Rock, Paper, Scissors

by Berry Delight

Or, as it used to be known.......

Princess Luna strolled through the halls of the Crystal Empire Castle, the clinking of her shoes making a small echo. As she walked, her gaze went from door to door, searching for one in particular.

Finally coming across it, she pushed the door open with her magic to see her sister, Princess Celestia, playing peek-a-boo with a young alicorn foal.

Hearing her enter, the sun princess turned. "Ah, Luna; there you are. Cadance and Shining Armor have already left; can you stay here with Flurry while I go to the little alicorn's room?"

Luna smirked. "But of course."

Celestia smiled gratefully and scurried out of the room. Chuckling, the night princess made her way over to the little pink filly sitting on a large, plush rug.

Flurry giggled and clapped her tiny hooves. "Auntie Woona! Auntie Woona!"

"Hello to you as well, little one," "Woona" said, sitting next to her.

"Play game?" she asked with pleading eyes.

"Very well. What kind shall we play?"

"Rock paper scissor!" the foal cried.

Luna frowned, confused. "What?"

"You know! Rock," with a poof of magic, a rock appeared, "paper," as did a sheet of paper, "scissor!" and finally, scissors.

Luna looked at the objects for a moment. "Oh!" she said, as it dawned on her. "You mean 'War, Truce, Banishment."

Now it was Flurry's turn to be confused. "Wah?"

"Tis a game we played over a thousand years ago," she explained. "The rock is a weapon that you throw in a war, the truce is a peace treaty written on paper, and the scissors are banishment, representing the cutting of ties with somepony. Celestia and I used to play it all the time when we were foals. For some reason, no one else wanted to play with us; neighboring kingdoms were especially hesitant...." Luna shrugged. "Tia and I have even begun playing it since I returned! Though, banishment is a rather..... sore subject. Now it's 'War, Truce, Execution.'" She levitated the scissors in front of her. "Now the scissors represent-"

"LUNA!!!!!!!"

Luna turned to see a horrified Celestia standing in the doorway. "Ah, welcome back, sister. Have you been relieved?"

"Luna, what are you doing?!"

"Teaching Flurry Heart the history of our favorite game." She frowned at the expression on her sister's face. "What is the matter?"

"The matter?! Luna, you can't teach her stuff like that! She's two, for pony's sake!"

"Youngness of age does not mean she cannot have appreciation for traditions in times past," Luna argued.

"War and execution? You'll scar her!"

"Play!" a tiny voice cried.

Startled, they turned to the foal on the floor. "Flurry?" Celestia asked.

"Play!" Flurry repeated. "Play war!"

Celestia glared at her younger sister. "Now look what you've done."

Luna ignored her. "Only one thing to do now......."

---

2 hours later

"Think they're doing ok? We came back earlier than expected," Shining Armor asked.

"Not my fault somepony fell asleep face first into their food," Cadance teased. "And I'm sure they're fine."

The two paused outside the door of their daughter's room. "Again, play again!" they heard her say.

"Very well," came Luna's voice. "1, 2, 3, go!"

"Aww, they're playing a game together," Cadance whispered. "Let's watch, but not interrupt."

Shining nodded and opened the door just wide enough for the two to peer in. All they could see at the moment was Princess Luna seated on the floor in front of Flurry.

"And the winner is....... Execution!" Luna exclaimed.

"NO!!!!!!!!" howled a voice from the closet.

Cadance and Shining's jaws dropped. What was going on?

"Three times in a row, and ten times total!" Luna noted. "For a foal, you have a bit of a dark side....." Then she whispered under her breath, "Though for one who was named after a disaster they caused that nearly destroyed an entire empire, it's not entirely surprising...."

"Ezza-coot! Ezza-coot! Ezza-coot!" Flurry cheered.

"Alright. Bring out the prisoner for execution!" Luna ordered.

The couple watching in the doorway nervously gulped as a regretful Sunburst opened the closet door and levitated out a hogtied Celestia, complete with a magic blocking device on her horn to prevent escape. "My apologies, Y-your Highness," he whispered when his levitation spell gave out under her weight, dumping her to the floor.

The sun princess ignored him, instead fixing her glare on the smug blue alicorn before her.

"What kind of execution method would you like to choose this time?" Sunburst asked.

"The guillotine has yet to be used," Luna added.

Celestia was glaring daggers at her. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

Luna shrugged. "Mayhaps."

"When did we get a guillotine?" Shining whispered to his wife.

"Who cares?" she whispered. Louder, she said, "Stop! What is going on?"

Everypony in the room turned, noticing them for the first time.

"Mommy! Daddy!" Flurry clapped her hooves.

"Save me!" Celestia begged.

"Princess Cadance! Th-they made me!" Sunburst whimpered.

Luna waved. "Hello Cadance, Shining. How was your night?"

"Not bad," Shining replied. Cadance slapped him upside the head. "Ow! I mean, uh, yeah! What's going on?"

"Just playing a game," Luna replied casually.

"With a guillotine?!"

"....Yes?"

"I just want to know one thing." Cadance stepped forward with a determined look. "Can we join?"

---

"Ezza-coot!"

"You heard her Shiny! The guillotine awaits!"

"Cadance, why have you forsaken me?! And why am I wearing purple shoes?!"

"Oh, quit whining and be a stallion," Luna scolded.

"I'm too young to be beheaded!"

"Relax, it's just rubber," Cadance said, as she escorted him to the fake guillotine.

"Then why is Sunburst holding a funeral wreath?!"

"It adds a touch of realism," Luna stated. She turned to her sister. "Right, Tia?"

Celestia scowled as she rubbed the rope burns near her hooves. "Indeed," she said through gritted teeth.

Cadance shoved the squirming unicorn into the device's headrest. "Any last words, dear?"

The prince turned his pleading eyes to his daughter seated a few feet away, watching everything. "Flurry, have mercy!"

The filly grinned. "Bye Daddy."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Author's Note:

.......
I don't know.......

Been trying to write something for months. This is what happened. Hopefully it at least got some laughs.

Does anyone get the purple shoes reference?

Comments

[Crack-Fic Casey]

"When did we get a guillotine?" Shining whispered to his wife.

When did you get a rubber guillontine?

[Berry Delight]

7973950 King Sombra had a lot of stuff in his basement.

That's all I can tell you right now.

[MoonlightEclipsed]

This sums up my reaction to this story XD

[Berry Delight]

8313656 That's quite alot of laughter; i do hope your sides are alright glad it entertained you though!

[MoonlightEclipsed]

8314306
you killed me, simple as that XD I died laughing

[Puckuu]

8313656
Mine too.

[Mirror Star]

Funny and weird at the same time. I like it.

[Berry Delight]

8607396 Well, that is my go-to style Glad you liked it.

[Amethyst_Dawn]

Flurry Heart has a dark sense of humor...

Headcanon accepted. I'm going to have to read more of your stuff!

[fanreader999999]

Don't get the reference but the story: underwhelming

[Skyblazer9]

This is the type of game the Addams family would enjoy playing with a "real" guillotine instead of a rubber one.