After losing his family in a car accident, Starburst resorts to a life of solitude and a job at the Sweet Shoppe, with the world's most easily excitable baker as an acquaintance. The last thing he expected was a challenge . . . or a bet that would bring him back down a path that he left behind years ago.
He has nothing to lose. What does a guy like him have left to lose?
Inspired by March comes in Like a Lion. Go watch it, it's amazing.
Putting this up after someone here in this website found out about this story. Apparently I didn't credit it. Sorry about that Umino Chika.
Chapters (3)
What's a paulownia?
A paulownia is a small Southeast Asian tree with heart-shaped leaves and fragrant lilac flowers.
The paulownia is widely known for its regenerative power, being able to successfully regrow from their roots after harvest, ability which granted it yet another name: Phoenix Tree. This also ties into a Chinese Legend that a Phoenix would only land on a Paulownia and even then, only if a good ruler were in power. It also cannot thrive in the shade of other trees and lastly, while its seeds, seedling, roots and mature trees are susceptible to rot, its wood
I have reviewed this HERE.
Ooh, update! Looking pretty good so far. However, the transition between the sub-chapters feels like it's missing something. I'm not sure what it's missing, but it gets slightly confusing.
8047751 Confusing . . . must be the switch between moods. It's radical, drastic even.
Hmm, definitely not a bad beginning. There are many question marks floating around and the boredom of Starburst was emphasized a little too much for my taste, but I must admit, you have my attention
You do justice to inventive descriptions and your style reads well, with an occasional unclear or too vague sentence sneaking in. Also, FIMFic allows you to split the story into chapters, so why have two of them crammed into one?
Your grammar and spelling is good too, there are only a few recurring issues I'd like to point out.
First, the puncuation symbol for aposiopesis (some people also call it ellipsis) are three dots with no spaces inbetween - like this ...
Second, remember that numbers break the attention of the reader from the story - simply because they look differently than normal letters. So, it's better to write numbers by words. (Exception can be some codes and such, but that's not your case probably)
Last is the direct speech. Remember that when a speaking action follows, the direct speech shouldn't end with a full stop (.) but a comma (,) instead.
A few examples:
It should be:
Should be:
And that's all I wanted to say. If there is anything unclear or you have additional questions, feel free to ask.
Have a nice day!
8051803 I'll try to the best of my still developing abilities, but the results won't be perfect, only mediocre. Thanks for the advice as well!
8051856 As long as you want to improve, everything is good
However, this story surely isn't that bad how I maybe made it sound. You're welcome 
*he had last seen. You're using past-within-past form here
So the rule, as Everfree has hinted at, is to start lowercase (and comma instead of a period at the end of the direct speech) whenever the sentence following it cannot stand alone. She asked/said/etc, is always such a case, even if there is more afterwards. So this needs to be "she asked ..."
*persons Also there is a redundant line break.
8112210 Thanks for the comment!
missing period
redundant whitespace
missing line break
(These are tiny nitpicks. You have good grammar.)
Review incoming-ish.
Um, here it is.
8114339 Oh, well... yay...
-shakily moves cursor to the link-