• Published 23rd Aug 2016
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The Pony Dreadfuls - No one is home



A series of stories about ponies. Dreadful in both subject and quality. Enjoy :)

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Chapter 37 - A Pleasant Walk

“Wow.” Carrot Plate craned her neck as they walked down the street. “This city is huge! It’s much nicer than I thought it would be, compared to the hospital.”

“Well, that hospital’s been abandoned since the plague started three years ago. Some… really bad things went down there. We’d have torn it down already, but what with the place being haunted…” Dan cast a nervous glance back at Pinkamena who was keeping in military lock step with Train Wreck.

“What was this plague everyone keeps talking about?” Carrot asked curiously.

“You don’t know?” The human seemed genuinely surprised. “Well, a guess the big guy DID kinda say you weren’t any kind of official envoy.”

As the two new acquaintances chatted, Cpt. Jackson approached the giant and the ghost. “So, assuming you’re telling the truth, and I take your story at face value. How did you end up in Equestria? For that matter how did you get back?”

“I sort of fell out of the world, right after everything went to shit.” The giant mutant admitted, shrugging his massive shoulders. “There was some kind of… entity? A disembodied sort of writing, and it sent me to Diane’s Equestria first.” He nodded at his somber companion. “And then… strange things happened and I ended up in Carrot’s Equestria. That’s where I ran back into your brother. He said that it wasn’t the ‘right’ Equestria, not the one that started the plague, that is. They ended up going native, having no way to get back. I got back here the same way I left, I fell out of the universe and the words sent me here with Carrot. If we can find a way to send me back, then it stands to reason we can return your brother and his team.”

"Wait… ‘fell out of the world’... Fuck! You’re him! The one they thought was immune.” The captain suddenly was hit with the realization.

“Apparently not so immune.” Train gave a dry chuckle. “More like the plague was just dormant in me until Discord activated it and turned it up to eleven.”

“Discord?” Pinkamena raised an eyebrow. Her voice taking a dangerous edge. “The Lord of Chaos? He’s the one who turned you into...that?”

“I know how I look Diane. There’s no reason to rub it in.” The mutant grumbled.

“Don’t you get mopey with me soldier.” The Pink ghost scolded. “You know I didn’t mean it like that. If anything, you're slightly less of an alien than when we met.”

“What do you think James?” Mary Beth asked quietly from the back.

“Well the unicorn seems nice enough.” The tatzl pony narrowed his eyes. “But the big one tried to mind-fuck us, and that’s not something I’m about to let go of very easy.”

“I don’t like the way the big one and the ghost are so casual about this.” Steve shook his head. “They’re both surrounded by humans with high calibre rifles. They should be at least a little nervous. It makes sense for the Equestrian, I get the idea she doesn’t even know what a gun is, but the other two… we’re all armed to the teeth so why do I feel like we’re the ones who should be worried?”

“Survival instinct maybe?” Mary Beth scowled. “We know what the Pink Ghost is capable of and she has a real mixed reputation when it comes to the UAC. The one that calls himself Train Wreck on the other hand… hell we don’t even know what the hell he is. And I've been a cop long enough to know better than to trust a guy who keeps his hands in his pockets all the time.”

“Yeah, I noticed that too.” James nodded. “He hasn't used his tentacles to so much as scratch an itch.”

“Snakes,” Dan interjected, “His ‘herd sister’ is downright chatty, and big gruesome is her favorite subject. And it turns out it's not tentacles he’s keeping inside that bisected mouth, it's his other three heads.”

“Hydra type, tatzl type, dragon type… and judging by his size, saurian type.” Mary Beth nodded. “Makes sense I guess. Mutant alicorn, so basically all the mutant types mashed together.”

“Oh it gets better.” Dan laughed. “Get the romantic story of how they met. She nursed him back to health after somebody dropped a burning building on him.”

“You’re shitting me?” James’ split jaw dropped.

“And get this, he was turned into… that, by somebody named Discord. Who is basically Pony-Satan.” Dan grinned widely.

“So did you get her number?” Mary Beth asked dryly.

“Yeah...no.” Dan laughed. “Herd-sister of the spawn of Pony-Satan. I may be a horn dog, but I'm not suicidal.”

“That blonde human’s been flirting with your new marefriend and pumping her for Intel.” Pinkamena whispered in a voice Train Wreck was pretty sure was in his head.

“She's not my marefriend.” The giant grumbled. “And I know.”

“Well if she's not your marefriend then you wouldn't mind if I had a little chat then, would you?” The pink mare flickered and appeared beside Carrot Plate, drawing a brief flurry of reaction from their human escort.

“As you were.” Cpt Jackson barked, restoring order to the ranks.

“So tell me about this family my sergeant has apparently put together since he's been gone.” The mare’s voice was tense but not angry.

“Well, first there's Z-978.” Carrot couldn't keep the affection out of her voice. “Surprise pulled her out of one of the time loops too. In the real… in my Equestria she had accidentally been killed during the changeling invasion. Did I mention she's a changeling? She's younger than she looks, kinda older too. If that makes sense.”

“War can do that to a foal.” Pinkamena nodded.

“She and Train Wreck have a complicated relationship.” Carrot confided in the older mare. “Mostly they're kinda like siblings, but apparently this one time they… well… Z-978 laid an egg. I'm pretty sure Train Wreck didn't know how young she was. Z really doesn't like for ponies to know. Especially Train Wreck, but I'm pretty sure Surprise knew because she put a stop to it. New rule: No special snuggles between Z and Train Wreck. Z’s kinda not right in the head, anyway. And she was really confused because she didn’t think drones could lay eggs. After Train Wreck came back with me, everypony had a long talk and that was that. Z told me later what was what, but she didn’t want me to tell Train Wreck…”

“Secrets and lies.” Pinkamena rolled her eyes. “Wonderful way to build a stable herd.”

“Well what was I supposed to do?” Carrot argued. “Z is my my best friend and the best little sister a pony could have! And she really loves Train Wreck, and she has a grub to consider.”

“Ambush.” The Pink Ghost replied evenly.

“Well I hardly think ambushing Train Wreck with the truth would have helped anypony!” Carrot Plate stamped an indignant hoof.

“No, no, no.” Pinkamena’s voice fairly echoed with frustration. “We’re about to be ambushed.”

Author's Note:

Last half of this chapter was typed on my phone on the bus. The Typos ambushed me

New fun things to do! Go to google maps and use street view to follow the party’s journey through my home city of Atlanta!

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