• Member Since 26th Nov, 2018
  • offline last seen 9 minutes ago

Destiny Chaser


A Chaplain for Bronies

T

Adopted from infancy, Equestria is the only world Flash Skies has ever known and loved. A beautiful world filled with adventure, love, and awesome friends, life is good. But when you're the only member of your species in an alien world, eventually you want to find out where you came from and if there are others like you. With the help of his friends, he finds his way back to Earth, but will he like what he finds? He may discover more than he bargained for, and an enemy that's been waiting for him to come home.

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 10 )

Flash really reminds me of the Smallville incarnation of Clark Kent, what with the Good Samaritan act and the super strength(in fact, this whole first chapter has a rather CW feel about it). And I think Damien makes for a great potential recurring villain. I look forward to meeting Enrique as well, but it'd be cool to see Damien maybe bypass his boss one day.
Congrats on finally getting the story out there!

Aww, Flash and Bright Skies are sweet there at the end! I hope there's plenty of wholesome growing up chapters ahead.
Some notes I took:

“We’re trying Straight Shot!”

People don't tend to say each other's names in casual conversation like that, unless they actively have to get each other's attention.

Do people really call the pacifier on top of a milk bottle a nipple? That just seems... off, to me.

I bet that literally everyone reading this will have to look up "cumulonimbus", cause I sure as heck had to! :twilightsheepish:

I really liked the way you described the effect that Celestia's presence had on everyone, how in control and calming she is. She kind of reminds me of Jacob from LOST sometimes, and I could almost hear his violin theme playing in the background during those passages.

9722381
Haha thanks!!
I didn't think of the Smallville thing, though I'm flattered :raritywink: Flash is not as strong as Clark though haha, just a very athletic pegasus. Weaker than a strong earth pony, still stronger than most any human.
I shall have to consider the recurring villain thing...

Nice to see more of adopt a human stories . They are always my favorite . Keep up the great work !

Not a bad bit. Consider my interest piqued.

Well it's not the dump-'em-in-the-Everfree introduction that most visitors get, novelty! I look forward to seeing more of this.

9731305
It is an honor to have you and your well-experienced commentary here. I shall do my utmost!

9731314
I'm trying to go against HiE stereotypes with this storyline, one of my main objectives as a matter of fact.

9731582

'twill certainly be interesting to see how things go with this random kid growing up with Pegasus magic.

As to the clichés, having him grow up immersed in Equestrian culture, too young to remember anything of his origins, will make for a fascinating growing-up story. Traditional HIE stories inevitably bring baggage and angst with them, as the interloper pines for home and/or relates to everything through the lens of his own ingrained Terran culture. But in this unique case, he gets a blank slate. promising!

I just hope we can skip the utterly done to death bullied-as-a-child-because-i'm-different emotionally scarring backstory. There are more options out there beyond orphanhood, angst or a saccharinely idyllic childhood you know. (muttered ranting about mainstream heroic origin stereotypes ensues.)

9731747
Haha I am so grateful for your commentary.
No, I plan to let him have a very good experience growing up, ponies being very welcoming and accepting. There may be one bully, but it will not be an overarching plot but rather, reflective of real life experiences of growing up and a learning experience rather than emotionally scaring.

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