Behind a Shifting Mask

by Oddling

15 - Pondering Past and Present

As Silver Skies traversed the halls of Canterlot Castle, his mind wandered to the events of the day. Things had started out rather normal; he awoke, got a few meetings done, went to the Hive, and met with Queen Chrysalis. From that moment on… his day ceased being normal. It was the start of his secrets being made known to somepony else for the first time in many years. In some small way, he had become proud of keeping his past secret from others for so long. Yet, at the same time, he also felt burdened with such knowledge. Though the old stallion did have a number of acquaintances, that was all they were. There were no others, pony or otherwise, in which Silver felt even remotely close to.

Silver Skies soon came to a stop beside the door to his room within the castle. He eyed the handle of the door for a few moments before he cast a slow scan of the hallway in both directions. For whatever reason, his fur started to stand on end a little as the empty halls gave him no signs of life within his current surroundings. It was normal for there to be a lack of activity in his wing of the castle this late in the evening, but there seemed to be an abnormally eerie feeling in the air tonight. Silver’s eyes narrowed, the milky film of his right eye faintly emitting a pale purple glow for a brief moment. Now that I think about it… I haven’t seen that annoying General for a little too long. He normally hounds me at every opportunity he has.

Silence reined for several tense moments as Silver’s senses reached out for anything that would tip him off to what it was that made him feel so on edge. Eventually, the tired diplomat sighed quietly and returned his attention to the door handle. With practiced ease, his magic went through the various locks of the door and he stepped inside. Unfortunately for Silver, the odd feeling did not fade much once his door was shut.

It would seem that I may have to look into that sensation at some point in the near future. I wonder if the guards are aware of that strange presence, he thought as he looked around his room. Though it was his primary residence, the design was very similar to his office, just on a larger scale. The main room held a very ornate wooden desk with a polished black finish against the left wall. Next to that was the doorway leading to his bedroom. Straight ahead of him were the double doors that led to the balcony and to the right were a pair of large bookcases, one for business and one for his personal collection of reading materials, as well as a small kitchen. As expected, nothing had been tampered with in his absence.

As if out of habit, Silver made his way over to his desk and sat down on his chair, reclining with a sigh as he finally allowed himself to relax. Though he was still very much aware of the uneasy feeling in the air, he pushed it aside for the time being so that he could properly gather his thoughts. With a gentle flick of his magic the silver tome on his desk opened to a blank page. His magic then took hold of a fine quill and dipped it into a sapphire inkwell, a gift he had been given after his help with restoring the Crystal Empire’s relations with Equestria. As quill met with paper, Silver Skies recorded his day’s events; especially the specific conversations he had gone through. After some time had passed, Silver returned his quill to its resting place and he read over what he had written. Once his eyes finished scanning the final passage a slow and long sigh slipped through Silver’s nose as he shook his head.

There’s still so much that I need to learn. The Changelings are too far outside of my current understanding. Though I have gained more knowledge about how they came to be, I am no closer to figuring out how they function as a species. Their magic is unique, but I’ve managed to unwrap its properties to an extent so far from my observations. Aside from that… they are bound by a curse from an old demon, produce highly potent pheromones, communicate through an advanced telepathic network of some kind, and can feed on emotional energies as well as organic materials that, most likely, contribute to how they produce their slime… Silver mused to himself.

Indeed, Silver knew more about Changelings than most others, yet he still needed to know what made them tick; what it was that allowed them to exist as individuals and a collective mind. How did they normally live, socialize, breed, but more importantly… how did the curse truly affect them? He had many questions, but his answers would have to wait for the passage of time and trust to form; two things that he was sure he was most likely running out of.

Crossing his forelegs, Silver Skies closed his eyes and sighed as he pondered a little more. He eventually opened his eyes and looked over to see the time on the clock. It had become very late in the evening now, far past the time he had expected it to be. Silver shook his head with a light chuckle. “Looks like I’ve stayed up late enough. I’d better get some sleep if I’m to function adequately in the morning,” he thought aloud.

His horn lit briefly and the silver tome closed with a low snap before it floated over to rest in its designated spot on the desk. Silver then proceeded toward his bedroom to get the necessary tasks done before he could slip into bed. Once his evening preparations were complete, the tired diplomat slithered under the covers of his bed and was fast asleep soon after.

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~~***~~

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Evening bled into morning and as the sun rose from its hiding place beyond the horizon, Silver’s eyes slowly opened. His horn lit with a gentle glow of his magic and the bedding lifted away, allowing him to smoothly slip from his bed. Once he had managed to stand on his hooves, the glow of his horn intensified slightly and the sheets and blanket molded to the bed, leaving his bed as perfect as it had been before he entered it.

Silver brought a hoof up to his mouth as a yawn broke free from his lungs before he idly meandered over to the bathroom to tend to his morning needs. With that done, the grey unicorn made his way over to the small kitchen. His horn lit up gently and the fridge opened, a jar of raspberry jam and a small jug of orange juice floating out. The cupboard beside the fridge also opened and a loaf of bread and a small container of peanut butter came out of there to join the juice and jam on the counter. In no time at all, Silver prepared himself a simple breakfast, creating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and pouring a glass of juice to wash it down with.

Silver put away the ingredients before he sat down to enjoy his meal. It wasn’t much, but it would be sufficient to get him through the few tasks his morning was scheduled for. Once he was finished eating, he drank his juice and levitated the dishes over to the sink to be washed before he went back into his bedroom to prepare himself for the day.

With his silvery mane combed evenly, his teeth sparkling brightly, and his grey coat brushed to a pleasant sheen, Silver Skies exited his room. As usual, Silver walked along with purpose, his expression stoic, but his thoughts were not as centered as they usually were. He wondered about the Changeling Princess… as well as Celestia. He had been honest with Whisper last night, but he still felt that he was not yet prepared to meet with Celestia so soon after having yet another relapse. Only a fool would not have known how much the princess regretted her past mistakes, and that only seemed to complicate matters for Silver. He was unsure if he should remain quiet, as he normally would do, or if he should apologize for his actions. Saying that he was sorry for what he did would be true, to a degree, but it would do nothing to alter his hatred for her.

A small part of him wondered if Celestia had felt the way he did at some point after he had hurt the guard back then. It was possible that she had hated him for harming her beloved ponies. She would have had some justifiable reasoning for being so cruel in how she treated him back then. After all, she had dealt with worse creatures during her reign and she had not known anything about Silver at the time. She could have easily seen him as just another threat to her ponies… and Equestria.

But did that make her decisions right? Was he right in hating her for what she did to him despite what had happened in her past? Silver did not know the answer, nor did he truly care. In the end, all he knew was that he had been betrayed and punished when all he wanted was to be saved from himself. Ponies had died to his cutie mark, he had just gone through Tartarus and back, and his only hope had cast him out in his time of need. How could one forgive after something like that? Should one forgive after living through such cruelty?

More compassionate ponies might have found it in their hearts to forgive their beloved princess. Then again, those ponies would have been able to look past the darkness that had surrounded them… because Celestia would have been their guiding light out of the shadows. To Silver Skies, Celestia was just another layer of Tartarus that he had experienced, just one more shadow within the sea of despair.

Silver sighed silently as he reached his first destination of the morning. This day had only just begun and he was already feeling like his mind had gone through another negotiation with the dragons, such was their nature to be unreasonably stubborn in their search for caves and their need to build massive hoards.

A small smirk played across Silver’s lips as he lit his horn to open the door. Just another day in the life of a foolish diplomat, I suppose, he thought before he entered.

Author's Note:

Eheheheh... I know it's not much, but here's another chapter for you guys.

I recently set aside some time to try and get some writing done for a few other stories (outside of Hazel Eyes) and this was the result. Unfortunately... at around the same time I did this, I had an oops with forgetting to take some of my medications and it messed me up for a week. On the up side, this was written just after I started feeling more like my normal self and... I'm pleased with it despite the shortness.

Look forward to the next chapter everyone.

Comments

[Razzy]

Yay, it's alive!

>.> Maybe Whisper was trailing him on the ceiling. :B

... Why did I hear the word 'breed' in DBZA Nappa's voice?

Bad, bad Oddling! *swats with a rolled up newspaper* Never be careless with medicine. Especially if it's related to stuff like clinical depression (just taking a stab in the dark here).

[Oddling]

8396954

Yeah, it's mainly for depression. I've got a few other things mixed in (no thanks to the undiagnosed mental problems on that thing that dares try to call itself my father's side of the family) but mostly I struggle just to stay stable emotionally. It's why I've been having so much trouble writing for this story. I can't get my head back into the right state of mind to reconnect with Silver's personality, so I can't really write anything and be satisfied.

Good news is that I'm meeting with my new doctor this morning, so hopefully he and I can tinker with my meds and get me back in a more stable frame of mind again.

Also... I lost it when you said that about Whisper following him on the ceiling. Just picturing that was too funny.

[Razzy]

8397008 "It's not like I'm following him because I like him, baka!"

Ah, depression, I know this beast well, but I inherited it from my mother's side.

Best of luck. I'd suggest a huge rubber mallet.

[Oddling]

8397170
Lmao! That was awesome, thanks for that laugh.

And the appointment went well. Turns out I need to drink a lot less energy drinks when I'm at work and we're going to see if adding another antidepressant will help stabilize things.

... I really should invest in a rubber mallet as well. They're so useful!

[Archaon]

This has been one of my favorite stories on this site so far. I would love to see it being continued.

[Oddling]

8415970
Glad you like it so far. I do plan to keep it going. In fact, I've already started writing for the next chapter, though it's been slower going than I'd like. My new med seems to be leveling my head into a better state of mind for getting back into Silver's character, but I'm not quite there yet. I've had to delete some of what I've written because the feeling behind it leaned more towards personalities from my other stories.

On the up side of things, Shifting Mask's next chapter is almost to a thousand words, so you might be seeing a new chapter in a week or two.

[TheYear2525]

I like.

[kitsunedagger432]

Update soon?

[Oddling]

8897409
Maybe... I've got about a 3rd of a chapter written for chapter 16 so far. It's been hard finding the time and/or proper motivation to get back into my other stories. I'll try to get something out when I have the time.

[kitsunedagger432]

Any plans to continue this story Oddling?