An ancient creature awakens, and it is up to Elements of Harmony to find out about its' nature, origin and even motifs. They have to go on a long journey through the Equestria looking for answers, and learning not only about the mysterious creature, but also about... themselves. But will they get back in time?
This is my first attempt at writing a fanfiction. "Dark" tag may be a little exaggeration, because I appreciate (and will aim for) comedy more.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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So, here it is, my very first attempt to write a fanfic. I'm planning on updating the story with additional tags in the future, when they will become relevant.
The drawings are mine as well, and I'll try to make them progressively better.
I will appreciate any kind of feedback.
Your picture for the story is so...creepy
This looks promising, and I'm glad I'm getting to see it early--in fact, it looks like I'm the very first to visit this page.
Looking into this immediately. And I don't normally do that--in fact, I have three unread stories and an unread chapter in my favorites list. I'll edit in my critique.
Edit: As interesting as I expected, and deserving of a favorite to keep track of it. However, I've noticed a few grammar errors, plus some typos. If you're a native English speaker, you should reread your story to weed out any mistakes--if you're not, and English is a second (or more) language, you should get someone to edit it for you.
Looking forward to later chapters, specifically to the time when the "Adventure" tag kicks in. I love a good world-straddling adventure.
Megalomania - Black Sabbath
Great story, love the whole idea and design of the "creature". Keep up the good work!
Thanks for the early comments!
Any help with the grammar/spelling issues will be very nice, I don't have any english-speaking friends I can rely on with it, and I'm not a native speaker myself.
I'll try to correct as many errors as I can.
Hee kinda funny. The creature will be more interesting to leave him as a mystery for several chapters (heck leave a few even after the story to pester the fans into begging for a sequel). There are many things forgotten and many things left alone in the timeless void (They want out). Not all are evil but not all are good (more around chaotic neutral then anything). Sorry alittle rambling after reading this. Liking and faving.
For being your first fanfic, you're doing it great. And your drawings are amazing!
@Alpha Scorpii
Thanks! Comments like your's keep me motivated! Fun levels are at maximum efficiency!
This is the second chapter of my highly popular fanfic, celebrating 50 views of the first chapter.
If anybody reads it and likes it, feel free to encourage your friends to read it.
The drawings are less lazy this time, I plan to update the cover soon.
Now the mystery is starting to get interesting. Maybe we can have the entity jump into some other dreams and play slightly with their mind (Fluttershy would have to be treated with padded gloves in a way). Who is to say that by finding it that they could encounter other forgotten entities still in magical slumber/imprisonment. If you like to play that the entity is older then Celestia and Luna (Which would also add to the mystery [Their parents could have known but didn't get the chance to share their knowledge before they disappeared/died]). The most unstable ones (Pinkie being one) could have the more elusive dreams (That would be Screwball, Trixie, Nyx [The Nightmare remnant that was knocked off Luna but wasn't recovered in a sense], and several others). It could also affects those that are suffering (many which have already been said [Others would be Derpy, Scootaloo, Queen Chrysalis {I don't see Changelings as Evil just desperate for food}, and other downtrodden/forgotten]).
I'm not going to judge just yet because you might have hidden meanings for all these things, but this chapter didn't seem very coherent. You should try not to include any details in a story that aren't important in one way or another. The whole stuff involving Spike, for instance--unless it's symbolic or that spell will play a part in the story later on, that part should probably be removed.