how this would have even happened. No dark magic is used at all in this spell.”
“So this isn’t a traditional Vampiric curse then,” Bon Bon exposits before fire a shot of holy water into Bulk’s face.
“NAAAAAHHHHH!!!” he cries out.
“Apparently not, so the cure might be, that Twilight must simply remove the charm effect…possibly.”
“Well hurry up and do it then!” Daring Do orders.
“I am, I am!” Twilight huffs as she concentrates and points her horn at Rainbow. After a moment, that same hue she used earlier on the bats envolops the speedster…but nothing happens.
“Oh, that was tingly,” Rainbow giggles. “Actually, you know what, maybe if I had a nibble of one of your hooves, the salt in the blood could wash out the sweetness in my m-“
“AGH! It didn’t work!” Twilight stomps her hooves in frustration.
“Oh Great! How are we supposed to defeat these Twilight Vampires now?” you complain.
“I mean, even these Twilight Vampires are weak to garlic and stuff, can’t we just wait till morning?” Vinyl ask just as Berry Punch punches her head through the wall and tries to bite at her.
“That doesn’t seem feasible,” Lyra gulps as she plays her harp, causing the mare to shriek and retreat. “These Twilight Vampires aren’t giving up.”
“Agh! More Twilight Vampires coming in from the south!” Spike says from one of the upper windows.
“Will you please stop calling them that? It’s making me feel uncomfortable,” Twilight pleads with sad eyes, but is ignored.
“There’s gotta be another way to undo this. I mean, your magic caused this after all!” Ember points out and the unicorn starts hyperventilating.
“Yes, but there’s only trace amounts on Rainbow Dash. If we could find one that had the highest amount, then perhaps I could work on something, but…”
“So what you’re saying is, that if we start with patient Zero, there might be a chance?” Bon Bon asks.
“Maybe?” Twilight guesses.
“Okay, who was the first vampire?” asks Daring.
“Fluttershy was,” you say with certainty, just as she blasts a hole through one of Zecora’s walls. “But the bats were too weren’t they?”
Suddenly Twilight’s eyes widen in understanding.
“That’s it!” she shouts. “The spell didn’t work on Rainbow because the Vampire Bats weren’t around!” She then looks at all of you with hope. “If we can get everypony back into the Apple fields and near the bats, I could undo all of this!”
“That’s kind of going to be hard,” you point out, just as Cheerilee’s hooves grab hold of Grandbuggy and yank him out.
“YAGH!” he screams.
“Grandbuggy!” you shout and are about to dive after him, but Ahuizotl holds you back.
“No, wait. The idiota’s got this,” he says.
“Are you crazy?! They’re going to turn my Great Grandbuggy into-“
“Ouch!” Cheerilee yelps, followed by Grandbuggy’s laugh.
“What, you don’t know how to bite someone properly? Didn’t Big Mac teach ya nothing darling?”
“What are you doing?” Lilly asks.
“His skin’s a lot harder than it looks,” Cheerilee answers.
“Let me try. Yowch! My fang!” Lily yelps.
“Well if my skin’s too hard, I got something else for you to suck,” he insinuates.
“What?!”
“Oh you old-EEE!” Daisy shrieks. “He just bit ME!”
“What, you’re the only ones that get to have fun?” Grandbuggy laughs.
“Oh forget this!” Cheerilee shouts, before suddenly Grandbuggy comes flying through the hole and crashes into a table.
“Heh, next time don’t try to out kink a guy with years of experience girlies!” he threatens with a smirk.
“…And this is the stallion who raised Baker?” Octavia says worriedly.
“Eyup,” you facehoof.
“Yeesh, no wonder the guy’s so reserved. He had to compensate for Casanova here,” Lyra cringes.
“Hey, who’s not a vampire right at this moment? Hmm?” Grandbuggy says smugly and noling answers. “That’s what I thought.”
But in that hubris, you all are damned as multiple vamps breach several areas, causing the musicians to work overtime.
“Not like this!” Spike yelps, as he suddenly grabs Twilight by the head and points her horn at Blossomforth.
“Spike! What are you-“
He then starts yanking on Twilight’s tail, which causes her to start shooting out bolts of magic.
“AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!” Spike yells as he shoots Twilight missiles at the Twilight Vampires.
“Hey, that’s pretty cool. Where’d you learn that?” you ask as you send a magic missile at Mayor Mare.
“Pinkie Pie,” he says plainly, before he keeps yelling again.
“I hate how everypony can seemingly do this to me!” Twilight complains as she is used like a gun.
“Alright, if you can solve this, then we’ll buy you some time!” Bon Bon says to your group.
“We will?” Vinyl gapes, only to be hit upside the head by Octavia.
“Yes!” she says.
“Honk Honk!” Crackle nods, before back kicking a vamp out of the way.
“Go into my basement, and a path you will find. Stop this madness, before we run out of time!” Zecora implores as she starts chucking potions.
“Whelp, good enough for me!” Ember says as she darts downstairs.
“Seconded!” Daring shouts and follows suit, followed by the others.
“What are you waiting for, go!” Lyra implores.
“Don’t worry, we’ll solve this!” you promise as you follow Twilight and Spike into the basement.
“Alright! Time to drop the bass!” Vinyl shouts as she cranks her speakers up to 11. And as your group travels through Zecora’s secret tunnel, the earth starts to rumble as Wubs permeate through the earth, and distant Vampire screeches are heard.
“Does anyone else feel kind of bad that we just sort of left them there?” asks Spike.
“Yeah,” you nod with a frown.
“They did tell us to go though,” Grandbuggy points out.
“Although they did have the best weapons against these things,” Ember nods.
“I agree, they should have given me some hot salty blood to cure me of this horrible sweetness!” Rainbow complains, bound up backpack style on Ahuizotl’s back.
“Rainbow, you don’t get a say in this!” Twilight growls as yet another wub wave shakes the tunnel and the vampire winces. “Ohh, I hope we can solve this soon. I can’t bear the thought that I caused all of this.”
“You’ll get used to it Sparkle, just keep your head in the game,” Daring Do encourages. “I’ve used this tunnel before, and it’s a straight shot back towards the Apple farm.”
“Anything dangerous live in them?” asks Ahuizotl.
“Nothing too horrible,” she reassures, just as another wub hits and a section of muddied wall collapses…and several large, rocky reptiles spill out.
“AGH!” Spike yells out as one snaps at him.
“Oh for pete’s sake, Cragodiles again?!” you huff and send a missile into it’s maw.
“Quick Nightshade, do the thing like last time!” Ember encourages as she kicks one in the face.
“No! I’m not losing control gorramnit!” you curse as you Earth bend one into a wall.
“Oh, nothing too dangerous huh?” Ahuizotl complains, hands on his hips.
“I didn’t know about these!” Daring hisses. “And you’re one to talk, you use these lizards all the time!”
“Not lately! You know how unruly it is to train an apex predator? That’s why I stick with my cats now.”
“Oh, you’re cats that always try to eat me!”
“They just like to cuddle with you, you’re the one who keeps hurting them!”
“Oh, excuse me for my-YAGH!” she cries out as a cragodile snaps onto her tail and starts dragging her away.
“DARING!” Ahuizotl shouts, before diving onto the offending reptile. A scuffle then ensues, before he pops back out, with scratches on his body, holding the pegasus in his arms.
“Are you alright?” he huffs.
“Uh…yeah,” she says breathlessly, shaking.
“Thank goodness,” he sighs.
“Hey…Ahuizotl,” she questions hesitantly.
“Y-Yes?” he gasps.
“Why am I tied up?” she asks, gesturing towards her strung up form.
“Oh…Uh…force of habit,” he says with a blush.
“…Clearly,” she says with her own blush.
“Enough with your bondage fetish Ahuizotl, just tell her how you feel,” Grandbuggy admonishes.
“Can we talk about this later?! Like when Cragodiles aren’t trying to eat us?!” you implore.
“Of course! I, uh…Let’s go,” he says as he dashes past some more reptiles and Rainbow squees on his back.
“Oh my gosh, this is the best day ever! Seriously, now you two can join Aloe’s club and-“
“Shut Up Rainbow!” you shout and throw and apple at her head, which she snatches and consumes.
Later
After escaping the cragodiles and traversing the woods, you finally reach the Apple Fields again, though you do have a close call you come across a group of black clad individuals who you assume are vampires, smoking and leaning against a fence.
“Spike, give me the garlic bread,” you whisper and he does so. With an expert throw, you strike one of them in the head with the bread…but it does nothing.
“What?!” you say in alarm, as the smoking young stallion just looks at the offending bread and frown.
“Ugh, corporate commissioned bread products. What a bucking pain.”
“I know right?” says a young mare with dark makeup on. “Schilling even in the middle of the night.”
“Life is pain, but they’re more of a pain, trying to make the unwashed masses happy with their “tasty” treats,” another black clad stallion monotones, letting out a puff of smoke.
“…I think those might be a different breed of vampire,” Spike says.
“No, they’re just whiny teenagers,” Grandbuggy corrects.
“But it’s like, 4 in the morning, what are they doing out here smoking?” you ask in puzzlement.
“I just said, they’re teenagers,” Grandbuggy repeats before waving you all past the cringy individuals.
A few rows in however, you hear the screams of those teens, and realize the vamps have gotten them.
“Hmmph, serves them right for hating on garlic bread,” you say coldly.
“Alright, all we have to do is find the bat swarm, and then wait for the infected to find us and-“ Twilight starts but is interrupted as Flutterbat superhero lands in front of your group.
“Oho, you’re looking for my bat friends are you? I’m afraid I can’t let you do that Twilight,” she says with a fanged smile.
“Fluttershy! Please! This isn’t right!” Twilight begs and she scowl.
“Neither was brainwashing those poor hungry bats…but that’s okay. It helped me to become a much better version of myself,” she says as more of the blood suckers land in the trees, some of them eating the fruit. “Much better versions of ourselves…”
“You do know that’s bullspit right?” you interject. “I mean, you won’t ever be able to go out in the sunlight again.”
“Not to mention a diet of nothing but Apples and Blood is going to be Tartarus on all your plumbing bills,” Grandbuggy adds and everyone looks at him strangely. “You’ll see.”
“Right…Anyway Twilight, it’s time for you to join the family,” she says as she starts to menacingly walk towards the alicorn.
“Yeah, we’re not going to let that happen,” you threaten as you stand in front of her.
“Nightshade?” Twilight gasps but you continue.
“She’s the only one who can cure you guys, so if you want her, you’re going to have to go through me,” you say as you take out your Power Pole.
“And me, ya dang she devil,” Grandbuggy nods as he steps forward too.
“And I as well Vampiro,” Ahuizotl says, still holding the tied up Daring and Dash.
“I, uh…I’d like to live actually,” Ember says shakily.
“Hey Fluttershy, I’m still team blood, but I’m kind of weak. Friendly warning, DON’T BITE PINKIE PIE!” Rainbat screeches.
“Hmmm, so you want to test my will Nightshade? Oh…if I win can I have a taste of your bl-“
“NO!” you declare, your eyes glowing a tad.
“Everypony…I’m sorry that I created this whole mess,” Twilight apologizes and you feel a pang of guilt.
“Don’t worry Ms. Twilight, this battle is going to be epic and hard on us, but we won’t let them-“
“Hey Twilight! I found all the bats!” Pinkie’s voice suddenly cuts through the air. Walking down the middle of you and the enemy vamps, the pink psycho is leading a procession of the flying rats like a parade and she is dressed like a cop.
“Pinkie? How…What?”
“I have my ways,” she winks. “Also, still nothing wrong with my diet!”
“…And just like that the mood is kind of spoiled,” Grandbuggy says disappointed.
“Yeah…it feels like all the epicness and seriousness just got sucked out,” you frown.
“I know what you mean. Kind of a killjoy on the whole fighting for glorious blood high I had,” Flutterbat sighs.
“I guess we could do it still…but it wouldn’t be the same,” Applebat grumbles, and you notice a beat up looking Raribat on her back.
“Well either way, got your bats you needed in true Deus Ex Machina fashion,” Pinkie smiles before waving at the tied up Rainbow. “Hi again Dashie.”
“Oh Celestia! Keep her away!” she cries and starts to struggle uselessly.
Kichi’s Comment
Ello Calebero’s Comment
“Alright, this is getting too stupid, even for me. Twilight, do the thing,” you order and she nods.
“Right, but I need to make sure they are still and not going to dive bomb me. Give me a moment to prepare,” she says as she starts mutter equations under her breath.
“Oh come on now Twilight, just join us,” Fluttershy pleads.
“Join us…Join us…” the chorus of all the other vampires chime in.
“Dude, that’s creepy,” Spike shudders.
“No! I have a solution to all of this!” Twilight exclaims. “I’ll now be able to heal you all.”
"But Darling, we don't want to be healed,” Rairibat answers unironically despite being bruised up. “I mean sure, feasting on our fellow ponies takes some getting used to, and Princess Celestia would surely burn us to ash, but it’s magnificent.”
“Wh-What? Celestia would never do that!” Twilight defends.
“The buck she wouldn’t,” you play devil’s advocate and she looks taken aback. “Sunlight powers, remember?”
“Oh…well still she wouldn’t intentionally do it!” she corrects.
“Sure she would Twilight. We’re creatures of the night now,” Flutterbat smiles. “She would treat us like Nightmare Moon, even though we’re much better than her.”
“Hey now, let’s not go throwing out accusations like that,” you defend your mothers honor.
“But it’s true,” Aloe argues. “Each one of us would make for a better mistress of the night, especially for your father if he is willing to take concubines.”
“Concu-What?” you ask confused.
“Ooh, there’s an idea,” Fluttershy nods. “Though I like the idea of multiple couples being involved and-“
“Fluttershy!” Twilight exclaims with a blush.
“No seriously, what’s that coconut thing they’re talking about?” you asks.
“A concubine is a sanctioned secondary wife by a married couple. Although the process has died out in most countries, it’s still practiced in some areas of Saddle Arabia, where one stallion can have many different partners,” Sweetiebat says while hanging upside down from a tree.
“Oh…thanks Sweetie,” you say, perturbed that despite being a monster now, she still has her strange encyclopedic knowledge of random words. “But anyway, forget that weirdness already you hussies!”
“Oooh, such sharp language,” Rairibat says while fainting dramatically.
“Okay, leaving aside all of your base urges, why are you rejecting my help? Aren’t we friends?” Twilight asks sadly.
“Of course we’re friends, that’s why we’re doing this so that we can all be together,” Flutterbat smiles.
“That and we kind of have to build our numbers to defend against the princesses and any annoying hunters,” Applejack interjects.
“…Yes, that too,” Fluttershy nods. “But come now Twilight, let us at least share this gift with you, and with your help we can figure out how to share it with Pinkie Pie as well. You’re our friends, and friendship is magic remember?”
“I…” Twilight stammers as her own philosophy is thrown back in her face.
“Now wait one bucking minute here, that’s the most hypocritical thing I’ve ever heard!” you shout and Flutterbat who looks taken aback.
“Huh?”
“True, friendship is all about sharing and caring and what not, but you can’t just blackmail your friends into something they don’t want to do! I mean for crying out loud, you’ve all been hunting us all night, transforming everyone into vamponies, vampdragons and whatever else, and you didn’t even ask permission! Stop trying to justify forcing your views on someone!”
“Oh gee, it’s not like I don’t know exactly how that feels from earlier,” she deadpans sarcastically, but you continue.
“Exactly! And if there’s something I’ve learned from Ms. Twilight, it’s that friendship shouldn’t be forced. It’s something that should be given and accepted mutually. The 'Honest' thing to do is to accept that maybe someone doesn’t want to become an undead fiend. 'Generosity' is not about forcing a gift that someone doesn’t want, the 'Kind' thing to do is not to drink your friends when they say no, being 'Loyal' doesn’t mean making everypony the same with the same goal, and all that cruel 'Laughing' you do as others scream and cry is just counter intuitive! Friendship IS Magic, but this bullspit sure as buck ain’t!” you growl, and surprisingly your little monologue has captured all of their attentions.
“Oh dear…” Fluttershy says with wilted ears. “Maybe we have been-“
“NOW!” you shout to Twilgiht who releases the spell she’s been building up to, and her magic pulses out, ensnaring every single vampire.
“WWWWRRRRYYYY!!!” they all screech in unison, causing you all to hold your hooves to your ears, but Twilight has them. She’s sweating profusely and her eyes are clenched shut, but she has them.
“There! I just need to…. Concentrate!” she says through gritted teeth while many of the vamps struggle.
“That’s it, keep it up girlie!” Grandbuggy encourages while the others crowd around her protectively, just in case.
“Hey! I think it’s working! They’re starting to smoke,” Ember says enthusiastically pointing towards some of the ponies in the trees.
“Uhhh, I don’t think that’s it,” Spike gulps as he taps you on the shoulder and points at the sky. The second you look up, you pale. You didn’t notice it before thanks to Twilight’s redish hue of magic, but the sky is redish and orange for a different reason.
WARGAMES’s Comment
“BUCK! The Sun’s coming up!” you shriek as you notice more and more sizzling vampires in Twilight’s hold, including Greta and Garble.
“Hurry Senorita! Hurry!” Ahuizotl orders Twilight.
“Yes! Before this becomes a ghost town!” Daring joins in.
“I’m-Grr-I’m trying as fast as I can!” she struggles as her horn lights up like a Hearth’s Warming tree.
“Grr, stupid ponies and their regulating the astral bodies with magic! Why can’t they be like all the other planets in the Universe?!” Grandbuggy spits in frustration and you begin to sweat.
“Nightshade!” Spike says suddenly. “You can stop this right?!”
“Huh?”
“You messed with the moon before, but what about the sun?!” he urges and you just stare at him dumbly for a second before you curse yourself for not thinking of that.
“Well, I’ll certainly try!” you declare as you fly off into the air and stare down the rising ball of gas with disdain as your eyes and shards begin to glow. Reaching out with your power, you grasp the sun, and find it heavier than you were expecting. Gritting your teeth, you shout,
“Would You Kindly Hit The Snooze Button?!”
In Canterlot
Princess Celstia stands on her balcony, humming a happy little tune as she begins to raise the sun and start another beautiful day…when suddenly it feels like someone tugs on a rope she didn’t know she had around herself, and the Sun dips back down.
“What in the-?” she blathers before lighting up her horn even more intensely. The sun starts to peak again above the horizon, but once more that force wrestles control from her and tugs it back down.
“LUNA! What in Equestria are you doing! This isn’t funny!” she yells to her sister on her own tower balcony who just looks confused.
“What do you mean, what am I doing?!” she shouts back.
“Quit messing with the sun and let me raise it!”
“I’m doing no such thing! My horn isn’t even lit up!” she shouts back.
“Wait, if you’re not doing this then…” Suddenly the princess’s eyes narrow in anger. “Nightmare Moon!” she spits.
Back With You
Celestia sure is a pain and keeps fighting your control of the giant fiery ball, and while you feel a connection and kinship to the moon, holding onto this orb is tiresome.
“Hurry the buck up!” you shout down to the oblivious Twilight who is too preoccupied with her own spell.
The peaks up once more, singeing off some of Thunderlane’s mane, but with a push of effort, you slam it back down.
“YEAGGGHHH!!!” Twilight yells, and suddenly her magic surrounding the vampires shines bight white and ripples outward, knocking you out of your concentration.
“WAGH!” you yelp as you tumble, head over hooves into a tree and the Sun springs up much further than the horizon now that your hold has faltered.
Panicking slightly, you lift your head from the bushes to the vampires…and see that no one is bursting into flame. Rather, all of their batwings, bat ears and fangs have receded, and many are groaning a lot.
“Ohhh, what happened?” many of them ask as they get their bearings.
“Why does my mouth taste coppery?” others say as they shake their heads.
Twilight herself is panting and half awake on the ground with a smile.
“Yay, I did it,” she half cheers before closing her eyes and passing out.
“Uhhh, what happened?” asks the now normalized Greta and Garble (who’s still short).
“We’ll explain later,” Grandbuggy says before smirking. “But for now, it looks like our work here is done.”
“But you didn’t do anything,” Daring Do points out. Still smirking, Grandbuggy just walks away heroically.
Mistress, the morning has come. Our job is complete. We will now return to the darkness till you need us, Bob’s voice says in your head and you sigh in relief.
And as you sit in your tree, watching all of this, Spike walks up to your plant and looks up.
“Hey, good job Nightshade, that was really awesome!” he congratulates and you smirk.
“Thanks…I think I’m just gonna take a nap now.” And with that, you close your eyes and let dreamland come to you, and who could blame you? Ever since getting woken up early by Applejack yelling, you haven’t slept a wink.
Back in the (Relative) Present
“I still can’t believe I missed out on all the vampire shenanigans,” Applebloom pouts as you all sit on the train to the Crystal Empire.
“Trust me, you didn’t miss much,” Sweetie Belle says with a shudder.
“I still don’t remember anything, but after I woke up I had a huge headache and Berry Punch gave me a drink to help ease the pain,” Scootaloo says with a frown.
“It was terrifying to say the least, but like always, Nightshade saved the day,” Spike praises and claps your shoulder, causing you to blush.
“H-Hey now, I don’t ALWAYS save the day. Besides, I was kind of partially responsible for the whole mess,” you say with wilted ears.
“Yeah, but Twilight still doesn’t have to know that,” he smiles conspiratorially.
After the vampirism was cured, there was a lot of pandemonium, and a lot of sick ponies who still had undigested blood in their stomachs, but after the initial panic and blame game of Nightmare Moon, Twilight and her friends took the blame. They apologized profusely to the very confused Fluttershy, who like many of the turned had no recollection of their undead period. To make up for the mess, Applejack cordoned off a special area of her fields for the vampire bats who had also been returned to normal. And after finally getting your rest, Granny Smith, Big Mac and Applebloom returned from Appleloosa, understandable confused by the story presented and devastated by the loss of their giant prize winning apple, and quite a few drained fields.
But after that, life went on, like it always did in Ponyville, and you still have so many memories of your three months there.
“I still don’t understand why Discord didn’t just solve everything. Doesn’t he care about Fluttershy?” asks Applebloom and you frown, remembering the shenanigans he pulled when Cadence arrived.
“According to him, he ‘didn’t want to fall into temptation from a lady and an apple because that was too cliché and done before’…whatever that means,” you sigh as you look out the window.
“Are you still sore about that giant worm thing?” Spike asks.
“Of course I’m still sore about the giant worm thing!” you grunt.
“Wait, what giant worm thing?” asks Diamond Tiara as she and Silver Spoon return with snacks.
“The Tatzlworm I decked in the mouths?” you remind, but they just stare at you blankly.
“When was this?” Silver asks like she hasn’t heard the tale…and maybe she hasn’t.
“Oh well it’s when Cadence came around,” you explain. “It was a little while before that creepy hipster douche was stalking Applejack.”
“Wait, was that before or after that weird ol’ party pony came to town?”
“After,” Applebloom says. “I know because it was after that road trip we took with Pinkie Pie.”
“Oh right, and then Rarity lost her mind and started turning the town all shiny,” Scootaloo adds and Spike chuckles nervously.
“I think we might be jumbling a few things,” Sweetie Belle points out and you shrug.
“Well, we’ve still got a ways to go before the Empire,” you say before launching into another narrative. “So, after I woke up and everyone got their stomachs pumped and stuff, Sweetie’s sister and the others went to Manehattan…”
And you proceed to give a run down, which we will get back to in due time.
In The Human World
POV CHANGE: Bugze
You sit on the couch in Humbra’s living room, with the Dazzlings, B2, Luna, and Humbra spread around the place.
“Why are you always holding these meetings at my place! This mobile home isn’t meant for large crowds!” the bald human complains.
“Because you have the best snacks,” Sonata giggles as she stuffs her face with some cheese puffs.
“Also we kind of live in an abandoned library so…” B2 trails and Humbra sighs.
“I still don’t see why we couldn’t have had this at my house,” Luna speaks up. “My sister is currently at school, along with all the other students you’ve roped into this mess.”
“Hey…that’s fair, and I wish I’d thought of that,” you say truthfully.
“Also, why aren’t these three in school?” she gestures towards the Dazzlings.
“Because we’re too cool for school,” Adagio smirks and Aria rolls her eyes.
“Also, we’re not exactly human, so we don’t want to learn human things,” Aria adds.
“Nor should you, they’ll rot your brain,” you agree.
Hey! Sombra says in offense.
You used to be a dangerous, ever present threat and now you yip around like a rabid fanboy, Selena points out and he pauses.
…I’m still an everpresent threat, he pouts and you roll your eyes.
Sure you are buddy, sure you are, you demean and he grumbles more.
“But anyway, while everling’s busy learning and stuff, we have time to figure out the next phase in our plan to defeat Midnight,” you say aloud.
“Right,” B2 nods. “And what is that?”
“…I honestly have no bucking clue,” you admit. “Now that she’s got that magic prototype dohicky, there’s no telling what she’ll do with it. So…I’m open to suggestions.”
WHAT DO YOU DO?
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Twilight will probably start looking for a new lab.
And considering that they nearly ripped the fabric of time and space recently.
She'll most likely be looking for something more secluded, more fortified, and higher-tech.
Being just a highschooler, she wouldn't have money for these things.
They should be checking the news for robberies of a fantastical, illogical, or mission impossible in nature.
As well as places or objects that could be obtained with magic added to her great intellect. Treasure maps, sunken ships, unreachable locations etc.
Let us not forget that twilight first and foremost is a scientist. Even with substandard equipment, she should be able to run some rudimentary tests to figure out how magic reacts with the world.
Outlandish grants, nonsensical thesis', ludicrous claims about the universe being published.
Once they have found where the majority of the incidents occur, Find the pattern. This is twilight she probably has been hitting them alphabetically or using b64 code.
If the locations are close to each other; take a page from john snow (I mean the guy who proved that cholera was a water transferred disease look it up) And make a Voronoi diagram. Maybe find a location that is close to all the hit locations.
Finally, the dazzlings have the ability to sense equestrian magic, possibly even pinpoint it. They had to find the source somehow, it's not like the were wandering through the city for hours on end. *wink wink
Split up find the locations, confirm the locations, gear up, and TAKE TWILIGHT DOWN!
Or maybe she'll just go to a casino and cheat using magic
___________________
And with that I bid you adeu
"Okay, we need suggestion asap" Bugzee look at the others
"If you had magic and wanted to get rich, what could you do?" Asked Humbra to the Dazzlings
"Take away Fort Knox?" Suggest Aria
"Fort what?" Ask Bugzee as Sunset whisper to Bugzee about it
"Not a bad idea but she could call too much the attention" Comment B2
"After what happened the other day when she appeared in television? Humans are stupid enough to not suspect anything" Comment Aria
"Okay... That is one idea... And I can't believe gold and gems are that valuable here, if I knew it I could had taken a bag full" Say Bugzee as Sunset nod with the head and look down.
"Even so... It could be hard to just sell bags of gold, is true that if magic is around people look at the other side but gold is controlled, a little gold is nothing but they will watch for someone sending tons of gold, unless you sell it undervalue in some black market or manage to melt it" Say Humbra as the others look at him
"What?" The others negate with the head and continue thinking
"Maybe she could steal from bad guys like a Dark Hero?" Ask Sonata
"I don't think so..." Say Sunset as they look at her
"We are looking too big, sure, she could do that, but if her situation is like mine, she will be mostly focused on her main objectives and don't think about lose time in small things... For now, her main objective is to study magic" Comment Sunset
"Should we really do something?" Ask Adagio as the others look at her
"What? evil sirens that like to create fight and were banished here, remember? Heck, she could be our ticket to return to Equestria" Say Adagio
"Well... It's true" Comment Aria
"But at what cost? Did you forgot everything that happened? Or how she almost killed?" Ask Bugzee
"Well... She is not really wrong..." Comment Sunset
"Say, what!?" Ask Bugzee and the others minus the sirens
"Well, In Equestria they have the element of harmony, Celestia and Luna... What could go wrong?" Ask Sunset
"If we go to that, I doubt she will try anything highly illegal, while she is drunk in power I can understand her position enough to know that she still have a human side... Sure, what she did is wrong and she wanted to do many evil things, but after the loops? I think we can see that she want magic and where could she find more magic that in Equestria? You win, she win, everyone is happy, right?" Ask Sunset while looking at the others
"What about her family? What about her victims?" Ask Bugzee
"What victims? Sure, there was some damage but until now she did not kill anyone and don't seem to plan to kill anyone, and her family I doubt will be too worried, I did not notice during the visit, but is obvious that as long as Twilight still give a A+ they will not worry, by the time they notice something wrong if they notice something wrong it could be too late, it's obvious she was alone Bugze, just like me..." Sunset look down
"What do you mean you are alone?" Ask Bugzee a little worried.
"Because I can see a little of myself in her... I was the student of Princess Celestia, remember? But I could not have enough, even with all the nobles and the Princess saying how great I was, it was not enough and betrayed her for power only to end in this world and yet that did not stop me, if it was not for Princess Twilight I don't know where I could be... But the thing is, we don't have friends, and from what I could guess, you don't have many friends" Comment Sunset
"What? What about the evil five... I mean, the girls you were before? Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and the others... Are they not your friends?" Ask Bugzee
"Are they? After everything I did to them... Are they my friends? Or are they my friends just because Princess Twilight asked them? A princess that decided to leave without any form of contact after she managed to recover the element of magic..." Sunset shocked the head to get her toughs together
"Look, that is not important... I can more or less guess what is in her head, and for now, the most important for her is to get to Equestria somehow" Say Sunset as she look at everyone
Quick little thing, I'll comment later if I can.
"I'm still trying to get over the fact we were in a time loop that nearly destroyed the universe," Luna said shaking her head. "Is this normal for you?"
"Screaming and running in terror?" Sunset said.
"Fires and destruction everywhere?" Humbra added.
"Crazy out of control magic?" Aria pointed out.
"Random insanity, obscure and blatant references to tv shows, movies, comics, novels, and anime?" B2 said.
"YES." You, Selena and Sombra said at the same time.
"Don't forget he's holding three people in his body instead of one!" Sonata piped up casually drinking a smoothie.
"Right, the other Sombra and half me? How do you handle that?"
"By trying to keep these two from causing more problems. Emphasis on trying." Selena says taking control for a moment.
"OI!" You and Sombra complain.
Speaking of talking, how would human Luna and Selena interact actually?
As you all discuss possible ideas, B2 and Hu-Luna continually act like some lovesick couple from those terrible soap operas Rarity forced you to watch back in the day.
You, personally, don’t mind it that much. After all it’s another version of you that’s finally getting some much deserved happiness in his life after all the crap that has happened to him. So you’re all for it even if it’s a little weird and mildly disturbing since their humans.
The same can not be said for Selena, who as been increasingly getting more aggravated as time went on. You, of course, have no idea why she’s getting upset besides maybe the fact that it’s her opposite being happy.
Since you have no idea how to address this you wisely keep your mouth shut to avoid causing any problems...which in itself causes a problem when B2 and Luna get particularly intimate and Selena starts hitting the Gong like mad.
Needless to say you inadvertently ruined the moment with your sudden spasm as you clutch you’re head in pain from the loud noises. Sombra proves no help in stopping it as he simply laughs his flank off.
Later on during this 10083349 conversion Bugze brings up a few counterpoints to Sunsets argument. Mostly the fact that the Sun princess tends to be a little tigger happy when it comes to dark magic (massive understatement) and considering the fact Human Twi is probably reeking of the stuff since it’s parts of his magic, her popping up in Equestria would only put herself in danger.
Aside from that Bugze does his best to comfort the girl, reconfirming that he’s there for her and that she isn't alone. She’s got the crazy bug on her side, and maybe throw in Sonata adding onto the wholesomeness only to ruin it by saying how Sunset’s practically another sister for her and Bugze’s the dad.
Cue Selena once again trying to adopt Sunset and Bugze trying to restrain the mare of the night.
Finally I’d say we take a page out of 10082410 Book and look for any myths or legends that are nearby that have actual magic backing them. Even better if they are strangely similar to stuff back in Equestria.
Also, the group are interrupted by a news broadcast about string of seemingly random robberies that have been happening for awhile. Objects of both high and low worth have gone missing, and while the others dismiss any chance that Midnight’s involved Bugze can’t help but get a bad feeling about it...
10085329
I kinda imagine it like Virgil from sanders sides
Selena was made out of lunas insecurities about being needed and like anxiety, became her own person and is no longer scary... Well to us
Judging by how she reacted to bugze reforming wanted, she is deeply against that part of her life
And like pony Luna before "do princesses dream of magic sheep" the very concept of Selena would terrify her.
So Luna would probably react to Selena like anyone else would when they hear that the literal embodiment of all her fears is possessing her bandmate's clone from another dimension and could possibly kill her at any moment
10093065
"Stupid human teenager hormones..." Groan Sunset a little after they calmed
"What do you mean?" Ask Bugzee
"It's just that I passed puberty one time as a pony, and let me tell you is not pretty when you are around Celestia and the first idea in your mind is to burn half of Canterlot just to take care of whinny nobles and now I need to be a teenager again" Say Sunset as the others remember what Sunset told them of how she arrived to the world.
"Maybe I should had followed Twilight to the mirror portal and accept whatever punishment princess Celestia put on me" Say Sunset a little sad with melancholy
"No, don't say that... That are the elements of brainwashing talking, don't surrender that easy" Say Bugzee
"Brainwashing? They cured me, if not for them I could be like Twilight at this moment" Comment Sunset Shimmer
"Bah, I could see what the elements did to Luna, and my wife inside my head can give testimony that they are evil" Groan Bugzee only to be interrupted by another voice.
"Now that you comment it, if as you say your wife was a part of Luna that was separated by the elements of Harmony... What happened to Miss Shimmer dark side?" Ask Humbra
"I..." Sunset opened the mouth but there was no answer she could think.
"Great... Just another thing, anyone thinking that it's going to bite us in the ass in the future? You had to open the mouth and tempt Lady Luck" Groan Bugzee as he could feel a headache coming
"Do you really need to ask? With your bad luck there is no doubt" Say Selena inside Bugzee head.
"And if we do the same with Crazy Twilight, then we will have another problem" Say Sombra as Bugzee groan again while the others look confused.