Chapter 17: …They Pull You Back In
Sunset Shimmer and Twilight Sparkle trudged through the snow-covered crystal streets as sleet and snow pelted a turquoise shield held in place by Sunset. The two craned their heads upwards as they tried to peer through the thick, shifting mass of icy precipitation.
Twilight shifted her head one way or the other as she scanned the sky. “Hopefully they’re still up there. Keep your eyes open for energy beams keeping the storm away.”
“Oh, is that what we’re looking for?” Sunset replied sarcastically. “I was keeping an eye out for a couple of flying morons.”
Twilight frowned slightly. “That’s a bit mean to say about your mom and Princess Luna.”
Sunset just shook her head. “My mom is going to get herself killed trying to fight the storm like this.” Sunset looked down at Twilight and smiled. “Belittling her decision like this keeps the soul-crushing anxiety of having to give her eulogy at bay!”
“A-alright… Well, what about Princess Luna?”
Sunset looked back up at the sky. “Who’s more foolish? The fool or the fool that follows her?”
“Huh… Some sort of earth wisdom?” Twilight suggested.
“Well… I guess you can say it came from a wise man… Wait… I see them. Good thing too, I don’t think my shield will last much longer out here.” The turquoise barrier that separated Twilight and Sunset from the elements began to flicker, almost as in response.
Twilight looked up to see beams of energy fired off against angry-looking dark clouds that belched icy precipitation and fired off lightning. “Okay, now to get their attention. Princess Celestia! Princess Luna! We need your help!”
Both Twilight and Sunset looked up expectantly only to witness Celestia and Luna continue to do battle with the weather.
“Yeah, unless they’re signaling us with their blasts against the clouds that keep coming, I’m guessing they didn’t hear you,” Sunset remarked.
“One of us will have to fly up,” Twilight cried.
“Fly up into that crazy-cold storm?” Sunset scoffed. “You’d have to be as crazy as them to do something that insane.”
“Well, we’ve got to try something,” Twilight emphasized.
Sunset placed a forehoof on Twilight’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, I can get Celestia’s attention,” Sunset said.
“Oh!” Twilight said, her spirits seeming to rise slightly. “You know a spell that will help?”
“Not exactly…” Sunset replied. She stared up at her mother as Celestia fired off another beam of canary-yellow energy. “Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma!”
Twilight looked at Sunset in disbelief. “You’ve got to be kidding me. There’s no way—”
“Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy!”
Celestia suddenly turned downwards, barely restrained irritation on her face as she forced a smile. “Oh, what is it, Sunset darling?”
“… Seriously?” Twilight sighed.
“We need you to come down here!” Sunset shouted up.
Celestia’s head twitched slightly as behind her Luna did her best to keep the black clouds at bay. “Sorry, my little shimmering sunlight, but mommy and her sister are busy saving everypony!”Celestia hissed out.
“Yeah, but you’re sucking at it!”
Celestia snarled in response as Princess Luna cocked her head and looked down at Sunset.
“Just come down here, alright?!” Sunset called. “We have a plan that actually has a chance of working!”
“I’M NOT UP HERE FREEZING MY FLANK OFF BECAUSE I THOUGHT WE HAD A CHANCE OF ACTUALLY MAKING THE STORM GO AWAY!” Celestia raged. “I’M TRYING TO KEEP IT AT BAY SO YOU TWO CAN FIX THE CRYSTAL HEART!”
Twilight looked back and forth between the quarreling alicorns as a trepidatious expression drifted onto her face. Similarly, Luna looked back and forth between the pair as her brow began to crinkle in irritation.
“THAT’S WHAT THIS IS ABOUT!” Sunset shouted back irritably. “SO STOP WASTING EVERYPONY’S TIME UP THERE AND GET YOUR FROZEN FLANK DOWN HERE SO WE CAN GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD!”
“WASTING TIME?!” Celestia frothed. “LUNA AND I HAVE BEEN UP HERE TRYING TO—”
Sunset rolled her eyes. “Oh, blah, blah, blah...” she said bobbing her head back and forth. “Just shut up and—”
“EXCUUUUUSE ME?! YOU MIGHT NOT BE A FILLY ANYMORE, BUT I CAN STILL GIVE YOUR SUN-ADORNED FLANK A GOOD SWA—”
“BOTH OF YOU CEASE THIS PRATTLING AT ONCE!” Luna bellowed in an unworldly volume that shook the entire city. “I WILL NOT FLY HERE, GROWING COLDER AND COLDER AS A FAMILY SQUABBLE DESTROYS ONE OF THE LARGEST EMPIRES IN EQUESTRIA! NOW BOTH OF YOU BEHAVE OR I WILL VISIT SOMETHING UTTERLY HORRID INTO YOUR NIGHTMARES!”
Celestia and Sunset were utterly shaken from their argument and looked up at Luna with befuddled, terrified expressions.
“Yes, sister…” Celestia said sheepishly as she descended.
“Yes, ma’am!” Sunset exclaimed.
Celestia and Luna joined Sunset and Twilight on the ground as Sunset extended her barrier around the new arrivals. The pair stretched their wings as best they could, both cringing as small sheets of ice cracked and fell from their wings to the icy ground below.
Celestia was first to speak. “Given you two are out here in the freezing cold, I’m guessing you haven’t yet figured out how to fix the crystal heart.”
Sunset grunted in annoyance as her shield flickered again against the weather.
Twilight glanced at Sunset then looked back at Celestia. “Sunburst has a plan to fix the Crystal Heart.”
“Who is this Sunburst you speak of?” Luna inquired.
“He’s a former student of Mom’s school,” Sunset answered, “and an old friend of my and Twilight’s friendship student.”
Twilight raised an eyebrow at Sunset but said nothing.
Before another word could be uttered, a resounding explosion rocked the area as a column of electric blue energy tore through a nearby city street.
Celestia and Luna looked over with bewildered expressions as Sunset and Twilight simply furrowed their brows in irritation.
“What was that?!” Celestia cried.
Luna piped up, “Perhaps one of our enemies seeks to take advantage of this chaos!”
Sunset sighed heavily, “No, that was most likely Twilight’s student deciding she didn’t want to deal with the snow on the street.”
“Oh, I get it!” Twilight snapped. “When she blows something up she’s my student!”
“Hey! She’s my student in that I managed to drag her passively resisting body over to Sunburst’s and get her to actually talk with him!” Sunset protested. “But it was your idea to take her as a student initially. Maybe you should have started with the basics, like not using dangerous energy blasts to clean snow!” Sunset cringed slightly as the glow on her horn abated slightly. With some focus, she forced the turquoise glow of her horn to return to a bright glow.
Luna frowned as she looked over towards the street that was blasted. “There’s a lot of steam… or maybe even smoke coming from over there…”
Twilight was having none of Sunset’s backtalk. “If you want to share credit for Starlight’s friendship progress, then you need to share responsibility for her actions as well.”
Sunset rolled her eyes. “She didn’t swear vengeance and nearly destroy Equestria several times over because of anything I did!”
Twilight grit her teeth. “But I fixed that! Furthermore, it was me who—”
This time it was Celestia’s turn to lose patience. “Enough! Both of you! If we had the time, I’d have you two retreat to somewhere warm to talk out this issue or at least send you to your rooms to cool down.”
“Sorry, Princess Celestia,” Twilight said sheepishly.
Sunset had a far more fiery response in mind. She narrowed her eyes at Celestia. “You gave my old room to Twilight!” she hissed.
“I gave your old tower quarters to Twilight,” Celestia countered. “Your old room in the castle has been kept exactly as you left it.”
Sunset put on a thoughtful look. “Oh… That’s kind of touching actually… and also really sad.”
Luna continued to look out at the rising vapors from a few streets away. “Do you think anypony needs our help?”
“Well, I don’t hear any screaming,” Sunset said. “So either no pony was there or they’re all dead.”
“Sunset!” Twilight snapped.
“Hey, I’m not saying Starlight necessarily killed anypony. The storm could have killed them before she disintegrated everything in her path.”
Celestia and Luna gave both Twilight and Sunset scrutinizing looks.
“Not helping,” Twilight hissed out through gritted teeth.
“Hey, Spike is with them,” Sunset pointed out. “I’m sure he’ll keep Starlight from doing anything too drastic.”
-~ooo~-
“You shouldn’t fire off energy blasts down entire streets to deal with the weather, Starlight,” Spike said as a waved a claw at Starlight as if she was a naughty puppy.
Sunburst lagged behind the other two, his eyes wide as they soaked in the demonstration of wanton destruction he had just witnessed.
“But it’s cold, and we all kept on slipping on the icy crystal streets!” Starlight shot back. She smiled as steam wafted up from below her. “Now the street is nice and toasty.”
“Okay, but you could have hurt or killed somepony!” Spike emphasized.
“I looked down the street before firing off my blast!” Starlight countered.
“There’s like a meter of visibility right now!” Spike replied.
“Well, I would have blasted the sky, but I think Princess Celestia and Luna have been trying that for like an hour or something…” Starlight mused. She shook her head. “They really should have looked up a spell to vent the atmosphere into space.”
Spike raised an eyebrow as the trio continued its journey to their destination. “Don’t we need that to breathe… amongst other things?”
Starlight waved a hoof about. “Details, Spike. We all feel better now and that’s what’s important?”
Spike frowned as he looked about them. “Okay, what about this fire that’s somehow consuming the crystal houses?”
“The storm will take care of that,” Starlight said. “Probably…”
Sunburst trotted up to Spike and Starlight. “Could we speed this along?” he asked with an anxious grin. “I’d like to, erm, make sure my house isn’t melted or on fire.”
“We’re moving, we’re moving! Let me take care of all this snow that’s accumulated since my last magic blast,” Starlight said as her horn began to glow a bright electric blue once more.
Sunburst let out a nervous “Ehhhehhhehehehe…” as Spike placed a claw on Starlight’s back.
“Can’t you just put up a shield or something?” Spike suggested.
Starlight frowned. “I already said I was more a destroyer than a creator!”
“But you put up tons of barriers when you fought Twilight!” Spike replied.
Starlight let out an exasperated sigh. “Fine!” she groaned as a bubble of electric blue energy englobed everypony. “Guess I’ll just solve problems the boring way, without blowing anything up!” she griped.
“Yes, please,” Sunburst said.
Starlight let out a groan of frustration as she continued to trot forward with a sour expression on her face. “You could stand to be less of a whiner about this, you know.”
“You almost blew up an entire street!” Sunburst fired back.
“Hey! Almost only counts in horseshoes and manaclysmic explosions that destroy everything for miles and miles,” Starlight replied.
Sunburst looked over at Spike who just gave him a shrug. “Sorry dude, you are kinda being a whiner.”
“Wha.. Er… Really?!” Sunburst said in disbelief. “You really think that after that huge blast?!”
“Hey, I live with her,” Spike said. “Her and one other crazy magic user…” Spike rubbed his chin with a thumb and foreclaw. “Though, I might be a bit desensitized to stuff like this…”
~-ooo-~
“Well what is this plan?” Luna enquired. “As long as my sister and I can go inside, I suppose it will be an improvement.”
Sunset and Twilight flinched slightly.
“Yeah… about that…” Sunset began.
Celestia sighed. “I did miss you, Sunset, but I did not miss the ‘you’re not going to like what I have to say’ tone…”
Twilight spoke up, “We need to round up the evacuating ponies to actually go forward with the Crystalling, so we need you two to go back out there and lead ponies back to the castle.”
Celestia frowned heavily at Twilight then turned towards Sunset. “Okay, but before I go I want you to know something.”
Luna and Twilight looked at Celestia expectantly.
“Mom, this isn’t the time to get all mushy on—“
“You’re my worst daughter,” Celestia interrupted.
Luna and Twilight’s eyes widened slightly in surprise.
Sunset just smiled back. “But I am your daughter, right?”
Celestia lowered her head and nuzzled Sunset, affection that Sunset quickly returned. “Always,” Celestia said as Twilight favored the moment with a small smile.
Luna spoke up, “Wouldn’t Sunset also be your best daughter, being your only daughter, sister?”
Celestia turned and shushed her sister. “Shhhh… Don’t say such things in front of her, otherwise her ego will spiral completely out of control.”
Sunset couldn’t help but snerk.
Luna turned towards Sunset. “I dare say it’s far too late for that,” she deadpanned.
“Hah!” Twilight squawked mirthfully.
Sunset’s eyes widened slightly as she looked at Luna. “Oh, I like you.” She motioned towards the sky. “Now go on! We need every flier out there rounding up ponies!”
Celestia and Luna paused as devious smiles slowly crept onto their faces. “Fliers you say?” Celestia said.
“Yes! That’s why… Why are you two looking at us like…” Sunset trailed off and craned her neck behind her to look at her own wings. “Oh, buck me,” she uttered as her shield finally gave way and snow and sleet began to pour over the ponies.
“Language, young mare,” Celestia chastised.
“Gosh dang it, Sunset!” Twilight replied as she squinted and used a wing to block the onslaught of freezing snow.
“Give me a break!” Sunset said as she two shielded her face with a wing. “I’m not used to having wings!”
“So… what? You were just trying to throw me to the timber-wolves?”
“Uh…”
With a deep inhale, Luna looked up, her horn glowing a radiant midnight blue as she place a shield over the ponies present.
Celestia looked over at Twilight, “Language, my faithful student.”
Twilight frowned. “But I didn’t swear!”
Celestia nodded. “Yes. You could stand to sprinkle in a few more expletives, ‘Gosh dang it’ just sounds ridiculous.” Celestia shook her head. “Nopony will take you seriously hearing you talk like that.”
Luna nodded. “I do find the rare, but appropriately used sentence enhancer can have quite the effect on a statement.” Lune tossed her gaze upwards. “On that note, I suppose it’s time we all took to the f#@%ing sky.”
Sunset and Twilight’s eyes widened slightly before they looked up into the unforgiving sky. “Okay, fine,” Sunset said with a begrudging smile as she unfurled her wings. “We’ll go help you round up everypony like one big dysfunctional family.”
Celestia’s eyes lit up and she let out a giddy, “Eeeeeeeeeeeee!”
“I thought you'd like that,” Sunset said with a smirk.
Her eyes still pointed upwards, Twilight spoke up, “With all of us helping, it shouldn’t be that bad.”
Sunset let out a groan. “Damnit, Twilight…”
~-o-Soon-o-~
“I WAS WRONG!” Twilight exclaimed as the arctic winds hurled sheets of snow into her face. “IT IS THAT BAD AND ALSO WORSE!”
“What did I say?!” Sunset exclaimed. “I told you to stop tempting fate and after you did it once! I even bucked-up myself and invited disaster on us, but nOoOoOoOoOoO! You just had to say something stupid, didn’t you?!”
“Alright, already!” Twilight said as she looked downward. “Stop yelling at me! You’ve done plenty of that already!”
“Well screaming at the storm isn’t helping!” Sunset pointed out.
“Neither is screaming at me!” Twilight screamed.
“AT LEAST IT MAKES ME FEEL BETTER!”
“STOP IT, BOTH OF YOU!” Celestia bellowed from in front of the quarrelling mares. “DON’T MAKE ME COME BACK THERE!”
Sunset sighed. “Yes, mom…”
“Right, sorry…” Twilight said.
“Wait!” Luna exclaimed from the front of the group as she ceased flying and peered downwards. “I see them.”
The other three alicorns followed suit and then all four descended towards dozens of galloping ponies led by Applejack and Shining Armor.
“This way!” Shining Armor shouted as he pointed down a very wide, and very, very long crystal street.
A yellow-coated crystal earth pony mare with a translucent red mane began to slip on the ice covered ground and crashed chin-first into a snowbank. Warm smile on her face, Fluttershy quickly rushed over and helped the mare back to her hooves where they both joined the panicky mass that was following Shining Armor and Applejack.
As the dark clouds crept ever closer to the group, Rainbow Dash zipped through the sky and busted what she could despite the increasingly thick layers of ice that had coated her wings and legs. With a strained grunt she lowered herself to the ground and began galloping next to Shining Armor.
“Just a little bit further, y’all!” Applejack called out. “The station’s just ahead!”
“You really think a TRAIN is going to be running in all this?!” Sunset exclaimed as she touched ground in front of the group with the other alicorns.
“Twily!” Shining cried excitedly as the ponies around and behind him grounded to a halt. “Please tell me you’ve figured something out!”
“YES, but…” A huge clump of snow suddenly blew into Twilight’s face with a rather rough ‘pomff!’ “Ack!” Twilight did her best to shake the snow off her face as she brushed it with her wings. “As I was saying… AHH!” Twilight quickly fired off a blast from her horn which destroyed a large chunk of ice that was attempting to have a fast and intimate encounter with her muzzle.
“Oh, holy mother of me!” exclaimed Sunset. “Shining Armor, just put a shield up around everypony already!”
“Oh… Right!” Shining said as his horn lit up with a magenta glow. A beam of energy fired straight up from his horn then arced off in all directions until it formed a shield around all the ponies present.
“We have a plan,” Sunset said. “But first…” She stared at Applejack. “No seriously… ‘train station’ was your big idea?”
Applejack narrowed her eyes. “Well, we had ta try something! It’s not like I thought we could outrun the storm.”
Rainbow Dash glowered at Applejack. “Hey! My plan would have worked if you were all as fast as me… And also pegasi.”
Applejack grit her teeth. “Racist!”
Fluttershy trotted up to the group. “I’m a pegasus, and I’m pretty sure I couldn’t fly through all that.”
“See!” Applejack exclaimed. “Even Fluttershy thinks your plan is dumber than a chicken that got its head stuck in the fence.”
“Ooooh!” Twilight uttered in an exasperated tone. “We don’t have time for—”
Sunset placed a wingtip over Twilight’s lips. “Shhh…. It’s kinda nice watching some other ponies argue for a change today.”
Twilight ceased talking and simply looked over at Applejack and Rainbow Dash.
“Well at least I’ve been fighting the storm for you all!” Rainbow Dash shot back. “I mean, I’ve been busting this storm as best I can, but it just keeps on rolling in.”
“Does it ever…” Celestia sighed.
Luna nodded in agreement.
“Hey!” Applejack protested. “Shining Armor and I have been leading the group to possible safety!”
Shining Armor nodded his head up and down.
“And I’ve been helping ponies up when they fall!” Fluttershy quipped.
Everyone paused then stared at Fluttershy.
“… Good for you?” Sunset replied.
Fluttershy lowered her head slightly as her ears wilted. “It’s… erm… all I can do right now…”
“Uh… I guess that’s fair…” Sunset replied.
Shining Armor looked at his Sister. “So what’s the plan Twilight? I mean, you’ve got to have a plan, right? You always have a plan.”
“Well, it’s not her plan,” Sunset interjected. “But there is a plan,” she emphasized.
Twilight nodded. “We have to perform the Crystalling!”
Shining Armor cringed and looked behind him. Beyond the thrashing and biting winds of ice he could only barely make out the castle.
“That’s the plan?!” Rainbow Dash cried. “You want us to go back through the murder storm?!”
“Sure!” Sunset replied happily. “The Crystalling should restore the Crystal Heart and then the storm will go away!”
Applejack motioned to all the everything going on beyond Shining Armor’s shield. “Ah don’t think that’s the problem!” she said as a pony-sized boulder of ice slammed into Shining Armor's Shield.
Shining Armor grunted and winced, dropping a foreleg down to his knee as he strained to maintain his shield.
“It’s fine!” Sunset insisted, if in a somewhat worried tone. She looked at Shining. “You’ve got this right?”
Shining Armor paused and gave Sunset a very serious look. “I have many things. A smoking hot alicorn wife who’s the Princess of Love. A newborn baby that can accidently destroy buildings with a sneeze. An empire made out of crystal… This… is not one of them.”
“Oh…” Sunset uttered. She looked up at Celestia expectantly. “Mom?”
Celestia frowned heavily. “I could possibly bring the sun close enough to burn away the storm.”
Twilight and Luna both raised their eyebrows.
Sunset smiled widely. “Great plan! Love it!”
Celestia continued, “But the ensuing heat would likely kill most everypony as the very air around us catches fire.”
“Horrible plan!” Sunset cried. “Hate it!”
“Well then what do we do?!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed.
Applejack inhaled then exhaled. “I suppose there’s nothing more we can do then start heading back, hope for the best, and pray…”
Sunset furrowed her brow. “Right, except you could just talk to the pony you’d pray to… You know… the one with the fiery death plan?”
“Well… jus’ the first two things then, I reckon…”
-~ooo~-
“Come OoOoOoOoOoOn!” Starlight whined impatiently as Starburst hunted through his collection of books and scrolls. “We need to get back so you can save the day and be made an Ultra High Super Wizard!”
“Uh, Starlight?” Spike said. “I don’t think that’s actually a thing.”
Starlight smiled at Spike. “Of course not… yet…” she said with a wry grin. “When Sunburst gets all the spells we need, I’m sure Princess Cadance and Prince Shining Armor will be so impressed that they’ll make him that on the spot!” Her grin suddenly turned demonic. “Or I’ll force them to… With violence! Muhahahahahahahahaha!”
Spike sighed heavily. “Yeah… I’m thinking maybe Twilight needs to start at the beginning with you in regards to friendship… You know… Like a friendship One-On-One where you learn the basics like… Not threatening ponies to get what you want.”
Starlight grit her teeth. “I’m working on it, alright?!” she hissed out.
“Okay!” Sunburst exclaimed as he trotted over to the pair with a couple of brown saddle bags over his dark blue cloak with light blue stars and trim. “I’ve got all the spells we need.”
“Great!” Starlight exclaimed. “Now let’s get back to the castle and save the day already! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
Spike shook his head and made his way to the door. “We need to work on your laugh too…”
“What’s wrong with the way I laugh?!”
Spike placed his hand on the doorknob. “It, uh… It’s pretty much the laugh of an insane megalomaniac?”
“Gimme a break, Spike!” Starlight exclaimed. “I’ve spent most my life as an insane megalomaniac! This is all brand new to me…”
“I guess that’s fair...” Spike said as he opened the door and was met with a blast of snow and wind that sent him sprawling head over feet into a bookcase. “Ooof…” The wind whipped about the small home and sent scrolls flying in all directions.
Starlight peered through the open door as Sunburst did his bit to grab the scrolls flitting about with his hooves and magic. “Hey!” Starlight shouted. “The fires are out! See! I knew the storm would take care of them!”
Sunburst seemed to forget all about the scrolls for a moment. “Oh… That’s bad…” he uttered as his face turned a shade of orange almost light enough to match the marking down his muzzle. “Very bad indeed.”
“Bad?!” Starlight exclaimed. She bobbed her head in and began to talk in a mocking tone, “Don’t set fire to the entire Empire, Starlight! Oh, it’s bad that the fires you started to keep us warm went out, Starlight!” She glared at Sunburst. “Make up your mind!”
Sunburst sighed. “It’s bad because that means the storm is so strong that it can blow out magic fire. If we don’t repair the Crystal Heart soon, there’s not going to be an empire left to save… let alone anypony in it.”
Spike picked himself up and walked over to the two ponies. “Okay… So… What do we do?”
Sunburst looked over his shelves full of books and scrolls as well as the modest collection he had grabbed. “I… I… I’m not sure… Without a major focusing artifact like the Crystal Heart, I don’t think there’s any spell we can do…”
Starlight frowned and then smiled. “What if you had a small piece of it? Like… enough for us three to get to the castle?”
“Uh… Maybe?” Sunburst said. “I mean… We don’t have the baby or any way to really do the ceremony… but… We don’t have a piece… Do we?”
Starlight looked over at Spike with a knowing grin. “Oh, I think we do…”
“… Why are you looking at me like that?”
Starlight trotted over to Spike and nudged him with an elbow. “Come on, Spike! I saw the way you were looking at the Crystal Heart shards! I mean… I won’t tell if you won’t tell that you snuck one out…”
“Yeah… because I didn’t!” Spike said as the wind blew in more snow followed by a few chunks of ice that crashed into Sunburst’s shelves. Sunburst whimpered as the storm took its toll on the insides of his home.
Starlight’s smile dropped. “Uh… Really? Not even just a tiny bit to try later? Or er… maybe you snuck a bite and there are pieces inside of you we can enchant?”
Spike threw his claws up in the air. “IT’S NOT LIKE I CAN’T CONTROL MY URGES WHEN IT COMES TO MAGICAL ARTIFACTS VITAL TO THE DAILY OPERATION OF AN ENTIRE KINGDOM! BUT, HEY, IF I KNEW MY CURIOSITY FOR EATING ALL THINGS CRYSTAL WOULD HAVE SAVED THE DAY, I WOULD HAVE SNAGGED TWO CLAWFULS OF THE SHATTERED HEART! ONE TO STICK IN MY STRANGE BUILT-IN POCKETS AND THE OTHER TO SHOVEL INTO MY FACE WHEN I THOUGHT NOPONY WAS LOOKING!”
“Alright, sorry, geez!” Starlight exclaimed. Starlight and Spike looked at Sunburst expectantly.
As sweat began to pour over Sunburst’s face his eyes darted nervously over the shelves of books and scrolls that covered the walls of his house. “I… I… Well… um… erm…” Sunburst clenched his eyes hard. “I don’t know…” he muttered in defeat. He hung his head. “It’s… it’s hopeless…”
Spike stuck his claws in his teeth as they began to chatter rapidly.
Starlight lowered her head, casting a dark shadow over her eyes. “No… it’s not…”
“But what are we going to do?!” Sunburst said. “Without a spell to even get us back to the castle—”
“We don’t need a spell!” Starlight insisted as she kept her face pointed downwards.
Spike slowly moved his claws out of his mouth and looked at Starlight.
“… No spell? But how…”
“Because we have something better!” Starlight insisted.
Spike swallowed. “Frrrrrriiiiiieeeeeeeennnndship?” he suggested.
“No,” Starlight said. She looked up with amethyst eyes full of determination. “ME!” she declared. Lowering her head slightly and crinkling her brow, Starlight began to march into the storm as it howled and wiped at her, pelting her with all manner of ice and snow. Soon she was outside and staring upwards into the maelstrom of shifting, thundering clouds that seemed to be erupting with wave upon wave of ice.
“ALRIGHT, S#!T STORM!” Starlight screamed. “I DIDN’T TRY TO BEND EQUESTRIA TO MY VISION AND NEARLY DESTROY IT ACCIDENTLY WITH TIME MAGIC JUST SO MY FRIENDS AND I COULD DIE ATTENDING SOME GLORIFIED BABY SHOWER! I GOT DRAGGED HERE TO RECONNECT WITH MY OLD FRIEND, AND I’M NOT GOING TO LET SOMETHING RIDICULOUS LIKE BAD WEATHER WRECK ALL THAT! I AM STARLIGHT GLIMMER AND I MAKE WORLDSCONFORM TO MY WHIMS! DO YOU HEAR ME?! WORLDS!” Starlight’s horn began to crackle with electric blue energy as she stared up daringly into the raging skies above. “YOU WANT ME?!” she howled as her horn began to grow brighter and brighter as energy arced off it and seared the surrounding ice-covered crystal streets and houses.
“THEN COME AND GET ME!”
A massive column of electric blue magic fired straight up into the sky, cackling just as angrily as the storm that raged high above the ice coated Crystal Empire. The clouds roiled with energy around the massive beam, but the magical pillar burned all the brighter and fired off cascading discharges in all directions until it was impossible to tell the difference between the thundering lightning of the storm and the wrath-filled plasma arcs that tore through everything in their path.
Starlight Glimmer clenched her eyelids into a rage-filled scowl, stared skyward, and screamed at the heavens.
“STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORM!”
Starlight Glimmer
Vs.
Murder Storm
I'm kind of surprised that Sunburst wasn't disturbingly impressed by Starlight's ability to blow up entire streets.
I'd have gone with Through the Fire and the Flames by Dragon Force. Loving how this is going either way.
Okay so I read Time-Out Tuesday earlier, that and this chapter have made it my headcanon that Starlight go-to response for problem solving is destruction.
Do I detect a hint of DBZA?
7882226
Me? Reference DBZA? Never!
Always.
I'm seeing a parallel between Starlight's rage against the storm and Zuko raging against the lightning on top of that mountain. In the episode, Zuko's challenge to Nature accomplished nothing and left him with no more answers to his problems than he started with. Even if Starlight manages to reduce the storm for a while, I wonder if pitting herself against the relentless force of a polar storm will teach her something about her limitations no one else could?
You rock, Shining.
Coming next week, only on the Scyfy channel!
That was nice
MOOOOOOOOON!!
Why am I suddenly reminded of Ash from the Evil Dead screaming about 'primitive screw heads' ? Does that make Starlight in her entirety the boomstick?
Groovy.
God we need another season of Dan vs
This just keeps getting better and better.
Called it : Starlight is Equestria's Dan. Oh when the Wheel and butterfly will continue, it will be soooooo fun if Starlight appears....
Twilight : Oh Celestia, there's two of them !
Pinkie : Oh, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, lookit ! She's like second you ! A you who is a pony ! And a mare ! And Purple !
Dan : Goofball ? I'm pretty sure that as a pony I'm not that. She's like... a Too Purple Two.
Starlight : Hey ! At least i don't look like all my fur got massacred by a murderous barber !
Dan : Hey ! My hair got massacred by a murderous barber !
Starlight : ...Did he pay ?
Twilight : Starlight !
Dan : Of course he did ! Who do you take me for ?
Pinkie : Dan !
And... i'm stopping right now because my creating juices are running out, and i'm not good to try to imagine scenes, and didn't invest myself in Dan vs. enough to be able to an accurate portrayal... X)
But damn, if you use this kind of portrayal of Starlig from this fic for the Wheel... XD
Also : Damn, Talk about a dysfunctional family... And the worst of it is that Celestia is happy to have this dysfunctional family... her thousand years of solitude did a number on her huh ?
Okay...that ending was priceless!
And the interactions between Sunset, Twilight, Celestia, and Luna were hilarious. Felt like a real - if dysfunctional - family.
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Dan: So what's your story?
Starlight: Best friend got a Cutie Mark before me and left me-
Sunburst: Still super duper sorry about that!
Starlight: It's fine, Sunburst! I didn't blame you, I blamed Cutie Marks in general and founded a cult to erase them from Equestrian culture!
Pinkie: That is just-
Dan: Awesome! Good job.
Pinkie: Dan!
Starlight: Didn't work out. Too Purple over here-
Twilight: You're one to talk!
Starlight: -wrecked it by exposing the fact I was waiting to erase my own Cutie Mark until last so I would actually have the power to keep doing so.
Dan: Yeah, she's like that.
Twilight: Dan! I thought we were getting better-
Dan: Just because I tolerate you as a cross-dimensional friend/minion doesn't make me blind to your faults! Chris has been 'The Chris' since we were kids, but that doesn't stop me from reminding him of the times he's chosen a pie over saving me!
Starlight: Wow. Twilight, are you sure friendship's for me?
Sunburst: I'd choose you over a pie any day!
Starlight: And that's why you're second bestie, right after Trixie.
Sunburst: ...second?
Starlight: Hey, sister before dicker, am I right?
Dan: That is the strangest reversal of an expression I've ever come across.
Twilight: Wait, how come Trixie is before me?
Starlight: Twilight, you're my teacher. Why would you be on my friends list?
Twilight: Celestia was my teacher, and my friend!
Spike: To be fair, Twilight, you didn't stop freaking out about friendly familiarity until you'd been a Princess for like, a year.
Dan: So what'd you do to get back at Too Purple over wrecking your cult?
Starlight: Rewrote a time spell so I could go back in time and prevent her friendship from coming to pass so she could see what it was like to grow up totally alone and friendless like I did.
Dan: Awesome!
Twilight: DAN!
Dan: What? I can respect a well executed vengeance plot!
Twilight: It nearly destroyed Equestria several times over, all but eradicating the timeline!
Dan: Pfft! Collateral damage!
Twilight: ...her succeeding would have meant you never would have met Pinkie.
Dan: ...bad Too Purple Two. Lay off the time magic.
Starlight: Yeah...might have gone just a teensy bit too far there...
Dan: And after all that you let Sunbutter over there-
Starlight: Sunburst.
Dan: Whatever! You let him back into your life. What, is he like really great in bed or something?
Twilight: DAN!
Starlight: The best!
Twilight: STARLIGHT!
Starlight: And have you seen his goatee? It's just so perfect I could...not discuss that where Spike can hear.
Spike: Hey!
Dan: Goatee?
Starlight: Yeah. It's hard for stallions to grow facial hair beyond the fur coat, and it's a huge turn on for most mares. Why do you think Starswirl - as famous as he was - was known as 'the Bearded'?
Dan: *rubs his stubble* Interesting...
Pinkie: I do keep telling you how much I like your scratchy chin.
Dan: Worship my stubble, puny ponies! Worship it!
Spike: ...and I'm out.
...wow. I had not realized how much I'd written there.
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"Second bestie"
7882403 That's what happens when inspiration really strike, and you have the talent to back it up. And you just reminded me why, as the same title as Justice, you are some of my favorites authors !
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And mind-control. Can't forget about that.
THis!!! XD
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So does that mean assuming pony Starlight makes an appearance in Wheel and the Butterfly as Twilight's Friendship Student, you'll be using that scene I just wrote?
KAKAROOOOOOOOT!!!!!!!!!
Eh.
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Takes what happened at Cranky"s wedding and runs a glorious marathon with it.
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7882403
Pinkie: Chris didn't choose me, he chose Elise, are you saying you don't want THIS Pie!?!
Has there been a Dan vs Barber? We need a Dan vs Barber next if not!!
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Dan: The baked good, goofball! Geeze, it's like dealing with a mentally challenged gerbil with you sometimes!
Starlight: Except more tolerable because she's great in bed?
Dan: And because I love her to death. I'm not that shallow!
On point with the psychotically funny as always!
7882610 Gee that was quick! I salute you good sir!!
??Is she a hobbit now?
you would
derpicdn.net/img/2016/3/29/1119875/medium.gif
Aahhhhhhhhhhhh I saw that DBZA Reference, you cheeky goob.
And the ending, priceless!
Hahah! Can't wait for more of this epic tale
I figure that either Starlight will buy them a few minutes or burn herself out. More likely both. She's going to feel this one in the morning.
Meanwhile, I have a strong mental vision of a seriously annoyed Luna sitting at Celestia's desk, doing paperwork, whilst Twilight, Celestia and Sunset each stand in separate 'naughty corners'.
Was this a Squirrel Girl reference? It feels like a Squirrel Girl reference.
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"Sister this is most emberassing."
"Then you should have thought of that before you behaved like a foal."
"She got you there mom."
"Sunset that's ten more minutes."
"But--!"
"Want to make it twenty?"
"Grr... fine."
"Yeah! The last time that happened I ran away!"
And then everything got awkward.
7882918 You know, knowing you're deliberately trying to be over the top with Starlight just makes it all the more hilarious at how in character she seems. I think the problem is that Starlight herself is the top, and you can't go over that.
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I definitely need to put a lot more thought into what I want to do with Starlight in regards to TW&TB. Mostly 'cause the story is STILL somewhere in season 4 and pretty much none of the stuff I had planned out included Starlight.
Still, the more maniacs the better. I'm still on the fence regarding if I want to make Sunburst and Starlight's relationship a thing. I'm not against it, but I'd like for the show to at least hint that there's some interest or something. Anyhow, I'm sure there's room for something long the lines of what you wrote way in the future where Starlight becomes a regular cast member.
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There has, in fact, been a Dan Vs. Barber. Season 1, Episode 14
Well, it seems to be working...
Huh, the parallels with Dan paint Starlight in a new, kinda terrifying light.
7883067 Must get around to watching the episodes now they're on youtube, not shown here in Australia.
Preeeeeeeetty sure you meant Sunburst each of those times.......
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7883170
Got these. Thanks!
I love the method to her madness. WITH VIOLENCE!
Starlight Glimmer
Vs.
Murder Storm
.....Cue laughing fit that lasts for days!!!!!
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Mmmm, hopefully I'll see such a fic sometime~ hoho
Dan Vs ending.
Yes.
Another amazing chapter. Great job.
I love all the references you use here: Family Guy, DBZA, Dan VS and I know there's another one but I can't put my finger on it.
But I hope you use Red Vs Blue later on. Say somehow work in a scene involving someone saying: But why snowman. Or even a true warrior/friend test
Welp, we're about to be shy one raging winter storm. Break out the popcorn!
I feel like we might need some proper analysis on the extent of the powers at work here.... lemme go get Wiz and Boomstick.
Isn't she kinda immortal?
Yes.
I can't believe that worked.
Good answer.
Now what?
No shit?
Goddammit book horse.
I understood that reference.
She has a point.
That, is actually really cool.
Got Starlight talking to herself here
I bet Starlight and Dan would get on very well. I can imagine them comparing notes on vengeance plots