DEATH BATTLE: Rainbow Dash VS Rhymey

by DakariKingMykan

Rainbow Vs Rhymey

In an open field, outside of Ponyville, this was an ideal place for the battle that was about to take place. The village was far away, and there was nothing but vast grassy fields, mountains in the distance, a small forest and even a pond.

One of the two challengers was already standing in the field. He was a yellow humanoid alicorn from the planet Unicornicopia. He wore a golden-yellow armor vest, with matching boots, and also matched the color of his short mane. In the upper left area of his vest was his planet’s insignia, with stars around it, and a small code “XL7Z” was inscribed below it.

However, he did not seem very pleased and stood where he was with his arms folded and a sour look on his face.

Then his opponent came soaring in; a pegasi from Cloudsdale. She was light blue, with a rainbow streaked mane and tail, and she wore the official uniform of the Wonderbolts.

Her name was Rainbow Dash, and she did a cool loop-de-loop as she touched down in the field. “BOOYAH! I’m feeling so pumped.” she gloated. Then she stopped and gawked at her opponent. “You’re the Starfleet guy I’m supposed to face?”

She couldn’t hold it in and broke out laughing hysterically.

“You’re joking right?”
Her opponent, snuffed and said,

“I see nothing to laugh about.
You must be out of your head, no doubt.”

Rainbow stopped laughing and her features hardened, “Say what? Look Mr. Whoever you are…”

“My name is Rhymey,
My code is XL7-Zee.”

Rainbow shook her head vigoursly “Yeah, um… can you like, cut it out with those rhymes? They’re pretty silly, and dumb.”

Rhymey’s eyes blazed with fury, but he spoke calmly,

“There is nothing wrong with it,
Don’t be a big nitwit.”

Rainbow was growing more and more annoying. “Look, I’m usually all for a big match or a brawl or something like that, but I might as well give you a chance to go home crying to your mom, now. That way we don’t have to fight, and I won’t have to humiliate you.”

Rhymey snickered and then broke out laughing.

“What’s so funny?”

Rhymey then answered,

“Oh, nothing really,
it’s just that I find you silly.”

“What?!” snapped Rainbow.

“You actually think you can beat me?
You don’t know who you’re facing, Missy.
I’ve faced many strong creatures, it’s true,
And they were all far more challenging than you.”

Rainbow felt most insulting, “Oh, it is so on!” she muttered to herself. “Let’s do this!”

Rhymey nodded,

“Watch this trick,
…Starfleet Magic!” and with this shouting, he pressed on the insignia on his armor, which glowed and gave off a strong flash of light, and Rhymey was then powered up and wearing much stronger armor, with shoulder pads, a stomach guard, and slick looking visor across his eyes like shades.

“Wow! That is pretty neat.” Rainbow said, and then she snapped herself back to reality. IT was time for a Death Battle, and she couldn’t wait to make this dude cry in defeat.

FIGHT!!

The first thing Rainbow did was she zoomed straight at him in the wink of an eye, and she aimed a huge punch with her front hoof, but Rhymey surprisingly blocked her punch… with his finger. “What the?!” she cred in shock, and she tried to punch him again, only for him to block her attack with the same finger.

Rainbow then went crazy, punching furiously like a mad-pony, but Rhymey just moved his finger and blocked her every attack, until she stopped a moment to catch her breath.

“How are you doing that?” Rainbow asked.

Rhymey cracked his knuckles and answered,

“I have trained in ways you wouldn’t understand,
Far greater ways than your Wonderbolt band.”

Rainbow felt her head throb, “Oh, you did not just dis the Wonderbolts?!

“That’s not what I did say,
I didn’t mean it that way.

Believe me,
…don’t be angry.”

Rainbow was shaking furiously, “Angry…? Angry?!” she growled.

“DO I LOOK ANGRY?!!”

“Yes…
…I guess.”

Hearing him Rhymey like that really was starting to tick her off, and she dashed right for him to tackle him to the ground… except, he swerved right at the last moment, causing her to just go past him, much to her surprise, and she crashed right into a tree!

The tree snapped and keeled over, while Rainbow felt dizzy and stumbled about with stars around her head.

While she recovered, Rhymey had used his visor-computer to detect the air motion and how fast Rainbow had flown, “Mach One”

“Is that the best speed of you?
Is that all that you can do?”

Rainbow snapped herself awake, “I’ll do more than that if you don’t stop that crazy rhyming! Just give me one good shot, that’s all.”

Rhymey shrugged, and stood exactly where he was allowing her to come at him, much to her confusion.

“Oh, just a moment please…” Rhymey said, and then he pressed on his energizer insignia, powering his super suit down, and then he proceeded to take off his armor vest and tossed it aside, exposing his undershirt covering his muscular body.

“…Does that give you ease?”

Furiously, Rainbow charged at him and aimed a huge, strong kick at his gut.

CLANG!! To Rainbow it was as if she had just punched a solid steel wall. “EEEEE-AAAOW!!” she screamed. She hopped all around on one foot, clutching her sore foot groaning and moaning in extreme pain!”

Rhymey could only sigh pitifully and shake his head at her. As he then walked over to pick his armor back up and put it on, he scolded her…

“You didn’t listen to what I said,
You should have gotten it into your head.

My training makes me really strong,
The way you attacked me was just all wrong.

I stood up to you with a cinch,
Your attack couldn’t make me flinch.”

Despite all the pain she was in, Rainbow couldn’t take another one of those rhymes! “Can’t you talk NORMALY INSTEAD OF STUPID RHYMES?!!”

Rhymey felt very offended, and as Rainbow soared at him to attack him again, he extended his wings and shouted, “DRILL QUILL!” his wings glowed brightly, and he fired a barrage of sharp quill feathers that hit Rainbow like a swarm of sharp knives.

Sparks and small explosions hit her mercilessly, and she fell to the ground. Her Wonderbolt uniform then fell off her, all shredded to bits from the attack. “My uniform!” she whined.

“A small reminder of what is in store…
…if you mock my rhyming once more!”

He glared at her ever so sternly, proving he wasn’t kidding! But now Rainbow, herself was so furious that her uniform was all shredded, she was more determined than ever to make this creep pay.

“You asked for it!” she thundered, and she flew up high in the sky so high, Rhymey couldn’t see her. “HERE I COME…!” Rainbow shouted, and she dove so swiftly towards the ground, creating a great rainbow trail behind her, “Have Taste of my Sonic Rainboom Explosion!”

Rhymey didn’t need his visor to see how fast she was coming-- Mach 10. So, he just stood where he was, and Rainbow SCREAMED as she dove…

KAPOW!! She hit the ground so hard resulting in a powerful rainbow explosion that shook the land!

The explosions really leveled the area around them into a small crater.

Rainbow was flat on her back, panting heavily, but as she looked up as smoke cleared, she couldn’t believe her eyes…!

Rhymey was still standing where he was, not even scratched or bruised, just a little dusty from the explosion, and that was it.

“You-hoo.” he mocked at her.

“OH, COME ON!!” she groaned “That hit you right on the spot!”

Rhymey shook his head pitifully,

“You just never learn,
Now it’s my turn!”

Rainbow couldn’t take it anymore; especially due to the fact she was running out of options on how to beat this guy!

“I’m outta here!” she cried, and she dashed off, flying as fast as she possibly could.

Flying at Mach 10, she was away from the area in a few seconds. “Whew, I lost him.”

That’s what she thought, until someone tapped her softly from behind. She truned round, and couldn’t believe it!

“Oh…
…Hello.” teased Rhymey.

“What?! Ha… How did you…? That’s im--?

“Did I forget to mention so you’d heed?
My training also grants me super speed.”

“Care to prove it?!” Rainbow sneered.

Rhymey nodded, and they both took off at a fast rate. At first they stayed neck and neck, but Rainbow started to pull ahead. “So long sucker!” she called back, and stuck her tongue out at him, but Rhymey only smirked, and his wings began to glow.

“What the…?!” Rainbow cried.

POW!! Rhymey zoomed right past her like a hyper-drive craft, soaring past a speed-clock tower, and scaring the pony on watch. He checked the speed dial, “WHAT?! 55,800 miles-per-hour?!”

That was more than seven times as fast as Rainbow’s top speed at Mach 10! And that wasn't even his best speed, but it wasn't the point.

So fast, he flew all the way around the entire world, in a few seconds before ending right back where Rainbow was again.

Rainbow couldn’t take this! “No-Pony…! I MEAN… NO-PONY… WILL TAKE AWAY THAT WHICH MAKES ME SPECIAL FROM OTHERS!!” by that she referred to being an incredibly fast pony, and in a fit of rage, she lunged at Rhymey to attack him with everything she had…

…but he grabbed her by the tail.

“Don’t you see…?
You can’t beat me.”

And with that, an operatic song was heard as Rhymey began whirl Rainbow round and around, while singing his actions.

Rainbow goes round and round,
I send her to the ground,
Watch her stand up again,
Stumble around in pain.

She tries to come at me,
I avoid her easily,
Now look up really high,
As I knock her in the sky

Rainbow, please just give in,
There’s no way you can win!
I have you N-O-O-O-O-O-OW…
…and you have lost!

The song ended instantly, and Rainbow was looking really beat up.

“WARD SWORD!!” Rhymey shouted, and he grabbed a battle sword that materialized before him.

Rainbow, foolishly, still tried to come at him, but he held her in midair with his telekinesis sos he couldn’t even try to escape.

“This isn’t happening!” Rainbow cried!

“I’m doomed! Doomed I tell ya!”

And she was…

“THRASH SLASH!” Rhymey shouted, and his sword glowed with a bright lightning, shrouded in magical bolts, and he gave Rainbow a huge slash!

(2:39)

Rainbow screamed as her body flared up in jolts of magical beams, Rhymey then slowly turned round in a heroic pose as Rainbow, still flaring and jolting, fell to the ground and exploded in a big ball of fire!

K.O!!!

That was that, Rainbow put up a valiant effort, and though she had great speed, stealth, and experience from battle all of Equestria’s great villains, these did not compare with the powerful Starfleet training, equivalent to that of a Sayian’s strength.

The winner, by K.O, was Rhymey!

Actually, Rhymey hadn’t destroyed her at all.

He walked over to the area were Rainbow had seemingly exploded, and there, on the ground, Rainbow was shrunk down and imprisoned within a glass sphere, the size of a large baseball. The big explosion was nothing more than a transformation illusion-- like a puff of smoke.

Rhymey picked up the sphere, and doubled-clicked his energizer. This activated a magical beam that de-spelled the sphere, and restored Rainbow to her normal size. She was still badly exhausted, and pretty beat up, but she would live.

Even though she was not effectively killed, the idea of the battle was still the same: Rhymey could have easily destroyed her any time, and she didn’t have a chance against him.

“I don’t get it… why did you set me free?” Rainbow asked. “Why didn’t you finish me when you had the chance?”

Rhymey looked down at her pitifully,

“Why would I have wanted to?
I’d gain nothing by destroying you.

This whole battle was pointless to me,
But there was something I had to make you see.

You may be bold and brave, and that’s just fine.
But your cockiness and bad manners were way out of line.

As long you fail to learn and understand more,
You’ll lose every time, just like before.

It may be harmony and peace that you bring,
But even you cannot everything.

I only fight to protect others I know,
Which is why I train to be strong as so.

You and I are very different in strength and speed,
But there is one lesson that you should heed,

And that is to consider other roads and ways,
This will help you understand life as it plays.

Your ways along may not be enough,
Some enemies you fight will be really tough.

But with the right understanding, you’ll finally know,
how to crush all evil, and let the goodness grow.”

Rainbow never felt so confused, especially because she still didn’t approve of the rhyming he said, “What? So I should be like you? Forget friendship, and just mercilessly attack any creature that insults me?”

Rhymey sighed irritably, now feeling it was quite obvious that Rainbow hadn’t learned a thing from their battle, and wasn’t willing to understand.

“Perhaps it would be best if I go.
I wish you good-luck, and so-and-so.

Just take heed of our battle today,
Who knows what dangers may come your way.”

With that, he rocketed into the sky, summoned a portal with his energizer, and zipped on out into space to return to his home planet, and continue his life as a Galactic Warrior!

Rainbow just lay down on the ground and looked up at the clouds. All that time, she could only wonder how to really take what Rhymey had told her seriously? She lost the battle, which was shameful enough, but now she began to realize her own limitations.

“Maybe that’s what he meant…” she thought to herself, “Maybe I can’t always rely on just what I know, and I’ll have to be ready for tougher battles ahead.”

With that, another battle had come to an end, and Starfleet continued on their job to protect the galaxy from evil forces.

Comments

[Shuruisoul]

I am not surprise how it ended and it was three hours and already this many downs dang:(

[Super Trampoline]

You know, for someone who hates MLP, you sure write a lot of MLP stories.

[DakariKingMykan]

8493843

they're mostly bash fics.

Besides, People hate MY writing yet they go out of their way to mock it and deconstruct it instead of ignoring it. (If they don't ignore, why should I?)

[Shuruisoul]

8493929
Maybe is that they feel potential in the stories you made, most specifically starfleet.maybe they feel like they can make a story more interesting.besides not all of them are mocks.

[DakariKingMykan]

8494117

Nope, they don't care (I've proven it)

and yes they are made to mock

Legendbringer: "I didn't expect to tick Mykan off (That's just a bonus) "even if he gets good, I'll still riff him"

...any questions?

[Shuruisoul]

8494124
From that quote it tells he made fic not mainly tick off besides what is the level mock you can't stand I mean if it is a fic that downright demonize starfleet(all of it with side of positives) that no go.if it is a parody or showing of them in a different set of eyes then well it seems harmless

[DakariKingMykan]

8494135

Making Rhymey and Celesto smack their wives around and be outright bullies? Planning to attack me when I write something new?

Calling me a selish egotistical jerk for writing my fics, or tell people lies about me?

...You do the math. In fact, why are you only talking with ME about this? Try talking with them (then maybe you'll have both sides)

[Shuruisoul]

8494139
Oh okay and I think I can guess which fic the first came from.

[Srey]

Well, the fighting was simplistic and predictable.

I get that you want to make a point Mykan, but can you make your fight scenes... I don't know... cool? epic? action-y?

Because I usually love fight scenes, as I'm pretty sure I mentioned before, but that one felt... well, I actually got too bored before I reached halfway.

[DakariKingMykan]

8506581

Not without breaking the rules I can't

(Not to mention, you and I have a different def of what COOL means)

[Srey]

8506585
unfortunately we do.

Please remind me not to read your fight scenes if I ever forget that.

[Shuruisoul]

But I can say this tho you two did good Rhyme keep up the good work and rd you tried your best you win next time

[Diokno44]

8493929
WHY do you hate friendship so much?

[smile444]

8493458
i think the lonely up is a missclick

[DakariKingMykan]

8667812

1: Fix your spelling

2: Mis-click or not... it does not make a difference in me, mt preferences, or the attitude of others.

[smile444]

seriously, what do you hope to accomplish with this pseudo-death batlles ? Or with your fics on mlp in general ? Do you have fun writing thoses ? Or do you enjoy the war in the comments ? Do you have a message to pass if you don't ?

Because no matter how much you bash on mlp or it's morals, it won't prevent people from enjoying it.