I'll Fly Higher

Rainbow Dash is the only family Scootaloo has ever had. She has always been there for her. But when she Rainbow Dash dies how will she cope?

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Comments ( 13 )

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flame phoenix

flame phoenix #1 · Jan 17th, 2012 · · ·

This is cute and touching, but could be a little bit longer.

Mithrandir

Mithrandir #2 · Jan 17th, 2012 · · ·

I agree, also, you could combine many of these sentences, it makes them less choppy and more fluid when read. (If you're up to it) you should expand upon this, the premise has promise and i'm sure there are many places you can take this. Keep on writing, it's the only way to get better (Celestia knows I need to).

thatguyfromkfc

thatguyfromkfc #3 · Jan 17th, 2012 · · ·

It's more of a short story than a long one.

wackyteen

wackyteen #4 · Jan 17th, 2012 · · ·

"She had been thrown out by his father. After his mother died his father had changed."

umm.....

thatguyfromkfc

thatguyfromkfc #5 · Jan 17th, 2012 · · ·

I pressed the wrong button and accidentally deleted a comment...

thatguyfromkfc

thatguyfromkfc #6 · Jan 17th, 2012 · · ·

I pressed the wrong button and accidentally deleted a comment...

Fluttrick

Fluttrick #7 · Jan 17th, 2012 · · ·

That was beautiful.

rainbowcrashplc5

rainbowcrashplc5 #8 · Jan 18th, 2012 · · ·

Scootaloo is NOT a BOY!

#9 · Jan 18th, 2012 · · ·

"Could be longer" isn't really what I'm looking for: there are so many untold stories implied in this. I want to see how this Dash/Scootaloo interact, to see how their connection works as a family. I want to read about how Dash fell ill -- how old is Scoots at this point anyway? And where is everypony -- surely all off Dash's friends would be there for her too.

It's a touching idea: we never meet Scootsloo's parents, so she's often an orphan in fanon. And Rainbow Dash adopting her would be totally adorable, so I think we need to see that. And finally, Rainbow is much older than Scootaloo, so it's likely that Dash will leave Scootaloo behind. This is an opportunity for much more and deeper character examination, so flesh it out.

Fluttrick