- Member Since 17th Sep, 2015
- offline last seen Last Friday
Head of Common Mockery
Heyo! I am the Head of Common Mockery. I write whatever ideas for fics I come up with.
Head of Common Mockery
Joined 17th Sep, 2015 ·
Offline
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The first chapter is rushed a bit, add somemote details to the events. Also make Francis have a personality, what is he like? Interested in seeing were this goes. Take your time. Keep going!
Not bad, not bad at all. I'm really interested at next chapter. Will he have the Mystical Chain? Will he move like the Nicholas Cage's Ghost Rider from "Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance"? Will he piss fire? Will he get a power boost which will allow him to shoot fire like Fire Lord Ozai with the energy of Sozin's Comet?
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This is the first fic I was abto publicly release, so I thank you for the critique. The next chapter's almost done, I just need to actually sit down and finish it but I make the stories off of some initial thoughts and build off of that and add things as I go along. I get the feeling that might be the reason it looks rushed. I could use a pre-reader, but I made the story directly on this site. Would you know of anything to solve that?
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Tune in for the next chapter when it's finished, and you'll find out.
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Well, for the proof reading, either ask someone to do it or, and yhis is what i do but rhats me, make the story on a computer, then print it off and proof read it yourself and take your time.
Good premise. A few things bug me, but the biggest issue I see is the major lack of setting. Here's a link to a post of mine concerning the various kinds of settings that people really seem to forget and leave out when writing stories.
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Maybe I should revamp it? I was worried about making it too long, but now I think I should as more detail when I think about it.
7798847 It might be a decent idea. If it's necessary, then do it. I have yet to encounter anyone who had a problem of "too much detail", so until you get multiple people commenting on that, don't be afraid of adding detail IF said detail is relevant.
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7796371
I both made some changes and added detail. Hope it improves it!
more?
7809563
Moar you shall receive.
KO awesome chapter, the fight was good and the young Ghost Rider is off to help out an older Ghost Rider with a mystery case that involves the forest of Everfree.
KO awesome chapter, Sunset is starting good of redeeming herself and hopefully she'll get over those nightmares soon to be with her friends.
KO awesome chapter, looks like things are about to get insanely awesome in future chapters!
