- Member Since 26th Jan, 2017
- online
Jumping Jack
A single guy who loves to play video games, reads and writes stories about colorful ponies. I have returned with new ideas.
Jumping Jack
Joined 26th Jan, 2017 ·
Online
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I don't understand how I'm the first one to comment. This is a good story idea already and I can't wait to see how it goes. Thanks for writing!
8148158 Honestly, I'm not sure either. It seems that I can never get any actual helpful tips or criticism to aid me in getting better with these stories.
So far, my FO:E fic has the most comments, yet I have only received a speck of criticism, which is greatly appreciated.
I ask that you don't be afraid to criticize or comment on stories. Doing so will increase enjoyment of making more content and probably a more enjoyable story for both the reader and the author. It's how I can be certain I won't stray from intended development or probably open up new ideas I have never thought of.
8149681 Well I'm not even very good at noticing the flows of stories, I usually just really like ideas. I occasionally have a few myself but can't really write. If any of this makes any sense.
So why does Candlejack hate Brilliant Mane so much, again? It's never made very clear to me. He seems kind of smug, but that about it.
8168879 It'll be explained later. But currently, the underground society is run by the Equestrian Round Table, or short for ETG. Basically, they are devoted to ensuring the underground is supported with a steady supply of oxygen and resources, which are primarily gathered through underground shelters and bunkers during the pre-war time before the supposed "Big Bang."
Candlejack despises the ETG to the core and Brilliant Mane himself because he has sent countless of ponies with much better out looks in life to their deaths in these expeditions. And if all goes wrong during the first expedition, as stated in the current chapter, they send in a recovery team in order to see if any AWOLs have happened or the first team never returns. And then it ends up for the recovery team to pick up where the last team failed.
In a sense, Candlejack despises Brilliant Mane more because he is the one responsible for the unexpected deaths of many that had no idea what they were doing.
Before I read this, what is the Gore and Dark tag for ?
And how bad does it get ?
8200556 The Dark tag is for the setting, character banter and interactions. Dark humor is a bit of a go to for me. The setting takes place in a dystopian future where technology has gone rogue and very few parts of Equestria are habitable enough without the aid of special suites that are supposed to combat the treacherous weather. The world of Equestria is a sand driven wasteland and it isn't without its dangers (such as bandits, pirates, machines, cults, the works).
As for gore, dystopian futures are usually during or after wars that change the fate of the world the characters live in, causing them to use alternate (and in some cases, Dark) means to survive everyday life. It's great material for character development and world building, as you have free creativity to imagine what the world is going to be like and how your characters are going to interact.
How bad does the gore get? Well, the second chapter introduces a small bit of what it has to offer. If it is something you feel squeamish about, I won't be upset. This is a story that is mature due to its' content. 
I am enjoying this story greatly. Keep up the good work!
...Candlejack is insane. There's just no other way to describe him. What's keeping Zelori from getting him help? Or better yet, committed?
8246132
There will be a small hint as to why Zelori doesn't take action as much as you would think in the next chapter. However, there are a few hints I've also left in previous chapters about Candlejack's actions.
Now this looks cool!
Reading the short description, I was expecting Gurren Lagann.
So... would I be correct in assuming that this story will not be continued?