• Published 17th Dec 2017
  • 3,316 Views, 1,451 Comments

Life of a Wanted Changeling Season 4: At Luck's End (Comment Driven Story) - BrownDog77

The Final Adventure of Bugze the Changeling, AKA You. (Comment Driven Story)

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Episode 2: Scream Therapy

8bitmadness’s Comment

PuzzlingFrost’s Comment

GreyRebl’s Comment






Bugze for the love of me, will you get a hold of yourself you fool?! Selena groans in desperation and annoyance, but you can’t stop screaming. How could you? One of your worst fears has come true and then some.

“AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!” you continue screaming your new alien vocal chords raw.

Bugze for the gods’ sake, you’ll pass out if you keep screaming like that!

“Yes! I know! Sweet merciful bliss will come with it! AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!”
And while she audibly facehooves, since she has the luxury of still having hooves, Sombra continues to sing that inane My Little Human song like a torturous resonance of cringe and neck beard gurgling, the crescendo so terrifyingly deep and demonic that it shudders your insides... Even though it's just how his voice sounds.

La la la~ My little human~ My little human~

YOU’RE NOT HELPING!!! She yells at the filthy humie in your mind.

“Horrible Overhyped Trash For Little Fillies with Horrible Animation! Why must it be real?! AAAAAAHHHHH!!!”

Alright that does it! Bugze, just know that what I’m about to do is for your own good! Selena growls, and you suddenly feel your perspective get pushed back inside your head slightly.

Assuming Direct Control…

While you continue to yell to the heavens for this crime against nature and all reality, the former mare in the moon lifts your evil gross hand and…

DarkInfinity666’s Comment: i would imagine bugze punch himself in the face a few times to see if he was dreaming

Baraka Obama’s Comment: Proceed to slap yourself multiple times, praying that this is some kind of side effect after using the transporter.

“AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!- *SLAP* OW!” you stop your shouting abruptly and clutch your smarting face. You find yourself in a familiar situation with a red hoof… er, hand mark on your face.

“Hey that really hurt! Without chitin this hand this…hand…Uh, Ah! AAAAHHH-*SLAP* Ouch! *SLAP* OW! *SLAP* OK! *SLAP* I Get It! *SLAP* Stop!” you shout and pant as several more red marks line your cheeks. Your evil wriggly hand stops inches from your cheek and lowers as you topple over once more.

Now, are you done shouting yourself ragged? Selena inquires.

“Y-yeah *pant* I think so…” you gasp as the pain helps to sober you up.

Good. I know that this is a shock, but we have to stay focused right now. There are too many variables we don’t know, she reasons, and the logic in her words does help you focus more.

“Right…right. There could be enemies nearby, there’s no time to worry. I’ll just not focus on the fact that I’ve been turned into a…a…”

~Big adventure, tons of fun. A beautiful heart, faithful and strong~

“Oh who am I kidding, how can I escape this personal Tartarus?!” you panic and start hyperventilating.

~Sharing kindness, it’s an easy *BLAST* AH! Sombra yelps in pain.

Not Now You Miserable Cretin! She chides the fanboy. Now Bugze, just ignore that swine’s- Oh For Goodness’ Sake!She bellows while you fall further into existential crisis.

GreyRebl’s Comment

"H-hands... I have ha-han-ha—!" You choke and wheeze in and out, shuddering, stammering, and coughing. The slightest tug of your jeans feels so foreign...so alien. And those fingers, on your...hands, where your hoofs are supposed to be, they just—just wriggle! You can even feel the same in your shoes!

Lying on the concrete, curling your limbs—your abominable human limbs—around yourself, bombarded by memories of horrors long since forgotten, you hysterically sob into your knees as you rock back and forth along your back.

"I-it's going to be okay. It's going to be okay," you repeat, and your voice cracks. "It'sgoingtobeokaaaay!"

Bugze, You've already served your time being the fool. Now enough crying and stand up! You have survived far worse than this! She orders, but this only causes you to roll onto your side, eyes shaking in terror.

"I can hear her: Lyra, talking my ear off about humans, ranting about fan theories, inviting me to a My Little Human convention..."
Selena's sigh echoes in your mindscape. Then, her voice turns as sweet as nectar.

Listen, my dear bug,she utters soothingly,Just because you're now human does not mean you're one of...'them'.

"B-but that's what a converter would say! I've seen it! Heard it!" You squeeze tighter into your pitiful ball. "They were LIARS, those closet human-loving scum!"

...Sometimes, I wonder if we take our disgust a bit too far...


Really? What were they called? I’ll have to search those out. They better have my OTP, Sombra chimes in.

“NO! I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOUR DAMNED SHIPS LYRA!!! AAAAHHHH!!!” you shout as you bolt forward.

What did I just say worm?! Selena growls as she blasts at Somba again.

You’re all just haters!

Trying to get away from bad memories, you at least have some semblance of rationality, though that rationality is that smacking yourself silly will make you think better. Not quite what Selena was trying to do, but you’ve taken that lesson to heart. So before she can assume control again, you…

Master of Shadow’s Comment: This has to be a dream. You find the nearest tree/tree like object and slam your head into it till you wake up.

Slam your disgusting ape face against its reflection in the side of the building again and again. As your head starts to crack said window, which Sombra notes is made of crystal, you do feel the old memories being buried in favor of pain.

Bugze Stop! You’re bleeding! Selena commands, and as you looked at your cracked visage, you see some of your midnight blue blood coming out of your forehead.

“Oh, so I am…on the plus side…Ow….” You slump onto your knees, which bend the complete opposite direction than what you’re used to. You stare at your new form in the crystal window, before sighing and wiping your forehead with the back of your…hand.

“Gorammit Jack. Why couldn’t you have told me before and let me freak out in my real body?” you whimper as tears start coming to your eyes and your breathing gets ragged again.

DownWithChrysalis’s Comment

Bugze calm down! You’re gonna hurt yourself more and draw too much attention to us! Just remember those breathing techniques Zecora taught you!

At Selena's suggestion you start to take deep, calming breaths like how the zebra shaman instructed. As you breathe you think,

Everything is okay, everything is alright. I'm just trapped in a world where creatures from a terrible TV show exist AND I'M ONE OF THEM OH DEAR LUNA WHY?! THIS IS NOT OKAY, EVERYTHING IS NOT GO-



Slowing down your breathing again after that mild panic attack you eventually calm down enough to speak rationally.

“Okay...Okay…I'm good… sorta. As long as I don’t see any of those overrated characters right at this moment, I think I’ll be alright…”

Michelle is not overrated. She is the most adorable-

"OVERRATED I SAY!!!" You shout before you take one more long breath and open your eyes to look at your reflection again. “Sweet Tartarus I’m ugly as buck,” you groan.

It’s not as bad as you perceive it my Bug. But hurry up this loathing, there’s no telling who or what overheard your ranting, Selena urges.

Your eyes widen and you look all around you, but thankfully there doesn’t appear to be anyling else around.

“Okay, it looks like I lucked out, but who knows how long that will last?” you then look to the sky and see…

Solarkness’s Comment

Kichi’s Comment

That the sun is close to the horizon. You're guessing it's either dawn or dusk, although you can't say for sure since you can’t really determine the direction it moves in yet. You lean against the wall next to the window you’ve cracked and sigh.

"Well, what now?" you ask.

Well it’s obvious isn’t it? You have to learn to walk with this bipedal form. Remember, time is of the essence, Selena instructs helpfully.

“Bipedal…” you shudder, but you let the horror that that entails go. You can freak out more later. You then do as the mare in your head suggested and begin testing out your new horrendous limbs.

It’s slow going to be sure, transitioning from four legged walking to two, and your balance still is in the gutter, but you are able to stumble walk for more than four steps without falling.

“That’s it. Easy does it. Just like a natural filthy human…” you breathe through your teeth as you puppet your new limbs. Eventually, you stumble back to the remains of your dimensional slider.

“Aw man, Jack is gonna kill me…after I kill him a few dozen times that is!” you then scoop up the shattered pieces and look them over as they sit in the greasy palms of your new hands.

“There is entirely too much feeling when holding something…but anyway, what do you think my chances of repairing this are Selly?”

I could not hazard a guess as we’ve only been in this world for less than 5 minutes, but who knows? Maybe there will be enough advanced tech to salvage it.

“Maybe…but I doubt it. No, I think we’re gonna have to end up using that other portal…wherever the heck it is.” You then sigh and go to place the broken pieces into your Inventory only to find...

Roker12’s Comment: Don't forget your inventory.

“My Inventory!” you cry out as you bring the bag up for inspection. They are no longer your helpful saddle bags, instead it has been turned into...

“A Purse?! Really?!” you shout. “It’s bad enough I’m a damned dirty ape, but now you gotta give me a purse?!”

I believe that’s more of a satchel, Sombra chuckles.

“Bullspit! It’s a purse and you know it! Great, just complete the neckbeard look why don’t you?!”

Well does it still function? Asks Selena rolling her eyes.

“Good question,” you say as you open up the man purse and look inside. Thankfully, it appears as though your belongings haven’t gone anywhere, and the bag of holding still has impossible space inside.

“Well thank goodness for small miracles,” you sigh as you place the pieces inside.

Broken Slider Added to Inventory.

And while you have your transformed inventory open, you check your other items. Unfortunately the majority of your coats and other disguises are still for an Equine body. Including…

8BitMadness’s Comment

DarkInfinity666’s Comment

“Oh No! My Power Glove!” you groan as you hold up the hoof glove. You try placing it over your new disgusting hand, but it only barely sits over the limb when you close it into a fist.

“Aw crud,” you groan.

Well…think on the bright side. At least if the plasmids and vigors do not work, surely the grappling hook still will. It’s always good to have a quick escape available, Selena tries to cheer you up, but your mood is sour.

“This glove doesn’t fit too well on this evil spidery thing, I don’t think it’s going to work at all,” you grumble as you return the weapon back to the inventory.
Sighing, Selena continues,

Well be that as it may, we should test it later. Right now we should endeavor to distance ourselves from outside this Academy to get a better lay of the land.

“Right…but wait, maybe we should scope out that portal now.”

Solarkness’s Comment

You remember Nightshade’s advice about finding Cadance and Shining Armor on this side.

“If I find their counterparts, then the portal should be here too…although they’re probably going to be gross small eyed, five fingered demons too.”

You just don’t get the artistic aesthetic, Sombra grumbles.

“It’s disgusting!” you argue back.

Bugze, Selena interrupts. We should focus on getting you used to this body and the world first before we go hunting for dopplegangers.

“But we’re right here already. Might as well get it over with before anyling else shows up and sees us snooping. And even as I say that…”

“Um Excuse Me? What are you doing on school grounds after hours?” asks a familiar voice that sends shivers up your spine. You slowly turn around and gape at what you see in horror standing in the Academy’s entrance. Even if you hadn’t heard her voice, you would have recognized her even as an ugly ape with those oversized glasses.

AllenNoir’s Comment: So how long before Bugzi meets Sci-Twi standing outside Crystal Prep…

“Um…the school is closed,” she mumbles nervously. “Are you hear to see Principal Finch or-“

“AAAAAHHHHHH!!!” you scream startling human Twilight Sparkle as the last three months come rushing back to you in one instant.

That’s not her Bugze! That’s her dop-

“NOT MY PRINCESS! NOT MY PRINCESS!!!” you yell as you turn and stumble run away from the shocked and confused teenager into what you now know is the night.

Behind you, you faintly hear some sort of exchange.

“What was that Twily?” asks a familiar male voice.

“I don’t know. Some crazy homeless person I think.”


After quite literally learning how to run again (fear and insanity over a little girl are great motivators) you find yourself in an alleyway panting as the night gets darker. Thankfully, by some luck you’ve never had before, you’ve not seen a single other human since running from Twilight.

“Oh jeeze *Huff* How am I *Pant* This winded already?” you ask as you lean against a brick wall.

You obviously have a different stamina for this body. But you wouldn’t have needed to find that out had you stayed calm, Selena chides.

“I couldn’t help it. It’s still too soon for me to be hearing her voice. For all I know, this world’s Twilight is also a princess and will strike me down if I get on her bad side.”

I don’t know why you were so worried, I thought the redesign was adorable and-

“I don’t give a buck about your little filly show!” you shout and pant some more, leaning into the wall.

Well, if anything, we’ve learned that the Bookworm’s double and her brother are at that Academy, so our Daughter’s theory may yet hold water, Selena points out.

“Oh goody,” you say sarcastically as you pull your head up from resting on your hand and shudder. “I don’t think I’m ever going to get used to this.”

You then notice something under your hand, plastered to the brick wall. Something that catches your attention.

“Huh?” you pull back and your muzzle-less mouth drops at what you see.

Kichi’s Comment

8BitMadness’s Comment

The words WANTED are plastered over the images of three humans standing in front of what looks like a Police Height Chart.

One of them is a male wearing a jagged metal crown, and sticking his tongue out, another is female in dark leather clothing and heavy eye shadow, and the last one is a cloaked figure, with his face obscured and the eyes glowing orange.

“No way…” you say breathlessly. The three humans are holding signs that have their names scrawled on it. King Crystal, Nightmare Moon, and of course

“The Hooded Offender…They’re searching for me even in this dimension? Buck you Lady Luck!” you growl, and your hands instinctively curl into fists, which feels really weird. Along the sides of the humans are a list of what you can only assume are their crimes, only it’s worded strangely.

Kill the King,

Burn the Flag,

Gut the Traitors,

Bring the Darkness.

The Wanted, with Special Guest, Queen of the Hive.

Coming Soon.

Of course it couldn’t be that easy…Selena says sounding dejected. But maybe there is hope? This poster is old and weathered. Maybe they’ve already captured our counterparts?

“If only we were so lucky,” you groan but something still confuses you. “You know for a Wanted Poster, this really doesn’t have a lot of details. And what does that ‘Coming Soon’ and 'Special Guest' part mean?”

Now that you look at it, it looks more like the three humans on the poster were posing on purpose. It’s almost as if this whole thing was a promotional.

If that’s my Hum-Sona, then I definitely give my seal of approval, Sombra interrupts your thought process causing you to roll your eyes.

“Yeah, well your little creepy fantasies just might spell our doom. The less people see this the better,” you declare as you, without thinking, immediately tear down the poster with your newly gained hands and endeavor to do the same with any other wanted posters of you that you find.

"I sure hope that this is some sort of set of collectibles that unlocks an awesome weapon or something," you muse.

Bugze, This isn't a video game, this is real life, Selena deadpans.

“Yeah, real life with Humans and a world without magic,” you snark.

…Okay, I’ll give you that one. But even then, I doubt tearing them down will accomplish much.

“It couldn’t hurt. Besides, there’s something strange about these posters…”

Your time as a bounty hunter let you see quite a few, and unless Humans are that much stranger, then something is off about this Wanted poster.

TheRutherford’s Comment

You shake your head at this little mystery and sigh.

“Let’s worry about this later. It’s not even been an hour and it’s dark and I’m already mentally exhausted,” you groan.

Indeed. So far we’ve been lucky in avoiding other human creatures, but we should find some place to rest before it gets too late.

“Well that’s going to be tough. I think we’re in a city,” you say as you look out of the alley way and see fast moving metal carriages of some kind whizzing by. “And bullspit there’s no magic in this world, look at those carriages!”

You gulp looking at the mechanical marvels that make your Derby Racer back home seem like scrap metal. You look behind you to the alley and the Dumpsters at the far end.

“Well, if it comes down to it…but I really don’t want to have to sleep outside. I need somewhere quiet so I can think through all…” you look down at yourself, “This!”

We will need funds in that case. What we have now should be enough for some days, but we will need some sort of income to support ourselves.

“Yeah, I mean I guess I could become a repairpony, uh I mean repair...man,” you grumble at the evil word.

You're tired in an alien city and it's night time.


Author's Note:

They say there's no rest for the wicked, but what do they know? Help Bug Boy Get Some Rest.

Hey Hive Mind,
Sorry for the delay. Would have had this chapter out right before Christmas Eve, but Lady Luck decided to give me food poisoning for the holidays, and then some healthy doses of overnight shifts at my work.
And since I didn't say it before, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Anyway, thanks for all the comments guys, but sadly I couldn't use them all since some of them were hypothetical scenarios for farther into the future. I'll hold onto them, but just know the story is always changing.

Now when writing Bugze's struggle through this world, just remember that aside from some Magical Girl shenanigans later on, this is more or less OUR boring old world he's stomping through, so no weapons to surpass Metal Gear, or random Kaiju, or anything like that randomly showing up :pinkiecrazy:

Also, some of you may have noticed the new title. Puzzling Frost's suggestion was well received by a vocal majority, so congratulations buddy, YOU named the last season :pinkiehappy:

This Chapter's Question is.

What should the Opening theme be?

I've put a placeholder with two Powerman 5000 Songs, but as always you guys should decide, and we'll start with the opener. Do you like World's Collide, or something better? Let me know.

See you on the Battlefield Hive Mind.

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