- Member Since 28th Mar, 2016
- offline last seen Jun 21st, 2020
Di-o-S
Start with a mess of words and ideas for a story then clarify so it makes sense.
Di-o-S
Joined 28th Mar, 2016 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- the7Saviors · 3.1k words · 440 6 · 7.1k views
- Antiquarian · 9.4k words · 96 0 · 2k views
- hydra30 · 110k words · 1,243 69 · 19k views
- Kaii-Leiko · 9k words · 171 5 · 3.1k views
- Skijarama · 36k words · 161 10 · 3.7k views
- SpectralFury · 2.4k words · 185 15 · 3.6k views
- SpectralFury · 2.1k words · 389 2 · 6.6k views
- Ninjadeadbeard · 4.5k words · 651 7 · 12k views
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Stats
Page generated in 0.08 seconds
Total duration
802 users online
1,291,392 hits today, 2,782,760 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
... what?
8953979
If you don't mind me asking. Which part (or parts) of the story are unclear or confusing?
8954254
I did not understand anything...
Either way it was really good at making me not wanna read. Not in a bad way. Like a scary movie you are half way into and don’t wanna watch anymore due to suspense but keep going anyway.
This is an intriguing story, especially in terms of atmosphere and detailed descriptions. As for the plot, I think I got the gist of it, though there are many vague and slightly confusing spots that I assume I haven’t comprehended correctly or at all. Still, I enjoyed reading this!
9462546
Thank you for your comment. It is perplexing, and not that well fleshed out. Looking back now it definitely needs some rewriting. I am thinking of coming back to fix problems with this story sometime within the next three weeks. If you don't mind, could you specifically point out areas you mentioned as vague and confusing? I'll mark them for correction. I'm glad you enjoyed the story, even though it's not perfect, and I will try to iron it out so it is clearer to read.
9463059
You are welcome. As for the confusing spots (at least those I can pinpoint down), I’d say Twilight talking to herself with all the direct speech marked as ‘I’ despite some sentences clearly being said by her friends(/memories or whatever) was quite jarring. Oh, and the two blue stones—most of the time, I wasn’t sure which one of them are you talking about. However, both of these issues are still minor ones, the true vagueness stemming from the broad plethora of ways the reader might interpret what’s going on.
9463082
Yes, I can see how confusing the dialogue can be, I will try to better distinguish who is talking when I'm rewriting. The paragraph about the stones is too vague, and wrapped up in its own symbolism for my tastes, and I can see the difficulty in figuring out which stone I'm describing. I think I'll tone down the symbols, and clear up which stone is being described. Again, thank you for your help.
9463250
Let me know once the rewrite is done, I’m curious how will it turn out!
I’m glad I could help