• Published 23rd Aug 2016
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The Pony Dreadfuls - No one is home



A series of stories about ponies. Dreadful in both subject and quality. Enjoy :)

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Chapter 5 - Further Observations

“You’ll notice that one end of this pipe has been sealed shut.” Pip pointed out the details of the pipe as Pic held it in her telekinetic grasp. “Also you’ll notice scorch marks on the open end. This weapon was made for one purpose, and it wasn’t for bludgeoning defenseless drones to death. This isn’t just a murder, it’s an assassination gone wrong. Yes, they met their target as planned. Were you a stallion or a mare… it makes a huge difference where motive is concerned. But that doesn’t matter yet anyway.”

Pip paced nervously looking over the crimes scene, the position of the bodies, and the pile of debris where they had found the pipe. Suddenly he froze. “But you are a unicorn! You HAVE to be a unicorn… or possible another changeling. That weapon requires at least competent telekinesis and a spell to light a match. There’s no other way you could even fire it. A human holding it in their hand would suffer severe fractures. An earth pony or pegasus holding it in their mouths would be lucky to survive. So that means you either a unicorn or a changeling.”

“Surely darling, you're not suggesting that…” Sweet Shift started, only to be cut off.

“Only way to look at it. They’re either or they’re a unicorn.” Pip continued to think out loud. “Of course, if they were a changeling, why bother with eliminating a witness at all. That’s what happened here. The whole job went south when our murderer had to deal with a pesky witness, so they stuck to the plan, tossed the pipe and ran. Had things not went south, this pipe would just be a pipe, with no reason at all to think it might be a murder weapon. A pipe in an alley is nothing suspicious if it’s not covered in changeling blood.”

“So our murderer came around this corner, most likely following their target. But they didn’t know the target was coming into this alley to meet the witness, so the question is who was the target, and who was the witness?” Pip re-enacted the scene as he spoke. “And why would some unknown unicorn want them dead?”

“Revenge?” Sweet Shift suggested helpfully, “After what happened at that dreadful circus… well let's say there were plenty of ponies with damaged marriages and frayed pride.”

“Not a bad theory in and of itself,” Pip noted, “And were this an act of random violence it would go a long way to explain it. But nopony makes or acquires a truly unique weapon to commit a random act of racial violence. That would explain our battered changeling, but not the minotaur with an extra hole in his head.”

“Rock Solid had his share of enemies especially up on the hill.” Moonphase scowled thoughtfully. “He was what you might call a political activist. Quick to run his mouth, quick to stir up a stink. He was on good terms with the changelings, sure, but he’d made more than his share of enemies among the nobles. In particular when he threw in with the Train Wreck. He went as far as to suggest in Celestia’s court that they were using strong arm tactics to bully over citizens in Decanter. He didn’t make many friends in the lunar guard either.”

“Seriously, Moonphase? You guys are holding a grudge because he called you guys out for, what was the list again? Oh yeah you beat up an ambassador, dropped a building on a local hero, beat up an innocent changeling… oh and let's not forget when you accused your own princess of being brainwashed, we had some good laughs back at the hive over that.” Split shift leveled the lunar guard with her best “seriously?” stare.

“Okay, there may have been some breaches in discipline,” Moonphase grumped, glancing around to see if anyone would challenge his account, “But it was nothing that couldn’t be handled in the ranks. We didn’t need some rabble rouser parading all our mistakes in front of Celestia’s court. We catch enough flack from sun ponies as it is!” The captain suddenly remember that he was in decidedly mixed company and quickly added, “No offense.”

“Look, as much fun as this has been, I was SUPPOSED to be on a date with my coltfriend, who's been abducted and mysteriously replaced by some trotting encyclopedia.” Picture Perfect rolled her eyes and stamped a pretty yellow hoof. “I’ll make copies of the sketch, and we can meet tomorrow at the guard precinct, or whatever. But for right now, I’m dragging my stallion back to the damned Belfry and we’re going to TRY to get some sleep before we have to go to work in the morning. Though how I’m supposed to sleep after all this, I don’t have any idea!”

I’m really sorry Pic!” Orange Pip suddenly became self conscious. “I did NOT know Tarot was going to be dragging us into this tonight, I swear!”

“Save for after we’ve got some sleep and have tomorrow's edition laid out, but we ARE going to talk about this later.” Picture sighed heavily, it wasn’t that she didn’t find the whole thing… interesting, but this wasn’t the Orange Pip she thought she knew. Though she also had to admit it wasn’t a pony she didn’t want to know…

“Alright, then, I promise I’ll tell you everything tomorrow, Pic,” Orange Pip smiled nervously, “I didn’t lie, I just… I didn’t expect my family to set me out on this kind of work again again this quick. It usually works better if I keep this part of my life to myself.”

“You’re not helping mister.” Picture Perfect scolded the stallion. “Do yourself a favor and shut up while we’re still going back to your place. It’s a lot to take in, but I’m not running scared… yet. Like I said, we WILL talk about this tomorrow.”

“Well darling,” Sweet Shift turned to Moonphase, “That promises to be the most awkward conversation since when Train Wreck had to explain the muffin codes to Princess Fast Change during a hive staff meeting…”

Author's Note:

Because Muffin Codes. :derpyderp1: If you have to ask then you don't know. :derpytongue2:

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