Episode 11: The Almighty Janitor
After bravely fleeing from the evils of public transportation and human teenagers, you arrive at Scruffy’s work area, and unsurprisingly, he is nowhere in sight.
“Great professionalism old man,” you mumble as you grab a spare cap from your locker and and grab the cleaning cart.
“Ok, I can do this. I can do this…” you whisper as you hear the sounds of opening lockers and hundreds of young voices.
“…Maybe I can wait till they’re in class first.”
Bugze, they’re naught but children, Selena says in exasperation.
“And children are the most dangerous of all. Nightshade’s not even a teen yet and I’m more than certain she’s more powerful than all three of us.”
I wholeheartedly agree with that sentiment, Sombra agrees.
As Selena sighs and you hear her facehoof, you come up with a fantastic idea for avoiding the evil teen monkey things for just awhile longer.
Kichi’s Comment
“You know, I haven’t introduced myself to the leaders here. What kind of employee would I be if I didn’t at least speak with them?” you declare as you intentionally steer your cart away from the noisier areas. The only problem is, you have no idea where the faculty offices are.
"Maybe I should have gotten a map" you mutter as you walk the hallways, keeping your eyes down from the slowly trickling in students.
A map would not help you with your poor sense of direction, so I suggest you find some stairs, Sombra insults.
Of course you would suggest that, you roll your eyes as you remember the countless steps in the Crystal Palace.
I was not even conscience during that time, and even I feel they were too much, Selena agrees.
And what is wrong with stairs? They add a nice touch and are perfect for slinkies, counters Sombra a little angrily.
How did you ever conquer the Crystal Empire when all you are is obsessed with toys and mythological creatures? Selena chastises.
Shattering the former monarch tends to help, he growls.
Before another three way mental argument can occur though, you pause and shout,
"Gaaah! Why do all these hallways look the same?! I will starve and die in these hallways, I swear to Luna! Lost forever!"
Thankfully, it being early in the morning works in your favor since none of the bleary eyed students even acknowledge your outburst.
What have we talked about shouting while in public in this world? Selena chides.
Not to do it…you admit ruefully. But seriously all I need is a map! My kingdom for a map!
WhatKingdom? Both Selena and Sombra ask with skepticism.
My metaphorical kingdom of worth that I would give to know where the buck I’m at!
“Umm, excuse me? Do you need help?” comes a voice from behind you.
Oh Gods! One of them is talking to me! You mentally panic as you clear your throat and look down at your cart.
"Umm? Oh, yes, I'm new here, and I was searching for a map to meet my new boss" you say, not looking at the speaker.
“Oh. Well Principal Cinch would be who you’re supposed speak to, but she’s actually meeting with the Superintendent today, so you’ll want to speak with Vice Dean Cadence. Just continue on this hallway, turn right, and it’ll be the third door on your left.”
“Err, thanks kid, big help,” you mutter as you immediately start moving.
“No problem,” she says. As you round the corner, you realize that that voice was shockingly familiar, and you turn around, and see the back of her pony tailed purple and magenta hair.
Holy Crap! That was human Twilight wasn’t it? How did I not immediately pick up on that?
I’m more surprised that you didn’t immediately register who she said the Vice Dean of this academy was, Selena points out.
What? Cadence? I’d already figured her counterpart would be here after running into Human Twilight and Shining, though I figured she would’ve been the head honcho.
Following Twilight’s directions, you come across an office door with Cadance’s full name written on it.
OK, about to see the twisted visage of one of my oldest friends…the last one didn’t go over so well, you think as you rub the scar on your chest.
Verily, Selena agrees with a wince.
Summing up all your courage, you knock on the door.
8BitMadness’s Comment
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"Come in," the very familiar voice comes from behind the office door.
As you enter the office you see the humanized version of Cadence writing something down, and you are surprisingly not as disgusted by her visage as you should be.
Oh sweet Luna no! I’m becoming used to their looks. Smokey’s infected me with his Humanism. THIS IS THE END OF ME! THE END I SWEAR!
Of course this just causes Selena to facepalm before she says,
Calm down my bug. There is probably a logical explanation. Maybe since you know what the pony version of Cadenza looks like, the human version doesn't affect you as much?
Usually you would rebut this with something along the lines of a dumb freak out, but that unnatural sense of calmness and intelligence hits you yet again.
Y-yeah that makes sense. Since I know the real version, I don’t feel like hurling...As much. Yeah that makes sense. Thanks Selly.
With that thought you fully enter the office and Cadance looks up at you, and for the briefest second there's a spark of...recognition (?) in her eyes before it disappears. This, of course, confuses you.
Wait...does B2 know Cadence or something? That doesn't make any sense...unless...
Before you can continue on that thought she speaks up.
"Good morning sir, and you are?" she asks, genuinely curious, and with no hostile intent behind the question.
"My name's Bugze, and Scruffy hired me as the new janitor,” youadmit. “I, uh, kinda don't know the layout of the school yet so I'm a bit lost and was looking for a map," you say, rubbing the back of your head with a cheeky grin on your face. At the mention of being a new janitor, Cadance smiles softly.
"About time he got around to that. Well I suppose that would make me the first to officially welcome you to the staff and faculty! I am Vice Dean Cadenza, but you can call me Cadance. If you didn't already know, all staff have access to the teacher's lounge, including maintenance. I'll have to get your name put on one of the lockers in there. If you ever have stuff you need to leave at school, you can put it in there to keep it safe. Let me get you that map."
As expected, the Cadance of this world is quite kind as well, despite being in business mode. Cadance hands you a map of the school, and it’s very high quality and helpful.
“I hope that helps Mr. Bugze, and I hope your first day will go smoothly,” she says as she reaches her hand out for a handshake.
Wincing slightly, you place your own hand into hers and she shakes it. Even if she’s not as physically disturbing to you as the others, the hand thing still feels gross and wrong.
“Th-Thank you,” you mutter, suppressing a gag. She stares at you searchingly for a few beats, before the professional demeanor returns.
“If you have any questions throughout the day, feel free to ask me, or if I’m not around, my Husband Professor Shining Armor,” she adds letting go of your hand.
“N-No problem,” you say. “Thanks for the help and all. I’ll get to it then boss.” You then salute and walk out the door before letting out a huge pant of breath.
OOF, was that awkward or what?
I found it quite enjoyable, Sombra chuckles at your misfortune.
Yeah, yeah, laugh it up Zamboni, you roll your eyes and stand up straighter. You then look at your surroundings and pale.
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The hallways are full of students, and they are all chatting away noisily. The walls are still dirty from Scruffy’s negligence, and somehow in the time it took these teens to get off the buses and to their classes, they’ve made it dirtier somehow. You stare in awe at the trash littering the ground, the paper air planes drifting down the halls, the spit balls shot from miscreants, and the whole cacophony of noise in shock and awe. Even after the bell rings, and the gaggle of people fill into their classes, you still stare.
Thankfully now that the noise has gone, you have time to think rationally and realize it is now your job to clean up this place. Letting out a sigh, you get to work.
You scrub the walls, you pick up trash, you even help rescue some nerdy looking human from a locker, and he goes running off to class without so much as a thank you.
Working fast, you get the place looking pretty clean and you smile at your accomplishment. Then the bell rings and the students file out to get to their next class, and your hard work gets tarnished. By the time the disgusting humans leave the hallway again, there is more trash to pick up and more stains to clean.
…Is this punishment for my fear of buses? What sick joke is this? You groan and look around you. The cycle repeats itself another 3 times before you decide to take a break and enter a bathroom.
just_another_guy’s Comment
Having walked around the school, you mentally mapped certain areas, such as possible hiding spots, shortcuts, Staff Only Areas (especially staff only), and any others that would come in handy with doing your job. You open up the map Cadance gave you and with a pencil, make crooked x’s on these spots (your penmanship with your new teeth is rather challenging).
Alright, now I have an idea of where to go in an emergency, and have possible places to search for the portal.
Putting the map away, you walk over to the sink and run water over your former hooves and splash some on your face. You sigh and look at your reflection in the mirror.
Still one ugly mother bucker... you think sadly. You hear a toilet flush and a few seconds later there is a yellowish female human with rose and teal hair beside you washing her fingers (shiver) looking at her reflection too.
"Stressful morning?" she asks.
"Yeah..." you moan "first day on the job and this is soul sucking."
"At least janitors get to move more, most of my energy is spent not falling asleep on those damn chairs." She then dries her hands with some paper towels and looks at you.
"Anyway thank God you’re finally around, Now I won’t have to bleach the toilet seat before using it anymore,” she says before walking out the door.
"Bleached toilet seat? That sounds really dan-Wait a minute, was that a she? Am I in the Girl’s Bathroom?" You look around you and see that there are no urinals in sight.
Well that’s a yes. Huh… she didn't call me a creep, weirdo or a pervert? That’s strange.
You are the janitor, you keep the latrines clean so you’re the exception.
Wait really? I have that much power? I can go anywhere and not look suspicious in the slightest? You ask taken aback.
Yep, she answers simply.
You look at your big keychain with all the keys to rooms you can open and smile.
Ohhhh~ where gonna have fun with these. I’ll find that stupid portal in no time.
“I Have The POOOWWWEEERRR!!!” you cheer as you hold your mighty keys aloft. You then put your keys back on your hip and turn around.
“Now, time to clean those toilets!”
LATER
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As you mop the same hall for what you feel like is the eighth time that day you can't help but sigh as you stare at the mass as they move to lunch. The more you’ve seen the teens walking to and from class, the less you’ve seen them as a group of ugly animals, and more as the ugly High Schoolers they are.
Geeze, this is really bringing back bad memories. I'm getting all tense expecting Mongo or someling to jump me.
Now now Bugze, there's no reason to worry. This is a completely different world, I highly doubt you are suddenly going to attack by bullies. Even if you are in a high school, you are the adult now remember?
I know I know, but I can't shake off the feeling, you sigh. Maybe just being in a high school again is messing with me, or maybe cleaning the same hall every period is making me nu-
"HEY! STOP THAT! GIVE THEM BACK!" comes a shout and your head darts to the source. The words all too familiar to you. You head over to where it came from...and see three snotty looking girls surrounding the human Twilight.
“You know you’re not supposed to bring vermin onto school ground right?” mocks the Alpha Bitch as she holds aloft a squirming purple and green puppy while Twilight tries to reach for him.
“Give Spike Back! He hasn’t done anything to you!” she says as the three girls keep holding her back and handing the dog off.
Wait a minute, Spike? You think in confusion. Why’s Spike a dog in this world? Are all dragons dogs? Is Smaug just a giant red dog or something?
“I don’t know, maybe I should just tell the Dean about this right?” the main bully taunts and the puppy whines and Twilight looks about ready to cry.
*SNAP*
Getting flashbacks to your days in the Hive your glare intensifies.
Hello misplaced aggression!
Bugze, you cannot physically assault those students. You will be imprisoned.
Yeah I know, you grind your teeth. But come on, I can’t let this stand! I have to do something!
You look at your cart with your mop and various cleaning supplies and are reminded of the Crimson Knight Leader Grey Rebl, who fought vehemently with janitorial items. Suddenly a light bulb goes off and you smirk as you place your bucket of dirty water onto your cart and charge forward towards the group at breakneck speeds.
“Please, just give me back my pup-“ Twilight pleads, before you shout.
“Whoa! Watch out you three!”
The three bully girls and Twilight look to your shout, as you hit the brakes and “accidentally” let the water fly from your bucket and onto the three.
“OOOHHH!!!” the three shriek as the Spike dog is thrown into the air, where Twilight catches him and he immediately starts licking her face.
“Oops, sorry about that kids, let me help you with that,” you say as you pull out an armful of paper towels and walk towards them, only to “accidentally” trip and cause them all to cover them from head to toe.
Nearby students begin laughing at this display, and frustrated and embarrassed, the three bullies retreat down the hall to the nearest bathroom.
Ha! Take that you snooty little bitches! How’s it feel to be laughed at, spit on and mocked huh? How’d you like the taste of-
Bugze…she’s staring at you, Selena grabs your attention.
Huh? You look towards Human Twilight who’s glasses are eschew and holding the dragon dog to her chest.
“Umm…thank you sir, I really appreciate it,” she thanks you.
“Oh, uhh…don’t worry about it Ms. I’m always accident prone when the situation arises,” you say with a wink. She looks at you even more intently and you start sweating.
Crud, did I overdue it? Will she tell others I did that on purpose? What is she-
“Hey, aren’t you that guy that was shouting in front of the front entrance the other day?” she asks and your eyes widen.
Ohhh…Right…I forgot about that.
That surprises literally no one, Sombra mocks.
Buck off Smokey!
WHAT DO YOU DO?
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you respond
"Yes that absolutely was me I suffer from brief periods of insanity, which can tend to make me shout random things, I also recently got a job here, so you will be seeing me more often. It doesn't help I have two other beings currently inhabiting my head, and in my homeland I am wanted by every major organization and country, also I suffer from PTSD, from falling down stairs."
Twilight's response "Okay (< this is really drawn out), TMI!!!!"
and once again
WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS GET A BIGGER GUN!!!! AND JUST LOB ARTILLARY AT IT UNTIL IT'S DECIMATED.
Oh and at the risk of sounding like a sadist HE NEEDS MORE PUNISHMENT!!!
(actually have him meet and recognize this world's discord and have him go berserk on him and get arrested leading him to the sirens and the artifact he requires)
sorry about the long comment but idea's are ROLLING!!!
Yeah, sorry for not commenting in the past few chapters. Kinda busy with stuff but just know I'm still here reading whenever I get the chance.
I have returned!!! s2.quickmeme.com/img/55/55046e39439cec2bf7f2b47889276caaf1ab1c0e6084f33c5038f966a33ae6ab.jpg
Sorry for not commenting as much! Been taking SATs. Not fun. And time consuming! But I’m back! And ready to comment! So on with the show!
As you nervously stand there you think, “Oh crapbaskets! She saw my ‘totally natural’ freak out when I arrived.”
“And by ‘totally natural’ you mean over the top migraine inducing insanity?” Selena snarked.
“That’s putting it mildly.” Sombra sighed.
“Oi I’m not that crazy...right?” You ponder for a second only to realize you’ve found yourself in another stare off. You stare, human Twilight stares, this goes on for a solid three minutes. Before you can slap yourself Spike decides that enough is enough and jumps out of Twilight’s arms and into yours.
“Gah!” You yell fumbling your arms to catch the dog. Spike then starts to lick your face.
“Get him off. Get him off. Get him off!!” Sombra yells.
“What’s the matter afraid of a dog?” Selena laughs.
“For you’re information this dog is this worlds version of that Welp who kept blasting me with fire! If it weren’t for the situation I’m in I gladly pay him back!”
“Oi lay off or it’s back to druggy town for you.”
As you peel spike off your face, you pet him with your hand to calm him down. “Um good boy?” You say in confusion.
“This feels weird, I’m petting another worlds version of Nightshade’s friend.”
Twilight snaps out of it and grabs him from you,
“Sorry about that. Spike never does that to strangers, he’s only ever done this to me and my family.” Twilight says sheepishly.
“It’s no problem he’s probably saying thanks for helping you.” You say trying to get the dog slobber off your face.
“Hey shouldn’t you be getting to class?” You inquire.
“Oh no I have an off period right now. I was heading to the library when you saved me from those bullies.” Twilight said with a sigh. You feel sorry for her. Having flashbacks to your childhood you feel inclined to help her. “Don’t worry about it, her why don’t we go there together. I need to clean that area anyway.” You say with a smile. Twilight blushes and nervously nods as she leads you to the library.
“Wait was she blushing?” You question.
And that’s all I got. Good to be back y’all!
8857431
I'm going to have to protest against Human Twilight's blushing from evolving into anything past that. Bugze and Twilight may/may not be the same age in Equestria, but the magic mirror de-ages pony Twilight down to high school age. Bugze got dropped in the human world by the Tardis, so I think he's still an adult, hence why he has a job as a janitor. Age difference between him and Sci-Twi is big enough to make it slightly creepy if she starts having anything close to a crush on him. Love everything else though!
8857712
Right right but still I like the idea of human twilight being friends with him. It make a great scene if she met pony twilight and arguing over about bugze being a good guy or not.
8857716
Oh yeah! Totally! I just kind of thought that was a given. I've read the comments of the past and that part was mentioned frequently, so it's more or less going to happen at some point if I know Brown Dog at all.
8857720
Maybe instead she sees him as like a second big brother or something because of how protective he is over her considering she’s in a similar position he was in when he was younger.
"Thank you for saving me but you should not have done it" Comment Twilight as she hold the dog.
"It did not matter, I could not leave you like that..." Say Bugzee taking pride in himself
"No... Really, you should be careful, why do you think no one did anything?" Ask Twilight and Bugzee could notice her not very happy and a little sad.
"Because everyone here are jerks?" Ask Bugzee
"Ummm... Well, Maybe... But they are part of the inter-school group, Crystal Prep is the champion against Canterlot High and..." Began to say Twilight Sparkle
"Let me guess, you always fight against them, you always win, and they let those bullies do whatever you want?" Ask Bugzee
"Ummm... Yeah, how do you know?" Ask Twilight surprised
"Schools are the same, and did not change" Mutter Bugzee as he began to feel a Flashback from the school days but was shocked by Selena to return to reality.
"If you did anything, they could go to Principal Cinch, and she could fire you... While it's good that you helped me... You should not do it again, please" Say Twilight looking at Bugzee with sad eyes.
Bugzee could feel the sad eyes stabbing him, at the same time he began to feel empathy, as he also had experience with bullies, and could not do too much
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8857140
Twilight: so you suffer from Tourette's?
"Yeah that I have tourist'se"
"Tourette's," she corrects
"Thats what I said"
"At least you're not a teacher, can you imagine if one just started cursing and yelling out of nowhere?"
"I don't know, sounds like kids would love that class" you say with a sly smile. "Kids love it when you curse" this reminds you of your little Nightshade. "Just like my baby" you mumble.
"You swear to your kid?!" She asks shocked. Both at the fact you have a kid and the cursing part.
"She uses them in the right context and doesn't say them in EVERY bucking sentence" you counter.
"Okay (<this is twice as drawn out)"
This is something that has been on my chest for a while.
I've been thinking about Bugze learning more common grappling type attacks like full-gaurd, rear naked chock, arm-bar, guillotine, leg-lock. but I can see way many writers don't put them in there story's. There very technical (especially Brazilian jiu-jitsu), and not as flashy or fast paced as a straight up punch or kick to the face. And everyone knows what a punch is, but not everyone knows the difference between a kimura and a omoplata because they don't know what either of them are and what they do (without looking online of course).
[url=https://youtu.be/FpjCntAzEu8 Here's a link for a visual example, of someone who knows how to explain these things better than me.
If there's another fight chapters I don't know if you guys would find it as blood pumping if I where to start commenting things like "after a double leg take down you find yourself in side control, tacking advantage of your opponents dizzyness you grab the arm/forleg that isn't under you and attempt a kimura. Your opponent squirms and jerks under you as you keep applying pressure, trying not to lose the grip. You feel a sudden jerk as his arm/forleg suddenly bends back as you have dislocated his shoulder."
Again, I'm not good at explaining things. I just thought since Lotus put Bugze in a painful position ( I think it was somewhere in season 2) he might be willing to at least learn how to escape and get back to punching.
I can already see him Training hard (*cough*my OC is based on Bas Rutten *cough*) (*cough* the bald one *cough*)
So I was gonna have this big comment adding onto 8857784 comment, but my laptop decided to die on me (curse my lack of attention to battery ratings!?) so all the stuff I typed just went out the window! So instead I'm gonna summarize what I said and hope what I wrote comes back to me.
................................................................
Bugze recognizes those sad eyes Twilight has, and gets flashbacks to his own eyes during his days in the hive. The eyes of a person who is constantly bullied. The eyes of someling who has given up on ever stopping the bulling. The eyes of a person who's been bullied so long that they just accept that its a natural thing that happens to them and there's no point in stopping the bulling. Bugze can't-no won't accept to see those eyes on the alternate version of a pony he's seen overcome obstacle after obstacle (including himself) and who he respects on some level.
Selena tells him to think about what he's about to do, but he ignore her an instead flicks Twilight in the head. He then gives a speech about how bullies don't have any real power and how its only Twilight who gives it to them by letting them get to her. How he went through the same stuff she did (and worse) and how she can't let her sadness take control of her.
He eventually gets to eye level with her and lays a hand on her shoulder as he talks about how she is far better then those bullies on any given day, and how to get back at them isn't to fight but to prove she's better then them on a moral level. Course this doesn't stop him from offering to get a little revenge via showing off his keychain.
He begins to walk away and tells her to come to him if she ever needs help or someone to talk to. As he turns the corner Selena and Sombra (reluctantly) comment on how well he handled that situation. Before Bugze could comment back Twilight catches up and...that's as far as I got....
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Yeah I really wish I didn't lose my original comment, it was pretty cool. For now I'll leave this for anyone to add on to if they want to. Meanwhile I'm gonna see if head force trauma can help remind what I wrote before. If you all can excuse me...*starts hitting head against wall*
I'm still going with my previous answer for chapter 10 (regarding events);
somehow, I have no ideas for this, so I'll just be sitting in the background, watching as always.
I got the strangest feeling that somewhere down the line, Nightshade will have a Gohan turning super sayian 2 moment.
Its probably your tummy rumbling silly!
You’re probably right pinkie. *leaves room*
*pulls out radio* *whispers*BrownDog! DWC! He’s on to us!