Sequel to The Crystal Prep Files
After finally returning to Equestria, Sunset Shimmer accepts Starlight's challenge and face off in a magical duel. What's the worst that could happen?
Chapters (2)
- Member Since 21st Mar, 2012
- offline last seen Aug 9th, 2023
FoxMcCloud7921
Not much to say except that I love video games, my favorite series being Star Fox and Mass Effect; reading, sports, etc. I have a separate FanFiction account where more of my stories can be found.
FoxMcCloud7921
Joined 21st Mar, 2012 ·
Offline
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Stats
Page generated in 0.09 seconds
Total duration
847 users online
1,245,688 hits today, 2,561,572 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
This story looked lonely so I read it. I'm gonna go with my professional opinion first.
Technically she was there when she stole the crown. It should say something more like: "I'm gonna go look around if you don't mind? This is my first time officially visiting Ponyville."
*am
Make sure you separate your paragraphs and not have every line indented, it's just proper structure. Also Twily seemed way too eager to put her friends into danger, add a little bargaining for future reference. This felt a little rushed as well, make sure to drag things out with extensive detail.
In my personal opinon: I enjoyed this intro! I like the magic duel idea and can't wait for more. I gave the criticism because it always helps to have. Make sure you read through first, I understand errors get through revision sometimes. ~
I'm not the author but they were actually in the crystal empire when the crown was stolen.
8002043
D' oh! I don't think I gave myself enough time to relax after my last story.
I didn't want to stretch it out too much cause this will be a two part story and that's pretty much it.
Now this is interesting. Sunset's bound to be out of practice from all her time in the human world. Twilight has her work cut out for her...
8002043 Wait I thought Sunset first stole the crown in the crystal empire?
8002275
Was it? I guess I probably should have checked first... Thanks for pointing that out.
8002124
My bad...
8002147
Ignore the first bit of my comment, I should have done my research silly me. Sincerely sorry for me being a goof.
WELL IT'S TIME!!!
IT'S TIME!!!!
IT'S BACON TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Doesn't Sunset have these empathy abilities?
Fun so far, I look forward to seeing where this goes. I will point out that the sentence when Sunset has to shield herself feels like something got cut off. Oh, and I'd love to know what her shield looks like, that's one thing I loved from the Crystalling, how everyone has a custom shield... well, except for Starlight.
Am I... first comment?
8101518
snapped her hoof
How exactly do u snap a hoof
dah fu
8164303
Equestrian physics son!
8164313
k
Why isn't this properly marked as a sequel to The Crystal Prep Files? I almost didn't see this story because of that.