• Member Since 15th Oct, 2015
  • offline last seen April 22nd

BlakFyre


THIS FIRE BURNS ALL THE WAY!!!!!!!!!! (If you know the song I'm referring too, you're the best)

Comments ( 16 )

Ah alright I'll bite. Let's do this.

Kinda want more, not bad stuff.

7832127

Thank you. I'm glad you like it.

7832138 This story can fall under slice of life, at least it feels like it to me, keep it up. The pleasure is mine my friend.

Expected the soundproof spell to not work. Got disappointed :(

But it's a really good fic :D

I gotta say, thought Spike was gonna end up, well not getting screwed I suppose, but the ending was a nice way to tie the knot on what started this entire debacle. I can appreciate that, cause up until that paragraph, I was pretty sure Spike and his part in the story were being sidelined at the end. Conclusions are magic.

7931757

Thanks. I originally intended for Spike to get lucky in the end. But then I remembered the confrontation he and Twilight had with the vines, so I had to scrap the idea.:twilightsheepish:.

7932844 Always a hard choice to make, but natural progression demands it. You'd have to do like an epilogue if you really wanted to go there in order to keep the flow of the story right.

I thought the barn smelt a mite funny..

It looks like previous chapters, but with a lot of euphemism :)

Holy shit that first paragraph was big, I thought I was looking at a castle wall for a moment! XD While not a big deal at all, splitting long paragraphs in some shape or form makes it much more easier to read.

"Blergh." Look, it's all decently written, most it good even but, most of those paragraphs are just plain too long. I nearly go cross eyed trying to read them. I don't know specifically when a paragraph gets too long, nor how to appropriately split them but, if my experience with English and literature has taught me anything, it's that grammar and punctuation remains as important no matter what you're writing, especially when you know other's will be reading it.

Another thing I noticed is how often you use the same "names" (I've forgotten the technical term for it) when exchanging actual names with another, like how "The intelligent mare" is used instead of always saying Twilight all the time. Because I'm having trouble remembering the technical names and terms, I'm also having trouble explaining the issue.

However, the idea, the story itself, is fine, as far as I can tell anyway.

9085290
I usually break a paragraph whenever chracters are about to speak. I’m not quite sure when to properly split a paragraph when it drags on too long.

As for the name thing, I felt it would be kinda redundant if I just repeated characters names all time like “Spike did/said that” or “this happened to Twilight” for the entire damn story. So I decided to just use pronouns like he/she or used an adjective that described the character.

10076101
Kinda but not really. I’d say it’s more pseudo (false). I explained in a later chapter that the plant is designed so that both parties involved consent to act. You could argue that prior to plant’s effects taking place that it could be considered nonconsensual, but it’s still a bit of a stretch since they both end up consenting in the end anyway.

At least it wasn’t rape. This time

Login or register to comment