Hearth's Warming at Celestia's Academy for Gifted Unicorns

by TooShyShy

Hearth's Warming at Celestia's Academy for Gifted Unicorns

Author's Note:

Happy Hearth's Warming!

“Oh, you have got to be kidding me!”

Moondancer stood frozen in the doorway, a stack of textbooks balanced on her back. She had just traversed what seemed like a quest’s worth of empty hallways. Emphasis on empty. And somehow she’d stumbled into the one classroom that inexplicably was not empty.

Starlight Glimmer had curled up on the floor directly in front of the blackboard. She was surrounded by her own personal book fortress. Standing guard atop the mighty walls of Starlight’s Fortress of Learning was a lone cup of coffee. The words "Best Student" were stamped on the mug. A gift from Starlight to Starlight. Starlight herself had her muzzle planted firmly in The Tome of Time Travel.

“As if anypony could survive that!” Starlight continued angrily. “I can think of five better ways to do it!”

Eager to prove herself to, well, herself, Starlight teleported a nearby notebook to beside her hoof. She opened it and began scribbling a series of complex equations.

Moondancer made no small amount of noise as she entered the room. She levitated her books onto the floor, the thought of throwing them flitting across her mind.

“Excuse me,” Moondancer announced. “Would you kindly take your things and get out?”

Starlight hadn’t seemed to notice Moondancer entering the room. However, her response said more than enough. Her muzzle still buried in her equations, Starlight cast a protective bubble around her fortress. This handy little spell effectively sealed her off from the invader’s whining.

Moondancer could have found another empty classroom. Celestia knew there were plenty of those, what with ninety-percent of the school gone for the holidays. But Starlight’s mute denial of Moondancer’s basic wish struck a nerve. Moondancer decided that this was her classroom and Starlight was the ruffian daring to invade her sacred domain. Her anger rising, Moondancer opened her mouth to scream out an insult that would probably go unheard.

Trixie appeared in the doorway behind Moondancer. She looked as if she’d stepped out of bed and then teleported straight to the school building. Yet she still managed to appear fierce as she regarded the surprise usurpers.

“The Great and Powerful Trixie is not signing autographs tonight!” Trixie snapped. “You ponies need to leave this very minute!”

Moondancer whirled around, hardly believing her bad luck. Of all the ponies she’d expected to be staying during the break, Trixie was low on her list.

“No, you need to leave!” Moondancer fumed.

Trixie seemed appalled at the very notion.

“And who do you think you are, bossing around the Great and Powerful Trixie?” Trixie barked. “Trixie has no time to entertain the fantasies of some disrespectful, homely...”

The list would have gone on for quite a while if Sunset Shimmer hadn’t appeared to take Trixie’s place in the doorway.

“Oh come on!” Sunset wailed.

Moondancer stared at Sunset in utter incredulity. Another one?! Had half the school secretly remained over the holidays?

“Every single one of you needs to leave!” Moondancer shouted. “I was here first and...”

Trixie let out a derisive laugh.

“Are you really playing that card?” Trixie scoffed. “How old are you? Five?”

Moondancer’s eyeroll and resentful sigh were enough of a retort. Okay, so she’d hit a bump in the track. Several bumps in the track actually. That was fine. Bumps could be smoothed out. And if Moondancer had to choose one to smooth out first, it was definitely going to be the loud-mouthed showmare.

“Why don’t you just find your own classroom?” Moondancer countered.

Sunset spoke up at last, barging past Trixie to fully enter the room.

“Why don’t you both go back to your bucking dorms?” Sunset demanded.

Unfortunately, Trixie and Moondancer were having none of that.

“Stay out of this!” Trixie and Moondancer shouted as one.

Twilight Sparkle arrived at that moment, levitating a single book in her magic. She seemed unsurprised to find that this empty classroom had turned into a social interaction hub.

“Hi girls,” Twilight greeted them all calmly.

With that, Twilight strode to a spot just outside of Starlight’s fortress. She plopped down next to the wall and opened her book. Without so much as glancing around, Twilight enveloped herself in the fascinating world of Inter-dimensional Travel for the Uninitiated.

“If you won’t leave, the Great and Powerful Trixie will file a complaint!” Trixie threatened.

This ludicrous announcement made both Moondancer and Sunset howl with laughter.

“File a complaint with who?” Sunset sneered. “We’re the only ponies here! And we don’t give a flying buck about any of your complaints!”

Moondancer shook her head. How in Tartarus had this dense creature known as Trixie been accepted to Celestia’s Academy for Gifted Unicorns?

“Even if there was somepony to listen to your whining, you don’t own this classroom,” Moondancer chided. “You can’t order us to leave anymore than you can get somepony else to remove us.”

That stopped Trixie in her tracks. Obviously her usual method—complain, bat her eyelashes, repeat ad infinitium—wasn’t going to work.

“Then Trixie shall remove you herself!” Trixie burst out.

A magic aura abruptly wrapped itself around Moondancer and Sunset. The two mares cried out as they were lifted off the ground. It was easy for them to forget that underneath all that boasting there had to be a skilled unicorn. Otherwise Trixie would have fizzled out at the entrance exam with the hundreds of other unfortunates. And unlike most students, Trixie had no qualms about turning her magic against her fellow knowledge-seekers. But equally unfortunate for her, Sunset also had no qualms about using magic to put somepony in their place.

Ignoring Moondancer’s shouting and flailing, Sunset prepared a small but effective spell she made use of quite often. A ring of flame began to materialize around her head like some sort of immense halo. She sucked in a long breath, closing her eyes. Then the ring of flame was rushing straight towards Trixie.

Trixie let out what can only be described as a great and powerful shriek. She released Moondancer and Sunset from her magic as she dived out of the way.

“ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR CELESTIA-BLESSED MIND?!” Trixie screeched.

But the ring of fire had struck the floor and evaporated instantly, leaving no trace. It was merely a cheap illusion Sunset used to scare the manure out of anypony who got in her face.

“Are you?” Sunset countered. “This classroom doesn’t belong to you and you know it, you talentless mule!”

This set off a fresh wave of insults between the pair.

Twilight turned a page in her book. She’d read it several times, but the theories put forth in it still fascinated her. Who knew inter-dimensional travel was such a gold mine for speculation?

Moondancer retreated into a corner and tried to tune it all out. She’d given up on rational debate or mindless squabbling. The end of a very long book list was calling to her. Frowning, Moondancer opened Converting Magical Energy for Geniuses.

Sunset and Trixie continued to exchange verbal blows for several minutes. Sometimes Trixie struck a nerve, but more often than not Sunset scored extra points for striking Trixie right in the gut. Trixie had clearly met her match when it came to tongue-sparring, yet she refused to give in. That is until they both ran out of ways to say “unintelligent” and “useless”.

Trixie chose her own corner of the room to settle down. Glaring daggers at Sunset the entire way, she curled up with a copy of her favorite book of unfinished spells.

Sunset camped out by the door as if guarding it. Before her lay a notebook and a large book about powerful ancient artifacts. She flashed Trixie a cold stare before she became absorbed in her book.

Silence reigned until Starlight finally lifted her protective bubble.

“What in Celestia’s name are you all doing here?” Starlight demanded.

Trixie spoke up immediately.

“The Great and Powerful Trixie has graciously sacrificed her holiday festivities for her studies!” Trixie boasted. “Trixie would never dream of disappointing her family, even if it means not being able to see their wonderful faces this Hearth’s Warming!”

Feigning deafness proved difficult for Sunset. She slammed her book closed and regarded Trixie as if she was a fly in her hay fries.

“Since when does the Great and Powerful Show-off care about studying?” Sunset snapped.

Trixie appeared genuinely taken aback by Sunset’s question.

“I will have you know that Trixie has the third highest test scores….,” Trixie began defensively.

Twilight turned a page in her book again. If she wasn’t mistaken, she was getting to the meat of it.

“Fourth highest,” Twilight corrected boredly. “The third highest would be Moondancer.”

Moondancer looked up at the sound of her name, her expression bored. Observing she was being praised rather than attacked, Moondancer simply gave a nod of acknowledgment. Then her gaze dropped to her book. Another yelling match was the last thing she wanted.

“So you’re beneath the Great and Powerful Trixie?” Trixie observed triumphantly. “And you call me pathetic? No wonder you’re hitting the books instead of spending time with your family!”

This was the last straw for Sunset. Forgetting any imagined boundaries, Sunset marched directly over to Trixie, her nostrils flaring in absolute rage. She had never been more fed up and angered by another pony in her entire life.

“You want to know why I’m not with my family?” Sunset growled. “Let me tell you a story, you stuck-up piece of manure! Once upon a time, there was a foal named Sunset. She thought that if she studied very hard, her parents would be proud of her. But you know what, you ignorant son of a mule?”

And then, to the shock of everypony in the room, Sunset reached forward and struck Trixie across the face. But despite there being obvious rage behind the blow, it was more of a gentle tap. What shocked Trixie more than the blow itself was the abrupt violence. She’d never been hit in the face before. Nopony had ever disliked her enough to lay a hoof on her.

“What the Tartarus is wrong….?” Trixie started.

But then Trixie stopped. For the first time in her life, her full attention was focused on the pony before her. She wasn’t thinking about herself, her reputation, or even the light stinging aftermath of the blow. Trixie was staring into Sunset’s eyes. She was watching as the tears spilled over Sunset’s cheeks and collected at the base of her muzzle.

“You know what?” Sunset continued, her voice heavy. “It wasn’t enough! It’s never going to be enough! Nothing I do matters to them! And I’ve been pushing myself so hard...”

Sunset swallowed the rest of her words. Why was she even bothering? Trixie of all ponies didn’t give a crap about her. Trixie only cared about herself. Sunset knew this, yet she felt she couldn’t have stopped herself.

Trixie hung her head.

“The Great and Powerful Trixie apologizes,” Trixie said quietly.

Moondancer spoke up. She wasn’t usually one for sap. But even she couldn’t remain silent after Sunset’s startling confession.

“Hey, you’re not the only pony in this school whose struggling,” Moondancer pointed out. “I’ve been studying my flank off and I still don’t understand this damn theorem about the conversion of magical energy!”

Twilight’s head rose immediately. She turned to Moondancer, a look of genuine interest on her face. She had of course heard Sunset’s outburst, but it didn’t come as a surprise to her. Twilight had suspected Sunset had some deep psychological issues related to her steadily declining performance.

“Are you talking about the one by Basil the Brave?” Twilight asked.

Moondancer nodded, shaking her head and looking annoyed at her own failings.

Twilight closed her book. She trotted over to where Moondancer was sitting and plopped down next to her.

“Basil the Brave uses a very primitive, but perfectly coherent language to convey his ideas,” Twilight explained with a smile. “I too was confused by it. But it’s actually very straightforward once you translate it into plain Equine.”

Twilight gestured to a specific paragraph.

“When he says “fruits of the world”, he’s referring to gemstones,” Twilight stated.

Moondancer stared in complete fascination as Twilight launched into an explanation. It was like being lectured by a professor, yet somehow even more engaging.

Trixie nervously dug at the ground with her hoof. She refused to look Sunset in the eye. It was absurd, but she was afraid she might start bawling if she did. For once, she felt genuinely ashamed of her actions.

“That illusion spell you used was pretty good,” Trixie admitted. “You might even be a match for the Great and Powerful Trixie!”

Sunset actually smiled. She wouldn’t have expected a compliment from the so-called Great and Powerful Trixie. From what she’d seen, those cost at least a month of groveling.

“You’ve got some impressive ones yourself,” Sunset replied. “That “dragon attack” in the library even fooled me for a second.”

Trixie blushed. She’d almost forgotten about that bet. Trixie still hadn’t reached the bottom of her winnings bucket.

“How did you know that was me?” Trixie asked, amazed.

Sunset winked.

“I guess I’ll be keeping those twenty bits I owe you,” Sunset observed.

Trixie and Sunset shared a laugh.

Starlight peered over her wall of books, a look of contempt on her face. She wanted to re-activate her bubble of solitude, but decided to leave them with a single comment. In the spirit of the holidays, Starlight felt obligated to sum up her feelings.

“Happy Hearth’s Warming, you dicks!” Starlight uttered sweetly.

Starlight put up her bubble of solitude again, leaving them to their holiday merriment.

Comments

[Rainedash]

Personally, I really dislike buck as a curse word. Made up ones for the MLP universe are good and all, but buck just feels lazy given that it's used purely because it rhymes with another word. That aside, this was a solid story, and did a good job of showing the personalities of the characters despite the short word length. So, have a thumbs up.

[TooShyShy]

7816083 Personally, I think "buck" would be more of an insult to ponies due to their dislike of violence. Since "buck" is a violent term, phrases such as "go buck yourself" and "buck you" would come off to ponies as genuinely hostile and insulting. More so than "fuck", which is simply a slang term for a process needed to insure the continuation of the species. Or at least that's my reasoning for my use of the word "buck".

I'm glad you liked the story. Merry Christmas and/or Happy Hearth's Warming!

[Sky Hawk]

This was a funny short.