I am Ruffcoat, I am a shoop!

by Bojack H

Chapter 5: Does a shoop in the Castle?

Well that’s something I wasn’t expecting. I thought as I looked over the archway. After not having a heart attack on the front steps figuring out how to open the door, I got the door open and jumped in through the gap. The moment I did so, the doors not only slammed shut, the portal was engulfed in a bright blue aura.

Tentatively I poked the door, only to be blasted backwards across the courtyard. The stupid flyer hadn’t mentioned that. I thought rolling over onto all four hooves, At least it will keep the damn wolves out.

Dusting myself off and straightening my cloak, I consulted the flyer, using the light of the doorway to read by.

Once inside the reward you seek rests where all can see. Be warned, retrieving it may not easy it be.
Well goat-apples, that doesn’t sound good. I guess I should be at least a little thankful this place is well fortified.

It rests where all can see… I guess that could be like the throne room or something? Looking around, I noticed that while this place had been out here in the empty forest, the doors, windows, stones and everything else were in great shape. Certainly nothing sheep have ever built could last this long. Sheep never really built anything for themselves if they could avoid it. While some of the largest herds may have had the bits to purchase their own land, the lodging they put up usually wasn’t much better than the wooden barns we smaller herds stayed in.

Reaching what I think is the main building, I pulled against rope attached to the ancient reinforced oak door. My hooves skidded on the stone steps but even with my mighty shoop strength the door didn’t budge one bit.

Ugh, I’ve come too far to be defeated by a stupid door. I WILL NOT BE DEFEATED BY A STUPID DOOR!

Throwing my weight into it, I pulled and pulled again until my hooves slipped again, this time tumbling muzzle forward.

Twisting onto my back, I sat against the door. Behind me, the ancient passageway creaked open. Buck me…

The hallway inside was unexpectedly lit by regularly spaced torches along the walls. Suits of armor for ponies, still stood guard. Wasn’t I supposed to grab something else while I’m here? I thought as I strolled along. The hallway itself stretched for what seemed like miles.

Reaching another set of doors, a pair of suits of armor reached out to block my path. Each suit was filled with wreathed in the same blue aura like the front door. The metal tips of their spears glinted in the flickering torch light.

“Umm hi there.” I waved, “You guys wouldn’t mind me going on through would you?”

In response the animated suits brought their spear down to bear and began marching forward. “Didn’t think so.” I turned and ran and the suits gave chase.

I beat a hasty retreat, or I would have except I put a hoof through the floor and fell flat on my face.
The animated suits of armor crashed behind me. Expecting my doom, I looked back to find the entire floor had given way and now two suits of ruined armor lay at the bottom of a large pit.

“Well that’s convenient.” I said out loud to nobody in particular. Extracting my hoof from the ground caused the floor to close up leaving a now empty hallway again. “Why would anyone need this?” Again to nobody in particular.

Retracing my steps back to the door, I pilfered a sword from one of the suits of armor. The blade was short for a pony but for me it fit neatly down my back. I may not know how to use one but it’s certainly better than not having anything.

Pushing through the next set of doors I blinked against the light. In the center of the room on a pedestal, glinting in the light was a golden tiara underneath a pillar of light.

“That’s got to be it.” I said to myself. “Hello, anything in here that wants to eat me or maim me as well?” I shouted, my voice echoed off the walls.

Well this should be easy, just walk forward, grab crown, get out, and get paid.

I stepped forward confidently and put my hoof straight through the floor, the tile broke beneath me plunging myself forward.

Grabbing the tiles around, my left hoof broke through while my right hoof caught on a solid tile. Swinging myself over, I managed to grab onto the solid tile with my other hoof and scrambled up.

Standing on my lonely island of solid stone, I looked down at the floor and I noticed that the tiles each had a unique picture on them. The one beneath me had some kind of mouse while others had gryphons and I think every kind of pony.
Hmm I thought.

Looking around further, one of the walls of this room had big long benches on it, some of which had come unmounted from the walls.

“Perfect.”

Hopping off my platform onto safe ground I went over to the long benches. Dang these things are heavy, I could barely pick up one end. Sliding the bench over the tiles, I heard several crack as I pushed it across, and stacked some chunks of rubble on the back, guessing that I weighed less than those chunks.

I left my pilfered sword next to the rubble, saving as much weight as possible.

“This better be worth it.” I said before saying a prayer to Shep the lord of all sheep, not that he’s been much help before now. I took a step onto the plank, and then another. Tiles cracked and the rubble shifted slightly but the board held steady.

Reaching the platform I saw the crown up close. Made of some silvery metal and encrusted with some sort of black gem, it rested on a purple cushion.

Without hesitation, I grabbed it off the pillar and I heard something snap and suddenly the world spun around as the pillar flew away from me.

After the world stopped spinning, I realized that I was hanging painfully from my back hoof. All around me the room lit up with the eerie blue glow as suits of armor pulled themselves from the rubble.

“Ah Buck.” I said.

“HAVE NO FEAR DARING DOO, PRINCESS LUNA IS HERE!”

……
Huh?
……

Torches on the walls of the room lit up, bathing the room in light. I saw a blue feathered mass smash through one of the windows and crashed into the massed armor suits.

I rubbed my eyes in disbelief. Wading through the growing piles of armor was the princess of the night herself. Like I think I’ve only seen her once before and she was sitting on some stand a long ways away, so unless there’s more dark colored alicorn ponies out there then I’m staring at the princess as she destroyed an army of animated suits of armor.
With bats of her wings, kicks from her powerful legs and bursts of magic, the troops put up no resistance towards her.

When she was done she turned towards me and stopped dead. “Daring Doo, You’re a sheep?” She asked in surprise. “I um… not that there’s anything wrong with being a sheep as such.”

I fumbled for words.

“But never the less, I HAVE COME TO RESUCE YOU DARING DOO FOR PRINCESS LUNA IS THE BEST PRINCESS OF ALL PRINCESSES!”

I stuttered again. The booming voice, and the blood rushing to my head wasn’t doing much for my though process.

“Tis fine, I shall cut you down and then together we shall beat an escape from this accursed place BEFORE THE DREADED THREE HORNED BARMANOU OF THE EVERFREE ATTACKS!”

…

“I SAID BEFORE THE DREADED BARMANOU ATTACKS!” She shouted to a side hallway.

I looked around, nothing seemed to jump out to attack us.

“One moment please.” She said and dashed out of the room leaving me hanging like a sack.

After a few minutes the lunar alicorn returned with a disappointed look on her face and sat on her haunches. Her horn lit up followed by a large flash.

I blinked again in disbelief as the Solar Princess, Celestia herself, popped into existence several feet above the ground and fell in an uncoordinated mass.

“OW Luna what was that for?” She said, rolling into a sitting position.

“TIA you were supposed to be the Barmanou to close the act. Now Daring Doo and I have no mortal enemy to flee from!” She said in a very unprincessly tone. “You promised sister, I enchanted all the suits in the castle, I setup the wards on the gates, I even converted the swimming pool into THE TEMPLE OF TROUBLE, and you agreed to play the evil monster after I stormed in and rescued Daring Doo from the army OF GHOSTLY KNIGHTS.” She punctuated the statement with a huff and a stamp of her hoof.

“Oh sorry Luna I was waiting around but then I got distracted by some of the old books I left here in the library. You didn’t tell me you were practicing or anything.”

“Sister, we were not practicing, Daring Doo has shown up to snatch THE CROWN OF THE THIRD PLATINUM DYNASTY! and you have let us both down for not playing your part.”

“Um…”I stammered. “Cccould you mind handing me that sword over there to cut myself down or something, this isn’t exactly comfortable.”

Celestia turned and looked at me. “I’m so sorry my little sheep, just one second” Her horn lit up golden and I floated for a moment as the rope was untied. She gently set me down nearby. “I think there’s been a bit of a mix-up here. Luna this is not Daring Doo, she’s a mare and a Pegasus.”

Luna turned to me again, this time with a look of confusion.

“You’re not Daring Doo then?”
I shook my head.

“Then why are you here doing what Daring Doo does?”

“I um… wait hold on” I dug into my coat and found the flyer and held it up. “I just followed the directions on this flyer.”

Celestia grabbed the crumpled flyer in her aura and inspected it before shooting her sister a disapproving look. “….. Luna, when you asked for names of reputable print shops, I thought you were looking to have your moon-recipes made into a printed volume.” She hurled the flyer towards her sister who caught it in her magic.

“Ah yes, exactly to my specifications, even double sided! You said I needed to, how did you put it ‘spread the word’ of a hidden treasure in our old castle, therefore I did precisely that, see I even wrote directions on the back with a little map too.”

Celestia facehoofed in way very unbecoming of a princess. “Luna what I meant was… never mind. I believe I should be partly responsible for this. When you said you wanted to meet Daring Doo for your birthday, I should have just setup an audience with her at the next convention instead of letting you convince me to sit out here in our old castle for a week while you booby-trapped it."

“But Tia, you promised she would be here!” Luna whined completely oblivious to my company.

Celestia draped a wing over her sister’s back. “I’m sorry sister, Daring Doo has done work for me in the past and I thought I could get a message to her soon enough but adventurers are very difficult to track down these days. Still it seems that this plan hasn’t been totally in vein, this little sheep here has dared to face down your traps and on that small bounty offer of yours to boot.”

It took me a moment to realize they were talking about me again. “Excuse me your highnesses but I’m not a sheep.”

They both turned to look at me again.

“I um… I prefer to be called a shoop not a sheep.” I said barely audible. “Sheep wouldn’t be out here trying to find treasure after all.” I saw Luna suppress a chuckle.

Seriously? I thought. Here I am, nearly mauled by timberwolves following her stupid map, almost killed by her stupid traps, and she laughs when I say that I’m more than a sheep?

Triggered I fired back. “You have a problem with me calling myself a shoop? You’re the princess of Equestria, can’t you at least take me seriously? Do you know how many ponies I’ve met today who didn’t think I could even get this far on my own?!”

The princess blinked, taken back by my outburst. For a moment I felt like a tough shoop, then I remembered that she controls the moon. Oh crap…

“I’m SO sorry your highness, it’s just been a long day that started out with me being pink.” I stammered in panic.

Instead of smiting me, or running away crying, Luna just turned to her sister and laughed again. “OH TIA he is just like him. How many centuries has it been since we have been talked down by a sheep?!”

Celestia just covered her face again. “We are both very sorry that my sister has caused so much trouble. While I’d like to think my little ponies are generally accepting of all, there is still much for them to learn about humility. Please don’t take this the wrong way, Luna and I have lived a long time and known a few good sheep..er shoops like yourself, you remind her of an old friend of ours.”

“He was a mean taskmaster and a great friend even to the end.” Luna lamented.

“But that is ancient history. Since you’ve found the crown and gotten through my sister’s traps, I believe you deserve a payment now.” With another flash, she made a purse appear out of thin air. “Ah just where I thought I left it. Here this is a little bit more than the sum on the flyer for your trouble; besides, it’s been sitting out here for centuries now gathering dust, I’m sure you will put it to good use.” She said, handing me the bag as well as the short sword I had picked up.

I’m not sure how I felt; without opening it, the sack felt like it contained more bits than I had ever held before. I looked in it, sure enough in the bright torchlight the bits inside glittered golden. Having bits it felt… great.

“Oh Tia he’s got the look too.” Luna said.

Forget scrounging or selling my wool to start out, if I could do more of this, then I would never have to eat anything out of the trash ever again. More jobs like this and I could afford to own a house, eat fresh food, and importantly, rub it all in the herd’s face. “I AM SHOOP SEE MY SUCCESS!” I would say to them, lording over my bits.

I probably would have continued on like this if not for the next thing Celestia said.

“Well now that that’s over, I think it’s time to get out of here, Cadance has probably had enough of managing our affairs.” Her horn started to glow.

“Wait!” I said. Too late, the world exploded around me.

Author's Note:

Wow has my life really changed between when I started writing this and the previous chapter and now, anyways I blame life not crushing writer's block.

Anyways I hope to start putting out more soon.

As always, feel free to point out glaring mistakes, I've only given these a couple passes for grammar and mistakes

Comments

[Zugthule]

awesome