By some twist of fate, something dark has found its way to Equestria. Darth Karnis, Dark Lord of the Sith has taken up residence in the Everfree Forest and is content to be at odds with his pony neighbors.
Can the Magic of Friendship reach a being who thrives on anger, hate, and violence? Or will Equestria be conquered by the Sith?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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hmm, let us see where this train is heading.
moar
How'd you come up with Karnis's name?
8616379
Just something I've been carrying around for a while. It falls into the same vein as other Sith names like Sidious, Tyranus, Traya, or Nihilous, working off of other words.
You have piqued my interest.
8616749
*in caveman voice* You write. update story. *proceeds to make ape noises*
I don't know what bull crap your spouting, saying you ain't a good writer. This was very well written, easy to follow, and very interesting. I see you have not updated in quite awhile but should you ever see this know that I would eagerly, in fact i beg you for an update. Dont need to rush just knowing you are willing to work on one would make me happy. Pls pls pls consider updating?:):):):):)
I want to like this story but it has one major problem many hie (even if Karnis isn't one) has. First impressions between the two don't go well and yet the human or non-pony is treated as the bad guy when both sides are at fault. Karnis wasn't really that rude to fluttershy and only asked her what she wanted and he simply instinctually defended himself because Rainbow in annoying Hie cliche fashion took things too far than they should have been. Yes, he did injure her, but she shouldn't have jumped to conclusions and be so reckless. The worst part is the ponies likely won't realized it and reflect that they are also to blame for this because they simply considered his actions to be worse than they actually were.
YO TIME LORD MOMENT XD
As I have said I very much do care for this story. For me I always love interactions with characters and I also like seeing interactions with characters of different universes with ponies. It may seem bland to you but what I see is you have captured well how the sith character you have created would act and how ponies could feasibly seen to react, and that ability to capture such a thing is not as common as you think and a sign of a good author with potential is such an ability
I really love reading Star wars mlp crossover stories, they are the ones I first read on the site, especially considering Star Wars is one of my favorite things, and many don’t have the best quality and so to find your gem of a story with admirable quality makes me all the more happier
10980093
Your assessment of behaviour is correct but consider it was intentional that the author wrote them this way because based on things we have seen in the show they do not always act as would be best. I’m fact while what you describe would be a better reaction it totally makes sense still with what we know or what the author believes about the nature personalities and flaws that they might react in the way that they did
It may follow some common tropes but I don’t think that is a skill issue per say and the author most likely aware of such tropes tries to add there own uniqueness as they can which is admirable and a quality I appreciate
10980165
ok but it doesn't change how annoying it is, especially since they are confused by him being "nicer" later and instead of understanding they may have been mistaken at first they remain baffled. It's like they are subconsciously refusing to even consider that they were at least partially in the wrong.
10980167
I may be annoying to some but it is in line with similar behaviour displayed in the show, some of which is very childlike and there mindset can be likened to such
Truly there is nothing wrong with including tropes and it is a personal taste I believe in this case that one may not like it rather than a reflection of skill especially considering it was probably intentional
10980171
The thing is in the show they end up learning that said questionable behavior isn't the way to go about it and the way it's written here makes it seem like they won't, though I guess we'll see.
10980175
Indeed
Also sometimes you need to be taught a lesson more than once as fluttershy demonstrated in the show, which is also not a bad thing
10980180
Yeah, I completely disagree. If you keep on having to learn something it shows you are incapable of learning which is actually very bad. Not only do you keep on making the same mistakes it also prevents you from learning other things since you keep on having to learn the same thing again and again.
10980183
Sometimes there are factors that can interfere with learning but a failure in one instant set of circumstances is not necessarily definitive of being incapable to learn something despite all circumstances. Usually learning something multiple times is the learning was incomplete the first time but not non existent and progress into eventually learning it in all its aspects is still possible.
10980186
fair enough, but my overall point that it's actually bad still stands.
10980188
A matter of opinion both are sides are
10980155
Star Wars gives us a range of bizarre aliens to play with, but the ones that always interested me the most were the "near-humans" outwardly they might look like any normal human, but there's something just a little different about them. I tried to take it a little further than others would.
Jump on Wookieepedia and look up "epicanthix." Yep, Those aren't Space Asians, they're aliens.
10980654
A unique take I very much like.
10980093
Those are valid points and I see where you're coming from. The goal of the story calls for trust and a little... maybe a lot of patience with how I write. It's a story of growth for both sides so they need somewhere to grow from.
Think, Fluttershy goes tear-assing out of the woods, spooked beyond belief, runs into Dash. Dash gets the story that, well, whatever it was is smart enough to talk, then it's smart enough to be taught a lesson. Rainbow Dash is very much the "Warrior" archetype, action first and foremost, there's no point in forethought. Something scared her best friend, that thing needs to be dealt with in kind.
Put that against a Sith Lord of advanced age. Also disposed toward action, but with a better head for the bigger picture. The best description comes from the book, Darth Plagueis, "You're response must be instantaneous and nothing less than lethal, for we are Sith and thus marked for death." Obviously, I'm not going to sear Rainbow Dash in half, but you get the idea. Two similar ideologies come together, but one is just better at it.
Given that it's Rainbow Dash, the story that got back to the others was probably spun up and embellished a little as well to seem more harrowing than the encounter really was.
Anyway, the pretentiousness of the writer defending the story. Thank you for reading what's there and I value the feedback.
10980666
Ok as long as you end up having the ponies learn and realize they are also to blame I have no complaints. Also I fail to see how it's pretentious for you to defend it when you have clearly thought about it and have a reason behind their actions. I don't know it would nice to see them start to actually think that maybe they were mistaken about him instead of continuing to be baffled by his behavior and maybe get his side. I also like how Twilight mentioned him ending up in a dungeon with it being implied it will happen without some kind of trial. I get the world's theme is more medieval than ours in some cases, but I like to think they have a modern judicial system, but no the non-pony doesn't seem to get a chance to defend himself and give his side. Something else to consider.
Am I missing something? The last chapter ended with a cliffhanger hinting at another confrontation of Rainbow vs Karnis and yet it's been skipped and apparently he got Rainbow to start flying more or whatever. Are we going to get context or better yet actually see what happened between them? Did you forget that during the year long gap between chapters? If you are going to have a cliffhanger and make us wait an entire year for another chapter you better actually continue from that point instead of skipping it and only mentioning the aftermath of a thing we didn't get to see play out offhandedly.
Another chapter yaaaay
11347366
I promise payoff. I apologize if the gap between chapters is extreme, I do work for a living and recently the powers that be decided that I don't really need to see my own home in between shifts and catching short naps in my car is more than acceptable. The end of the year approaches and soon work should slow to a stop, I might be able to squeeze out a couple more chapters.
I appreciate this interplay, I get Eternal Samson's instant joy as a reward while you hold the whip to make sure I keep the goal in mind. And on the plus side... *pauses to check* Shite, I'm not writing faster than Somber... Well I'm more than two chapters in and still going so I have a better track record than CrimsonCadenza. Small victories.
11348021
Stumbled upon this story again to find my latest response deleted. Perhaps, I was a little rude, Though so were you, so I felt it was only fair, but my issue wasn't so much your scheduling, which again I understand, but how you decided to continue with the long gap between chapters naturally making it worse. Next time you close on a cliffhanger the next chapter should actually continue with what you left the cliffhanger on. Just a suggestion.
11374854
In the interest of fairness I deleted my comments too. I didn't want people stumbling across this story only to find everyone arguing in the comments.
I understand the frustration, I really do. There are plenty of stories here that don't even end on a cliffhanger and the author just abandoned wholesale. No, the payoff wasn't immediate, but payoff is planned. I'm afraid I've put a dose of my own bias into the framing. Rainbow Dash... isn't my favorite. Most of the episodes centered on her were met with "oh boy, what problems is the jock going to manufacture for herself this time?" I probably shouldn't, but I can't help being me.
So, I'll offer a peek behind the curtain. Interactions between Karnis and Dash are meant to be sort of a running gag for a while. She wants validation, he doesn't want to waste his time on her. Jangling shiny keys to distract her. Still, that being said, no more cliffhangers like that. Any run ins they have from here on will be addressed in that same chapter.
11434654
Seems irreverent to my point. Besides, I actually prefer that over what you did. Have a cliffhanger and being like lol no I am not actually following through and instead skipping it because that's not important rofl.
That wasn't my problem with this, though hot headed and stubborn prick Rainbow is one of my most hated hie cliches. Yours didn't really hit that point yet, making this confession here more of a sign to come.
Again, my problem isn't the long wait or you ending on a cliffhanger, but you not following through and instead being like lol no skip since it's not important even though I ended that last chapter on it as if it was going to be lmao. Again, learn to actually follow through on stuff. If interactions with Dash and Karnis are just going to be minor gags, then don't end with a cliffhanger on one of them if you are just going to skip it and there only being a minor mention of him majorly changing rainbow offhandedly, then be like well I am not fond of her anyway, so it's just going to be a gag from now on. It just feels like you are trying to have it both ways and it just doesn't work. Either it's important, important enough to end on a cliffhanger on, or not and it's only a minor unimportant running gag. Pick one.