Episode 75: I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues
Down With Chrysalis’s Comment
Ello Calebero’s Comment
“Everyone knows you’re supposed to wash your hooves, claws, whatever when you’re sick!” you growl as you try to rub the blueness off of your legs, but to no avail.
Cadence and Twilight then start checking themselves to make sure they haven’t started turning blue as well, but they are still purple and pink.
“To be fair, I did just kind of bathe with the whole whirlpool thing at the end of my song,” he says smugly and you grit your teeth.
“If this spreads past my legs I am going to-“
“It’s on your flanks too,” Cadence interrupts and you gasp and look at your backside. Sure enough, the blue has crept along where you hope to one day have a cutie mark.
“What in the blue buck is this?!” you shriek.
“Language!” Discord scolds but you growl back at him.
“Oh piss off! I’m going to beat you black and blue for this!”
“But I’m already blue,” he chuckles and you facehoof.
“Yeah, I know that! I wasn’t trying to make a blue pun!”
“You weren’t?” Twilight asks in surprise. “But you did so earlier when you cursed.”
“I what? What in the blue blazes are you talking about?”
“There, you did it again,” Cadence points at you and you raise a brow in confusion.
“Okay, this just totally came out of the blue and I don’t-“ your eyes widen as you realize you just did another blue pun. “What?!”
“Oh dear, seems you’ve caught the symptoms already,” Discord says in false concern. “I guess that’s why they call it the blues.”
“Ugh! That was terrible! I’ll cut you for that!” you snarl and Cadence and Twilight gasp.
“Oh? And what are you going to cut me with?”
“This crystal thing I got from a dragon who’s blu-AGH!” freaking out you start to pull out the Shard of the Bloodstone Scepter.
“Nightshade, calm down,” Twilight orders as she grabs your hoof with magic.
“But he’s got to pay his dues if he wants to sing the blues, and you know that don’t come easy!” you whine as you start thrashing about.
“Come on Nightshade, there’s no point in this,” Cadence says dotingly as she wraps her arms around your barrel and picks you up.
“Put me down Cadence! You might catch the blues too!” you shriek as you squirm out of her grip. For a brief moment though, Cadence’s leg brushes up under your scar and she hisses and shakes her hoof.
“Yowch! I think you might be getting a fever real fast too,” she says in worry.
It’s only then that you realize your shards are glowing.
Huh, didn’t realize they got hot like that, you wonder before glaring at Discord. But he’s not helping at all! If only I could rip these stupid things out and shove them down his throat!
“Oh, and now it’s gone to her ears!” Twilight groans.
“No! Not my ears!” you groan as your more and more of your dark coat starts becoming a pale blue. “Dark black is my aesthetic! I don’t want to look like Princess Luna!”
Kichi’s Comment
"You did this! This is your fault!" you accuse the draconequss. “Why couldn’t you just follow proper hygiene?!”
“And why couldn’t you have learned not to step on my blue suede shoes while we were dancing?” he counters.
“I didn’t even want to dance with you in the first place!” you grunt and stomp on the floor.
“Oh please, dancing with me is a privilege,” he trolls. “And why are you still complaining? You’ve gotten over your blue spell.”
You look back at your body and see that it is now mostly blue.
“No I haven’t!”
“I meant the involuntary blue puns and song lyrics,” he shrugs before coughing into his fist.
“Well take it off me already!”
“In my condition? I might just make it worse,” he says as if he actually felt guilty. “Besides, it’s not even reaching your chest.”
“Huh, he’s right,” Twilight says curiously and you look down for yourself.
There is about a three inch barrier from where your scarf covers and the encroaching blueness which seems to have stopped.
Right, right, he did say something about Umbrum magic and Chaos magic not working well with each other, you think as you remember your talk at the spa.
“I wonder why it isn’t spreading there so uniformly?” Twilight wonders and your pupils shrink. You look back at Discord and see he is giving you a knowing smirk.
Oh you little…Grrr!
“It, uh, it must be my scarf!” you lie. “Daddy always did say that scarfs helped ward off germs, heh heh.”
“…I guess that explains the giant scarf he always wore…on top of the witness protection thingy,” she shrugs and you internally sigh in relief.
“Oh, if that’s the case, perhaps you should take the scarf off and share it with me? Might help my condition?” Discord insinuates.
“No! You’ve spread enough germs! I’ll end this plague right here and now!” you say as you start to bring out your Dark Cannon, but Twilight once again stops you.
“Nightshade! I know you’re upset, but calm down and take a few deep breaths okay?”
“How’s breathing going to help?! I’ll just breathe in more of his germs, if they exist at all!” you argue back and she frowns.
“I said calm down or else I won’t let you play with Spike for a month,” she says with crossed legs and you gasp, suddenly losing all anger in Discord.
“You can’t do that!” you cry out and she looks at you sternly.
“Do you really want to take that risk? I’d make sure he was too busy for you,” she says authoritatively.
“But that is blackmail!” you groan and look at Cadence. “Come on Cadence, she can’t do that right? That’s abuse of authority and child labor bordering on slavery!”
Everyone, including Discord looks at you curiously.
“What?! She said she’s make him too busy!” you point out.
“I was just insinuating I’d send him on vacation to Canterlot or something but that…” Twilight seems taken aback.
“Where did that abuse of authority and child labor sentence come from?” Cadence asks.
“The Cutie Mark Crusaders tried to become lawyers at one point, but the books were boring, so we just watched Law and Order.”
You all take a moment to look around for where that sound effect even came from, but the answer is clear when you see Discord snickering.
“But yeah we gave up on that because there’s a million seasons of that show and nopony got time for that.”
“It seems like some things stuck around though,” Cadence says impressed.
“Eh, not my fault. It was Sweetie Belle’s idea anyway, and it was also her idea to drop it in the end.”
“It’s hard to get a read on that filly,” Twilight nods.
“Oh? Coming from the filly who memorized those same law books to try and convince her parents to stay up past her bed time just so she could read more books?” Cadence teases and Twilight flusters.
"Cadence, please! Don't tell her that!” she moans and you smirk.
“Why not? It’s funny,” she counters and Twilight bristles.
“Because it’s embarrassing and she’s my student!”
“Yeah, well it got her to calm down better than you trying to be a strict mom,” Cadence laughs.
“I was just trying to sound stern like when I upset Princess Celestia! And fine, if we’re talking embarrassing secrets, why don’t I tell her about the “accident” with my brother and the cotton candy machine?”
At that Cadence’s cheeks turn red and she starts to chuckle nervously.
“Heh heh, there’s no need to bring that up Twilight…”
"Hello? Poor sick Draconequus here, can't you help little ol’ me?" he says, now sitting atop the giant throne thing.
“Can it! That sounds like some juicy gossip!” you hush as you stare expectantly at Cadence.
“Well! No need to keep Discord waiting! The sooner we get that flower, the sooner we can cure both him and Nightshade!” Cadence says over enthusiastically as she rushes over to the harness and puts it on.
“But I wanted to hear about the cotton candy!” you whine and look back at Twilight who smirks.
“Maybe later…but yes, try to keep calm and be…tolerable to Discord okay?”
You look back at him and see him patting a pile of cushions next to him invitingly.
“Oh, but it’s going to be hard…And don’t think that blackmailing me with Spike’s fate will make it any eas-“
“And if you do, I’ll even give him a whole week off to spend with you.”
In the blink of an eye, you are sitting on the cushions next to Discord.
“Daylights burning, let’s go teach!” you holler.
You see her smile and shake her head good naturedly as she starts to get into her own harness.
“…You know, you are far too easy to comply when it comes that dragon,” Discord observes.
“No I’m not!” you shoot back and look away from him, causing him to chuckle.
“Well my dear sick buddy, how about some entertainment? I heard about your comic book adventure, so how about some out of print cult favorites?” he says as he snaps his fingers and a box of the ‘Dark Offender’ comic that was written by that mental patient in Arkhay Asylum.
“No thanks, already lived through them,” you say pushing it aside. “Besides, they’re highly inaccurate.”
“Most adaptations are,” he shrugs as she relaxes on his chair. It’s only now that you look from this giant throne to Cadence and Twilight who are finishing cinching their harnesses.
“Okay, I know we have to get this stupid flower because you don’t wash your hands,” you say looking at your own blue hooves. “But why are we traveling like this?”
“What? It’s not as if YOU could fly right?” he insinuates and you bristle.
“Stop trying to spill my secrets!” you hiss back at him and he smirks.
“Oh, I wouldn’t dream of it,” he says sounding offended and you just roll your eyes. “Besides that’s something YOU should admit to…And to answer your question, it’s easier to point out the flower than to hope that they could find it, so we HAVE to come along.”
“But this could take forever, I mean, they’re the two smallest princesses. Why not get Celestia to fly you with her giant wings? Or heck, just get Rainbow Dash to fly out and get it, she’d be much quicker.”
“Would you honestly trust those two with finding your life saving medicine?” he asks seriously. You are about to answer, but then close your mouth and think about it some more.
“…Good point,” you nod. “But seriously, now that you and I are alone kind of, is this all for real? Are you really sick or just messing with us?”
“Why not both?” he smirks before looking crestfallen. “What, do you not think I’m really sick?”
Down With Chrysalis’s Comment
“Of course I do,” you nod and your eyes widen.
WHAT?!
“Oh, that’s good to hear, thank you Nighthsade, and I’m so sorry I got you sick as well.”
Oh like buck you’re sorry, you think, but when you speak…
“I know you’re sorry, don’t worry about it.”
What is going on?! That’s not what I wanted to say!
“Everything okay back there you two?” Cadence asks looking at you and Discord.
“Of course, couldn’t be better, except for the flu that is,” he handwaves.
No! Nothing’s alright! I’m speaking in opposites!
“Yes, Everything’s fine, I’m saying what I mean.”
ARGH!
You turn and smile at Discord, even though you try to give him a death glare.
“Well thank goodness she calmed down,” Twilight sighs in relief. “Now, let’s get going.”
And with that the two of them lift into the air, along with the chariot, though you see there is some effort put into it.
“Splendid, we’ll be healed in no time,” he claps before sneezing into a hanky. “Oh and I know you’re on to the “Opposites” side effect, but don’t worry, it shall pass soon.”
You motherbucker! I’ll kill you!
“You wonderful creature, I like you,” you actually say and give him a hug when you really wanted to strangle him.
“Dawww, looks like they’ve made up,” you hear Cadence say from up ahead and you want to grimace, but you end up smiling more.
“I guess it’s a good time for affection as any since you’re already sick,” Discord jokes and you scream in your head. “Though I must say, you are far stronger than I-URK!”
Kill Softer, Kill Softer, Kill Softer, Kill Softer!
“Hug Harder, Hug Harder, Hug Harder, Hug Harder!” you say as you ensnare him in such a tight grip that his eyes start to bulge out of his head like a cartoon.
“Okay! Maybe I can help with this symptom!” he struggles to say as he snaps his fingers.
“I bucking hate you!” you say, matching your thoughts and you smile genuinely. “There, that’s better. “ And with that, you let him go and he inhales loudly and coughs more.
“What was that?” asks Twilight.
“He swallowed a bug,” you lie and he gives you the stink eye.
“Close your mouth Discord!” Cadence warns. “We don’t need you choking before we get there.”
“Yeah Discord, close your mouth,” you say smugly.
“Maybe I should,” he pouts. “Although you probably won’t in a minute because you’ll enter the song portion of the side effects.”
Skiny Pony’s Comment
“What song po-I’m blue, daba dee daba die! Daba dee daba die.”
“And there it goes,” he smirks and you look at him aghast.”
“Why are you like this? Daba dee daba die?!”
“Chaos,” he says with a chuckle before coughing.
Changer T Emerald’s Comment
You try to tell him off for that lame excuse, but once again those lyrics escape you like they did when you first found out you were blue.
Ugh! Why won’t Twilight let me make you bleed?! You think in frustration as you close your mouth, refusing to sing. Well if I can’t cut you, then I’ll hurt you another way. Daddy’s always bleeding from his nose when mares say weird grown up stuff. Maybe I can get Discord to see Fluttershy in her socks since he likes her and then he’ll lose some blood and I’ll win! Yes!
You then wonder how in the heck you are going to convince Fluttershy of all ponies to agree to that now that she’s no longer a vampire, and also out of town seeing the Breezies.
And what’s the deal with mares wearing socks? Why does that excite stallions so much? You wonder briefly.
“A lot on your mind there honey bunny?” Discord asks in a sickeningly sweet tone.
“Yes because I’m blu-AGH!” you clamp your mouth shut and he giggles.
Kichi’s Comment
You know what? Fine! His stupid “sickness” is making me sing? I’ll sing! I’ll use that psycho-something torture on him like that guy in that wargame Button played. Discord will be begging me to know what the numbers mean!
And with that, as you all soar through the sky, you embrace the song and continually spout out it’s annoyingly catchy lyrics…but Discord doesn’t seem to be phased by it, not even hours later. The same cannot be said though for Cadence and Twilight.
“AGH! Discord! Can’t you do something?”Twilight cries.
“I can’t get the song out of my head! Please stop Nightshade!” Cadence begs and you feel a pang of guilt.
“I’ll try, but there might be other side effects later,” he warns.
Wait, what?
“Do it!” Twilight orders. He shrugs and grins as he snaps his fingers and you stop singing.
“Oh thank Celestia,” Cadence sighs as she takes her hooves from her ears.
“Shame, I love a good tune on a road trip,” Discord mumbles while you pant and sit back next to him.
“What side effects are going to happen?” you ask and he shrugs.
“Who knows? It could be nothing, or it could be something from the deepest recesses of the Candy Stallion,” he chuckles and you look at him in horror.
“What the buck?! I thought you didn’t kill?!”
“Say what now?” he asks in confusion.
“The Candy Stallion guts you with a hook if you say his name five times in a mirror and he has bees in his chest! That movie was disturbing!”
“What movies are you watching at such a young age?” he says in shock. “I was talking about a lovely family film about a chocolate factory.”
“…Oh,” you say calming down a bit before your pupils shrink again. “So I’m going to drown in chocolate and get thrown into a furnace by giant geese?”
“…Let’s uh, let’s not think too hard on that,” he says clearly disturbed by your questions. “I was legitimately trying to cheer you up there by what I thought was a nice whimsical reference.”
“Well, it failed,” you sigh before looking back at him. “And really, why are you doing all this? You know what’s going on with me, so why are you messing with me when I’m so dangerous?”
“Are you now?” he asks seriously. “Because the way I see it, your mind and annoyance is being well controlled, even as I irk you. From what I saw before, you used to lose control at the drop of a hat and go all out.”
“I’ve…I’ve gotten better about that,” you say shyly and look at the ground.
“Indeed. So the question is, am I being a troll for troll’s sake? Yes. But am I also helping you reign in your crystal monster? Maybe?” he shrugs. “That’s up for you to decide.”
You stare incredulously at the God of Chaos and just shake your head.
“I really don’t get you Discord.”
“That’s the point,” he nods.
“If you want to help someone, just help them, it’s as easy as that,” you point out.
“But the easy way and the fun way aren’t always the same,” he smirks and you sigh.
“Even though you said you tried to get these shards out when I first got them?” you accuse and he stiffens up and avoids eye contact.
“I never said I enjoyed suffering,” he mumbles. “A bit of frustration and a tad of misery, but never suffering.”
“…And what about my Dad and my Mom? Haven’t they suffered enough?” He goes quiet at that, even as you continue to stare at him. “We all are suffering because the whole world hates us, but you could solve that with your powers.”
“How do you figure that?” he asks.
“Well…I don’t know, you could show the truth.” He huffs at that and shakes his head.
“I already told you, ponies are stubborn. I gave them back their true memories of that day we first met, and yet it changed nothing.”
“But maybe we could show everyone that my Mommy’s not evil, you have the power to-“
“To mind control them and make them see reason?” he accuses and you falter.
“Well, uh-“
“Because at this point, that’s the only way Celestia, Luna, or even Twilight over there would ever accept it. And I promised Fluttershy I wouldn’t do such a thing again…Forcing it on her in that maze still felt wrong, even to me.”
“Well, couldn’t you at least be able to give my Mom and Sombra bodies of their own?” you ask and he raises a brow at you.
“Oh, is that why you’ve been going around collecting trinkets?”
“Uh…” you trail off realizing your slip and he grins.
“Don’t worry, I won’t tell. I’m assuming that’s why your pops has disappeared from this reality then…but no matter. To answer your question, no, no I can’t.”
“But why not? You’re a god so…Please?” you say breaking out the weapons grade puppy dog eyes.
“Shade, I drink tea with cuteness personified, that isn’t going to work on me,” he dismisses your look coldly and you balk at him. “And for starters, both your mom and that crystal obsessed dictator utilize Shadow and Umbrum magic, which as we’ve established, doesn’t work well with my own.”
“Oh…” you say, having not even thought of that angle.
“And besides, your whole family is just as chaotic as me. Trying to solve chaos with more chaos would be akin to cutting your hoof with your own magic.”
“…So is it impossible then?”
“I only said I couldn’t,” he corrects. “Whatever egg hunt you’ve been on though, someone obviously knows what they’re doing.”
You let out a sigh at that.
“I guess…Well if you can’t help with that, could you at least just be nice and make our Luck better?” At that he shudders.
“Nightshade, there are things even I don’t dare dabble in. Lady Luck being one of them.”
“Wait, so she’s real?” you ask.
“Of course she is. Who did you think you were constantly cursing at the air at with your father?”
“I kind of just thought we were yelling for the sake of yelling really,” you say as you rub the back of your neck.
“Yeah, well she is real,” he nods. “And your family has the stench of one of her curses.”
“But why? What did we ever do to her?” you ask in desperation.
“I have no clue, but I’d ask your Great Grandfather when you get the chance. Curses like this go back through the bloodline,” he instructs.
You stare at him silently in shock as that information takes root in your brain.
So all our bad luck…it’s actually has a source?
Discord even gives you a comforting pat on the shoulder.
“Don’t take it too hard kiddo. Most folks go their lives with both good and bad. Because of your family though, you’re just on that dark end of the spectrum, while some ponies get ALL the luck,” he all but spits while looking at Twilight.
“…Lady Luck helps Twilight?” you ask.
“What, you think it was a coincidence that she was there the night your momma came to bring eternal night?” he questions.
“Well, I kind of thought that was because Celestia set it all up,” you say remembering your mom’s explanations on that fateful night.
“Okay yes there was that, but there was no way she set up all of the Element Bearers living in the same town. Twilight strolled into town and in one night met her five best friends in the whole world and went through the Everfree without a scratch and received the overpowered rainbow death laser gems.”
“…Huh,” you say completely at a loss for words.
“And if you get any ideas of punching her in the gob, take my advice and don’t. A potty mouthed little brat you may be, but I do have a fondness for you.”
You let his comment slide as you think through the little bit you’ve learned.
I’ve gotta have a conversation with Grandbuggy when I get back.
Down With Chrysalis’s Comment
Up in the Front
Cadence and Twilight, having heard none of your conversation, continue to fly towards the badlands as the scenery starts to get more and more sandy.
Cadence keeps looking back occasionally in worry and Twilight raises an eyebrow at her.
“You okay Cadence?” she asks.
“Y-Yeah I’m okay,” she says in a tone that betrays her words. Seeing Twilight see through that lame excuse she sighs and says, “Okay, truthfully I’m just worried about Nightshade.”
“I understand, I’m worried about her too,” Twilight nods as she looks back at you and Discord seemingly having a calm conversation. “She’s a tough little filly, but this blue flu is troubling, especially if it’s infected Discord.”
“R-Right, the flu thing!” Cadence stutters as if she had forgotten about that. “Well even with that added I feel like I just want to have her stay in bed and drink some tea.”
“I think she’ll be fine…though you said you met her before and BST?”
“Y-Yes I did,” Cadence smiles nervously.
“Well you know she’s stronger than the average filly then,” Twilight points out.
“I know…but I can’t help worrying,” Cadence admits. Strangely, Twilight feels a bit jealous that Cadence is doting on you so much. As your teacher, she feels like it should be HER job to worry.
“…Are you and Shiny trying to have kids?” Twilight asks suddenly.
“Wh-What?! Where did that come from?!” Cadence stutters in embarrassment.
“Well you keep doting on Nightshade like an overprotective relative, and I thought maybe you were just wanting to be a mother already,” Twilight explains plainly.
“Well yes we want to have kids eventually, but we’re waiting till the right moment,” Cadence admits and Twilight smirks.
“Hopefully it’s soon, I think I’d make a great aunt. Also Mom and Dad are already aching for Grandkids.”
“Well if you’re not careful, you might beat us to it,” Cadence smirks.
“What?! What’s that supposed to mean?!” Twilight flushes.
“I’ve seen how you look at Flash,” she insinuates and Twilight starts to become a dribbling mess.
Back With You
The carriage suddenly drops about ten feet causing turbulence on the throne.
“Ouch! What’s going on up there?!”
“Nothing!” Twilight shouts back, red as a tomato for some reason.
“Everything’s fine, just a hiccup in flying,” Cadence excuses. “How are you feeling Nightshade? Need a warmth spell or a napping spell?”
“I’m fine,” you call back before looking to Discord. “That’s like the fifth time she’s asked.”
“Relatives like to spoil the little ones,” he laughs.
“Yeah, but it’s kind of weird. She doesn’t even know we’re related yet and she’s acting more aggressive on it than even Granny Smith or Applejack did when they found out.”
“Hold on a second, she doesn’t know?” Discord says in surprise. “I thought she was one of the ones in the know.”
“Yeah, well, Daddy never got around to telling her,” you say rubbing the back of your neck. “I was going to tell her today until you showed up and wrecked my plans!”
“Well excuse me for being sick,” he harrumphs before putting a finger to his chin. “But I see now why she’s acting so fruit loopy. I have an idea…”
Awhile Later
After entering the Badlands proper, Discord has Cadence and Twilight land because he thinks that the flower is nearby.
While unhitching and looking around, Discord enacts the plan he told you about.
“ACHOO!” you sneeze loudly, courtesy of some pepper from Discord. And with that cue, “You” suddenly blow up like a certain filly in a certain horrifying “Family” movie in a chocolate factory.
“Oh my gosh! Nightshade!” Twilight and Cadence yelp as the inflated you yells out,
“COOKIES!!!”
And then suddenly some strange orange ponies with green manes pop out of the ground, start singing and dancing about gum and start pushing you towards a suddenly existing chocolate lake.
“Get back here!” Twilight calls out to the short orange stallions, and Cadence is about to follow suit, but the real you grabs her by the hoof.
“Easy Cadence, that’s not really me,” you say pointing to the blueberry who is now bobbing in the lake as Twilight tries to blast at the orange ponies.
“What? But what’s…what?!” she stammers looking between you and Discord who sniffles.
“You and the brat are due a conversation, so even in my defenseless, sickened state, I decided to generously and kindly help,” he says dramatically as he lies across his pillows.
“Yeah, he’s kind of in the know, so I thought now would be as good a time as any without Twilight around,” you say.
“Nightshade! Stop trying to drink the lake!” Twilight yells out to illusion in the distance.
“And Discord knows too?” Cadence says in alarm looking at the god. “Why do I feel like I’m the last to know?”
“Because you kind of are,” you chuckle nervously. “And since we don’t have much time, let’s start with this…”
The Pony Spartan’s Comment
Kichi’s Comment
And with that, you pull back your scarf so that she has a better look at the amulet inside your skin.
"Oh my!" Cadence says with a hoof to her mouth.
“Yeah, it’s not pretty,” you admit as she leans in and looks at the shards, which are glowing even now.
“This…this is…The Alicorn Amulet,” she gasps as she looks to you in terror.
"Yeah, and it’s not very fun,” you say plainly. “So, uh... Have any idea how to get rid of this without telling the other Princesses?"
“I, well…perhaps,” she says as she looks it over. “It was made in the Crystal Empire, but it utilized Umbrum Magic. There might some leads, perhaps even King Sombra left some notes about it, but I don’t know for sure.”
You sigh and nod at that.
“That’s what Daring Do and Zecora were leaning towards,” you admit.
“How long has this been here? And how are you not corrupted like what happened with that Lulamoon mare?” she asks in worry.
“It’s been there since that incident at Rainbow Falls, which I’ll explain when we have time,” you tell her. “But I don’t know about the corruption thing. Mostly I just lose control of my emotions quicker, like Daddy.”
“Oh my…do you draw on it’s power like this?”
“Sometimes. When I do I get like, a lot more powerful than usual, but again I kind of lose control and go a little nuts,” you say with a wince of guilt remembering the forest.
Cadence looks from you to the lazing god.
“Discord, can’t you-“
“Already tried Princess,” he cuts her off. “Believe me, I’ve tried.”
Biting her lip at that response, she looks back to you in determination.
"We'll get this fixed, I promise," she says as she puts a hoof on your shoulder.
“I figured as much,” you tell her with a smile. “I really am getting sick of being jealous and angry all the time.”
“Who’s to say that that’s the amulet’s doing?” Discord speaks up.
“Huh?”
“You say your emotions are out of control? Every filly and colt goes through that,” he snickers.
“They do?” you ask incredulously.
"Of course. You see Nightshade, when fillies like yourself grow up, at a certain point they start to think certain colts or dragons are more than just cute because their hormones begin to-“
“Discord!” Cadence yelps, silencing him. “She’s far too young to be going through that!”
“How can we tell with her? She’s technically only really four years old right?”
“What?!” Cadence says looking at you.
“It’s complicated…and I really don’t get it either,” you admit.
“…Well even still, Discord, if there is even a shred of decency inside of you that considers this filly a friend, then I’m begging you, please don’t make her think puberty and dark magic are synonymous!” she pleads intensely.
“Alright, alright, calm down, it was just a little joke. I knew you would stop me, that’s the punch line!” he defends as sweat beads on his forehead.
“Good. I had to go through that once already with Twilight when she was younger and I’m not going to deal with misinformation again!”
“What misinformation? What’s Purbetory or whatever you said?” you butt in.
“Uh…”
“And don’t you dare say-“
“We’ll explain when you’re older.”
“Gorrammit!!!”
“What the-Where did Nightshade and the lake go?!” Twilight shouts in the distance. Looking over, you see her surrounded by sand and rock and nothing else.
“Shoot, she finished off that illusion fast,” Discord harrumphs.
“Great, now I’ve gotta leave Cadence in suspense again,” you grumble, and Cadence groans as well.
“To heck with that,” Discord says before he poofs up a milkshake with two straws in front of you.
“Uh, what’s this supposed to-“ Cadence starts but Discord interrupts her.
“It’s an abridgement shake. Drink up already so we can stop prolonging this endeavor,” he orders and looks to you. “Think about your story and drink up fast.”
With nothing better to do, you drink from the straw, as does Cadence. It’s actually pretty tasty, with hints of chocolate and peanut butter. When you finish, you don’t feel like anything’s occurred, but Cadence is holding her head and rolling on the ground moaning.
“What the heck is going on? Nightshade?” Twilight suddenly says in confusion, coming across the scene.
“Oh hey Twilight, glad to see you’ve come out of your hallucination, but Cadence is…”
“Having brain freeze,” Discord finishes for you.
“I was hallucinating? But it felt so real? Am I getting sick too?” Twilight ponders aloud before shaking her head. “And what do you mean brainfreeze?”
“We were having milkshakes,” Discord says. “Thought they might help with the flu.”
“Obviously not,” you say as you’re still blue. And while Twilight helps the still panting and wincing Cadence to sit up, Discord leans down and whispers in your ear.
“That much information pushed directly in her brain isn’t a pleasant experience, but it gets the job done.”
After awhile though, Cadence stops groaning and opens her eyes…which are full of tears.
“Cadence, are you alright?” Twilight asks her sister in law.
“Y-yes…Yes I’m fine now,” she says with a tired voice as she looks you right in the eye with a sad smile. “Nightshade…”
The tenderness, sadness, guilt, and acceptance is prevalent in her tone as she seemingly stares directly into your soul.
Did…did it actually work? You wonder with hope.
Down With Chrysalis’s Comment
The Pony Spartan’s Comment
WARGAMES’s Comment
“Ahem!” Discord interrupts this beautiful moment with a cough. “Now that your brain’s thawed Princess, can we get back to me? Still sick, and so is Nightshade, and look, the flower is right over there.”
Following his pointed talon, you do indeed see a flower growing out of the desert by it’s lonesome.
“…Well that’s convenient,” Twilight says. “Let’s grab it before you and I start turning blue Cadence. I’m already suffering from hallucinations apparently and your random freakout is worrying.”
“R-Right,” Cadence nods, but not before giving you a long, meaningful look. The two of them then fly over to the flower, leaving you alone with Discord again.
“And there you go kiddo, now she’s all up to speed and you don’t have to waste another chapter of your life catching her up,” he says plainly.
You bite your lip at that, and shuffle your hooves a bit. You then wince, and let out a sigh before giving his leg a hug which surprises him.
“Uh…what are you-“
“That was a very nice thing you did, and I’m very, very thankful, so just shut up and take the hug!” you order as you keep embracing him.
“Oh, well…N-No problem,” he says sounding touched and surprised as he pats your back. “I, uh, well I thought maybe I could help in some small way,” he chuckles nervously.
“And you did,” you nod before letting go of him. “So keep acting like that more and I just might come around to liking you.”
He looks at you in stunned silence at this and taps his paws and talons together.
“Well, I um…I’ll see what I can do,” he says before suddenly the ground begins to rumble and his eyes widen.
“What the buck is that? An earthquake?” you ask as you try to steady yourself.
“Oh right…” Discord says as he looks back to Twilight and Cadence who both fly into the air as a giant purple worm emerges and roars, displaying a mouthful of tentacles.
“AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!” Cadence and Twilight scream.
“WHAT THE BUCK IS THAT?!” you shriek as the worm starts attempting to snatch the alicorns out of the sky.
“That’s a tatzulwurm…and the flower grows on it’s head,” Discord says sheepishly and you look at him in disbelief.
“Discord, what the buck?! I just hugged you and said you were alright!” you accuse and he shrinks back.
“Yes, yes I know you did, but this was kind of supposed to be a surprise and I didn’t expect you to show gratitude and-“
“Oh my gods!” you groan as you look away from him and at Cadence and Twilight who begin battling the thing in earnest.
“L-Look, yes it’s a dangerous creature, but I know Twilight and Cadence can handle it. Even if they can’t, I’m still here to ensure nothing gets out of hand,” he excuses.
“With you being sick? That’s irresponsible as buck!” you say with a scowl.
“W-well I’m actually no-“
“AGH!” Cadence shouts and you see her grappled by a tentacle. Your mind immediately flashes to Rainbow Falls and the plant monster and you grit your teeth. Your shards begin to glow brighter but you thump your chest.
“NO! I am not losing control here! I can beat that thing the old fashioned way!” you say in determination as you pull out your Junk Jet and force Discord into it with your magic.
“H-Hey! What is this?” he complains.
“My junk jet. It fires projectiles of junk, which is what you are after all,” you scold and his ears wilt.
“Would it help if I said sorry?” he says meekly.
“If you’re really sorry, you’ll help me beat the gummy worm down!” you say as your eyes faintly glow white. “In other words, make sure I don’t lose control in front of Twilight.”
“…I can do that,” he nods. “Now if you’ll just take me out of the-YAAAGGGHHH!!!” You launch him towards the creature, and he strikes him right in the eye, which causes the thing to let go of Cadence.
“Discord? How did you-“ Twilight starts before you interrupt her with a whistle. Everyone, including the Tatzulwurm look to you as you load up a rock and pull out your power pole.
“Yo Earthworm Jim…Do you want to have a bad time?” you say with a malicious smile.
WHAT DO YOU DO?
Hey Hive Mind,
Time to fight a giant worm. I hope to see plenty of Dune/Beetlejuice/Other Giant Worm references. But yeah, have fun with the fight, but remember, Nightshade’s trying to keep herself from giving into the power boost. And let’s be honest, after the fight with the giant plant monster, what’s a Tatzulwurm comparatively?
Once again, here’s the Inventory
INVENTORY
Weapons
8 Jars of Laughter
Dark Cannon (Laser Gun with Limited Shots)
Junk Jet (Cannon that Launches Junk)
Mallet and Stake
Power Pole
Scone of Bludgeoning
Artifacts
Bloodstone Scepter Shard
Golden Idol of Boreas
Magical Power Ponies Comic
Petrified Dragon Egg
Piece of Nightmare Moon Armor
Ring of Scorchero
Miscellaneous
Assorted Movies, Videogames and Videogame Systems
Daring Do's Pith Helmet
Ocarina (Might be able to manipulate weather?)
Mangle, Plush Robot Fox Pet
Rubber Quesadilla
I’ll see you next chapter everyone, and be safe out there during these crazy times.
Brown Dog.
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‘Megalovania intensifies’
Throw a jar of laughter into the worms throat , and tie the beast’ mouth shut with its tentacles.
After seemingly frying the worm with your attack, the giant husk collapses in a giant heap.
You all turn to see discord celebrating
and hear him say that he was faking all along
You all want to beat him up but you hear a large crack
"That won't save you now discord!"
"Umm guys that wasn't me"
"Whadaya m-"
CRACK
You all slowly turn to look at the tatzlewurm to se it burst open.
You see it rise up, frozen by awe as its majestic wings spread.
The thin membrane filtering the light of the setting sun in a beautiful array of colors.
You notice a damp spot on your cheek. You realize your crying at the sight. You all are except discord who is looking very worried.
"Oh, no."
"What is that?"
"A tatzlefly"
"And what's so scary about it?"
"Ever seen monsters vs aliens?"
Your eyes widen in realization
"Oh no."
You turn back and see that the wings have hardened already the texture looking more like metal or glass. It slowly turns to face the group.
https://m."RRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!"
As the fight continue, the Tatzlwurm head open like a flower and tentacles come out from the new mouth as they capture Twilight and Cadence, making Discord look with attention.
"Is this going to where I think so?" Ask Discord as he look the tentacles approaching the mouth of Cadence and Twilight and other tentacles reaching behind them, only for them being covered in a pink fire making them retreat inside the mouth of the Tatzlwurm and dropping both alicorns to the floor.
"What was that?" Ask Nightshade and Twilight at the same time.
"You'll know when you are a adult" Say Cadence and Discord at the same time, looking at each other to the eyes and laughing a little
"It's in times like this that I miss my old pal Beetlejuice, he could love to take this worm as a pet" Say Discord as he look at the Tatzlwurm.
"Beetlejuice? Who is Beetlejuice?" Ask Nightshade as at the sound of a lighting, a thunder crash near them and a stallion appear making Nightshade think it's Zecora only to notice that is only a suit that look like her as he has yellow eyes similar to Discord and look like her daddy early morning.
"It's show time!" Say the stallion laughing
"That is Beetlejuice" Say Discord pointing to the stallion
"But why did this Beetlejuice appeared here? And if he is your friend, why did we not see him before?" Ask Nightshade
"Is because to summon him, you need to say Beetlejuice three times" Say Discord with a smile as a thunder hit the stallion and disappear.
"But then, why is this Beetlejuice disappeared again? Did you not say that if you say Beetlejuice three times he is summoned?" Ask Nightshade surprised
"Because just like you summon Beetlejuice *Thunder sound again* to summon him, you can un-summon him again by saying Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice *Thunder sound again* and he is forced to return to wherever he was" Say Discord
"So, you say that to summon him we only need to say Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice?" Say Nightshade as the thunder sound again and the strange stallion appear again, only this time he seem a little tired.
"Seriously? How many times does he need to say it to you, if you say my name three times you summon me, and if you say it again you un-summon me, is that hard to understand? Seriously, it's like I was made a joke" Groan the stallion
"So... I just need to say Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice to make you disappear?" Ask Nightshade as a thunder hit the stallion again making him disappear.
"See? It's very easy to say Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice" Say Discord with a smile as he contain his laughter and another thunder make the stallion appear.
"Seriously? I'm getting tired of summoning and un-summoning me... You know what? I have something to say to you... Discord, Discord, Discord! Nightshade Nightshade Nightshade" Another thunder hit Discord and Nightshade this time as they both disappear and appear in the middle of a dessert as they could see worms ten times bigger that the Tatzlwurm coming from them and having another worm inside of them, as they are frozen in fear they can't move as the worms approach to eat them but before they are devoured, another thunder hit them and they re-appear again in front of the Tatzlwurm as Twilight and Cadence continue fighting it and did not notice anything while the stallion was smoking a cigar.
"Seriously, it's getting tired getting summoned and un-summoned..." Groan the stallion
"Yeah... You are right... Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice" Say Nightshade as she un-summon him and look at Discord.
"Pinkie Promise that we will never say his name again for a long time unless it's a emergency?"Ask Nightshade as Discord nod with the head
"Hope to fly, Bla bla bla..." Say Discord nodding and only saying the first part of the Pinkie Promise
"We will go with that..." Say Nightshade
"Any good idea?" Ask Discord
"We could maybe do like Shadow of the Alicorn (Colossus) or the Alicorn (God) of War and escalate the worm, or maybe try to find a weak point and cut it in two, or throw some explosions to his mouth" Say Nightshade
"Or we could wait and let Twilight and Cadence battle for us, with that being a worm I don't want it to multiply into many worms if we cut it in two or make it explode into pieces" Say Discord as Nightshade agree
--------------
Most of the post is a bad joke about Beetlejuice, so there is not much. The last lines are just discarded ideas to not make the fight more hard
When you finish with the worm, and discord tells you he’s not sick, take everything he asked for, you know lossenges glass of water etc. mash it into the junk jet, and fire it at his eye/nads/throat/him
ON WITH THE SHOW!!!!
As you stare up to the giant worm it roars and dives toward you. Thinking quickly you extend your power pole pushing yourself up into the air. The worm looks up in surprise as you pull out your mallet and slam it into its head. However, to your surprise you see the worm shrug off the attack like nothing.
“How in the?” You ask as it continues to dive and burrows back into the ground.
“Nightshade! Stay back! That thing could eat you!” Twilight shouts, you roll your eyes and extend your power pole to the ground, it breaks through the earth and makes a steady post. With grace, you land on top of the pole much to everyone’s surprise.
“Did you forget who I am, Miss Twiliiii-!” Your sentence is interrupted as the worm resurfaces with its mouth ensnared around the base of the power pole. “Hey! Let go you jerk!” You shout as you fire a magic missile to the beast's face. It grunts in surprise as the blast hits, releasing the pole. You retract the pole and prepare to summon your wings when Discord conjures a yellow cloud beneath you breaking your fall.
“It’s a Tatzelwurm! Its skin is nearly as strong as dragon scales! Making it mostly magic resistant!” Twilight shouts as she and Cadence fly to you.
“Greatttt.” You moan. You look over to Discord who points to his wings as they disappear. “Right, no alicorn forms around Twilight. Probably for the best too, I might give in to the amulet easier in that form.” You think. Suddenly Discord is lifted off the ground as the worm bursts underneath him. He spawns a jetpack and flies upward only for one of the tentacles to grab him and hurl him toward a nearby rock pillar. The two princesses wince as he crashes into the rock making a draconequus shaped hole. The worm roars once again as it leaps up at you.
“Ahh move!” You shout you prepare to hitch a ride on one of the alicorns when suddenly the cloud beneath you jolts right and makes you fall on your back. “Woah!” You gasp as the worm dives back down into the earth. “Okay, that was weird.” Discord appears next to you in an orange robe with a red dot on his forehead and his horns and mane shaved down.
“Well, we needed to complete your Sun Wukong outfit. I mean you already have to outrageous powers, power pole, and the emotion shard in your chest.” Discord says pointing to your scarf. You look at him confused, “What, you thought I was going to compare you to that muscle headed Kakarot buffoon?” Your attention is cut short when you hear a scream, you turn to see the worm resurface one again and try to eat your cousin.
“Cadence!” Twilight shouts as she teleports a boulder between the two, filling the worm's mouth full of rock.
“Thanks for the save,” Cadence says as they regroup near you. The worm jaw snaps crushing the rock to pieces and roars in your direction. “Talk about a loudmouth.” She says as the worm swallows the debris.
“Ugh, I may be hungry eater but even I wouldn’t eat rock!” You shout in disgust.
“I don’t think he’s eating it.” Discord says summoning a giant pie pan as a shield. The worm mouth puffs up before it turns towards you and fires off rocks toward you like a cannon.
“Nimbus dodge!” Discord shouts as the pebbles reach you, the cloud moves on its own and begins to dodge the rocks with great speed.
“Gahh!” You shout as you cling to the cloud with all you have. Twilight and Cadence summon a barrier of magic that blocks the rapid-fire.
“Nightshade! Just say or think what you want the Nimbus to do! It’ll do the rest!” Discord shouts poking his head out from the pan. A stray rock hits him in the face making his muzzle spin around his head.
“How am I supposed to do that when it's going too fast!” You shout suddenly the cloud begins to slow down. “Oh neat. Um, Nimbus fly me in close!” You say as the cloud changes direction toward the worm. You hear the princesses cry out in alarm however you pull out your power pole and twirl it like a mad filly deflecting shot after shot. The worm roars as you approach, thinking quickly you zip around the worm and repeatedly hit it with the staff much to the worm's annoyance.
“What does she think she’s doing? Her attacks aren’t leaving a dent!” Cadence asked. Discord’s eyes extend as he begins to use them as binoculars.
“Oh, I understand what she’s doing! A clever filly that one!” He says.
“What? What is she doing?” Twilight asks. Discord snaps his fingers and a pair of yellow and silver-colored robots appear before them.
“Huh? This is not our show?!” The tall yellow one says.
“Hush now I’m demonstrating here!” Discord says as he summons two buckets and places them on the robots. Pulling two mallets from nowhere he proceeds to hit the buckets on the robots heads, making them dizzy and fall over. “As you can see, a series of rapid strikes on the worm's thick skin will cause an intense vibration. Which will mess up the worm from the inside.” He says.
“That's just a repeat of what happened in our show.” The small silver robot groaned.
“Eh, if it ain’t broken then don’t fix it. Now adios!” Discord said snapping them away. You continue your rapid strikes as worm begins to turn green from the attacks. It roars in anger and smacks you with its tail.
“Gah!” You yell as you land on top of the worm. It roars as it tries to fling you off. Grunting you see a loose scale in its hide and with quick thinking, you jam your power pole into it and use it as a makeshift hold. The worm roars in pain as it dives back into the ground. Using your earthbending abilities you try to keep the rocks from hitting you.
“Nightshade!” The three call out as you disappear beneath the earth. Beneath the ground, you see the worm drilling through the ground using its teeth and tentacles. Two loose tentacles pass near you. With great strength and speed, you grab the two tentacles and yank them back. The worm roars in pain.
“Alright, you oversized Marelasken Bull worm! Time to hit the skies!” You shout as you yank the tentacles even harder causing the worm to dig upward. Above your companions look on in worry as they look through each and every hole the worm has made. With a loud rumble, they turn and see you burst from the earth steering the worm topside in one hoof, and power pole in the other.
“She is the Kwisatz Haderach!” Discord shouts in awe.
“Woohoo!” You shout, however, your glorious moment is cut short as gravity takes its toll and you the worm takes a dive off the steep cliff face. “Oh no.” You gulp as you begin to fall.
“NIghtshade!” Twilight and Cadence shout as they fly towards you.
“BUCK YOU LADY LUUUUUUUCCCCKKKKKkkkkk!” You shout as you reach the ground.
Feel free to add on!