Twilight has always been one of Celestia's best students. But when power corrupts Twilight, Celestia will be faced with a choice. Kill her student or let the whole of Equestria perish?
Partly based off of Death Note
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 4th Dec, 2011
- offline last seen Nov 14th, 2019
thatguyfromkfc
I'm British, I write sad-fics, play Minecraft and watch ponies.
thatguyfromkfc
Joined 4th Dec, 2011 ·
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So what do you think of this first chapter?
796298 its a bit fast but it looks good
Damn this looks interesting,more plz
very fast but i'l check how it goes it coud use some romance like death note lol
Clicked because of epic picture, but lookin forwards to the rest of this :D
It looks interesting, but it's too fast. You gotta slow down and get the pacing right.
Twilight cant die
Love the FMA refence in there, genius...but this seemed a bit to fast paced and she just appeared in Canterlot...odd right? Also you used the word matter at hand when it should have been matter at hoof...ponies and all you know?
Also, be sure to caplize the first letter of your pen name and if you are doing romance in this then I got a few ideas I can throw your way.....I'll be watching this and reviewing all chapters, watch out for spelling and grammer errors and know that I got your back if you ever need ideas, advice, hepl...peace bro...hoping to see more...also, I love Oblivion (the dark half of Twilight Sparkle and member of the Dark Elements or Disharmony as they are also known as) hoping to see her in it as well
seems interesting, but it was wat too fast
That cover pic is badass.
So... Twilight realizes just how powerful she is and -somehow- gets corrupted by it and tries to rid Equestria of evil?
Hmm...OK, I'm not going to lie to ya, I really don't know about this story. It has an interesting idea, but it went by way to fast. Need to slow down a bit and try pacing the story right. I mean there was hardly any room for character or plot development, even though this is just one chapter. As of right now, it feels more like a one-shot fanfic right now. Which is shame, because it has quite the good cover art.