“Ahuizotl?! Heeellllooo?!” Cabelleron’s voice echoes through the halls while you sit on the pressure plate in a huff.
“What am I supposed to do about this guy? I know Grandbuggy hates him and all, but what am I supposed to think? I thought Ahuizotl was some big villain, but he’s actually kind of a dork,” you think aloud.
“I’ve found your dining room! There’s food on the table, is this for me?!” the villain calls out.
“Can I even take anything at face value anymore?” you ponder. “Like Daring Do for example…”
“I’m just going to help myself since you’re not answering!” he calls, but you’re still in introspection mode.
TartarusFire’s Comment
“I mean, here’s Daring Do, hero extraordinare, and the only reason I really started reading, and she’s real. Not only that, she’s really just kind of ordinary and kind of manipulative.”
“This is fine dining I must say Ahuizotl! But a guest shouldn’t eat on his own!”
“She tried to trick me into freeing her and I had a net fall on me. A net! If that had been a tiny net, I would have been done for,” you shiver in dread.
“Oh wow, are these homemade tortillas?”
“And really, if Ahuizotl’s personality is changed in the books, what else is changed? Is she really all that heroic, or is that what she just tells A.K. Yearling?” you worry. Really, you have a limited scope of ponies/beings that you look up to, and you thought a fictional Tomb Raider was one of them, but today has shaken up your view and-
“Ahuizotl, if you tire of this game, I could use some more salsa and chips!” the annoying “doctor” complains.
“Oh Will You Just Shut The Buck Up Already!” you yell out, your voice echoing.
“Huh? Who was that? And why are you so rude?”
“I’m trying to think deep thoughts here, and you’re not helping you Dingbat!”
There is a pause for a few heartbeats, before the stallion speaks up again.
“Ahuizotl, why is your home insulting me? I don’t find this joke funny!”
“Oh That Does It!” you growl as you stand up from the pressure plate and walk out the door.
Master of Shadow’s Comment
“Whether this guy is evil or not, he’s annoying. If Grandbuggy hates him, then I’ll lean that way for now. Besides, maybe he’s got some cool stuff on him,” you reason. “If Grandbuggy and the others get a cool hidden passage experience, then I need a pickpocketing one.”
And with that, you make your way towards the dining room to try and steal whatever Caballeron is delivering to Ahuizotl.
POV CHANGE: Grandbuggy
PuzzlingFrost’s Comment
"Ahuizotl WAIT!" You cry. You've been chasing Ahuizotl for 15 gorram minutes with the two stooges trailing behind, barely keeping up.
"Don't worry amigo I know exactly where we're going!" You hear him shout from ahead. You sigh and sit for a few minutes.
“This is getting us nowhere. Who knows what that Filly is going to get up to by herself,” you say in worry.
“SKREONK,” Mangle agrees.
“Well said you creepy bucking thing you,” you say patting it’s head.
You then hear the sound of footsteps, so you casually stick your leg out as Ahuziotl comes running past you.
“AHHH!!!” he shouts as he hits your leg, causing him to do a twirl, somersault, and a barrel roll in mid air before he then flops face first into the cold stone floor.
"OWWW!!" He moans and tries to get up, just as Bob and Steve come charging forward knocking him back onto the ground in a pile up.
*CRASH*
"Ooohhh that had to hurt," You mutter, as the dust clears.
"I think I broke something.," Ahuizotl groans from under the pile.
"You mean other than your pride?" Daring moans dizzily still in his tail paw. Ahuizotl pushes off his minions and looks at you annoyed.
"Amigo why did you do that?! I was almost out of here! And how did you get ahead of me?" he growls, getting in your face with anger.
"Because Zotl, you've been running in circles!" You say in a huff. "We've passed that same statue five times now." You say pointing toward a statue of a monkey. "Which I'm pretty sure is laughing at us."
TartarusFire’s Comment
As if on cue for pointing it out, the statue starts to audibly laugh and shake off dust. The laughter chills the room.
"There is no way out, for I hide the exit. If you answer my riddle, you may leave." It hacks a fog of dust out in a cough. "Sorry about that, I've been here awhile." You cover your muzzle from the light fog of dust.
"Oh great, now what? You never told us about this," you grunt at Ahuizotl.
"Do not blame me friend, I've never actually been through here before, but I've seen this on a map."
"You're worse at this than I thought. Heh. A real archaeologist would have gone through their own site as soon as they had access," Daring mocks.
“I’ve been busy planning OK?!” he defends. “You think it’s easy raising the temperature of an entire jungle? The Rings of Scorchero are spread out all over several countries.”
“So you ARE planning on gathering them! I knew it!” Daring says in triumph.
“Well not for awhile at least, I have to give them to-“
“S-Someone who is not here!” you interrupt so he doesn’t reveal too much. “So let’s just stop talking about that and focus on this evil totem pole.
“I’m a sculpture thank you very much,” the statue says in annoyance, before beginning it’s riddle.
"What goes up and down, while also going around and around, and stopping within bounds? Each one of you will get one guess."
“Ugh, I hate riddles,” you groan. “Who built you? Zebras? They really like their rhyming.”
"Eh, it could be more vague,” says one of the tribal stallions. A hoof slapping the back of his head bounces around the chamber.
“Alright, let’s all start forming some guesses before we actually answer. I want to get to my Great Granddaughter before something stupid happens.”
POV CHANGE: Nightshade
“I hope Grandbuggy gets back here before something stupid happens with him,” you mutter as you find the eating area. When you enter said dining room, you find the infamous Dr. Caballeron, and he looks just like the pictures in the books. He’s got a five o’clock shadow, his rugged adventurer’s shirt, and the golden skull cutie mark shines. Currently, he is in the same huffy position you were in not long ago, with his arms crossed and pursed lips.
But where’s the delivery? You wonder. I can’t exactly pickpocket the guy if he’s empty hooved.
The stallion, sits in front of his impromptu meal and lets out an exasperated sigh.
Kichi’s Comment
Down With Chrysalis’s Comment
"Great, how I hate to wait alone" he groans.
"I'm here, you know?" you speak up from the doorway trying to get his attention.
"Oh, great, the voice again,” he huffs not looking your way at all. “Ahuizotl! You should have told me that this temple had ghosts! That will definitely drive my prices up!”
You tilt your head at that leap in logic.
“Um, I’m not a ghost. I’m alive…and I’m right here,” you say, fluttering your wings trying to get his attention, but he still doesn’t look at you.
“Suuure you are,” he taunts, looking up at the ceiling. Frustrated by his stubbornness, you fly onto the table, directly in front of him.
“I’m not a ghost! I’m right in front of you!” you insist clopping your hooves together in front of his face.
“Ha! As if I’d fall for that one. Leave me be spirit, you’ll just give me indigestion,” he says stubbornly, still looking at the ceiling.
“I-How-Wha-It-Huh?!” you stammer in exasperation at the idiot in front of you.
OK, OK, Calm down Nightshade. Sure this guy is a villain and an idiot, but you’re not a bully anymore. Think rationally. Now, What would Daddy do?
This thought proceeds to create multiple thought bubbles around your head...and most of which are your father punching, kicking, blasting, or all of the above, the stallion while fire rages in the background.
…Daddy really does use violence a lot to solve our problems huh? You sigh. But Grandbuggy said not to do what Daddy would, so that narrows things down a lot.
You then spot a gong over in the corner and smirk. You throw one of the table candelabras at the gong, creating a deafening crash as you use your transformative powers to bring out your changeling features and hover right in front of him.
“You will notice me, or you will face the full brunt of my wrath!!!” you command in a domineering voice. For good measure, you blast Magic Missile into the air, which bursts with a blue hue.
There. That flashy introduction should get his attention, you think as you look down at him, and see him cleaning dirt out of his hooves, ignoring you.
"Oh Come On!!!" you shout in frustration at his denseness.
“That tears it! I’m not doing what Daddy would do, I’m doing what I would do! Falcon Uppercut!" you shout as you hit him under the jaw, which throws him backward into the gong.
“Youch!” Caballeron cries, holding his sore jaw as he wobbily gets up from the gong. “What hit me?!”
"Me You Idiot! I'm right here!" After that shout, he finally, FINALLY looks to you.
"Wait! Nightmare Moon!? Amazing. Has that bumbling Ahuizotl sealed your spirit within this temple as a guardian?” he asks seeming impressed.
"What? No! I’m not Nightmare Moon! Why does everyone keep thinking that?!” you whine.
"Well, you’re a black alicorn filly in a creepy temple, I just put 2 and 2 together..." he explains causing you to groan.
"You can call me Evening Shadow, and no, I'm not Nightmare Moon, and I’m sure as Tartarus not a ghost.”
Kersey475’s Comment
“Hmmph. There’s no way you can prove that. Most spirits want you to believe they’re real until you’ve been lead to your doom,” he counters.
“Wha-I just uppercutted you in the face dude!” you point out.
“That doesn’t prove anything. I didn’t even see that happen, so I don’t know what I saw or felt,” he insists, crossing his forelegs.
This Bucking Guy! You think in frustration, before gritting your teeth and shouting,
“Well watch this then you dumbass! Falcon Kick!”
You kick the villain right in the nards, but surprisingly he doesn’t go down, only grunting in mild pain.
“What the buck?” you say in confusion. “That move usually turns guys into mares for a short time. Are you related to Bulk Biceps?”
“I don’t know who that is, but the answer is simple. I wear a cup,” he gasps as she stands back up. “I always wear one after the 7th time that accursed Daring Do nutshotted me.” This causes you to snort.
“So it took you THAT long to take the hint?” you giggle.
“Yes…but it appears I will take this hint much sooner. You are indeed flesh and blood Ms. Evening Shadow. But the question remains, Who are you and what are you doing here?”
“I, ummm…I’ve got business with Ahuizotl,” you declare.
“Ah, don’t we all,” he hoof waves. “Where is that giant cat abomination anyway?”
“He kind of fell down a hole and I’m waiting for him to come back out,” you admit.
“Of course he did,” Caballeron rolls his eyes. “Well he better hurry up, I have other potential buyers for my delivery.”
“What are you delivering anyway?” you ask.
“As if I would tell you. That’s between me and the buyer,” he says.
“I don’t even see anything on you,” you point out.
“You think I’d be so mad as to carry it on my person alone? I left it with my henchmen outside.”
“Oh. Aren’t you gonna invite them in for food?”
“Nah. If Ahuizotl can get trapped in his own house, the last thing I’m doing is bringing those muscle heads in.”
“Oh. Well…I guess we’ll just wait until he gets back here then,” you say.
“That sounds like the most logical plan, even if it will cost him extra,” Caballeron nods. After he says that, an awkward silence falls between the two of you since neither of you really know what to say to the other.
Kichi’s Comment
“Sooo…Little filly? Do you have any bits on you?” he asks.
“I’ve got an allowance,” you admit raising an eyebrow in suspicion. He then smiles mischievously.
"Well then, how would you like to increase the amount you have?”
“I do like the sound of more money,” you nod, “What’re you thinking?”
“We have time apparently, and I have a deck of cards... Want to play a game of Poker?" he asks, dripping with swindler attitude.
Grandbuggy had warned you that this guy cheats at cards, and from the looks of things, he’s trying to cheat you out of your bits. But that doesn’t deter you. You give him your own mischievous smirk.
“You’re on buster.”
Some Time Later
"No! It can't be!" shouts Caballeron as you slide more of his bits towards you.
"I win again,” you say innocently. “Boy this sure is a fun game Mister. So what is the tally now? 1500 Bits, and three artifacts you claim you have with you?”
"Gaaah! This doesn’t make sense! Double or nothing!" he shouts in anger at your smile.
"If you say so," you shrug as he starts to shuffle the deck again.
Baby doesn’t like it when his cheating doesn’t work does he? You think jovially. Thank you Sombra for the tips.
Flashback
Back in Appleloosa one night, you were visiting with Sombra, who had become more open ever since the Invasion battle, and he told you he was going to teach you a few things.
"Today, I'm going to show you how to cheat and counter-cheat and over-cheat.” He declares.
“Cheat? Like in what way?” you ask.
“Games of chance mostly. If you know what you’re doing, the chance part will always fall in your favor.”
“Why does that matter?”
“Because, your father is an idiot and does not understand the essence of subterfuge and bluffing. There are many ways to defeat an enemy with cheating, whether it’s in cards, or in a fight. You think I accumulated my Empire by being honest?”
“Oh…You want me to do things the ninja way?”
“…Sure, let’s go with that,” he nods. “With a good eye for detail, and the right skill of magic, the odds will always be in your favor. Though you should never try to cheat a dragon, they have a sense for it.”
“That’s OK. I only really know one dragon and I’d never cheat on Spike.” Sombra raises an eyebrow at that and your eyes widen at how that sounded.
“Mhmmm,” Sombra says with a smirk.
“SHUT UP!”
Flashback End
“But yeah, I would never hurt Spike in any form,” you mumble.
“You say something Filly?” the frustrated Caballeron asks looking up from his cards.
"Nope! Are you ready to continue playing?" you challenge.
1 Hour Later
POV CHANGE: Grandbuggy
TartarusFire’s Comment
After an hour with each member of the group guessing a different opinion and after a short snack break, they were ready.
"Now remember all of you, stick with the planned guesses, we don’t want to be stuck down here forever." You point a hoof at one of the guards, "What was your guess again? I've no clue as you were just madly giggling the entire time."
"Oh I was just laughing about how it could be us, what with going in circles for so long." A large rumbling sounds behind you all, revealing a stone staircase.
"Are. You- For Buck’s Sake!" You smack a wall in frustration. "We spend two hours piddling around with ideas, and THAT'S the bloody answer? I say we break the statue… and Steve for good measure."
"I second that,” Daring Do adds in her two bits.
"Daring, since when were you an advocate for beating up innocent- Oh yeah I'm employing him." Ahuizotl facepalms. "I'll be honest with you Steve-"
"But my name's Strawberry Sunshine," he whines.
"Steve,” you interrupt, “I kind of want to do the same. But the fact of the matter is, you got us all out of this mess," Nods of reluctant acknowledgement go around. "So I say, just this once, he's let off the hook."
"Phew I thought I was about to get pummeled or something."
"That being said," Ahuizotl's voice becomes saccharine, "Docked pay for three days, you trapped us in here the second time."
As you lead the way up the passageway up, you exit out into the cat room.
“Meow?” asks the little kitten from atop the cage, which causes Mangle to let out an earsplitting scream.
“Mangle?” you hear your Great Granddaughter call out down the hallway, followed by footsteps.
“Fluffykins, don’t go scaring our guests,” Ahuizotl orders as he comes through with Daring.
“Yeah Fox Bot, you lost a fight, quit being a pansy,” you order.
Mangle looks at you with a sneer, before smirking as…
Kersey457’s Comment
She takes one Steve’s fanciful feathered shoulder pads and throws it onto Fluffykins’ head. You and the rest are confused at this, until Nightshade rounds the corner.
“Grandbuggy, Mangle, you’re all back. I just won like 5,000 bits and- *GAAASSSPP*”
“Meow?” the kitty asks in fear seeing Nightshade’s expression. She then lets out another high pitched squee and rushes the cat, squeezing the daylights out of it. You look at the Fox and see it laughing evily.
“You cheeky little devil,” you say in admiration.
Unfortunately, Nightshade isn’t the only one that likes Cats too much.
“OH MY GOODNESS! SO CUTE!” Ahuizotl squees as he flails around, and the bound Daring Do’s head collides with yours.
“Ooooohhhhh…” you groan as you rub your head, and Daring Do’s eyes whirl, while she’s still grappled.
“Ah Ahuizotl, is that your voice I hear? About time! The price has gone up! I’m low on funds at the moment!” Comes a very irritating voice.
“Oh Great, Dr. Caballeron is coming,” Daring Do groans.
8BitMadness’s Comment
Falx_of_Lume’s Comment
Hearing that name, your dizzy mind mixes with anger as three mini Caballeron’s dance around your head singing a catchy tune.
And as the flankhole himself steps around the corner, he seems very, very confused.
“What in the world?” he says in that voice of his that just makes you clench your teeth in anger.
WHAT DO YOU DO?
I don’t have anything to add now expect a song that fits perfectly to me.
It’s literally a song about coming into your own and beating the odds! Once again sorry I got nothing else tonight... I have to get my wisdom teeth removed tomorrow..Yeah that’ll be fun.
Your going to be super loopy doopy tomorrow! I’ll get the camera!
Ugh yeah so any ways goodnight everyone! Pinkie get back here! I want to keep my dignity intact!
What dignity?
Ow my pride!
You have pride?
Why???!!!!
Before they know what happened, somehow it developed into a three way duel, Caballeron ready to attack both him and Daring Do, Daring Do ready to attack Nightshade and Caballeron and Nightshade still confused about what is happening.
"Surrender, both of you, you are not going to use whatever magical item you want to conquer the world" Say Daring Do
"This is the last time you disturb my business, Daring!" Shout Caballeron
Meanwhile Nightshade a little groggy look at Daring
"Uhh... Never knew that Daring had twins..." Mutter Nightshade
Meanwhile in the peanut gallery, Ahuizotl, the lackeys, the cats, Mangle and Grandbuggy are looking the show as if it was the most normal of the world.
"I bet 10 bits that Daring manage to win somehow manage to win against them and escape as the house is suddenly fall down somehow" Say Ahuizotl as he take 10 bits
"I see those 10 bits and double it that somehow my Great-Grandaughter is the cause that the house is destroyed" Say Grandbuggy throwing 20 bits
"Hey! Why no one vote for me? Is no one going to vote that I win? You don't think there is a chance I win?" Shout Caballeron
"Yeaaah... Nope" Say Ahui
"Nu-uh..." Say Grandbuggy
-------------
8825522
I like it, but Bugzee isn't there so you might want to replace him with either Granbuggy or Nightshade to make it work.
8825717
Edit: I put Nightshade, not sure if it's as funny, but well..
Oh I have an idea. a hilarious one. This comes after Kichi's comment.
8825522
"I have in my possession an artifact of great power that will help us to settle this dispute!" Caballeron suddenly shouts.
"Yeah, but you owe me 6 of them," Nightshade deadpans.
"This just happens to be my seventh artifact, thank you very much!" Caballeron replies.
Caballeron steps outside for a moment, then returns with a small, somewhat flat box.
"This is an enchanted board game that cannot be quit until it is over. If I win, I get my stuff back and Daring Do cannot stop me from leaving of my own free will. If you win, you get everything. An all or nothing bet. Sound good?" Caballeron asks.
Nightshade looks over the game box, and blows some dust off of it, revealing the title of the game.
"Jumanji?! Oh buck no!" Nightshade screams, kicking it out of Caballeron's grasp.
"Gimme my money and artifacts you sleazeball!" She continues, pulling out the dark cannon and aiming it at Caballeron.
Caballeron is sweating heavily now, having expected Nightshade to accept his bet, where he'd use some trick dice to win without any effort.
"N-now, I'm s-sure we can work th-this out," Caballeron nervously stutters, now faced with an angry alicorn filly AND Daring Do.
"You probably should just give the girl the money, Caballeron," Grandbuggy pipes in. "You won't like her when she's angry."
8824865
Back from surgery yay. Just need to rest for a few days. Don’t worry nurse Pinkie Pie will make sure he gets better!
And I Nurse Redheart will make sure she doesn’t feed him only cakes. Have fun everyone!
8826493
Okay I just have to add to this!
Caballeron begins to back away from Nightshade, before he suddenly smirks.
"Wait a second...that gun is fake! You had me going there for a second, but there's no way that is re-"
Nightshade just raises her brow before pulling the trigger. The Dark Cannon begins to charge up, and everypony begins to back away slightly as they can see the gun start to glow and hear it charging up. Caballeron starts to sweat some more before stuttering out,
"No..now see here! This is a nice light show but there's no way tha-"
Right before the gun fires Nightshade turns and aims it at a pillar. The Dark Cannon fires, its energy arrow flies threw the air and completely obliterates the pillar. Nightshade then turns back to Caballeron, her brow still raised as she shifts the gun back to aim at him.
Grandbuggy lets out a whistle at the destruction, while Daring Do just stares for a bit before saying,
"Okay kid, gotta admit...that was pretty awesome."
Caballeron, on the other hoof, seems to forget how his legs work as he collapses on the spot shaking like a leaf. He stares at Nightshade in pure fear as he mumbles out,
"That...that was real! You...you could have killed me! I...I....I..."
Before Cablleron's mental breakdown can continue the entire temple begins to shake. Everypony begins to look around in confusion till one of the dumb lackeys face-hooves and says,
"Doh! That was the one pillar supporting the entire temple! I knew I forgot to do something today, guess reinforcing it was that thing."
Everypony just looks at the lackey before they all collectively say,
"Oh crap baskets!"
Sorry, that was just too perfect not to add onto! And I'm going with BrownDog's choice of ending theme. Gotta love the JoJo reference, plus it makes sense given Nightshade and Grandbuggy's adventure
8832692
I freaking love it. Also don't forget that this is THE RETURN OF THE DARK CANNON! How many chapters has it been since it's last been used again, DWC?
8832789
Man I can’t remember for the life of me. I think maybe during Kersey’s Crimsion Knight capture, but I’m not too sure
kill it all kill it all with FIRE!!!