Episode 66: Who Wrote This Junk?
Down With Chrysalis’s Comment
Roker12’s Comment
WARGAMES’s Comment
Rushing forth, you strike forth at your dad’s copyright infringement.
“Get the Buck Out of Here!” you shout as your hoof collides with his mask. Just like when interrogating Garble earlier, a large text box with a sound effect appears.
*POW*
“Agh! That’s bright!” you shake your head as the after image dizzies you, giving the Crimson Vengeance the chance to strike you on the back with a lightning bolt punch.
*ZAPP*
“BZZZZZZZZZTTTT!!!” you yelp out as the electricity surges through your body. “Oi, you bucker!” you snarl as you strike forth with one of your tails, but he cross blocks it.
*BASH*
“Gyagh! These things are annoying!” you complain as CV roundhouse kicks you backward.
*CRACK*
“You’re going down agent of Nightmare Moon!” he declares.
“Oh Shut Up! You’re Not My Dad!” you counter and sweep his legs out from under him with a tail strike.
*ZING*
*BOOM*
*WHAM*
A bunch more of those texts flare, and out of the corner of your eye you see the others facing off.
“That suit is so last season!” Greta shouts at her comic book counterpart.
“Oh, but Hunting Season never ends!” Zero declares as they fly straight towards each other, colliding in midair.
*KAPOW*
“Gah! Let go!” Ember shouts as Sentry 1 grabs her out of the air.
“Please put down your weapon, you have 15 seconds to comply,” a robotic voice threatens.
“Scale Rot! I must amputate immediately!” The surgeon yells maniacally as he starts chasing Spike with his saw cleaver.
“Get away from me!” Spike yelps as he super runs away from the nutjob.
“KYAH!” The Filly shrieks as she kicks Grandbuggy in the nads.
“Oooohhh…I…Wait,” he gasps in confusion as he unhunches. “I hardly even felt that. What the buck?! Where are my balls?!” he exclaims as unicorn you tilts her head in confusion.
“GYAGH! Get it off! Get it off!” Aqua shouts as Mangle holds onto her hair as she sends bouts of water everywhere.
“Um, who do I shoot?” Twilight asks looking at all the chaos.
“You’re the leader of the team, shoot the main villain!” Garble scolds, pointing to the still laughing Maneiac.
“Oh, right!” Twilight nods as she sends a blast of magic at the villainess.
*PEW*
“OW! Hey!” she exclaims as she uses her hair to crawl down the side of the building towards Twilight.
“Now what?!” she asks, but Garble is already running from that creepy image.
*SWIPE*
“Ouch!” Twilight grunts as one of Maneiac’s hair strands strikes her in the side.
“I do enjoy our dances Matter-Horn!” she cackles.
“Wow things are getting int-“
*POW*
“AH!” you yell as the Crimson Vengeance hits you in the nose. You hold pressure on it and you glare at the bucker who has the gall to dress like your dad.
“Keep your head in the game outlaw!” he taunts as his hoof encases in fire.
“You son of a-DADDY NEVER HIT ME!!!” you shout as your eyes glow, and unknownst to you, they glow orange in this form. Your tails strike out an upper cut him into the air.
*BAM*
“GRRRR!!!” you growl at the annoying flashing sound effect box, as your tails ensnare it before it fades…somehow, and you start walking the Crimson Vengeance over the head with it…which causes the world around you to static a bit.
“Nightshade? How did you do that?” asks Spike as he zips next to you. “You broke the fourth wall.”
“Well there’s three more still standing!” you grunt back as you throw the pop up at Sentry 1.
“You have not complied. Deadly force is now in effect,” the robot says as it starts to squeeze Ember.
“EEEEE!!!” she gasps just as the pop up staggers the robot, giving her wiggle room.
“Use the lightning Princess!” Garble shouts from atop a light pole with The Surgeon sawing through it at the base.
“Oh right, super powers,” she smacks her forehead before holding up the pendant. “Uh…do the thing!”
*KRAKOOM*
A lightning bolt strikes the robot, and a metallic screech rings out…along with hers because she’s still in it’s grasp.
“BZZZZTTTTT!!!” she shakes violently as both of them ride the lightning and you wince.
“That’s gonna leave a mark,” you think just as Grandbuggy lands at your hooves, groaning.
“She keeps kicking me in the dick…but why? Why isn’t the pain greater?!” he laments just as your Unicorn counterpart lands on his back and smirks at you two.
“We’ve got this in the bag,” she boasts and you grit your teeth as you turn your glowing orange eyes to her.
“The bag sucks! You should get out of it more often!” you argue with yourself.
“Why? The bag is safe, the bag is life,” she grins.
“Wipe that stupid look off my face!” you shout as you tackle the other you off of Grandbuggy and into Mangle and Aqua’s struggling forms.
“…That was really weird to see,” Spike says as Grandbuggy lifts his head.
“You Don’t Say?!” he mocks just as CV kicks him in the gut and he curls again.
“Your temptations won’t work on me harlot!”
“OHHHH, now that’s just…Ohhhh, gross,” Grandbuggy shudders as Spike helps him out by punching CV in his nads.
“URK!” he grunts and falls over next to Grandbuggy.
“AAAHHH!!!” Garble shouts as Maneiac wraps a stand around him and tosses him at Twilight, who dives to catch him, only to crash into The Surgeon.
“The Masked Matter-Horn has wing like growths now! They must be amputated immediately!” he cackles as he starts biting on them.
“AGH! Stop That!” she yells and blasts him, just as another strand grabs and throws her.
“All this violence is caused by the youth playing too many video games!” Zero proclaims as she chokes Greta.
“WHAT?!” she squawks, as she uses her rope to wrap around one of Zero’s talons and whip her into a wall over and over again. “You take that back you ignorant slut!!!”
“…Did you just call yourself,” a smoking Ember starts to ask, but Greta whips her head towards her with a glare.
“I KNOW WHAT I SAID!” she shouts before she cocks a brow. “Hey, weren’t you fighting that robot?”
“I was, but now the other one’s got it,” she says pointing towards Sentry 1.
“Please stand down! You have only 5 seconds to-“
*SMASH*
“SSKKRREEOONNKK!!!” Mangle barks to the sky. Using the power of Saddle-Rager, she is now in her Mangleoid form once more, with the multiple heads and limbs and everything.
“WooHoo! Go Mangle!” you cheer as Aqua has you ensnared in a water whip and other you kicks Spike in the nards.
“Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh…” Greta stammers, her eyes shrunk to pinpricks as she looks at the robotic monstrosity and has PTSD flashbacks.
This gives Zero suit Greta to grab the other end of the rope and whip Greta away from her and towards the Maneiac.
“Ah! Mare-Volous! Come to test your rope against my hair once again?!” she says as her hair comes towards her.
“Oh Gods! I’ve Read This Neighponese Smut!” she shrieks as she flies upward.
“The Agents of Nightmare Moon Must Be Purged! Glory to Equestria!” CV says robotically as he strikes again and again on Grandbuggy who has a radiant shield up.
“Boy, you best be quitting with that Stalliongrad Commie Bullspit!” he shouts as he encases CV in a bubble of energy, and walks over to a nearby gushing fire hydrant, and allows it to start filling the prison up.
“Whoa Old Bug, isn’t that a bit extreme?” Ember asks with worry.
“Not at all. Now Shock Em!” he orders as CV starts to make cracks appear in the waterlogged bubble. Apprehensively, Ember obeys and holds the pendant to the bubble.
*ULTRAAAAAA!!!*
The pop up shouts in an intense voice as lightning strikes the waterlogged CV causing him to spasm and to float to the top of the bubble.
“Did…Did we just kill him?” she asks fearfully.
“He’ll be fine, it’s a comic book,” Grandbuggy dismisses as he lets go of the construct and drops the body onto the ground. “Even if he did die, he’d be back in like 5 issues or whatever.”
“Pretty cold of you to be able to do that to your own grandson,” she says with disgust.
“That ain’t my boy, princess. Just some ink on a piece of paper,” he dismisses.
“Crimson Vengeance! NOOO!!!” Aqua shouts as she throws you into a dumpster and water jets over to the slumped vigilante.
You cough and spit up some water as you stick your head out of the garbage can.
“Not Cool Aqua! Not Cool!” you yell at the facsimile of your friend.
“Agh! Agh! Agh!” The Filly cries out as Spike straddles her and punches her again and again with punches you can’t even see.
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” he whimpers as he strikes her and looks at you with teary eyes. “Nightshade, I’m sorry!”
“Don’t be! Keep Bucking Her Up!” you encourage with a smirk that he can’t see.
“Oh, uh, alright h-“
*BONK*
Spike is interrupted as Mangleoid lands on top of him and The Filly.
“Spike!” you shout in worry.
“I’m Okay!” he groans, his claw waving haphazardly from under your giant pet.
You then look to Sentry 1 who is stomping towards your prone pet.
“Oh I don’t think so!” you say reaching into your Inventory…and immediately your hoof hits the bottom. “Huh?” you feel around and while you can feel some things inside, the bag isn’t bottomless. “Really? That’s the one thing they didn’t transfer over?!”
You pull out the heaviest thing you did feel though, and see that it is a rifle of some kind.
“…Okay,” you shrug as you point it at Sentry 1, pull the trigger…and a flag pops out with the word ‘Bang’ written on it. “…But why though?” you sputter as Sentry 1 raises his metallic fists.
“Please put down your weapon. You have-“
“Nightshade!” Twilight shouts as she blasts at the robot who staggers a bit.
“Thanks for the assist Twilight,” you shout as she lands next to you and glares at the suit.
“No problem! I doubt that there’s even a version of Flash inside, and you can’t trust sentient machines.”
“Skree?” Mangle somehow whimpers with her three heads and Twilight winces.
“Uh, present company excluded,” she chuckles nervously.
“No Flash inside huh?” Grandbuggy interjects as he peppers Aqua with countless glowing cigars. “Only one way to find out.”
“Hey, what are you-?”
With his super power, Grandbuggy makes an exact duplicate of Twilight, albeit shiny, and she is wearing skimpy socks, and a very risqué saddle. Sentry 1 actually stops mid stomp and freezes in place as it sees the hologram who gives a sultry wink to it.
*SCHWING*
“Does not compute! Agents of Nightmare Moon aren’t supposed to be sexy!” the mass of metal declares as it starts to spark and you facehoof.
“Of course that idiocy worked,” you shake your head as Twilight blushes profusely.
“I DON’T HAVE THOSE KINDS OF CLOTHES!!!” she shouts as her horn goes atomic and she blasts the perverted image…along with Sentry 1…and the building behind him.
“YAAAAAGGGHHHH!!!” Garble yells in the distance as he is used as a flail at the end of Greta’s rope against The Surgeon.
“Less Screaming and more fire breathing!” she commands as she hits the crazy doctor in the head with his body.
“YAAAGGGHHH!!!” Spike yells as Mangle throws him at Maneiac, who also takes a dragon to the face.
*BASH*
“Ooohhhh…” The Filly says as she rubs her head, and you throw your useless prop gun at her.
*DONK*
The sound of a coconut rings out as the weapon strikes her in the head…and then flies back to you like a boomerang.
“…Seriously, why?” you sputter just as green strands wrap around you and lift you up. “WHA!”
“Alright Offender, I believe it’s time for the main course to this little meal, wouldn’t you say?” she says with crazy eyes.
“I’m Not Hungry!” you declare as you use your countless tails to break out of her grip. When she sends forth her hair to ensnare you again, you catch each strand in one of your tails and the two of you end up in a tug of war match.
Not gonna lie, this feels really, REALLY weird, you think as your wriggly limbs and her wriggly limbs interlock and yank at each other.
Kichi’s Comment
“Oh no, she’s countering Nightshade’s Offender tails!” Twilight exclaims. “Spike! Do you have any green rocks or something to take away her power?
“You’re thinking of Kyrptonite Twilight, and that’s for Supermane!” Spike corrects as he zipps over a jet of water from Aqua.
“Yeah! Get it right!” Garble calls out as Greta slams him against the Crimson Vengeance who was shakily getting to his hooves.
“Quiet You!” Spike scolds as he limbos under a thunderbolt Ember sends towards Sentry 1. “But yeah, the only thing she’s really weak to is shampoo, but I don’t have any!”
“Shampoo? Really?” Greta complains as The Surgeon gasses her.
“I’ve seen weirder,” Grandbuggy dismisses as he makes Aqua look like she’s wearing frilly underwear.
“YOU PERVERT!” she lashes back with her bending, striking him in the chest.
“Dang these guys don’t go down easy,” he grumbles.
“Yeah, because I think we’re actually supposed to lose,” Spike points out.
“SKREONK?!” Mangle barks in confusion as The Filly starts wrenching one of her heads off.
“Not necessarily,” Garble says loopily and Spike shrugs.
“I don’t know. Usually in crossovers, the heroes get defeated because they can’t co-operate, and the villains leave them half-dead. After licking their wounds, they get on more friendly terms, then fight as a team.”
“Yeah, I vote we skip that!” Ember scoffs as she shocks Maneiac.
“AGH! That’s cheating!” she yells and you grit your teeth as the electricity goes into you as well.
Note to self, wear rubber boots from now on, you think in annoyance as you start to push her back.
“I’d like other options than losing thank you very much!” you add your two cents.
“Well, if we don’t follow that formula exactly, it could turn out to be a case of one of the villains betraying another because they want more power…which is kind of already in play since The Offender and Maneiac are against one another,” he says as he punches Sentry 1 and hurts his claw.
"Are we that predictable?" Maneiac asks as she joins the discussion.
“Pretty much,” Grandbuggy nods as he tosses Zero at Greta who hits her with Garble midair.
*CRUNCH*
“Since it’s villain vs. villain with the heroes caught in the middle, maybe another party will come into play?” Twilight suggests as Sentry 1 picks her up and Spike ponders that.
“Hmmm, could be. I doubt it would be more heroes since we’re already in a crowded crossover. It could be that something extreme happens and then everyone has to work together to fight something even more dangerous.
“Like What?!” you ask with a strained voice…and you notice it’s gotten deeper.
The Pony Spartan’s Comment
WARGAMES’s Comment
“What the…?” you say in baritone as you notice the light of your glowing orange eyes increasing over the Maneiac’s hair…and then your body starts to feel weird.
Oh no! Mom said there would be changes in my body when I got older! Is this it?! You think worriedly…only to feel something pop over your bottom lip. Your first reaction of course is to lick it.
“A tooth?” you ask aloud in confusion as you look down and pale as you now have tusks, just like Daddy.
Oh no...
*Snap*
You feel devil horns on your head, and a second pair of wings sprout on your back. You manage to look back and see the most tails you've ever seen, fifteen. Bucking Fifteen Tails.
Stupid writers! Daddy said the max he can go up to was nine in the otherworld. Hey guys- Wait, why can't I talk?!
It’s much more than that, you can’t move, or rather, you can’t control your own movements.
Then you hear it, the same noise your father made back in the Crystal Empire.
“GGGRRRROOOOAAAAHHHHHH!!!!”
You roar, despite not meaning or wanting to. You aren't in control of your body anymore.
Just…Just like when he ate Sombra... you think in horror.
Your body rushes forward as your tails bring the surprised Maneiac towards you as your jaw lowers.
Wait!
But your body doesn't. Instead, it rams those two tusks into her shoulder as you bite down hard.
*MUNCH*
The pop up declares as Maneiac screams in fear and agony.
"What the buck?!" Greta shrieks.
"Holy spit!" Ember yells, and everyone on the battlefield look to you in horror.
“Holy…Nightshade…” Spike gasps and Grandbuggy gives him a side glance.
“Well, I think we found the common enemy for this story,” he gripes as Twilight sputters.
“N-No…Not again,” she says fearfully, remembering all too well that horrible day.
“Wh-What is that thing?” Crimson Vengeance says warily, as all of your team realizes that he and the others no longer have glowing eyes.
“It’s the Hooded Offender!” Aqua says while striking a pose.
“Power Ponies! What’s Going On?!” The Filly asks as she shudders.
“You all were mind controlled by The Maneiac and we were controlled by The Offender, and we all fought, but now we’re all free,” Garble summarizes.
“Huh? But we wer-“ Ember starts but he shushes her.
“We were in the comic,” he whispers harshly.
“Analysis…mind restored. Bigger threat detected,” Sentry 1 sounds off.
“You’re going down monster!” Zero says resolutely.
“In my medical opinion, we need to put this thing down!” The Surgeon quips.
Stop Trying To Sound Cool And Stop Me From Eating Her!!! You mentally scream as your body bites down again, causing her to gurgle in agony.
“We will team up with you Power Ponies, to stop the forces of-“
“Oh shut up and attack already!” Grandbuggy growls as he sends forth a barrage of sparkly missiles. “Shade! I’m Sorry Honey, but Grandbug’s gotta stop ya!”
“Me Too! I’m sorry Nightshade!” Spike apologizes as he rushes forth and starts attacking.
It’s alright! Now hurry and kick my flank before-
“GGGRRRROOOOAAAAHHHHHH!!!!” your body shouts as it whips the Maneiac by her tails and bowls over Grandbuggy, Spike, CV, and Aqua.
Ah Buck…you think with dread as both Sentry 1 and Mangleoid rush forth and tackle you, only for your tails to encircle them, lift them up in the air and smash them together like action figures.
“Catostrophic Damage!”
“Skreonk!”
Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap! You stutter as Twilight and Greta fly towards you.
“Nightshade! You Have To Snap Out of It!” Twilight states the obvious as she blasts you with magic, but it’s not really working out well for you.
“Don’t Swing Me At Her!” Garble shrieks as Greta flings him at you, but your tail catches him, pulls taut, and begins swinging her around and into Twilight.
“Oomph!” they grunt as they hit each other.
“Lightning!” Ember calls from above you, and for the third time today, your system is jolted by electricity. Taking offense to that, your tails swing Greta into her, before letting the rope go entirely and sending them all crashing to the ground. You then throw both robots at the group for good measure, and your body starts to chuckle evily.
“He’s gone insane!” the Maneiac screams hypocritically as The Surgeon heals her.
“That may be so witch, but if we don’t stop him now, we’ll all be destroyed!” Crimson Vengeance says striking a pose.
“…Fine! I will work with you puny heroes…for now,” she declares as she gets into a defensive stance alongside all of them.
“Ohh, just like that issue where-“ Garble starts but Spike slaps him upside the head.
“Not Now!” he growls. “We’ve gotta make sure Nightshade doesn’t stay like that!”
“Damn Right!” Grandbuggy nods.
“Obviously,” Greta and Ember say together.
“We’ll save you Nightshade! I won’t let you fall down this destiny!” Twilight declares as they all rush you at once.
…You know, if I were a part of this, it would be really bucking cool, you think in melancholy as your body roars and charges.
MOMENTS LATER
Well that didn’t bucking work out at all!
After an intense and desperate struggle on their part, the Nightmare Cloak with it’s increased number of tails wiped the floor with everyling. They all groan or are passed out as you stand victorious over them all, your tails whipping wildly. Everyone is down and barely conscious, except for the Filly, who is held by the scruff of her neck in front of your jaws as tears stream down her face.
“Please…I’m sorry…” she cries and your gut turns in twisted, confusing befuddlement and guilt.
Lady Luck, for the love of buck! Don’t make me eat myself! And as Daddy to boot! I can’t! I just…AAAAAAHHHHHH!!! You scream mentally as your mind can’t comprehend the scenario logically.
The crying filly gets closer and closer to your face…
Ello Calebero’s Comment
Changer T Emerald’s Comment
“I’ll do anything! Please!” she begs and your tails stop bringing her closer.
“Anything?” your Nightmare body asks with a deep, scary voice.
“Yes,” she nods. “Just let everyone else go…”
What’s this now? You wonder as your body looks over the beaten heroes. Your mouth then smiles as a dark chuckle comes forth.
“Then give me your all. Give in willingly, accept my mistress, and they shall be spared,” your voice reverberates.
Huh?
“I…I accept…” the Filly says as she closes her eyes and spreads her legs out.
“Good Girl…” you say as suddenly the dark energy from your tails encompasses The Filly as you begin to shrink.
What is going on?! You panic as the unicorn version of you is surrounded by the cloak magic like a cocoon…and suddenly your vision pulls back from your body.
“What the buck?” you say as you now see the scene occurring from a third person perspective.
“Uh, what just happened?” you hear Ember’s voice and looking beside you, you see Grandbuggy and your friends, without the costumes on, watching the scene as well.
“Guys! Oh My Gosh! I Am So Sorry!” you apologize and try to move towards them…but you are all stuck in place.
“Nightshade? Wait did we succeed? I thought we got our butts kicked and failed,” he says as he reaches towards you.
“We did fail. Got our flanks handed to us on a platter,” Grandbuggy grunts and your ears wilt.
“I didn’t meant to, I swear! I-“
“I figured as much kiddo. The way this story was written, it was always gonna be that way,” Grandbuggy reassures and the others look at you sympathetically.
“Still, I just want you to know I didn’t have any control whatsoever!”
“…Just like the real Hooded Offender,” Twilight says sadly as she looks back at the unfolding scene.
The Power Ponies, now all looking like themselves, lie next to the downed Manieac and guest characters as the dark magic starts to glow and the Hooded Offender takes off his hood, revealing a stereotypical changeling without hair and with an evil expression on his face.
“Dude…this is just like a cutscene,” Greta says. The changeling then lifts the swirling mass with his magic and flies into the air above the defeated heroes and villain as citizen ponies look on in horror.
“Attention Maretropolis!” the changeling says in a booming voice as he unsheathes a sword out of nowhere.
Oh…so that’s how they translated the Inventory, you conclude as he holds the blade to the side.
“Come one, come all to this most historic of days! Your Power Ponies have been defeated, The Crimson Bounty Hunters are scattered, and not even the Maneiac can stand up to me!”
…Daddy does speeches like that sometimes, but he’s usually hammy. This…this is creepy, you shudder as you watch the changeling bring the sword above his head.
“This city will now be under new management!” He says with a confident, charismatic tone which actually draws in the background NPC’s.
“So without further ado, Ladies and Gentlecolts! I give you…NIGHTMARE MOON!” And with that, he swipes into the mass of dark magic. Lightning crackles, the wind howls and an ominous laugh resounds through the air, growing louder and louder. The neck on the back of your neck stands on end and you scowl and grit your teeth at the audacity of whoever wrote this schlock.
“Those motherbuckers…”
Emerging from the cloud, with a flap of her wings, is a very stylized version of your mother. She is as tall as she once was, and is decked out in her full gleaming armor, though it seems to meld into her flesh, and she is more beautiful, animated and just…more. You hear Twilight gasp in fright, but you don’t look towards her.
“After 1,000 Years I’m Free!” she announces as her voice echoes across the city. “I am your god now! Worship Me and Despair!” she says with a voice that is clearly not your mom’s loving and caring one.
The Changeling then takes her hoof into his as a cheeky grin spreads across his face.
“Mistress…” he says longingly and she strokes his cheek.
“You have done well to serve me my changeling…” she says with a sultry tone.
“Uuuhhh…” you trail off as to the surprise of everyone, they embrace into a passionate and non-kid friendly kiss.
“Whoa nelly,” Greta says flustered as you shut your eyes.
“AAAAAHHHH!!! Stop It! Gross!” you gag as the representations of your parents furiously make out above the city.
“Spike! Cover your eyes!” Twilight orders.
“Duhhhh….” He blathers as Grandbuggy chuckles and Ember shakes her head in sympathy.
“I’ve seen my folks doing worse, believe me.”
And as you gag and wish for death, and the beaten heroes look up to the sky in melancholy, an ol’ timey radio voice rings out.
“The Manipulative Malefactor of Miscontent Nightmare Moon has returned, heralded by her favorite toy. What Machiavellian Machinations will they wrought? What happened to courageous Filly? And what will our intrepid Power Ponies and their Vigilante Allies do? Will they stand a chance? Will the Maneiac still ally herself with them? Will humdrum finally do something useful? Find out in the next issue of Power Ponies: Eternal Night!”
And with that declaration, that same swirling vortex appears above your group and you are all sucked through it once more.
After a few moments of dizziness, you come to in a dog pile with everyone else, back in Twilight’s room.
Everyone groans as they all sit up and untangle themselves from each other.
“Did…did that actually just happen?” Twilight asks as she looks around at your group.
“…Yeah…I think it did Twi,” Spike says as he hugs onto her leg.
“…Spike, I don’t think I want you reading anymore comics for awhile,” she says as she wraps a leg around him.
“Agreed,” the rest of your group says in unison.
WARGAMES’s Comment
You look down at the comic book that caused all of this, and see the final panels displaying exactly what you just witnessed and you frown.
“That story sucked!” you declare as you slam the comic closed and stick it in your inventory.
ADDED TO THE INVENTORY
Magical Power Ponies Comic.
“Yeah! Who makes an adventure like that if all you’re going to do is lose?!” Greta huffs.
“Or makes you a weak and useless character?!” Garble grumbles.
“Or takes away your stallionhood?!” Grandbuggy agrees, before his eyes widen, he reaches behind himself…and then lets out a contented sigh of relief.
“…I kind of liked being able to use lightning actually,” Ember admits but everyone ignores her.
“Not to mention it was wholly inaccurate!” Twilight hisses. “That poor changeling who became the Hooded Offender is a victim of Nightmare Moon! That depiction of him being a willing accomplice and…lover is just offensive!”
You just stare at Twilight with an emotionless face and sigh as Spike gives you a nervous apologetic look.
“Ms. Twilight?” you speak up and she looks back to you.
“Uh…yes Nightshade?”
“This is my Grandpa, that’s Princess Ember, that’s Greta, and that’s Garble.”
“Skreonk,” Mangle barks.
“And you remember Mangle,” you point out.
“Oh, uh…yes I guess things got a bit hectic there, nice to meet all of-“
“I want to meet with you later and do more magic training since my Dad is away,” you say and her eyes brighten.
“You Do?!” she asks enthusiastically and you nod.
“Yes…but not right now. I think we’ve all had enough today,” you say as you rub your head.
“Oh…I think maybe you might be right,” she says as she looks at everyone’s exhausted forms and yawns herself.
“Twilight, why don’t you take a nap? You could really use it?” Spike suggests and she nods.
“Alright…but what about this whole misunderstanding that kicked off everything?” she asks pointing to Garble who pales.
“Don’t worry, I’ll punish him for his insolence. Right little bro?” Ember sneers over the smaller dragon who gulps.
“Oh…very well then. Thank you for watching Spike for me then,” she thanks and Spike rolls his eyes.
“No problem. I’ll see you later,” you say to him with a wave and he gives one in return.
“See you then…”
“Oh, and Nightshade?” Twilight calls after you as you reach the stairs.
“Uh huh?”
“…It’s great to see you again,” she says with a smile and you return it.
“You too teach.”
A little while later, you all gaze at the mundane real world and sigh before saying to the others,
“When we see The Merchant again, we force him to tell us who wrote that stupid comic, and we beat them black and blue, agreed?”
“Agreed,” they all nod.
“Great,” you nod before looking to Grandbuggy. “Grandbuggy, bits please!”
“For what?” he asks, already reaching into his bowler hat.
“I need to unwind and relax after all that craziness. You guys can go do whatever, but I’m going to the spa,” you declare, remembering the one time you went with Daddy and had the most soothing experience ever.
The girls are in school right now, but that’s alright. I need some me time. I’ll even take Aloe’s shenanigans if it means I can melt into some mud.
WHAT DO YOU DO?
The answer to the title? It was I! Brown Dog!
Hey Hive-Mind,
Thanks for going nuts with the comic stuff…which all things considered isn’t even the craziest thing that’s happened to our little filly. Now time to get back to the craziness of the real world.
So after that mind-buckery, Nightshade wants a break. I’m sure that nothing crazy will happen in the spa at all, especially with Aloe there. Absolutely nothing…
I’ll see you next chapter everyone,
Brown Dog.
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AND I. BUT NO. I JUST GAVE IDEAS. I WAS USELESS.
Can we have some npc interaction at the spa. Like two people meet at the spa, and they have unresolved sexual tension or something like that, and while whatever happens in the foreground happens, in the background theres this massive fight, resolution e.t.c.
9984708
But the blame MUST fall on my shoulders alone because I hit publish 
No you're great
On with THE SHOW (First real comment in a while yay!
)
You trot into the spa to see it only slightly crowded. You walk up to the front desk to sea Lotus behind the desk.
“Oh, Nightshade! It’s good to see you! How have you been?” Lotus says with a smile.
“I’m tired but good overall. Can I have a mud bath, deep tissue massage, and steam room please?” You say placing bits on the counter.
“Oh had a rough day?” Lotus said while taking the bits.
“You have no idea.” You say groaning at the memory of the magic comic book. “Um, how’s Aloe?”
“She’s….coping.” From down the hall, you hear a cry of pain as a pony walks down the hall limping in pain.
“Thank you for stopping by! Come visit again! NEXT!” Aloe says with a strained voice as you see her poking her head out from a door. Her hair is messy in places, and her eyes are red from tears, and the twitching eyelids don’t help.
“Yikes, guess she took the news worse then I thought.” You cringe as the injured pony limps out the door.
“She’s been like this for days. I’m worried about her. Despite what some believed she really did like your father. At this rate, we’ll need to hire extra help to run the place.” Lotus sighed. “Here sweety take this card when your number’s called head down to room three.” You thank her as you go sit down on one of the nearby waiting chairs. You watch as she trots off to her sister.
“I feel bad for her, I mean I knew she liked Daddy, but not I didn’t know she liked him that much.” As you think this a wail of sadness echoes down from the hall. You try to ignore it as you grab a newspaper from nearby. As you read through, an article catches your eye.
“Strange weather phenomenon, decimates Misty Lake Forest, hundreds of animals forced to relocate.” You see a picture that shows the forest that looks familiar somehow. “Nearly half of the forest burnt down over at Misty Lake Forest. Experts say the cause was not natural. ‘Place looks like a battlefield more than anything. What baffles us is why the lake is frozen and parts of the forest are being snowed on.” An image of the lake completely frozen over and trees were covered in snow and ice. You gulp as you recognize the picture, you read on. “Large levels of dark magic residue was detected in the forest, along with trails of blood and a dark cloak with an image of a Black Sun with an arrow piercing it. Authorities are suspecting foul play, Princess Luna herself arrived on the scene to assess the damage. Many suspect the Nightmare Moon is to blame. Local witnesses had these to say.
‘There I was taking a hike in the woods when I heard the sound of roaring thunder overhead. The storm came out of nowhere, lightning striking the ground left and right. Never seen anything like it.’ ~ Hiker
‘I was flying nearby trying to cut across over the forest when swear I thought I saw this big black and white wolf pack running just beneath me spreading the forest fire! ~ Nearby Pegasi
‘I was out camping when I heard a scream and the sound of terrifying laughter. I ran faster than I ever did that day. My hooves felt like they were gonna fall out from underneath me.’ ~ Scared Camper
‘I was just roasting some marshmallows when this stallion lept out and ran past me putting out my campfire! Then a bunch of these weird creatures was chasing after him! I hope he got out okay.’ ~ Sweet little Filly
‘I was called in when the fire alert went out. I was out there helping any animal or pony still near the danger zone evacuate when I thought I heard a crying colt. Then out of nowhere, a snowstorm came down on me.” You roll up the newspaper and toss it to the side. Your eyes widening as the memories of your rampage through the forest. Your screams of insane laughter as you rained down lightning and fire. You never thought about the animals or if there were ponies nearby.
“I destroyed those animals homes, I didn’t even think about them! I could’ve hurt somebody!”
The scream of pain and the terrified look of the colt flashes through your mind. You could feel a pain in your chest as the shards started to glow beneath your scarf.
“No, I did hurt somebody, very badly.” You start to shake, as you could feel tears build up in your eyes.
“Hey kid you okay?” A voice calls out as you are shaken from your stupor. You look up to see overly large stallion with muscles for days.
“Bulk Biceps?” You say eyes widening. While you never really got to get to know the stallion you’d never forget the stallion that survived your signature nut shot.
“Hey, aren’t you Nightshade?” He says. You nod dumbly as he smiles. “I heard you were in town but I didn’t believe it. You gave me one heck of a kick when we last saw each other.” He laughed. You found his laughter contagious as you laughed alongside him albeit more quietly.
“Yeah, I did, sorry about that.” You say steeply
“Eh, no hard feelings. So at the spa all by yourself?” He says sitting down next to you. His huge body causing the chair to creak and groan under his muscle weight.
“Yeah all my friends are at school, and I needed to unwind.” You say letting out a sigh.
“I feel that. My food cart business hasn’t been doing well lately. Figured a trip to the spa would help.” He chuckled.
“You run a food cart?” You ask.
“Yeah, just a little thing nothing too major. I just sell mostly travel nuts and stuff.” You hear a ding and look up to see the serving number change. You look to your card and see your number has come up. You nod to Bulk and head up to the desk.
“Ahh, Nightshade! Your mud bath is ready!” Lotus said walking to the counter her sister in tow. Having freshened up a bit.
“Hello Nightshade, it's good to see you,” Aloe said in a tired voice. She turned and saw Bulk waiting.
“We shall be with you in just a moment, sir.” She said with a smile. You heard a whinny from behind you and turn to see Bulk with his eyes wide with a blush on his face. As you followed the spa ponies you could only wonder what that was about. However just as you were about to reach the room you remembered something.
“Oh, horse apples! I forgot about the Shards! If they see them they’ll panic and run to tell Twilight!” You gulp.
And that's all! Been wanting to comment for like EVER! But college sucked up all my time and energy. I hope you enjoy the comment, figured that Nightshade's little tantrum would at least get some attention. Plus now that Bugze is off the menu for Aloe, why not offer her a nice Bulky entree instead?
Feel free to add on!
Nightshade only perpetuating the 'story' of Bugze being married can only go so well...
And of course since we're in the process of wrapping everything up, I know that miss egghead-jumptoconclusions-reoccurring-gag is kinda entertaining, but it's been going on for literally the entire series. Can we please fill in twilight and the rest of the gang and hopefully give Bugze a good welcoming home party? (this is to come later of course, there's still much to do -put it on the checklist...- but please. Please. Reeee. )
And don't think I forgot about your darned doctor-changeling ending where somehow some way Bugze is supposed to die! I'm gonna kick your sad sorry flank if you kill him off after all this time! you hear me!? I'll
'ing do it!
I wana see Bugze get married with Selena, and have a good bloody life!
Another small spoiler. If you do do it, can't wait for it.... Selena meeting the princesses. heh
Just when Nightshade was feeling more relaxed and was enjoying the trip to the spa and in the mud bath, suddenly she hear the door open and with a quick look she notice that someone else enter to the spa, when Nightshade was asking to herself who could be, she hear a voice that could identify at the moment
"It's so good that you are open, you can't believe the morning I had darling" Say the voice that Nightshade identify as Rarity from the other side
"The best for one of our best costumers, do you want the massage? Or the sauna?" Ask the voice of Aloe or Vera, Nightshade is not sure
"Oh, no... Today I will began with the mud bath if that is not a problem" Comment Rarity as she approach to where Nightshade was relaxing.
Meanwhile the mud around the bath began to increase in temperature as Nightshade began to get angry.
"Why? Just why, Lady Luck? Was the comic not enough for today that now I need to share the spa with Miss Anorexia?" Ask Nightshade to no one in particular and began to groan
"Hello? Is there somepony here?" Ask Rarity as she approach the mud bath, making Nightshade groan even more.
--------------
I was thinking of put a 'cat' fight but could not think of how to add it.
"Now... Let's take that scarf off shall we?" The spa pony says as she reaches towards you. You can't let her take it off and reveal your shards, so you jump back with a empowering stance and your scarf starts to whirl around, except there's no wind to make that possible so the spa pony stands there in confusion.
"Uh..." You start. "I gotta use the bathroom, be right back!"
A colt comes up to you, and in a Canterlot (British accent) he says, "Hey there madam! I'm here with my family on a trip and I just have to say you look absolutely divine! How would you like to grab a treat after your visit here?"
Now any other filly in your position would perhaps blush and politely decline his offer. But your dad raised you.
"Buck off pervert!" You say. "I'm busy!"
The colt looks shocked for a second before glaring and walking away with his nose up like Prince Blueblood.
Later on, a creepy stallion tries to swoon you, since you're all alone. And Lotus was about to intervene and call guards to arrest him before Aloe reminded her who you were.
"Buck off you perverts! This heart is already taken!" You yell as you kick him hard in the nards.
Your dad raised you.
998599 just one thing during the time at the spa nightshade keeps noticing a colt but unlike the one from earlier, he just stands there in the corner staring at her with unblinking eyes. She can't help but notice that the colt has red eyes focusing on her like a laser pointer.
He doesn't do anything so she just ignores him at first. As she goes on with her day she notices that the colt is always in the same room as her staring.
She tries to tell someone but every time they look there's no one there. when they leave and she turns around he's there like he never left.
She goes over to confront the colt and tell him to stop. the colt tilts his head and nods moving past her.
however, he is back to staring at her in the very next room.
one time she stares directly at the colt as she leaves the room never breaking eye contact, but when she turns to look at the room she entered he's there in the corner. She turns back to look at the room she left he's there. Look at the next room, back to the last room, look at the next room, back to the last room, now there's two of them. Wait what, she goes to look at them but there's no one there.
Thoroughly creeped out she moves on
The next time she sees him, she goes straight for the nads only to crash into the wall beyond. She had her eyes on him the entire time, she even saw the way the nads burst like in one punch mare. It was like he stopped existing, but did at the same time.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Sorry, just a thought I had when I heard she was heading to the spa but I didn't know if it would be appropriate yet. I still don't quite think it is but whatever.
As you sit and relax, a very familiar face enters the fray.
Derpy notices you and rushes over wearing a matching grey robe and her mane done up. "Hi, Nightshade! Long-time no see!"
"Derpy!" You would have stood up to hug her, but they told you to stay still so the stuff on your face wouldn't be ruined. "How have you been?"
"Everything's been great!" She says, before looking around. "Your dad still isn't back from his adventure to the other dimension I see." She says, whispering the last part.
"The doctor told you right?" You half ask while nodding your head. "He still isn't back." You say a little sad.
"They'll be back, it's your dad and mom we're talking about here. They've always pulled through no matter how much lady luck tries to throw them off."
"Yup!"
Derpy takes the empty long chair beside you and rests. "Ahhh~"
"Doc let me have a day to myself today. Taking care of him, Dinky and the mail have been catching up to me lately. Thank Celestia he's so mindful."
"Well he is The Doctor." You say.
"Not anymore." Derpy reminds you. "Now he goes by 'Time Turner'. And he thinks Dr. Hooves is my nickname for him." She says. "In the end though, he's still the same as always." The wall-eyed mare says before closing her eyes.
You close your eyes as well, and lean back and relax.
After some time, you hear a flash, a small one, and you open your eyes and look down. What you see makes you enraged.
"Now now, I know what you're thinking. 'Buck him up! He screwed you and your daddy and even though he claims to be your friend he won't even lift a talon to fix your mess!'" The tiny version of Discord says as he stands on your belly.
You growl and you're about to blast him, but he cuts off anything you're about to do and quickly says. "You don't want to destroy the Spa Sisters' place, do you?"
You stop, and he continues.
"You don't want to blow your cover and cause more of a mess of complications either, right? Look I know you're mad, but let's talk."
"About what?" You spat with a glare, Derpy also glares down at the Draconequus but doesn't say anything.
"I just thought that since I'm free we could have a friendly chat! Or just say hello! Your father disappeared without a trace and I've been so bored lately. Sure I've been watching you and your group of misfits, but that's absolutely nothing compared to what your dear old dad is capable of. By any chance, do you know where he is?"
"Buck off..." You say, your glare not faltering.
"Oh dear, sorry for striking the wrong chord. Anyways, I thought since you were close by to home I could come over and visit you. Although until now you've always been with Twilight, a different Element of Harmony, your friends, or lover!"
"You live near here- Wait. Lover?"
"But now you're in a quiet setting with Derpy here. So how has life been my cute little Nightmare Moon?"
"I don't want to talk to you right now." You say, closing your eyes once more.
"Oh, but you will! And soon at that! You see, a certain cousin will be coming over to play soon, and I'm sure you would love to join in."
He couldn't be talking about Apple Bloom, or her sister and brother. Maybe Babs was coming back, she's a distant cousin too. But why would DIscord care about her, he doesn't even know her. That just left...
"Cousin Cadence?" You ask, opening your eyes and staring at him once more.
"Correct!" He says, holding up a sign with a star.
"Why is she coming here? And what do you mean play? What are you planning Discord?" You demand.
"You'll just have to come to our playdate and find out for yourself."
"Why do you even want me there? Can't you just leave me alone?"
"Well, let's just say that three alicorns are better than two. And are you really going to pass up this chance to see a long-time friend just because of me?"
"Maybe!" You say angrily.
"Well don't." Discord says. "Anyways just be sure to come to Twilight's house around..." He checks three watches on his tail before shrugging. "Eh, your lady luck will bring you there anyways. Toddles!" He disappears in a flash.
You sigh, then whisper to yourself. "You say you're my friend but you still buck with us."
"He'll come around," Derpy says. "The Elements are gone so he has no reason to comply with the princesses other than his friendship with them. So far he's been doing great, I heard he's the reason they're gone in the first place though."
In what is probably Lady Luck’s fault, before your mud bath you end up with Aloe giving you a back massage. Now all things considered, it’s not too bad. In fact, it would be perfect...if it weren’t for Aloe’s muffled sniffles and utter silence making you feel like your daddy when...well when he does anything Offender related.
Soul crushing guilt and a bit of self-loathing sums up how you feel.
So in order to help make the poor mare feel better, as well as ease your aching conscious, you try and explain to her how much your daddy and mommy care for each other. You try and do this as gently as possible, explaining how their in a honest relationship and are very open with each other.
Your hope is that by explaining all this it’ll help the poor mare move on faster, and perhaps dropping a hint or two for some other stallion could help. And it seemingly does for as soon as Aloe heard ‘open’ and ‘relationship’ she really peeled up and ran out of the saline with the biggest grin you’ve ever seen on her face since coming back.
You smile contently at the sight...only to immediately frown as you feel like you just pulled a Daddy.
...
Eh, future yous problem.
———————————//——-/-//
9986456
Just as soon as he leaves Discord returns in a flash covered in honey and yellow feathers, but you don’t pay any mind as you try to swat him like a fly.
He avoid it, sadly, and as he dumps his body into a nearby cream tin as he asks if you’ve messed around with any kind of dimensional magic when he wasn’t looking.
You pale slightly at that, fearing that the nutty jerk may have figured out where your daddy is, or at least how he managed to vanish. Thankfully the jerk doesn’t see you as he just rises out of the cream tin...covered in soap and scrubbing his back while wearing a shower cap.
You quickly lie and say you have no idea and ask why he’s think that. To which he answers in his Discordly way (cryptically) how he’s been patching up cracks lately but there’s starting to get more then he can handle and how some stuff has gone missing or appeared because of it. You wonder why he just won’t hire people to fix them Or what cracks have to do with dimensions, to which he just laughs and says how it’s not those kinds of cracks silly and leaves.
You look at Derpy questionably only to see she has a worried face and quickly leaves without so much as a goos bye, leaving you confused about what just happened.
——————————————————-
9985290
I’ll be completely honest, this whole scene would be perfect if Rarity started acting like a gossiping, overly clinging aunt to Nightshade. And Nightshade’s just so confused that her love rival (to which Nightshade immediately denies she thought that) is acting to chummy with her.
Then in a classic rom-com scenario, Rarity says something that Nightshade takes as demeaning to Spike, so she heatedly defends the guy by listing our all his great traits.
Of course instead angering Rarity this just gets her to squee in giddiness as she guesses correctly that Nightshade is crushing on the little drake.
Que Nightshade screaming in embarrassment, and Bugze getting a feeling that he needs to start practicing dragon hunting...while fighting alongside Midnight against dragon versions of the others (totally not his fault by the way).
After the shenanigans at the spa, you run into Apple Bloom. You both come across a friendly merchant Earth Pony with an amber coat. You both try and like the free samples of the butter he's selling until you ask what it is;
"Blah blagh! PEARS!!" you exclaim.
"Have you actually had pears before?" the stallion says.
"Well, no but my daddy and the Doctor both say pears are terrible!"
"Then how do you know if they're so bad?"
"He's got a point Nightshade." Apple Bloom points out.
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Welcome back to the front lines mate!