Alternivity
Joined 4th Jul, 2013 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- WeAreTheMeta · 1.5k words · 110 13 · 2.7k views
- knight-ajax · 3k words · 145 22 · 2.4k views
- Arceaion · 11k words · 147 16 · 3.8k views
- Chri330v · 5.1k words · 184 49 · 4.1k views
- Sentinel343 · 24k words · 93 11 · 3.6k views
- Shadowflameking · 23k words · 155 41 · 4.6k views
- FL4MING_R4VEN · 25k words · 117 21 · 2.6k views
- Werewolf Cheetara · 22k words · 56 4 · 2k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.168 seconds
Total duration
790 users online
1,217,961 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
ah, a necron fic...
may your arrows be swift and true, honored one
Warning: TECH HERESY DETECTED TECH HERESY DETECTED TECH HERESY DETECTED!
You may want to include a status message about if or if not you'll be meeting other Displaced. That way people won't ask you about it if you're readdy or if you're planning to keep your story pure of cross-overs.
Dat dere iz sum good riten ya got dere tin'ead. Keep up da good WAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHK.
Frum
ChRIsKruk
AhhhahahaHHH I finally found a story with the silent king in it hahahahahahahaha
This is getting me harder then terminator armor
9493312
I know. Despairing, isn't it?
9495477
(Maybe, if you were referring to this story being another of the countless blatant, one-dimensional self-inserts. If not, ignore me haha)
Hmmm... you’ve got my interest. I’ll admit that I’m not too familiar with wh40k, so some of the down side is I have to imagine your character based on limited knowledge. Aside from that, I hope to see more of this as it has a feeling of potential. :)
More please
Give moar
Hy 40k yaeee haaaa
More
I demand more! The fanbase demands more!
9516107
Agreed let there be more
I love how this dude is so calm and collected
More!!!!!!!
Every sentient being demand more!
Would a bof
9516241
Thanks for the feedback! I'm glad you're liking it so far. I have an idea for Harvest and Szarekh's bond I want to try, if it works, yay!
Elsewise I rewrite those bits.
I'm not altogether certain how a traumatized child would act in this scenario, but I've seen cases where they almost instantly bond to their saviors, and that's the situation I want to roll with.
I'm still working out the finer points of Szarekh's personality, so bear with me, and feel free to point out any mistakes or issues you find.
Thanks again,
Alt.
9516241
To be fair, we ARE talking about a child, who had a traumatic experience, then was rescued by someone who promised to help them... Between shock and the joy of being rescued, and also from being a magical pony foal, it is entirely possible that said child latched onto their rescuer this quickly.
After all, in reality, such things can happen almost, if not as, fast with children immediately trusting people who rescue them from similar fates...even if most of those are police officers and are told to trust said officers by parents and people in authority(teachers and such)
Edit: Also remember this is still the SAME DAY, that their parent's died...yeah, maybe it's a bit fast, but since the attack, all Harvest had was our Protagonist saying he'd take care of them, and made a promise about it... And to many children, a promise is unbreakable if said by an adult.
me when i see a new update for this story. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-istquWjZ8M
9517855
Same 😂
sun1-2.userapi.com/c845521/v845521643/1cac0d/LFj0mABdQbY.jpg
a cartoonish Szarekh
A short but good chapter.
yeeet
From what dynasty is he from anyway? I don't know single one with that color palette.
not bad...not bad at all.
looking forward for more!
9521654
Szarekh is the Silent King, the ruler of all Necron.
Seeing as there are no really useful descriptions of him, I used a bit of creative license with the standard colors of the triarch preatorians as they are said to represent Szarekh directly within whichever dynasty they are present.
Purple and gold are also traditionally used to denote royalty in Egyptian culture, which the Necron take reference from.
If you find any good detailed information of Szarekh's appearance please, please, please! Send me a link to it! It would be super helpful!
9518034
That's a really cool picture, even has the Sanguinus death mask. If I recall though Szarekh's mask had a small smile marking him as a keen negotiator.
Even so very cool, love the 80's style. Did you make it? Or can I have a link to the artist?
9522190
and i will provide, this is straight from the book "the word of the silent king"
We demand more Chaos!
I'm a bit confused; in what ways did the displacement transform him? His description of his history imply that he gained not only the body, but also (at the very least) a part of the mind and experiences of Szarekh, something atypical of displaced stories. Did his transformation affect him this deeply? If so, then I think I might be even more interested in this story than I have been. If not, then I wonder why he said what he did to RD. Was it purely to intimidate her? Whatever the case, cool story, I look forward to more.
9522311
I read through 'Word of the Silent King' a few times, but aside from that section there's no other depiction of Szarekh. And even the excerpt you posted says nothing about his coloration or more than a set of differences from more common Necron and that he wore a Deathmask of Sanguinus, but apart from that he's not really described.
Thanks for trying though, I really appreciate you wanting to help me improve this story.
9522928
All I can say is spoilers!.
A very... typical beginning, but still.
Some of the best fics have the same sort of beginnings.
Eh, not bad.
I'll track this for now, as there is an annoying lack of Warhammer fics, from there, it just depends on the next couple chapters.
Hmm, intriguing. Best of the vein, colleague. Do keep up the intriguing work.
Hmmm. Interesting topic for a displaced story.
A bit too big of a run-on sentence. Try shortening it. As for the rest of the chapter, it's good, just needs a bit more meat and polishing. Just between you and me, though, I'd recommend staying far, far away from the usual trope of conventions. It's just far too cliche, and you're not typically likely to get any traction with the description that kind of beginning entails.
I'd recommend just making up Displacers that
A: Fit Midnight/Witching Hours rules
And B: Are unique and have a reason to displace someone away from a convention.
I myself have made Trader, the Merchant's daughter, as well as a few others. Anyways, I'll be keeping an eye on this one. Do feel free to shoot me a PM if you need any tips, by the by. I've been in the Displaced Story genre for at least 5 years, and writing in general for more than that, so if you want advice or help, don't be afraid to ask.
9495563 It's just someone trying to grow their skills. Give them some slack.
I'm enjoying the non involvement of the main six. I know that may come off a bit hard, but it is stories like this that reminds you. The world besides them exist.
9527635
Thanks for the feedback! I know that the description of Szarekh may be a little long winded but I felt it was more important to give him a fleshed out appearance, rather than letting it be a point of confusion later on.
I understand that my Displacement setup was lazy, and I'm trying to decide whether or not I should rewrite chapter 0.
Thanks again for the critique and I look forward to hearing from you in the future.
You have fucked with the Papa bear with this line.
RD will get into some serious problems when properly interagated
The story is good so far, please update soon.
*Daaaaawwww*
9527709
Statement: Correct.
I like