Episode 82: Red vs Blue
Twilight raises an eyebrow at your answer before looking back at the dancing and cheering Breezies.
“Are you sure? Looks pretty important to me,” she says and you roll your eyes.
“Look, it’s pretty simple,” Grandbuggy comes to your rescue. “Most everyone in the world still thinks Discord is a turd and want to celebrate his suffering.”
“That’s a harsh way to put it,” Twilight says looking aghast.
“Oh come off it now, as if you wouldn’t skip around in a circle after killing Nightmare Moon,” Grandbuggy points out and her eyes widen as do yours.
“Wh-I-I wouldn’t dance around!” Twilight scoffs.
“Really?” you pipe up.
“Of course not!” she says stoically. “Purging her from The Offender’s body is necessary, but I won’t take any sick joy in it.” Your face falls at that.
Wow, I’m sure Mom and Dad will be just thrilled to hear that, you think sarcastically.
Noticing the judging eyes on her, Twilight nervously coughs into her hoof.
“B-But enough about that, that’s neither here nor there,” she says. “Discord is suffering and no one should take joy in that.”
“Eh, maybe just a little,” Grandbuggy shrugs and she scowls.
“Don’t let Fluttershy hear that,” you warn as you hear her getting more juice in the kitchen.
“Agreed,” Twilight and Grandbuggy say at once, which catches them both off guard.
“A-Anyway, Nightshade, do you think you could call them off? We don’t know if what Quacksalver did is contagious or not.”
“Yeah sure,” you nod and turn to them, but pause when you see her suddenly brighten with a thought.
“Hey that reminds me, did you happen to come in contact with him? Perhaps that’s why you’ve started developing your father’s skin condition? I have some salves that could help in these early stages and-“
“I don’t have skin problems! I just like wearing scarfs now okay!” you cut her off in annoyance. She seems taken aback by this.
“Oh, well…” she starts but Grandbuggy puts a hoof on her shoulder.
“It’s probably acne or something, you know how young fillies get,” he lies and Twilight’s eyes widen in understanding.
“Oooohhhh.”
Acne? I don’t have acne. My skin is flawless…aside from the broken necklace, but still! You think dismissively as you turn to your fanatical followers…
WARGAMES’s Comment
And see a few of them holding nails above their heads with wicked smiles.
“For she has lain him low, we will finish him off in honor of her!” the Blue Zealot commands and your pupils shrink.
“Begone foul beast! To the depths of Tartarus with you!” the Red Zealot shouts and they raise the nails even higher.
“No, no, no! None of that!” you scold as you light up your magic and pull the nails from their grips. “Shame on you!”
“Huh? What did they do?” Twilight asks trying to peer over your shoulder.
“Nothing!” you lie and quickly toss the nails aside, which nearly hits Angel who dodges Matrix style. “They were just…getting out of hand with their dances.”
“Oh I see, wouldn’t want them getting hurt doing so right?” she says.
“…Sure, let’s go with that,” you lie nervously before looking to Grandbuggy for help.
“Ahem, say Stargirl, why don’t you go and help the Butterfly with the drinks? It can’t be that easy to fill dozens of thimbles with only hooves,” he says and she cocks her head.
“She uses thimbles?”
“Yeah, it’s the damndest thing,” he says in mock surprise.
“Huh, well in that case magic does come in handy,” she nods and turns to you. “But be sure to get them off Discord, don’t need the Breezies coming down with Blue Flu.”
“Yup, on it!” you say as sweat beads on your brow and she walks into the next room. Letting out a sigh, and nodding a thanks to Grandbuggy, you turn back to the little pests.
“What the buck dudes?! Why would you do something like that?”
“The great Bob said that your enemies should be broken before you,” the Red one says.
“Yes, especially since you went through the trouble of taking his divinity, we thought it was our place to dispose of him,” the blue one adds.
“I already told you! It wasn’t me that did this to him!” you seethe through your teeth.
“What?” they say taken aback.
“And he’s not my enemy! I mean…not anymore he’s not. He’s still annoying and stuff but he is trying to be better and I don’t want him snuffed out,” you say sincerely.
The Breezies all look at you dumbfounded for a few silent moments before the Blue Zealot suddenly scowls.
Kichi’s Comment
“We have been deceived!” he shouts, pointing at you.
“Huh?” you flinch backward.
“What god would say that the Chaotic One is not her enemy? She is a false goddess and has tricked us with her lies!”
A few of the Breezies mutter at that and the Red one grits his teeth.
“How could you say such blasphemy?!” he demands while squaring up with the Blue one.
“She lied to us! She said she defeated the Chaotic One, but now she claims to be his friend? What else has she lied to us about?!”
“I never said I defeated him! In fact I explicitly said I didn’t! You guys just don’t listen!” you growl as your shards glow.
“Perhaps it is but a test?!” the Red one argues.
“I say it’s not!” the Blue one growls and they butt heads and others in the crowd start facing off with one another.
“See! You’re not listening to me even now!” you huff in frustration at their pigheadedness.
“They have a tendency to do that,” Seabreeze says matter of factly and Grandbuggy chuckles.
“Grandbuggy! This isn’t funny!” you grunt and he looks at you incredulously.
“Of course it is honey. You’ve gone and jumped to the end of what happens to every cult,” he grins.
“What do you mean?”
“In practically every cult, there’s always someone that gets fed up and tries to take the power for themselves by making the leader look weak,” he explains and then gets a faraway look. “Come to think of it, that’s how politics work too.”
“But I don’t want to be a politician! I’m a good filly gorammit!” you curse while the Breezies start to argue.
“Do not be swayed by this heretic! The Mistress is still our savior and hope! She trains us to better ourselves!” Red bellows and his side cheer.
“She has indoctrinated us so that we could join her forces! We thought she was the light, but she is the darkness!” Blue shouts and his side yells. All the while, Discord just grumbles in his sleep.
“How can this be normal?” you demand of Grandbuggy. “Like, every single cult turns out like this? With no one listening to reason and yelling?”
“Pretty much,” he nods. “In the end, Cult Leaders and Politicians all end up here, yelling and having idiots follow them. That’s why leaders don’t try to show weakness, no matter how powerful they are.”
Meanwhile in Canterlot
“Achoo!” Celestia sneezes whilst holding audience with Blueblood who is trying to get out of being grounded. He gasps as he sees her wiping her nose.
“Deare Auntie, are you sick?” he says horrified.
“No, no, I just had a tickle in my no-“
“The Princess Is Ill! Code Red! Code Red! Emergency!” he suddenly shouts while running down the hallway, causing Celestia to facehoof and sigh.
“This isn’t how you convince me to allow you to go to the Equestria Games Blueblood!” she grumbles.
Back With You
“But you can’t be tough all the time, it’s just not possible,” you point out and he points at you with a smirk.
“Exactly, now you’re getting it. And that’s why the leaders of these groups try more extreme tactics to avoid the inevitable. Take the Changeling Queen lineage. They ruled with an iron hoof to keep dissenters in line.”
Meanwhile in a Prison
“Achoo!” Chrysalis sneezes, before she starts to look around shiftily. None of her subjects say anything though in both fear, reverence, and the fact that they have to save every bit of energy they can to escape.
Good, they still know their places, she thinks to herself proudly as she goes back to watching the castle wall intently. Now hurry up Whorse of Sombra! I’m dying to be free of these walls!
With You
“Of course, those tactics tend to have the leaders getting executed if they’re not careful,” Grandbuggy adds.
“Yeesh, why can’t they just rule with everyone liking them?”
“You can’t get everyone to like you honey, that’s just a fact of life,” he shrugs. “I mean, there is always brainwashing, but that tactic will for sure get you overthrown before too long.”
Our Town
“Ah, Ah…” Starlight Glimmer seizes up, but is able to suppress a sneeze.
“Are you alright?” asks Sugar Belle with a tray of horrendous looking baked goods.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Probably just some dust or something,” she dismisses before looking over the goods. “But back to business, there’s not unnecessary sugar in them is there?”
“Of course not,” Sugar Belle says with creepy smile. “Not everyone likes sweet things, so it’s important to make everyone happy.”
“Right you are,” Starlight smiles and pats her on the back. “And also because sugar might draw in little brats that kick you down a comically sized cliff side!”
“Huh?” the earth pony questions.
“Nothing!” the unicorn says with shifty eyes.
You
“Yeah, no. I kicked the last lady that did that over a comically oversized cliff side,” you say remembering that creepy town with the false artifact.
“Oh yeah…good times,” Grandbuggy says with a chomp of his stogie as the Breezies start to get louder in their arguments.
“Well obviously I’ve already failed and the revolution is at hand, so how do I get them back in line?”
“Military might mostly,” he says.
“But I can’t bring Jackie out again! Twilight’s just in the other room!” you complain.
“Hmm, well you could always put in a puppet leader that does your bidding while calming the masses.”
You look over at Seabreeze after Grandbuggy suggests that and he frowns.
“Don’t look at me! They never listen to me! They are acting like children! And that yellow pony babying them doesn’t help matters either!” he grunts.
“Okay, okay I get it,” you concede. “I showed weakness and now they’re going nuts. I just gotta take back control before they try to overthrow m-Yeoch!” you jolt as something pricks you in the butt.
Turning around you see a yellow Breezie wearing a strip of blue cloth jabbing your flank with a toothpick.
"Death to the false goddess!” she shouts and pokes you again.
“Ugh! Quit it!” you command as you pick the jerk up in your magic.
"You can kill me, but you will never stop the truth! My ancestors are smiling upon me this day! Can you say the same?!"
“Yes I can! He’s right there and he won’t stop laughing!” you complain as Grandbuggy continues to snort at the situation.
“Look at one you heathens have done!” Red shouts angrily, his side now sporting red strips of cloth in various places.
“She is braver than most!” Blue shouts back, his followers now decked in blue cloth.
Down With Chrysalis’s Comment
Changer T Emerald’s Comment
“She is a kind and benevolent god!” Red snarls.
“The Yellow Horse is the true Kindly one! Down with oppressors!” Blue decrees.
As they say this, amongst their groups, two flags attached to pencils are raised. The Red Faction details you standing over a dead Discord and Mosquito, and the Blue Faction details Fluttershy standing over the same dead caricatures, only with you added amongst the dead.
“…When did they even have time to make those?!” you gawk and Bob speaks up in your mind.
We had an arts and crafts class to build unity…didn’t really look over what they actually created though, he admits and you groan again.
“Of course you did…”
And, as if that were the straw that broke the camel’s back, both sides shout,
“ATTACK!!!”
And the Red and Blue factions all charge one another across Discord’s body and start to utilize Bob and Mangle’s fighting styles against one another, which makes your jaw drop.
“Dear Heavens above, this is far too brutal for these idiots,” Seabreeze says sounding sickened and horrified. And perhaps from his point of view this is violent, but even with their new moves, their small forms and high pitched screams kind of dilute it.
“I…I just...” you sputter at a loss for words as the civil war rages.
“War…war never changes,” Grandbuggy mutters solemnly before shaking his head. “Actually that ain’t entirely accurate. Laser rifles ain’t been invented yet, so it’s for sure going to change in the future.”
“I think you lost your analogy there,” Seabreeze interjects.
“Oh you know what I mean,” Grandbuggy huffs, blowing some smoke towards the only rational Breezie who coughs.
As they banter, you look upon what you’ve wrought, and can’t help but feel that training them was a mistake.
You see two red breezies whacking at each other with blue pens around the rim of a bowl of soup. One of them stands up on the end of the spoon, giving him height advantage and he defeats the other one, sending him into the soup.
“You traitor! You were supposed to stop the anti-mistress faction, not join them!” he shouts tearfully.
“I hate you!” the other shouts, while clinging to the rim’s edge.
You then see a blue one using a thimble to toss water at a red one who has a piece of red lettuce over their left eye for some reason. The red one strikes a match and starts chasing after the blue one screaming,
“Honor!” over and over again.
You see another group facing off against each other with what looks like tamed bugs while wearing black clock gears as armor.
You see another faction having a dance battle with one of the red ones busting out some sick moves, you see a buffer looking one trying to make a crying green coated one eat it’s mane while another throws fire crackers at them, but can’t light them as the Honor one has run off with it.
Again, it may be brutal by Breezie standards, but it’s just plain dumb looking to you. It doesn’t help that the majority of them are fighting atop the passed out Discord.
“…So is this like, the world starting to fall to ruin since he’s out of commission and can’t keep the flow of chaos in balance?” you ask Grandbuggy.
“What? No, of course not, these idiots are just making a ruckus,” he answers plainly.
“Really? Discord not being a god anymore doesn’t have anything to do with it?” you push and he shakes his head.
“That ain’t how gods work kiddo. Just because he loses his chaos powers don’t mean the concept itself starts to run wild.”
“Oh,” you say as if you understand, though you are still a bit confused on the subject. “So the universe is still in balance?”
“Eyup,” he nods. “Just look at that scene over there to know things are going as usual.”
You look over to see Angel “Heroically” trying to fend off some Breezies who are going after Mangle, but she just rolls her eyes at the display.
“Okay that’s in line yeah,” you nod before frowning. “I guess even if these guys ARE out of control, at least they don’t have chaos magic boosting them.”
Elsewhere
The Pony Spartan’s Comment
WARGAMES’s Comment
A red, muscular centaur admires his reacquired musculature in the reflection of a creek bed.
“Oh what a golden opportunity that was. I would have had to scrounge for months or years to get the mana that insane god had,” he says while kissing his bicep. “Oh bless Lady Luck that I caught him weakened and sick.”
He then flexes even more to accentuate his pecs.
“At this rate I could get multiple ponies in one go…though it’d be foolhardy to attack brazenly. I just have to wait for an opportunity like I did with Discord because I am still not strong enough to face the Princesses…or that THING,” he mutters to himself.
Because the universe runs on comedic timing, The Thing bursts forth and throws a bone saw at the centaur’s head, which misses by inches and lodges into a tree.
“AGH! Not you again!” Tirek yelps as he gets to his hooves.
“Yes Me Again!” Quacksalver laughs madly brandishing a hammer and scalpel.
“Why do you still torment me, it’s been months? And how are you still this energetic?! I sucked out your magic last night!” the centaur questions tiredly.
“You can’t suck out my soul baboon-ipede! My ex-wife has it, and they took her in the divorce!”
“That doesn’t make any…Wait, they took HER in the divorce?” Tirek asks with a cocked brow.
“Yup, but thankfully I don’t have to pay alimony because I am allergic to taxes,” he says conversationally.
“…What?!”
“But that’s not important right now! I need to perform a biopsy on you! If my guess is right, you have two hearts with your two ribcages, so I must know what happens when I replace your lung with a baboon heart I got from the zoo!” he shouts holding a case full of silly putty.
“Get The Buck Away From Me!” Tirek shouts as he sends a blast of magic at the pony and runs further into the woods.
“The patient is resisting aid!” the singed nutjob shouts as he continues his hunt.
Back With You
Thankful that there’s no magic at play, for better or for worse, you still decide that thing’s have gone far enough.
Kichi’s Comment
"ENOUGH!" you shout using the RCV which rocks the house, causing the battle to come to a complete standstill.
“Yagh!”
“Oh My!” you hear Twilight and Fluttershy yelp, followed by the sound of crashing kitchenware.
"This has been going on long enough! It's time to stop!" You shout in irritation as you ensnare all of the Breezies in your magic. They start to shout but you fix them all with a death glare as your eyes faintly glow white.
"Can't you see what is happening? Look at all of you! Brothers, sisters, cousins, neighbors, until now, all of you lived with each other in peace! But because I saved you, look at what you’ve become!”
Your shaming words seem to have the desired effect on some of them as they look upon their miniature chaos. Fluttershy exits the kitchen at that.
“Twilight’s got the teapot stuck on her head, what in the world is going on here?” she exclaims but then her eyes shrink as she sees you holding all the pests. “Oh My! The Breezies!”
You ignore her as you continue your tirade.
“You all kept wanting to serve me, and I admit, I liked the attention at first, but this is crazy you guys!” you say pointing to your statue they made. “The only sane one out of you was Seabreeze, because he wants to go home and see his family. Don’t you all have friends and family waiting too, people that would feel awfully terrible if you didn’t make it back to the portal?” Your question catches even more of them off guard as they look towards the ground in guilt.
“Well even if you don’t, I think that the rest of your kind wouldn’t want you all hurting each other and making a big deal over a little filly who just did what was right and saved you. You don’t have to go worshiping me, but I’m not your enemy either, and you also shouldn’t be taking advantage of Fluttershy’s kindness just because she doesn’t know how to say no,” you encourage.
“They were taking advantage of my kindness?” Fluttershy asks in shock, but again you ignore her as you scowl down the tiny creatures.
“And if that reason still isn’t enough to get through your little skulls, then I swear I will drag all of you there and throw you through the portal my mommy damned self!” you threaten and the majority of them gulp and blanch in fear and shame.
"Ummm... Nightshade, don't you think you are being a little too forceful?” Fluttershy asks meekly.
“Nope,” you acknowledge. “Bratty children need to be taught a lesson.”
“Exactly,” Grandbuggy nods. “You spare the rod and you spoil the monkey after all.”
“Monkey?” she asks.
“What? It’s an apt comparison. The little buggers run around hollering and climbing over everything like every little kid I’ve known,” he shrugs.
“Oh…” she says cautiously before looking back to you. “Well still, perhaps you should loosen your grip so they don’t get hurt?”
“I will, I will,” you roll your eyes as you set them all down on Discord who just mumbles in his sleep. “There, all better now right?”
The Breezies all nod silently, too fearful to say anything else.
“That’s a relief,” Fluttershy sighs before looking back to you. “Also, earlier, what was that thing about your…Mother?”
You roll your eyes in frustration on her hesitation and how she said it.
Still with this? Let it go lady!
“Fluttershy, if I didn’t like you as a friend, I would be a lot more crass with you right now, but since we are I won’t,” you start.
“Oh,” she says taken aback.
“But to answer your question, I figured if I’m gonna curse using a god’s name, I’d rather use my Mom than Sunbutt.”
“Hmm, makes sense to me,” Grandbuggy chuckles and Fluttershy meekly nods in understanding.
Smirking, you look back upon the rabble and say sternly,
“If the portal is closing in two days, then we’re leaving tomorrow, no ifs ands or butts.” Some of them seem reluctant at that, but they don’t voice their objections. “Any questions?
Unsurprisingly, the Red and Blue Zealots raise their legs.
“Yes?” you call on them.
Puzzling Frost’s Comment
“If we’re not to worship you, then who do we listen to?” asks the Red one.
“Yourselves, duh!” you say matter of factly.
“Ah, so they should listen to me then?” asks the Blue one.
“No! Not you! You’re the reason I got stabbed in the butt!” you chastise.
“But we will need a leader won’t we?” asks the Red Zealot hopefully.
“Not you either bud,” you put down before you get an idea. “In fact, Seabreeze is your leader.”
“I am?” he says in surprise.
“He is?” they gasp.
“Yeah. He’s the only smart one among you, so why not?” you shrug as the crowd begins to murmur.
“Heh, well in that case I humbly accept,” he says not humbly at all.
“Now wait a minute!” Blue exclaims. “We have as much a right to that title now since we don’t worship you!”
“You don’t worship me, but that doesn’t mean you won’t listen to me,” you threaten and he gulps.
“But he does have a point mi-er-little filly,” the Red one says reluctantly. “Can we not at least battle him honorably for the title?”
“Battle? Haven’t you lot had en-“ you start before Seabreeze actually cuts you off.
“I think that’s a grand idea,” he says and you look at him quizzically. “In fact, I will take both of you on at once.”
Fluttershy gasps, Grandbuggy makes a guttural sound of approval, but you just look at him unsure.
“Are you sure about that Seabreeze?” you ask, remembering that he didn’t take part in the civil war. In a surprising move, he gives you a wink.
“Trust me Nightshade, I got this.”
The confidence he radiates is more than enough to convince you of that and you smile.
“Right. Alright, Red and Blue, I approve of this battle, but after that, no more fighting unless it’s for survival, got it?!”
The Zealots nod at this as they look at Seabreeze and start to crack their hooves, while he just floats calmly.
“Oh, but Nightshade I don’t think that they should,” Fluttershy says walking next to Seabreeze, having completely missed the earlier skirmish. “They are very delicate and-“
“Miss Fluttershy,” Seabreeze interrupts, which gets all your attentions. “Please, your kindness has been great, but sometimes, the best kindness to show is tough love.”
Her eyes brighten at that as she takes his words in…and then just like Rainbow Dash two days ago, Fluttershy’s eyes shine briefly with prismatic light.
Whoa, what the heck? Again? You think as you look for the source of light but see no culprits. Is this some sort of eye disease? Do they need glasses now? I should ask Silver Spoon if she’s got rainbows in her eyes later.
Filing away that inquiry for later, you watch as Fluttershy nods silently, but knowingly to the Breezie as she gets out of his way.
“Don’t be too harsh on each other,” she cautions the three combatants and he smirks.
“You don’t have to worry about me,” Seabreeze says confidently, even as the Zealots look ready for a rumble.
“Alright!” You call out. “Three, Two, One, Start!”
And with that, the Zealots “dash” towards him with their hooves outstretched…and he calmly dodges them. Realizing they’ve missed, they wind up and attack again, but each blow misses the only Breezie that speaks Ponish. The thing is though, he doesn’t even lash out at them, even when they stumble and he has clear shots. He just keeps dodging.
“Stay still!” the blue one growls.
“Fight back!” the red one shouts.
“Nope,” Seabreeze responds simply and keeps dodging in an almost lazy manner.
Eventually, the two of them start to tire out, with sweat pouring down their brows and can no longer take any more swings. At that point, Seabreeze just simply grabs the two of them around their waists and gently floats them down to the others atop Discord. The rest of the Breezies all give respectful bows to Seabreeze who just looks at all of them haughtily.
“Well alright then,” Grandbuggy nods in approval while ruffling your mane. “Putting in a puppet leader, good job kiddo.”
“Don’t put it like that!” you grumble and he laughs.
“I really don’t know why it came to this, but I’m glad everything worked out without anybreezie getting hurt,” Fluttershy says happily. You give a wary glance to the two who had fought in the soup, and how they are still wet, but say nothing.
“Fluttershy! Are you ever coming back?” a tinny voice calls from the kitchen.
“Oh right! Twilight’s still got the pot on her head!” she gasps and starts to rush to the kitchen, before pausing suddenly. “Oh, and if you wouldn’t mind, can you all get off of Discord? He really needs his rest.”
The Breezies look to Seabreeze who just nods and they all float off of the depowered god, who begins to breathe a little steadier in his sleep.
“Thank you,” she says sweetly before going back to help Twilight.
“Well, now that that’s taken care of, let’s start getting you all prepped for tomorrow,” you say brightly.
“Prepped?” Seabreeze asks. “I thought you didn’t want them fighting anymore?”
“Yeah, but there’s still evil bees out there, so we gotta take precautions,” you point out with a grin.
The Next Day
Ello Calebero’s Comment
Down With Chrysalis’s Comment
In lieu of more training from Bob and Mangle, you decided to motivate the Breezies with a movie night before their journey home. You showed them classic movies about being strong in an unforgiving world, how to use your wits, and just some good ol fashioned action cheese. They really gravitated towards the movies that had in your face environmental messages for some reason, but hey, at least they weren’t worshipping you.
We now find you, Fluttershy, Grandbuggy and your friends transporting the Breezies via Tupperware containers with holes punched into the top, because at the end of the day, they are still stupidly fragile and susceptible to death at every corner.
Fluttershy had flipped and flopped on whether to stay with Discord or help you all with the Breezies, but after Twilight volunteered to look after him at her house, she came along with you.
You all finally reach the portal to the Breezie dimension, and you can’t help but gawk at it.
“Hey Seabreeze, if that thing is just open like that, how do you not get bees, bats, birds and other stuff just accidentally flying through?”
“Mostly the outer edges of the portal act like a bug zapper to non breezies,” he explains, just as Garble gets an electric shock when pushing his group through.
“Ah, gotcha,” you nod before you look down sheepishly. “Hey Seabreeze?”
“Yes?” he asks.
“Again, I’m super sorry about how I treated you before,” you apologize. “My Daddy and Mommy are in another dimension right now and I don’t even know what I’d do if they were never able to come back to me.”
He smiles at that and boops you on the nose, which really tickles.
“I’ve already forgiven you Nightshade. I’m sorry I was such a grump before. And don’t worry, no matter what it takes, a parent will fight like Tartarus to get back to their child,” he says wisely. Feeling a little better, you gently pat him on the head.
“Hey, I know I’m not really a leader of you guys or anything but…you think I’ll be able to see you guys again in ten years?” you ask hopefully.
“I guarantee it,” he smirks before nodding towards the Red and Blue Zealot who are being carried by Ember. “Those two brought along that statue they made of you.”
“…Can you at least make sure noling makes things too weird in all that time?”
“I will try,” he nods. “Goodbye Nightshade.”
“Goodbye Seabreeze,” you say with a wave. Before your little friend enters the portal however, he briefly stops over at Fluttershy and gives her something that looks like a flower, and for a brief moment, you see that sheen like what was in her eye yesterday.
“…Maybe that just means I need glasses,” you dismiss.
“So honey, what have you learned these last few days?” Grandbuggy asks as the last of the Breezies go through the gate.
“I learned that if I’m ever going to be a leader, whether as a cult leader or, Mommy forbid, a politician, I’ve got to make sure I don’t look weak and to crush adversity at it’s roots,” you say confidently.
“…Or you could, you know, not be in charge in the first place?” he offers with a curious look.
“Huh…ya that would make things a bit simpler,” you concede before shaking your head. “But come on Grandbuggy, surely when I’m older and we’re no longer on the run, ponies are gonna worship me anyway for being an alicorn right?”
“Oh? And you’re so sure you’re going to be able to freely show your wings one day?” he says coyly and you purse your lips.
“Well duh. After Daddy and Mommy get back and when she has her own body we’ll be able to finally show all the other princesses we’re not evil and can finally be a normal family,” you say as if it’s obvious. He looks at you silently for a few moments with an expression you can’t quite read before he smirks and pats your head.
“Keep a hold of that optimism while you still can kiddo. One day the real world will gnaw it down till it’s as old and weathered as I am.”
You know he can be a bit of a neighsayer, but you take his words at face value. You know for a fact that despite everything, progress can be made. You have so many friends and family now that can help the process along. When Dad, Mom and Sombra get back, there will be a greater chance for peace than any of the four long years of running and hiding.
“It’s gonna be fine Grandbuggy,” you smile as the Breezie portal starts to get smaller and smaller, till it disappears completely.
Eventually you all go back to the day to day shenanigans in Ponyville.
For two months, your life is pleasant. You spend practically every day with your friends and family, both old and new, and life just seems to go on. Sure there were some downer bits, like Discord not recovering his magic, but he’s been doing alright living with Fluttershy, and then of course there was the report that the Changelings had broken out of their prison which gave Twilight an anxiety attack, but there had been no reports of attacks.
No, all the good things happening kind of drowned out the bad bits. Ahuizotl and Daring apparently started dating, you went on a family road trip with Pinkie and the Apples and Grandbuggy, Greta and Ember learned more about Pony culture, and Garble still remained small because the magic of the Tree of Harmony is vindictive.
So, safe in Ponyville, you enjoyed a steady and carefree life while awaiting for the Equestria Games.
The Present
“We’re finally here!” the CMC, Diamond and Silver all say at once as the train pulls up to the Crystal Empire Station.
Remarkably, there is no visible damage that you can see from your last trip here when your Dad went beserk.
It really is beautiful isn’t it? You think with a profound joy. Tomorrow, you and the girls will walk out onto the field during the opening ceremonies for the Equstria Games. But before that, you and Grandbuggy will be meeting with Jack and Cadence to finally assemble the device that will get Mommy out of Daddy’s head, and to look into getting the shards out of your chest.
Good thing Cadence found Sombra’s Journal. I hope there will be something in there to get this crap out of me and stop causing me mood swings!
“Nightshade, are you alright?” Spike asks, noticing your intense thinking. You give him a smile and a hoof wave.
“Yeah I’m good, just thinking about stuff…Hey Spike? Do you wanna come with me and the Outcasts when we go to talk to Jack?” you offer nervously and he brightens.
“Yeah, sure! I wouldn’t mind! After hearing so much about the guy he sounds interesting!” he says excitedly which makes you chuckle.
“He’s something alright, but thanks Spike. I’d have asked the girls, but I don’t want to them to have too much on their plate since they’re focusing so much for the routine tomorrow.”
“Good call,” he nods. “Though I’d be worried too if it meant having to be around Ms. Harshwinny constantly.
A random thunderclap punctuates that sentence and you hear someone neighing in fear just like every time someone says that name.
“I’m starting to think that isn’t a coincidence,” you mutter to yourself. As the train comes to a stop, everyling starts gathering up their stuff to get off the train. Grandbuggy and the Outcasts are in another car, as are the Deadly 6, with Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash and Bulk Biceps having their own private car for athletes.
Still nuts to think that Fluttershy’s still competing, you think honestly. Hopefully she doesn’t keep worrying over Discord back in Ponyville to mess up her game.
Putting that aside for now, you and your friends exit the train and set foot onto your cousin’s empire, which is more of a city if you want to get technical, but whatever. And as you all breathe in the cool crisp arctic air…
“Hey! Put Me Down!” Spike yells out in alarm as suddenly two crystal guard stallions scoop him up and take off with him.
You and the girls all stare wide eyed and slack jawed at this turn of events far too shocked to form any coherent response.
“Hey kiddo, whatcha all looking at?” Grandbuggy asks as he gets off the train next to you. At his words, you snap out of your funk and anger swells within you as your shards glow.
“BUCKING DRAGON NAPPERS!!!” you cry out as you rush after them. “Give Me Back My Spike!”
And as you haul ass into the Crystal Empire, not caring who you knock over in the way, Grandbuggy just sighs and shakes his head.
“Not even 15 seconds in this place and things are already going screwy.”
In the Human World
POV Change: Bugze
“…What’s wrong Bugze? Stomachache?” Sonata asks as you stare into the middle distance angrily.
“No…it’s something else,” you mutter as you shake your head.
Are you having second thoughts about this plan? Selena guesses.
Nah, I’m all for messing around with human minds, but for some reason I feel like Nightshade is chasing after boys.
Bugze, for goodness sake, she sighs and facepalms.
What? She’s far too young for that! you argue.
Would you rather the boys be chasing after her? Sombra asks bluntly.
Of course! That way it’s easier for me to kick them into the sun! When she gets running it’s hard to keep up with her!
“Is he having an argument with his head people again?” Adagio asks while you do just that.
“He does have the same glassy eyed look,” Aria points out.
“That’s because human eyes are weird and glassy! And I’m just having another conversation, I’m not deaf!” you respond indignantly.
“Okay good, we wouldn’t want you to miss our song,” Sonata chirps bubbly as you stand outside the cafeteria of Canterlot High.
Things have progressed since the Carnival and meeting with Human Celestia. It’s taken some planning and some strings getting pulled, but Hulestia was able to add a singing competition to the Friendship Games in two days. There’s been no word or sign of Midnight, but you and your solver squad are all confident that with the Dazzlings influencing the humans, there will be no way she can resist the magical pull on the day of the battle of the bands.
Which leads you to now. You, B2, the Dazzlings, Human Luna, Human Celestia, and Human Sombra are standing outside of the lunchroom, waiting for the Sirens to make their entrance and start working their charm to get more people in the singing mood. Inside, the Human 6 and Flash will help the hype train along.
“I still can’t believe we’re just going to allow our own students to be mind controlled,” Hulestia says in frustration as she puts a hand to her forehead, something she has been doing a lot of in the last few days.
“It’s not really mind control, we’re nowhere near powerful enough for that right now,” Adagio explains.
“Right now?” Celestia guffaws, but is ignored.
“Yeah, this is just some emotional influencing,” Aria handwaves, and the principal sighs again.
“Sighing ain’t gonna make it make any more sense Cel,” Humbra says plainly.
“And why are you and the jackass and his alternate universe clone here? I thought those three had it covered?” she demands pointing at you, B2 and the stoner.
“Moral support mostly,” B2 answers. “Sonata really wanted us to watch.”
“Yeah, plus we need good ol dad around to cheer us on,” Adagio trolls and Humbra grumbles.
“Mostly sister, it’s to add any extra incentive to the competition should their song itself not be enough,” Luna says and Celestia’s eye twitches.
“This is just a cover story, remember that, you aren’t reforming that bloody band again for real,” she all but seethes.
So far as she’s convinced, you think as you see B2 and Humbra scratch at the back of their necks and not look at the tall woman.
Indeed, though our new daughters should be sufficient enough on their own to convince everyone, Selena says eagerly.
Again, they’ve already got parents Selly, you think in exasperation. Sure they’re extinct and a thousand years in the past, but we’re friends with time travelers.
Fine, she harrumphs. Though if my self-righteous sister can claim family through “adopted nieces” then I can do the same.
…You know, I’d much rather prefer Adagio, Aria and Sonata calling me uncle than Cadence and Shining any day, you say thinking about how weird your family tree is. I think we need a flowchart to explain this to Nightshade when we get home, or else she’ll totally be confused.
My young overlord is much higher in intellect than you two, so she may be the one explaining it to you buffoons, Sombra mocks with a chuckle. You would insult him back, but both you and Selena suddenly feel a shiver of irony at his words.
Before you can think too much more on his words though, a pink hand slips through the door and starts waving franctically.
“Positions set, go, go, go!” Pinkie urges before zipping back into the lunchroom.
The Siren sisters all look to one another, grip their matching necklaces and take a deep breath.
“Alright girls, it’s showtime,” Adagio says with a grin. Nodding in agreement, they all start harmonizing their voices, and suddenly from nowhere you hear the familiar ethereal sound of the universe starting a musical number.
You know, it’s so common place back home, but having it happen here sure is noticeable, you ponder as the Universal background music begins and the Dazzlings stride into the cafeteria.
WHAT DO YOU DO?
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Bugze does a solo performance in his mercenary costume and does amazingly
Bugze notices Trixie in the crowd and feels guilty, so he does something to get her out of the cafeteria before the dazzlings song can get to her.
If a song is about to happen which I think it is, bugzy has to trip and ruin the song halfway through, everyone just stares, then continue the song as he just lays there on the ground.
Starts out kinda like This
Somebody else: right, don’t fuck this up, bugze, all you have to do do is do nothing
Bugle: does something
Distant explosion
10338442
Even better!
He trips, while standing completely still
10339010
ITS PERFECT. TRIPPING WHILE PERFECTLY STILL. CONFUSING AND SONG STOPPING.
"So... It may be a little late but... If they use their mumbo jumbo mind control, what stop us from getting crazy?" Ask Bugzee suddenly as he remember the many bad things that happen when he lose control
"You forgot that you have two bodyguards in your mind, also your body have enough Equestria Harmony magic to not be affected for a while" Comment Sombra inside Bugzee head
"And talking about magic, maybe it could be a good idea to let out the Boomstick so it can recharge some magic" Add Selena and thinking it's a good idea, Bugzee take it out with the Luna Plushie to recharge them.
It's not long before Bugzee seemed to notice a strange mist coming out and the necklaces of the sirens began to glow.
"So, I guess things are going okay" Comment Bugzee as he then get a flashback of the first time she meet one of the sirens and decides to get ready in case Flash Hulk Sentry appear again.
As he look around to notice Human Celestia and Luna wearing fluffy headphones with a drawing of their pony cutie marks in them.
"Did you say anything?" Ask Human Celestia
"Where did you got that?" Ask Bugzee
"We can't hear you, Young Pinkie Pie give us this saying that if we can't hear anything we could not be affected" Say Luna
As Bugzee look around he notice that the human copies of the evil six, and Sunset Shimmer except Twilight are wearing headphones with their cutie marks except Sombra and B2 that wear normal black headphones
"I... Guess everything should be okay" Say Bugzee to himself as he ignore another strange thing of the pink pony counterpart
-------
Sorry it's not much but I was not very inspired, maybe later I can add something
I wonder if b2 can trigger bugze’s plasmids.
Can we have that happen?
The students see bugze trip and drop the boom stick and the luna plushie causing it to fire in the air after barely being charged. The luna plushie also misfired and knocked out some of the crowd causing people to think a shooter situation is happening. The dazzlings magic turns the whole thing into a full blown riot. Negative magic radiates from the area.
Also there is a scene where twilight arrives and sees hippocampi, flash's voices, and a flying urinal and nopes out
Firstly, 10338668 Yes. Just,
, just all my yes. Hell have the others comment on how much this stands out and reveal it was Bugze's idea and Sonata wouldn't shut up about it and so they went with it.
Plus Bugze can't help but see those weird symbols again that feel menacing to him floating around them, much to his confusion. Even more so when he asks the others if they see it and they don't see anything at all.
Now, as for my actual comment...
So in the event that Bugze and the others have to pull off some singing of their own, cause lets face it there's no way in hell this is going to work out as plan with two Bugze's in the same place combining there luck, so I propose the following scenario:
The teens are all hyped as hell for the Battle of the Bands, and some of them are even starting to form groups as you watch. However you can't help but notice that a good potion of them, mostly the loners or other outcast looking students, seem to be immune to the bewitching song and are just either ignoring or glaring at everyone.
At first your confused by how they can resist the Siren magic, but you decide to shelve that problem for later because you need as many people in on this contest as possible to make it look legit, so you try to think of a way to tri-er motivate the lackluster students to join. Sadly the idea of threating them with a burning blaze of glory if they didn't join wasn't exactly the most legal of moves and both the beings in your head shot it down.
Thankfully you get a brilliant idea from the arguing Sombra and Humelstia, and without even telling them your brilliant plan that can not possibly backfire you kick the doors to the cafeteria open drawing everyone's attention. You call upon your old 'evil Offender' persona mood (aka Jeremy Iron's Scar from Lion King) as you let the suspense kick in as the students mumble about themselves, mentioning how your the Offender from the Wanted.
Also Jojo posing, because it would be a crime against nature not to include that. Now continuing on...
After a few seconds of glorious evil scene chewing, with help from Pinkie and her fog machine, you begin to evilly spin a tale about how you were checking out the school for your daughter and couldn't help but overhear about the contest. However you were severely disappointed at how lackluster some of the students were, as this was going to be the Battle of the ages from the looks of things. You start to do both some evil gloating and pandering to the students before giving the students a bit of incentive to join.
With the dramatic showboating you've gain over the years and more help from Pinkie pretending to be your minion, you flashly declare that the winner of the battle will not only get the chance to go head to head with The Wanted while getting a chance to tour with them, they will also be given a whole sack of gold (we still have that right? Can't remember.)
Of course this hypes the hell out of the students, even the ones unaffected by the Siren magic for whatever reason (looking closely reveals that they had headphones and such in their ears, which might explain things). However there are some people reasonably doubting you and call you out, to which you just smirk evilly as your eyes glow (thank you Selena) for effect as you show off a bag of gold from The Inventory before singing a song that drives everyone wild.
After its finished the entire cafeteria is rushing out of the place to start forming bands and such, and you smile at a job well done...well making sure to ignore the burning hole Humlestia is trying to glare through you.
I couldn't help myself, I wanted to write a hammy villain Bugze again and I saw my chance to bring it back. I make no apologies!
Anyway, as for what Bugze should sing I'm stuck about what song to do. The first thing that comes to mind is this greatness:
However I don't know if that would fit or not. Something from Skillet would work no doubt, but my minds drawing a blank. so I'll just put the above song on the table and wait to see if anyone else gets any ideas.
Someone makes a reference to fanatical fans or something, causing the earth version of one of the crimson knight generals to sneeze while looking at The Wanted Merch.
The Mangle head should be affected by the dazzling's magic and even try to sing along with the teens when singing about making a band, but only garbled cuts of random songs is heard but it still aligns up with the song
10338668
10351714
Okay Bugze needs to say this once he enters XD
As for a different song DWC? This: