Bad Blood
A quiet, tranquil breeze flew across the great plains of Colorado. The mid-spring sun hung in the sky like a fog over the sea.The clouds had deserted the area for the day. All was right for a young Richard, dressed in his overalls, playing by a pond, looking for frogs and other creatures of the sort.
He was seething with excitement. He had finally got one. After weeks of trying, he finally did it! He had caught that big looking bullfrog and was running back to his tiny log house to show his mother. He stepped over the threshold of his house to see his mother sewing.
"Look ma! I finally got that big one in the pond!" he said as he thrust out the frog in his hand to his mother.
"Ohhhhh, isn't that great," she said, giving a small cringe and sticking a hand out, "But I think the frog would much rather be back in the pond, wouldn't you say, Richard?"
"But maaaa, I finally got it. Can't I keep it?" he whined.
"No dear. Animals belong in the wild, not little boy's houses," she said and turned back to sewing once more.
Dejected, Richard trudged back outside to where he first took the animal. Stomping down into the pond, he let the frog out of his hand and watched it swim away into the peet, out of his sight once more.
He heard a small, still cry in the distance, and a thump in the ground gradually began to grow louder and stronger. He looked up to the small hill by his home hopefully, believing his father might finally be home from trading in Denver. He started to run towards it to greet his father.
Instead, a painted brown man, adorned with a great mane of feathers, carrying a bow and riding on a gray horse, appeared over the crest of the hill instead, along with a few others following after him. Richard stopped in his tracks, turned tail, and sprinted back to his home.
"Mom! Mom! Them Redskins is comin!" He yelled to his mother in the sod house.
His mother shot from her chair, a new fearful expression donning her once tranquil face.
"Richard, get out of here! Run to town and find your father!"
"But ma! What about you? They'll kill you, them Redskins!" he said, a new fear gracing his mind.
"Richie, don't worry about me. I'll be fine. Get out of here and stay away from the natives. I'll come get you when it's safe," she cried.
She knelt down, quickly pulled him in for a quick hug, and shooed him out the door towards town. He looked back to see his mother now scurrying back to where his father kept their rifle. Though he wanted to run back and help, he remembered his mother's instructions and began to sprint as far away from the place as he could.
Richard woke from his dream, quietly sitting up, an aura of silence surrounding him as his memory/dream played back in his mind. Ambience settled itself into the quiet castle clearing as he thought of his mother's death, a small lump of sadness forming in his throat. He always hated remembering that day.
He should've done something. Anything at all. Something that would at least given her time to get away. It would've been of no use though.
"I need a drink. It's been too long," he raised himself up from his spot under a tree, grabbing his rifle.
He started to stroll away from his "bed" and sauntered onto the wooden bridge, rubbing away at his eyes and yawning. Sadly, he had run out of coffee rations awhile ago, so he was running on fumes each morning. Giving his eye on last rub, he entered the forest, heading for the town.
Pondering yesterday's events, he scowled in frustration. The search for the body had been completely unsuccessful, for the most part. There was, of course, the remaining traces of black ooze that was there, but otherwise, nothing was there, not even a carcass or blood trail to indicate another animal or vulture snatching it. A body can't just up and disappear out of nowhere without a trace, and the illogical nature of the case was starting to bother him.
But, no matter, he wouldn't be seeing it ever again. Time to focus on the task at hand.
He stopped in his usual stalking... recon spot by a large boulder. Grabbing some new foliage to camouflage himself and climbing up on top of it, he settled himself comfortably and began to observe.
There wasn't anything all that new happening inside the town. The usual pegasi were flying around, moving clouds with their hooves. The market, at least what he could see of it, looked especially busy. The guards were busy patrolling the perimeter. The children played happily with a ball near their parents. All seemed normal for the ponies of Ponyville.
He snickered at the name. He still couldn't get over the odd and funny sounding name. Ponyville. Dumb names aside, he saw nothing that would require his attention, so he dismounted the boulder and began to walk towards the apple plantation.
He had only discovered this vast plantation a couple of days ago, leading him to question his own eyesight with how easily spotted it was. The place was huge, bigger than he had seen in awhile, about as big as the old cotton plantations down in Dixie. Oddly enough though, the plantation always appeared so empty when he looked at it, no workers or slaves picking the apples, no pegasi moving clouds over it, no ponies planting new seeds, nothing.
He hopped over the poor, rusty, and rickety excuse for a fence and feasted his eyes upon thousands of healthy, strong, and exceptionally large apple trees. Whatever the soil was feeding these trees was very good. It reflected in their size and the richness of their fruit. He climbed one and picked an apple from the stem, enjoying its rich, tasteful flavor. His taste buds were bombarded with flavor, beating any he had eaten in the army out of the water. They were by and far the most delicious apples he had ever had the privilege of tasting.
Finishing his apple and licking the excess juice from his hand, he let himself down from the tree and began to explore the orchard he was in. With the place always being so empty, he figured all the workers, if there were any, were on break or in another field, which would give him some time to look around.
He walked through the uncharacteristically large apple trees and took in the scenery. The trees, the tall sentinels gazing upon him, rocked quietly in the tranquil breeze blowing through, bringing the sweet scent of ripened apples to his nostrils. Some of the leaves were starting to blow away as autumn was settling into the world. An quiet ambient noise had fallen upon the apple orchard, as if a fresh blanket of snow had just fallen on the land.
The place rang of... peace, something that Richard had not felt in a very long time. He stopped his walk, sat down beside a trunk, and just watched the orchard for a few minutes, enjoying this feeling of serenity.
The trees were reminiscent of the one he sat under with his mother, reading novels they had bought in St. Louis during the move westward. He thought of the stories of Odysseus from the Odyssey and King David from the Bible that she would tell him while his father was away. He smiled to himself. Truly, they were wonderful times, happier times, peaceful times, and he missed them dearly.
He arose from his spot and began to walk back, thinking that the workers would likely be coming back. Looking up at a tree, he stopped and climbed up one, planning to quickly grab some apples for later consumption and some for Coal. He began his plunder on the tree, grabbing as many ripe and non-insect infected apples as he could.
A distant voice began to grow ever so slightly. Richard stopped, listened, and quickly climbed higher, thinking that the workers were coming back. He leaned himself against the trunk of the tree and tried to hide behind some leaves, hoping that whatever was coming would just pass by.
Hearing the voice getting louder and louder, he spotted 2 ponies coming down the path he was just at. Great, how convenient, he said to himself. The two ponies were a bit different than the others were. One was a bright orange and was wearing some sort of stetson hat that he would see back home. Odd. It had a sort of southern drawl to its voice, very reminiscent of the Texans he had spoken with in his travels. The other one with it was a massive crimosn pony, wearing an oxen yolk around its neck. It wasn't apparently saying too much, at least from what Rich could gather at his vantage point.
"I was thinking that maybe this year, we should harvest from the south first, and work our way up instead. That would save us much more time and get our next batch of apple products out faster," the orange one said.
"Yup," replied the larger.
"I'll tell ya Big Mac. These southern fields have been a doozie. Look at the size of these babies. Why shoot! These'll be sellin' like, well, like our cider at a party!" she happily neighed.
"Yup," the larger said again.
The two were on their way past him when the orange one turned back and spied his hiding spot. Richard tensed, trying to make himself as small as possible to its face. The pony took a sniff in the air, and then a couple more. It continued to do this, coming closer and closer to the base of the tree he was in.
Damn these ponies and their sense of smell. he thought to himself.
It stopped right under the tree and looked down to the ground. A large outline of his boot print was planted into the mud right below the tree, a dead giveaway of his presence.
"Oh no," he whispered to himself.
"Huh, never seen a critter with this print before," she whispered to herself.
"Big Mac! Can you come look at this?" she yelled.
The large one came trotting back to his companion and looked at his print with her.
The two studied his boot print while Richard barely concealed his fear of being caught red-handed up in the tree. He quieted his breath and hugged the tree, trying to show as little of himself as humanly possible.
Applejack had never seen anything like this before. No animal, or pony, she had ever seen or heard of could've made this. And whatever it was, it looked big, and it lead straight into her apple tree. Seeing this, she looked up to its branches.
Nothing seemed to show. The darkness from the canopy of the tree made it hard to see anything going on in the branches. It seemed there was nothing there, but, just to make sure no new pest was eating or infecting her apples, she got an idea.
"Big Mac, you go ahead back to the barn, I'll meet up with you."
"What about this print?" he replied.
"I'm sure it's nothing. I'm just gonna check. It's nothing I can't handle with these apple-bucking legs o' mine." she said.
He paused for a second, judging if he should push the issue.
"Alright then. Be safe, Applejack," he said, turning around back the way they came.
With Big Mac gone, she walked up to the tree, turned around, and gave a huge buck to it.
The once quiet tree shook chaotically, tossing Richard around like a rag doll. He tried to wrap his legs around the trunk to provide more grip. He was barely able to hang onto the tree and regain his balance before another kick came again.
His legs failed to support his weight. This time, Richard lost his grip, his hands sliding off the trunk, cutting his fingers on the abrasive bark, and he quickly fell onto the ground, hitting it with a large thud.
Applejack didn't know what to make of the critter that fell out of her tree. The only thing she saw were the freshly picked apples that were falling out of its pockets.
"You were stealing my apples!" she yelled, slamming her hoof into the dirt.
"Look, a man's gotta eat, lady. It's been rough times in the forest." he painfully groaned to her, rubbing his right arm.
"I don't care what's going on in the forest. You stole from the wrong mare!" she charged him, preparing to head-butt him.
Richard, still nursing his wounds from the fall, was barely able to get out of the way of the charging pony, but he lost his balance and fell down.
Applejack quickly stopped and turned around, running up to the man who was starting to get himself up. Reaching a now standing Richard, she reared up and bucked him with her back legs in the thighs.
Rich went flying into the rickety fence, easily breaking the poorly maintained fence and landing near a few rocks.
He felt like he had just been hit by one of those new Bowker locomotives and then run over by a herd of bulls. This pony was strong, much stronger than the other one he had fought. One more kick from that pony and he'd be out like a light, likely with many brain cells missing. With the state he was in, there was no way he was going to able to hold a fight with this one, leaving him only one other option. He drew his rifle and sighted in the pony's leg.
His arms shook and swayed from exhaustion and pain as he desperately tried to steady his rifle on the now charging orange pony.
Applejack was not deterred by whatever this thing was drawing. She kept up her charge and prepared another blow.
A deafening crack resounded through the orchard, her leg exploded with pain. Her energy immediately fell away and she cried out in pain as she rolled to the ground, clutching the fresh wound with her foreleg.
Rich, seeing that she was no longer a threat, slowly and painfully got up and began to limp back to the forest.
Twilight Sparkle lay on a bench near a oak tree, enjoying a nice book in the late afternoon sun. The wind shook the tree peacefully across her spot and provided a little shade for the purple pony. The pegasi had scheduled a nice, cool summer day after yesterday's rain showers. The weather was wonderful, and one would be a fool not to enjoy it.
As she read on, she heard a quiet thumping on the ground, much like a pony's steps. But its sound was peculiar. It was uneven, paradoxical, and out of sync like a normal trot, which meant something must be wrong. She looked up from her book and found a bleeding, wounded Applejack slowly and painfully limping towards her. A large trail of blood followed behind her, and it was clear she had lost a substantial amount of blood.
She scrambled off of the bench, sweeping her book into the grass as she fumbled and tripped off the bench. Sprinting towards Applejack, she saw a large, gaping hole in Applejack's upper right leg, a hole that only one thing could have made.
Immediately, she knew who Applejack had crossed paths with. However, not wanting Applejack to know of her relationship with Richard, she carefully picked her words as she intervened.
"Applejack! What happened to you?" Twilight softly picked up her friend's hoof and analyzed the damage.
"Some, uhhhh..., critter in a tree was stealing my apples. I tried to stop it, but it attacked me with some sort of... loud stick in its claws," she whimpered in pain.
"Let's get you to the hospital quickly and then we'll talk. You look like you've lost a lot of blood," Twilight said as she picked her up and put her on her back.
Twilight galloped toward the hospital pondering how she was ever going to explain this to the others.
"What did the thing look like Applejack?"
Twilight sat tranquilly by the hospital room window, staring at Applejack as if at any point she may drop dead. The room smelled of moldy hay, betraying the obvious lack of care for the room. Twilight would have to mention it to the front desk before she left. The wall had apparent hoof dents in it, making Twilight wonder what had caused a pony to even do that. Applejack herself could've seen better days. Her face had lost much of its normal orange hue from blood loss, but it was slowly coming back to her as the doctors treated her hours before. Her condition showed her fatigue, one that she never had experienced in any day of work.
"Well," she croaked, "It was tall, built well, but not as muscled as a minotaur, and it was wearing these brown colored cloths over it. It also had a hat much similar to mine on it, although it was black instead of tan. Weirder still, Twilight, it walked on its hind legs, and it kept perfect balance too! If it wasn't stealing ma apples, I would've asked how it possibly managed to do that," she coughed hard into her hoof.
"But weirder than any of that, it tal--"
A huge red giant burst into the room along with an armored white pony. Big Mac rushed over to his sister next to the bed and quickly sat down next to her.
"I told you to be safe!" Big Mac yelled to her.
"And I thought it wasn't going to be anything," she said, looking at the wound, "Boy was I wrong."
She chuckled to herself. How wrong she was.
"Applejack," Shining Armor spoke up, "Can you explain what happened to you?"
Applejack told the same thing to everyone as she had to Twilight.
"Interesting," he said. He looked to the floor as if he were concocting an ingenious plan.
"Applejack, the Guard will ensure action will be taken against whatever attacked you and stole your property. If you have any questions about this incident, be sure to find me. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to start planning," he opened the door and walked out.
Twilight, seeing Applejack was okay with Big Mac, followed him out and caught up to him, walking beside him in a slow gait.
"So, what are you planning?" she asked, her eyes dejectedly looking to the floor.
"His arrest. I've got more than enough now to put him away for a long time. We can add stealing and another count of assault to his track record," he answered coldly.
She was silent for awhile, not saying anything to Shining Armor as they walked down another flight of stairs.
"What do you think of this whole thing?" he asked, ducking past the receptionist's desk.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, you've talked with this man before. You, out of everyone, know the most about him on a personal level. What would motivate him to do this?" he asked, opening up the door out of the hospital.
Once again, she was silent, not sure of how to answer. There really was nothing she could think of that could prompt Richard to steal from Applejack. As far as she knew, there was plenty to eat inside the forest if you looked hard enough for wild crops, so he wasn't starving. There was no motive and that made Twilight lose respect for him.
"I don't know," she quietly answered her brother.
"Well, I'm afraid I must get back to HQ, Twilight. Have a nice rest of your day and I'll talk to you again later. Tell Spike I said hello," he walked out towards town.
Twilight stood there for a moment before beginning the walk back to her house. As she trudged through the dry dirt road, she pondered her situation with Richard.
Her faith that he could hopefully become a integrated member of society was beginning to be shaken. At least before, when he acted maliciously towards others, it was towards their enemies. But now, this one was personal. He had attacked her good friend and he was stealing from her when he did it! How could she find a way to forgive him for that?
"Ohhhh... this is the hardest lesson of friendship I've had to learn," she said to herself, as she entered her house.
She knew that there was only one way she was going to get answers, and that was visiting the man at the castle.
And with that thought in mind, she prepared her spell and teleported to the castle.
Richard had seen better days. The orange pony had done a huge amount of damage to his chest and legs. He was surprised his ribs and lungs were somehow still intact, let alone functioning. He slowly limped over the fallen tree near the castle.
He knew everyone in the town probably heard what he did. Knowing the white guard pony, he's probably on his way to get him as he spoke, which meant there wasn't a lot of time.
As he reached the wooden bridge, he spied Coal grazing by the old willow trees.
"Coal," he yelled out to the black-gray stallion, "We gotta get out of here."
The horse stood up from his graze, and seeing his rider's condition, trotted briskly over to him.
"Good Lord, Richard. What happened to you?" he worriedly asked, his urgency to help his rider clear in his voice.
"Had a run-in with another pony and it gave me a lickin'. Boy that thing can kick," he remarked, flopping down to rest on the willow trunk.
"Well, where are you hurt? Are you bleeding? Any broken bones? Tell me what's going on!" Coal shouted.
The man opened his shirt to examine the damage he had taken. Indeed, his chest was a deep red-purple, with hoof-marks prominently accented inside of his skin. None of his chest sides were fallen, so at least none of his ribs and cavities were broken. Coal winced at the sight of his rider's injuries, and desperately tried to think of something to do.
"You're gonna be ok, Rich. Just rest there," Coal shuddered.
All of a sudden, they heard a loud crack, like a branch broke off of a tree, go off. Rich instinctively reached for his rifle, prepared to take on whatever threat came for him. Coal, startled, looked to see what had happened.
A sigh came from the clearing. "Why is it when something happens nowadays, it always involves you?" A disgruntled Twilight stepped past Coal and stopped at Richard.
"Well, you know, gotta keep things from being dull for the sweet ponies of Ponyville," he joked, "How's the one I shot?"
"She'll live. Applejack's a tough nut to crack," she said, coldly.
"You know this pony well?"
"Of course. She's one of my best friends," she replied back, with a bit more malice.
"You sound a bit angry," he said before quickly shutting his mouth, realizing the stupidity of what he just said.
"Oh really? I sound mad? Not only did you shoot my best friend in the hoof, but you were also stealing her apples which, may I remind you, are her livelihood? What is wrong with you?" she screamed.
"Well, a lot of things," Coal snarkily replied.
Twilight turned and glared at him with the rage of a thousand suns.
"Okay, I'm just gonna go graze over there. Heh heh, bye Rich!" he ran off to a patch of grass.
Rich turned back to Twilight. "Look, food's been a bit scarce right now," he defended himself.
"Well, why didn't you come ask me? I've could've helped you!"
"Oh, yes. Because I'm just going to stroll into the place where everybody wants me dead, stop at your house, and just beg for food like some tramp? I already have Capt F***face looking for me 24/7, so what makes you think I'm gonna come ask you for help?" he replied back, equally angry.
"That doesn't excuse you from taking those apples and shooting my friend!"
"Well, what do you want me to do, princess? I didn't want to shoot your friend, but it happened anyway. I'm just trying to survive out here and keep myself and Coal alive!
They both stopped and looked at the ground for some time.
Twilight looked up, "Maybe it's best if you leave this place. Shining Armor is probably mustering guards to take you back to Canterlot for trial. BY this point, he has more than enough evidence to put you away or have you executed," she said, her voice having lost all the fire in it.
"Yeah, I think I'll do that, " he said, slowly and painfully lifting himself up, and limping over to pack his stuff.
Twilight, seeing she had nothing else to say, got up and teleported away.
Richard and Coal were at the edge of the forest, staring into the plains that awaited them.
"Well, Coal, one chapter ends. Another one awaits us," he said, his voice sounding a bit sad.
"Where are we headed?" Coal asked.
"Wherever this world chooses to take us, I suppose," he replied, uncertain.
"Come on, old friend, let's go exploring," Rich said.
They stepped onto the plains and never looked back.
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Applejack was always one to leap first and look later. It wouldn’t surprise me if she lost her bucking leg because of her stubbornness, as for the Royal Gaurd well it’s good to see them somewhat competent.
I can see this from Shining Armors perspective I suppose depending on the timeline he might still be burning from his failure to protect ponies at his wedding. So this might be seen as a redemption for his past incompetence, Twilight, well she at best has conflicted feelings now. Richard tryed to help and he was hunted for it, now yes he shouldn’t have stolen but he needs to eat after all. It just cost Applejack her bucking season from the looks of it.
I’m worried that Shining might send cocky gaurd stallions to their death to try and capture Richard.
While the whole, "stealing is wrong" is true, I seriously don't think AJ should freak out over a few stolen apples, when she has THOUSANDS to spare. Also SHE attacked first, and broke a few rips, and plenty of bones. All he did was shoot her in the leg. So if anything SHE should be the one charged for assault.
9057401
Ask and you shall receive
peat
one last rub
Questionable, both from an in-universe standpoint (given how much they seem to resort to "sealed evil in a can" tactics) and from a "good writing" standpoint.
Equestria seems to be a "Victorian technology, progressive-end-of-modern society" setting and the U.S.A. is the only developed nation in the world that still allows capital punishment (among other reasons, because it desensitizes the citizenry in a problematic way)... not a surprise though. The rest of the world sees the U.S. as being rather barbaric for a number of reasons. (Capital punishment, second-most guns and gun homicides by a mile, a terribly ineffective educational system paired with ratings-obsessed news media, a culture that takes obsession with celebrity to an unhealthy degree, terrible political corruption, corporate overreach verging on dystopia, even Cuba does a better job of ensuring healthcare for its citizens, etc.)
Just like bringing up charging for non-elective medical procedures or bringing up capital punishment (without them dismissing it after the HiE brings it up) is a sure-fire way to cause a non-American's mind to do a record needle scratch and then jump to the conclusion that it was written by an American who doesn't travel internationally.
Beyond that, the conversation with Twilight gave me the impression that your outlook on crime trends toward barbaric and juvenile. As qazse pointed out, what he did is justifiable as an act of self-defense while Applejack committed assault. (Again, something which gives me the impression that you're American... given what I've seen of how law enforcement behaves in the U.S. compared to other developed nations.)
What's that thing with the teeth?
9293298
Previous chapter homedog. I guess i didn't provide enough description. My bad
9291407
Very true. Applejack attacked the guy without listening to him and could have seriously injured or killed him. It seems like she is the one to blame for this particular mess, but she probably didn't see it that way when telling her story and likely painted Richard as the aggressor.
Some mistakes I noticed while reading:
"Well, why didn't you come ask me? I've could've helped you!"
An quiet ambient noise
-
Overall I quite enjoyed this rewrite, the descriptors used within this chapter really flesh out each scene, thus making them more vivid. With this chapter serving as a catalyst to thrust Rich and Coal unto what could potentially be a grand sweeping adventure, I must say that it has definitely accomplished its primary goal. Overall pacing seemed relatively fine, although I would point out that the character of Twilight seemed a bit too devoid of emotion when she sees Applejack shot, and bleeding profusely; although I wouldn’t necessarily label this as a criticism. I could also say the same thing about Applejack getting shot. However her character is one of strength and mental fortitude, so I can definitely see her trying to push through it all. The only real issue I take is the fact the Big Mac seemed completely oblivious to the noise that a gun shot would produce, although that could potentially be explained as him being far enough away and the Orchard being so large that the sound could have dissipated enough, as to not register as something he should worry about.
In conclusion this chapter did some fantastic things, as well as actually create suspense, with what I’m assuming to become the, or if not one of the main antagonists, alluding to prior experiences in his dream (Which might create a more sympathetic Luna, or at least not willing to completely villainize him as this worlds politics begin to take shape) There’a a lot of promise with this story, and I look forward to continue reading.
A note to the author: I must express surprise that this chapter is even a thing, I would be lying if I said otherwise, as due to the amount of time from the previous chapter nine to this completely reinvisioned one, I just assumed that this story died prematurely like most fics on this site. So with that said, I think congratulations are in order! With my previous critique and praise of this story, I am overjoyed that it still breathes, I find the setting and the character rather interesting, and I definitely look forward to more of this in the future. Thank you for sticking with your mettle, and I’m sorry I didn’t get your message a week ago.
9695892
Still drafting because I've been having trouble deciding on what to do with my two characters. Have a couple ideas but still testing the waters
Not a issue, but something odd I noticed. He is not using his sword (saber) anymore, should't he be considering saving ammo?
DROPPED BOOK
An interesting and good story, but will it continue?