• Published 23rd Aug 2016
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The Pony Dreadfuls - No one is home

A series of stories about ponies. Dreadful in both subject and quality. Enjoy :)

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chapter 22 - Don't Go

“Your majesty something simply MUST be done.” Civil Doctrine pleaded his case before the entirety of Celestia’s court. “Nopony is disparaging the good changelings of Princess fast Change’s hive, but we have an unknown number of rogue drones loose in our city.”

“Changelings are bad enough on their own,” Platinum Bond interjected, “But this unprovoked attack was clearly carried out with human assistance!”

“We have no way to know that.” Fancy Pants strode forward attempting to calm the mood. “What we know is simply this, changelings believed to be in league with the villainess, Madame Alias have engaged in an act of sabotage, which was largely averted by the quick thinking of Train Wreck Pastel.”

“Wait, you mean he STOPPED a train from wrecking? Didn’t see that one coming!” The usual heckler shouted from the back of the court.

“If you would kindly address his highness by his proper title,” Celestia reproached, perhaps with more of an edge than she intended, “I think he’s earned it.”

“Of course your majesty.” Fancy reddened slightly in embarrassment. “I meant no offense.”

“My point remains that human involvement is obvious.” Platinum Bond would not be deterred. “The Unspoken Prince himself suggested as much in his own testimony! What exactly is his Highness, Prince Silver Watch doing to protect us from these dangerous interlopers? Human immigrants are his explicit domain! If humans are bringing dangerous weapons from their own barbaric home world into our kingdom...”

“Order!” Celestia brought down her hoof like a gavel, the ringing impact resonating throughout the crowded court. “Fancy Pants is quite correct, we have no way to know that this foul attack was carried out with any artifacts from the human world!”

“Her Majesty is correct, of course.” All heads turned as Gold Brick sauntered into the court. “This attack wasn’t carried out by any artifact brought from the human world, but using stolen equestrian goods, crafted by insidiously clever human hands!”

“Gold Brick,” Fancy Pants fairly hissed, “I’d think you would have the common sense, if not decency not to show your face in these proceedings.”

“And why is that? I have not been convicted, nor even publically accused of any crime. But I have evidence today that not only exonerates my good name, but points the finger directly at the conspiracy that led to that poor changeling’s murder some weeks past.” The disgraced unicorn tossed a stack of papers at Celestia’s hooves. “Inventory slips from my mines in the Crystal Empire. They show a large amount of explosives were stolen by the very changeling infiltrators that my colleagues would accuse me of enslaving behind closed doors.”

“Explosives you say?” Celestia raised an eyebrow.

“I suspect the murdered changeling had attempted to warn us all of this impending attack before she was silenced by her fellow saboteurs.” Gasps of shock rolled across the court followed by hushed whispers. “I also found bills of sale, linking these explosives to a human in South Decanter. But most damning of all, the private investigator hired by the Lunar Guard to besmirch my name was himself… or perhaps I should say herself, a changeling!”

Several several photos quickly joined the stack of papers, showing a pale orange earth pony in an alley talking to a yellow unicorn. As one picture progressed to the next, he stallion transitioned into a changeling queen. Celestia quickly gathered the evidence in her telekinetic order, murmurs already erupting from those ponies close enough to have seen the damning documents. The Princess of the Sun addressed her subjects with uncharacteristic brusqueness. “The Court is in recess until further notice as I examine this new evidence. You are all dismissed.”


“Velvet dear,” Iam Noone lounged back on his favorite fainting couch, a Rarity original, “What do you think I’m afraid of?”

“Afraid of, boss?” The brown earth pony mare froze like a deer caught in a bright light. “There’s something that could scare you?”

“Indeed, my pretty-ish little nutcracker,” The changeling stretched lazily, “What happens in your mind after I’m gone? I mean, you have to move on sometime… And so does he.”

“Come on! Entomb me in a rubber room! I wanna meet my doom!” The mare fell back as the cacophony began. “And I’m never gonna let it go!”

“I’ll cracker jack and rise, I wanna slip and slide, my secret hide out, right? I’ll never let you find” The stallion’s eyes flashed with raw madness as the machinery of the abandoned toy factory gave symphony to insanity. The mad-pony ripped away a curtain revealing a spider-legged tank-like contraption. “I hit the thrusters on my mean machine, it’s mean and black and green, an I’m never gonna give it up!”

“So let go my my super villain ego, my psychosis has been loaded, evil far below!” The Nopony threw up his hooves in imagined triumph and defeat. “Don’t go! No, Don’t go! Don’t Go! I wanna be here forever!”

Velvet Hammer tried to scurry back, but the evil music would not release her as Madame Alias continued her horrible anthem. “At 49 we’ll be best imaginary friends, till the end, recomend the something should disrupt!”

“Shake it up just like an etch-a-sketch, erase the filthy retch, of the life I have rejected now!” The mare collapsed for a moment in her mania, only to jump back to her hooves, “Well some would say ‘Shut up!’, and some would say ‘Grow up!’, and some would say ‘Give Up, and be like everypony else!’”

“I do not like it on a boat, don’t like it with a goat, and I’m never gonna let you go!” Velvet awkwardly disentangled herself from the exhausted form of her lover/captor as she reminded herself that she was a special pony who deserved to be loved and respected. She knew she was because the boss always said that…

Author's Note:

Hey a musical number, how long since I did one of those that wasn’t horrible?

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