• Published 29th Mar 2016
  • 16,476 Views, 1,612 Comments

Sunset Shimmer is MAD about EVERYTHING - Justice3442

Sunset Shimmer, practitioner of friendship, twice savior of Canterlot High, alicorn. She's offered to help Twilight's new student as the whole group travels to the Crystal Empire for a Crystalling. Should be a relaxing, stress free trip. Right?

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Chapter 6: Trapped in the Closet

Author's Note:

Hello and thanks for sticking with this for as long as you have, dear readers.

Let's give a warm welcome to the 'sex' tag! Wow 'sex' tag... It's been like... one story since I didn't add you when it became apparent that I couldn't in good conscious leave you out? Please don't invite your friends 'gore' and 'dark'. This is strictly a don't tell 'g' and 'd' party.

Special thanks to Tired Old Man for editing and advice as well as probably a few lines we cooked up talking about the baby well before the Crystalling aired. Also thanks to nobody dreamer for reminding me that Pinkie sense is totally a thing. Why didn't that go off anytime during the two parter where we had alicorn baby and almost complete destruction of the Crystal Empire? The world may never know.

Chapter 6: Trapped in the Closet

The group of ponies and one dragon trotted down a long, massive hallway, the ponies’ hooves making contact with the smooth, almost reflective floor and producing a gentle ‘clip-clop’ sound that echoed off the white crystal walls which towered high, high above the ponies into a vaulted ceiling where sunshine poured in through clear crystals skylights. Passing by pony-high crystal clusters each with a single cylindrical crystal support column that shot up all the way to the ceiling, Shining Armor stopped the group in front of a set of purple double doors. These doors were over three times taller than a unicorn measured hooves to horn which ended in a point with a light-purple splotch at the top and a pink heart in the center. Over the doors was a teal arch with small light blue hearts leading up to a giant light blue butterfly, and above that was a shining pink crystal heart.

Sunset Shimmer looked at the door, then glanced around at her surroundings. “Wow… that’s got to be the biggest nursery in all Equestria…”

Shining moved towards the side of the door and looked at every pony, his eyes settling on Twilight Sparkle before her spoke, “Before we go in, I should probably tell you… Seeing the baby might be a bit of a shock,” Shining Armor continued.

The nursery door’s sparkled before opening with a purple glow. “Come on, big brother,” Twilight said as she trotted into the nursery, looking back at her brother. “I’ve seen babies before. I expected meet—”

“Hey, Twilight?” Sunset called out.

Twilight gave an exasperated sigh and stopped in the middle of the room. “What is it, Sunset?”

“Cadence has to be in there, right?” Sunset asked as she looked into the room.

Twilight looked around the room and replied, “Uh… Yes? She looks… erm… tired…?”

“Oh, my gosh, Twilight!” Sunset uttered as she trotted towards the nursery. “Tell me you didn’t just walk by your sister-in-law and ex-foalsitter without—”

“ACK!” Pinkie cried as her entire body began to shake as she sat on her haunches. Despite her sitting position, she still bounced off the smooth floor up and down several inches. “Oh my gosh! Something big is going to happen girls!”

Sunset paused and turned towards Pinkie. “So… I should… not go in here?”

Pinkie shook her head and giggled. “Oh, something big is probably going to happen no matter what you do, so you might as well go in.”

Er… Okay…?” Sunset said.

Starlight shook her head. “Maybe this really isn’t such a great idea.”

Sunset dropped her eyelids as her eyes shifted to glare at Starlight. “Starlight, I swear if you keep trying to put a stop to me talking to my adopted cousin to get out of talking to Sunburst, I will make farting noises with my mouth the entire time you try to talk to him.”

Starlight’s eyes shot open and she clenched her teeth into a massive cringe that she elected to keep on her face.

Spike chuckled. “That sounds fun! Count me in.”

Her teeth still clenched, Starlight let out a tiny, high-pitched noise of distress.

Pinkie giggled. “Maybe I should go with all you three… I love making farting noises!” Pinkie said as she placed both forehooves up to her mouth and blew hard enough that her cheeks puffed out. “PFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTHTTTTTTTHTTTTTT!”

Sunset shot a wide, devilish grin at Starlight, whose eyes darted between Sunset and Pinkie with a look of total abject horror.

“If we don’t all die, that is,” Pinkie added. “We might all die!” she said in an eerily chipper tone.

Fluttershy let out yet another distressed squeak for the day.

“Cheer up, Fluttershy!” Pinkie said as she zipped up to the timid pegasus. “We all have to die someday! It’s just that someday might be today and because of Pinkie Sense we have ample reason to believe that!” Pinkie said with a massive grin as she held her face a hair’s width away from Fluttershy’s.

Fluttershy let out a sad whimper as she backed her head away from Pinkie, her hooves seemingly stuck in place. Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity collectively sighed and shook their heads at Pinkie. Shining Armor snored loudly as he leaned against the crystal doorframe of the nursery.

Inside the room, Twilight’s eyes shifted as she looked in confusion at the utility closet her former mentor and her mentor’s sister just disappeared into, the crib in front of her, and then finally Cadance. Cadance, who was shaking in place with chattering teeth and looking out the nursery door as if some sort of horrible monster was waiting right outside to swallow her whole. Twilight shook her head as if clearing the confusion from it and picked something to address first. “Cadance? Are… are you alright…?”

Cadance turned towards Twilight. “Fa-fine!” she said as she clamped down on her teeth to get them to stop chattering. “Ne… never better!”

Twilight smiled warmly. “You must really need a break!”

“A… a break! …. Sure…”

Still smiling, Twilight nodded. “Well, that’s what I’m here for! Also… sorry about… you know…” Twilight said with a sheepish look.

Cadance gulped and glanced towards the door again.

Twilight continued, “I guess I got so caught up in wanting to see the baby, I almost forgot to say hello!” Twilight gave an annoyed sigh. “Guess I have Sunset Shimmer to thank for that!”

Cadance’s head twitched ever so slightly. “Oh… that… It-it’s alright…” Cadance said as she quickly painted a light smile onto her face over the heavily colored, dark fear she was already wearing. The colors of the smile proved insufficient as fear continued to bleed out onto her features. “So! You… you brought Sunset Shimmer with you...” she said, the statement coming out almost like a question.

Er… Uh-huh…” Twilight said with a small nod. “She’s uh… she’s helping me with a new friendship student and said something about wanting to talk to you personally.”

Cadance’s eyes shot open wide as her black pupils began to drown in a mass of twin amethyst seas. “Oh…OH!” Cadance said with mock excitement. Her next word came out in a whisper. “Ga-good!”

Uh… Twilight?” Sunset asked. “Can I come in now?”

“… Sure?” Twilight said as she tilted her head and looked over Cadance in worry. “I mean, everypony can come in… I don’t think there’s a reason for everypony to stand outside…”

Cadance’s knees began knocking against each other as her sets of teeth clattered against each other.

Uh… Cadance?“

“Finally!” Sunset huffed at as she trotted in. Her eyes immediately settled on Cadance as she gave the pink alicorn a warm smile. “Hey, cuz! Long time, no—”

“Oh, Celestia!” Cadance cried as she threw her forehooves over her face and collapsed to the floor. “PleeeEEEEEeeeEEEEEeease don’t kill me!”

Sunset grimaced.

“Sister!” a muffled voice called out from a nearby set of doors. “You are summoned!”

“Shhh!” a muffled reply shushed out.

One of Sunset’s ears flicked as she turned to stare at the purple crystal door the muffled voices had just come out of.

“Sunset!” Twilight cried out angrily. “What did you do?!”

Sunset waved a forehoof dismissively. “Years of verbal and emotional abuse all because I was a resentful, stuck-up, selfish, possessive mare with mommy issues,” she answered as she crept closer to the door were the muffled voices had come from. “I mean… You should have figured that out by now given what your brother said about three or four times.”

“Wait…” Twilight said as she dwelled on this. “CADANCE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU?!”

“Shhhh!” Sunset shushed as she raised a forehoof to her lips. She examined the purple door carefully as her horn glowed turquoise, a glow that surrounded the knob to the purple door. “I sense something… a presence I’ve not felt since—”

A loud, gravelly noise of someone clearing their throat loudly caused Sunset to stop. She turned to see Spike tapping his foot impatiently and motioning to Cadance, who continued to cower on the floor. Starlight peered worriedly at the pink alicorn, then looked up to share the look with Sunset. The other mares besides Twilight stared into the room with either curiosity or anger directed at Sunset. Twilight herself was coming up quite on top of the ‘angry’ list if expressions were anything to go by.

“Right! Sorry!” Sunset said as her glow disappeared from the knob and she turned to face Cadance. “I was going to-Gee—”Sunset paused to look around the nursery “–This nursery is huge! Wow Cadance, talk about your little foal lucking out when it comes to parents and rooms, I just…” Sunset trailed off as she stared at the double purple doors that lead into the room. They were roughly as tall as two unicorns stacked on top of each other. “OH MY GOD!” Sunset cried. “HOW DID THAT DOOR SHRINK?! DON’T TELL ME THE CASTLE IS—”

Twilight began to growl out from between clenched teeth, “Suuuuunseeeeeet Shiiiiiimmeeeeeer…”

“Sorry, Twilight!” Sunset cried as she turned towards Twilight. “I’m just so angry right now, and—”

Cadance let out a terrified whimper.

“Oh my gosh!” Sunset exclaimed as she stared at Cadance apologetically. “Not at you Cadance! Just… there’s a ton of weird stuff going on here regarding this train and architecture… You know, things that absolutely should not change, and no one but me seems to notice and…” Sunset took a deep breath and smiled at Cadance who kept her head covered as she shook on the floor. “Let me start all over.” Sunset lowered herself so she was laying on her belly, looking directly at Cadance’s face, or rather the forelegs in front of her face. “Cadance… look… I’m sorry for… for… for well… Well, for everything! Literally everything I ever said or did to you… Just for… for every waking moment you had the misfortune of being in my presence where I was a grumpy, glaring… gangrenous—”

Pinkie nodded her head in approval.

“— teenaged filly who made your life harder! I’m sorry for all of it! You really didn’t deserve how I treated you at all.

“Choke… Sob…”

The ponies all turned from the scene in front of them to stare at the purple door across the room which was apparently softly letting its emotions out as it witnessed the scene in front of it.

One of Sunset’s ears twitched again. “I swear, that sounds like…”


Sunset turned back to see Cadance staring at her with glassy eyes and a fearful expression, but hopeful smile on her face.

Sunset smiled and nodded. “Yes! Really!” Sunset stood up and stretched her wings out to their full length.

Cadance stared up at the wings as her hopeful smile suddenly turned upside down into a hopeless look of despair.

Sunset continued, “And see! I’m an alicorn now, too!” Sunset said pointing at her wings. “ So I don’t have to be jealous of that difference, either! Oh and…” Sunset stuck out her tongue and stared up into dropped eyelids as her horn glowed turquoise and a small scroll flew out of Pinkie’s hair electing a surprised “Hey!” from the pink pony.

Sunset floated the list over to Cadance as she returned her wings to her sides. “And I composed a short list of names you can call me! You know… To start getting even with me.”

“Sunset!” Twilight began in a chastising tone. “Now, I’m not sure what exactly happened with you and Cadance, but you should know two wrongs don’t make a—”

Cadance eagerly snatched the list with a bright blue glow of her horn and poured her eyes over it.

Twilight sighed. “Never mind,” she said sheepishly.

Cadance giggled slightly as she read the list. “Ketchup and Mustard Mane Medley? I don’t really get ‘Bacon Hair’ but-hah- ‘Magical talking campfire?’” Cadance said with a grin.

Sunset smiled happily. “You can thank your husband for that one!”

Cadance rolled up the list with her magic and gave Sunset a small smile. “Thanks Sunset! These are a lot better than the names I came up for you back when we were teenagers.”

Still smiling, Sunset swallowed. “You… you came up with names for me?”

Cadance nodded. “Sure… Just things like… Oh… little orange tyrant… Equestria’s youngest megalomaniac… the last living thing I’ll see before I die in a horrible fire that Sunset will probably make look like an accident.”

Sunset somehow maintained her smile as her face seemed to turn a lighter shade of orange. “Cl-classic!” she said, her voice cracking slightly. She shook her head and reached down a foreleg towards Cadance. “Now why don’t you get up off the floor! Don’t worry! I won’t bite!”

Cadance stared at Sunset’s foreleg in uncertainty then tentatively stretched out her own.

Sunset looped her foreleg around Cadance’s and brought the pink alicorn up to her hooves. She turned to Starlight with a smile. “See! That wasn’t so hard.”

Starlight sighed and gave Sunset a small smile.

“Atta girl, Sunset!” Spike said as he pumped a fist into the air.

Sunset turned towards Cadance and held up a foreleg into the air as she spread her wings again. “Now, cuz, how about you and I share a nice, warm family hu—”

Cadance let out a terrified shriek and pressed herself against the nearest wall, covering her face as she went back to shivering.

Sunset’s smile twitched ever so slightly. “Alright! We’re not there yet!” she said in a chipper tone. “Message received! Yaknowwhat? Raincheck! Sunset said as she pointed towards Cadance with a forehoof, her wings retracting towards her body.

“No really,” Twilight said as she looked at Sunset with an unamused expression. “What the hay—”

Twilight was suddenly cut off as Applejack exclaimed a “Whoa there, pardner,” Fluttershy murmured an “Oh my…” Pinkie let out an “Eek!” Rarity uttered a “My word…” and Rainbow Dash exclaimed a “Dude, uncool!”

Twilight turned towards the crib and took a deep breath. “Okay, what just happened?” she asked Sunset.

Sunset rubbed the back of her head. “Sorry, Twilight… Guess coming on this trip meant dealing with some of my own personal family stuff…”

“Okay,” Twilight said with a nod. “Why didn’t you tell me anything about this?”

Sunset narrowed her eyes at Twilight. “Because it was sort of personal? I don’t need to tell you everything, Twilight!”

Twilight pointed at Starlight and Spike. “But you can tell them?! Why?! Because I’m not in the secret orphan club?!”

“… Well…” Spike began as he scratched at a cheek, “I mean, it’s not secret since you already know about it…”

“Not my point, Spike!” Twilight cried.

Sunset let out an exasperated groan and put on a mock smile. “Well, Gee Twilight, I’d love to tell you all about my personal past family life, but I’m sure it’s already messed up your perfect list as it is and Spike, Starlight, and I really should—”

“Oh, HEY!” Starlight suddenly piped up. “Look, a baby! Perhaps one or more of us should go up to it and watch as it does… er…” Starlight smiled nervously. “… Baby stuff?”

Sunset turned and narrowed her eyes at Starlight, pointed a forehoof at her own turquoise accusing orbs, then leveled the same forehoof at Starlight.

Starlight met the forehoof with a nervous grin and a gulp.

Twilight took a deep breath and trotted to the crib, a happy smile on her face. “Alright, let’s see this baby Shining was so intent on warning me about,” she said as Spike and the other mares minus Cadance trotted up to the crib to take a look.

Twilight got up to the edge and looked down at the pinkish-white sleepy-looking, smiling foal with a purple mane with a light-blue streak in it and a… okay, yes… that horn looked to be the size of a fully-grown unicorn’s horn, but the baby was so cutely wrapped up in a baby-blue blanket and… Oh! The baby was moving and… Oh… OOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooohhh…

The baby unfurled wings that stretched out several feet away from its body as it looked up at Twilight with big, sky blue eyes and cooed up at her with a happy look on its face.

All the ponies stared down at the baby, completely awestruck at what they were seeing.

For a moment, no pony said nothing. Did nothing. Nothing except stare at the giggling pony with a fully-developed bone saber on its forehead and condor wings sticking out of it.

Sunset Shimmer finally spoke up, doing a 180 to look at Cadance. “Oh my GOD, Cadance! How the heck did you get that baby out of you?!

Twilight turned to glare irately at Sunset. “Sunset!” she snapped.

“What?!” Sunset protested. “I’m just saying what every pony here is thinking!” Sunset turned towards the other ponies for confirmation. “Right?”

Mouths hanging agape, Starlight and Fluttershy merely nodded their heads up and down.

“Oh my, agreed,” Rarity said. She flinched. “That had to have hurt.”

With eyes the size of saucers, Spike stared at the baby’s massive wingspan. “Much wing… Very big… So huge… Wow!

“Holy crud!” Pinkie said. “I’m like half made of rubber and even I have no clue how she got all that baby out of her!”

Applejack shook her head. “And I thought cows had it bad when it came to givin’ birth.”

Rainbow Dash looked at Applejack accusingly. “Did you just call Cadance a cow?!”

Applejack turned and glared at Rainbow. “Excuse you racist, but some of my best friends are cows.”

Rainbow Dash sighed and held up her hooves. “Right, fair ‘nuff. And yeah, wondering how Cadance squeezed that out of her pony hole was the very first thing I thought about.”

Twilight winced. “Rainbow Dash!” she said in a chastising tone.

“What?!” Rainbow Dash motioned to the baby. “It’s impressive! Cadance deserves a medal or a trophy or something!

Pinkie let out a thoughtful hum as she rubbed at her chin with a forehoof. “Is ‘vag’ three letters or four?”

Twilight gritted her teeth. “We are not getting Cadance a trophy for giving birth, regardless of how difficult it might have been!”

Cadance frowned at Twilight. “You don’t think I deserve a trophy?”

Twilight closed her eyes and raised a forehoof to her head. “We are maybe getting Cadance a trophy for giving birth, and ‘vag’ is three letters, Pinkie.”

Pinkie smiled and gleefully pulled a marker out of her hair with a forehoof, placing it in her mouth before she put the hoof back on the ground and cheerily wrote an upside-down ‘V’ followed by an ‘A’ then a ‘G’ on it.

“SERIOUSLY!” Sunset exclaimed as she batted at one of the babies wings. The baby cooed playfully and waved it full set of legs in the direction of Sunset as Sunset turned back towards Cadance. “HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO GET HER OUT?! A PLUNGER?!”

Cadance grimaced. “NO! BUT, WHY DO YOU THINK I LOOK LIKE THIS?!” She cried as she motioned to her face and mane, highlighting the tiredness in her eyes and tangled mess of her hair.



The baby let out a short, but loud, distressed cry.

Cadance lowered her voice. “Believe me Sunset, you don’t want to know.”

Sunset shook her head. “Oh, no! No-no-no-no! I’ve let plenty of other questions about physics slip by, but I’m not going to just let it slide that the baby, oh, totally adorable by the way—”

Cadance smiled. “Thank you.”

Sunset smiled back. “You’re welcome!” Her smiled dropped along with her eyelids and forehead. “Anyhow, that baby was in you and now it’s not… How?!”

Cadance sighed. “You’re going to regret asking…”

“I’ll regret not knowing more!”

Cadance looked around as she noticed every pair of eyes was looking at her expectantly. Even Twilight seemed to be eagerly awaiting an explanation. She sighed. “Butter… the answer is ‘an entire tub of butter’. There, you happy?”

The ponies plus Spike all uttered a series of disgusted sounds with “Ew” taking the lead with the odd “Oh my,” and “Yucky!” thrown in for good measure.

Cadance rolled her eyes. “I told you~” she said in a soft sing-song tone.

Sunset shook her head. “I’m not going to say I stand corrected, but ‘ick’ though.”

The baby let out a happy burble as it began to suck on one of its forehooves.

“So… uh…” Twilight began. “Should we tackle the second issue of the baby being an alicorn?”

Starlight nodded. “It would seem to be a topic worth noting, yes…”

Rainbow Dash answered, “I’m still trying to get my mind off Cadance’s pony hole!”

There was a brief bout of accusatory silence followed by a quiet “Oh my!” from Fluttershy.

“Not like that, everypony!” Rainbow Dash cried. “Geez…”

Everyone remained silent with only Starlight not staring at Rainbow with just the hints of condemning glints in their eyes.

Rainbow’s cheeks turned slightly pink. “Okay… it’s a little like that,” Rainbow Dash admitted.

Rarity turned to Fluttershy as she tried to process everything she was seeing. “But... But... But I thought alicorn wings had to be earned by accomplishing some great, princess-worthy deed!”

Other ponies present nodded in agreement.

“Yeah,” Applejack chimed in. “How can you just be born with 'em?”

Pinkie suddenly started a coughing fit. “Cough-cough-couBUYOURTOYSgh-cough!” She smiled at everpony. “Oh, excuse me! I have a little HasbroErIMeanFrog in my throat!she said punctuating her sentence with a “Ribbit.”

Spike scratched his cheek. “You know the fact that she made it out of Cadance with well… all that—” he said as he motioned towards the baby “—is sort of princess worthy in itself… I mean.. I guess she had that stuff before she was born…” Spike glanced up at the ceiling. “Guess it’s sorta a dragon/egg sort of deal.”

Fluttershy looked over the alicorns in the room with an unsure expression. “Erm… Does the fact she was born with an alicorn make any of you mad?”

All eyes in the room suddenly fell on Sunset Shimmer.

Sunset seemed to regard the sets of peepers on her with a slight bit of surprise. “What? Why should I be mad at this?” She looked over at Cadance and smiled warmly. “If anypony deserves to win the baby lottery, it’s my dear cousin Cadance.”

Cadance eyes opened wide in surprise as her features seemed to relax slightly, adding to the melted appearance her face was already heading towards. “A’wwwwww…” she uttered, many of the other ponies present joining in.

In stark contrast, Rainbow Dash opened her mouth and pointed to it with a forehoof in a ‘gag me’ fashion.

Spike leaned up towards Starlight. “Man, she is good!” he said as he looked at Sunset.

Starlight nodded her head up and down. “I know, right?” She replied in a hushed tone. “I mean… I think she was serious, but, wow, was that fast thinking!”

Sunset’s eyes opened wide as realization flooded in. She glanced at her wings then at Cadance “Oh! So like… My wings freaked you out so much because of the baby?” she asked hopefully.

Cadance gave Sunset a sheepish smile. “Well, that’s part of it…”

Sunset frowned. “What was the other part…?”

Cadance rubbed the back of her head. “Promise you won’t get mad.”

Sunset winced. “I can’t in good conscience promise that, but I can promise I’ll let everypony here tackle me and throw me out if I lose my cool.” Sunset turned towards the other ponies in the room, “Okay, everypony?”

The other ponies and Spike all nodded.

Sunset turned to Cadance expectedly.

Cadance sighed and gave Sunset a sad smile. “Honestly, the idea of you as an alicorn was objectively terrifying to me. Still is to some extent, actually…” Cadance finished before she quickly turned her face and raised a forehoof in front of it.

“… Oh…” Sunset said in a sad tone as her ears flopped down around her head.

Cadance turned back towards Sunset in surprise. “Oh but…” Cadance took a deep breath. “Just… give me little bit to think all this over, okay? I mean… I’m really tired with the new baby and… I’m sure I’ll feel better about the alicorn change after I’ve had time to think about it.”

“Okay…” Sunset answered with a soft sob. With concerned looks on their faces, Spike and Starlight walked up to Sunset and patted her on the back.

Cadance frowned deeply as she looked at Sunset. “Sunset… I’m sorry… I didn’t want to make you cr—”

“HEeEeEeY!” Pinkie cried in a bubbly tone as she bounded in between Cadance and Sunset. Without warning, she broke into a little ditty as she hopped up and down.

Pinkie raised Sunset’s face up so she could smile widely at the sad alicorn. “There’s no need for tears!”

Pinkie turned towards Cadance who recoiled from Pinkie just a bit. Just put away your fears!”

Pinkie grabbed one of the baby’s wings, causing it to giggle. ‘Cause although big wings might snaaag!“

Applejack’s eyes shot open wide. “She’s not…”

Pinkie pulled a huge tub marked ‘butter’ out of her pink curls.Just spread butter on your VAAAAAAG!”

Rainbow Dash’s wings went ridged causing her to fall slightly before she caught herself.

Rarity raised a forehoof to her head. “She is…”

Pinkie dashed over to point at the baby’s horn. And horns can grow really huge!”

She zipped over to Cadance and pointed between her hind legs. But with lube you’ll squeeze it out your cooze!”

Pinkie zipped back to motion at the baby with both forehooves. And now an alicorn baby is here!”

She pointed at Cadance’s rump. ‘Cause Shining didn’t stick it in Cadance’s REA—”

Fluttershy’s wings suddenly popped up.

“PINKIE!” Twilight cried. “For the love of Celestia! Please stop!”

Pinkie shot a miffed frown at Twilight’s direction. “Fine! I’ll save it for the award ceremony! My point is the baby is both a unicorn and a pegasus!”

Applejack shook an angry hoof at Pinkie. “And earth pony, ya self-hating varmint!”

“Oh, right!” Pinkie said. “She’s part unicorn, part pegasus, and part earth pony! She could be super strong, a super strong flier, and have crazy baby magic!” Pinkie’s head suddenly turned 45 degrees with a snap as an eerily large smile suddenly appeared on her face and curls of her hair suddenly came loose like springs no longer held in place. “And I think I now know how we’re all going to die!” she said in a chipper tone as she quickly grinded her teeth together.

Sunset rolled her eyes as Starlight and Spike shared a shrug.

Twilight shook her head. “Pinkie, there’s no way the baby can—”

The baby sniffled as its face contorted, wrinkled its nose, and let out a sneeze accompanied by a cloud of baby-delivered germs and a massive, radiant blast of pure magic that fired straight up from the baby’s horn. The blast effortlessly destroyed and melted crystal floors and ceilings until it ended in a dark hole many floors above the massive nursery room.

All the ponies plus Spike stared up at the massive magically blasted hole in front of them. A wide-eyed pony with an orange-red coat, light green eyes, and purple mane that was still smoldering at the tips looked back down at the ponies below.

For a few moments, it was quiet again, save for the gentle burbles from the baby as it rubbed its nose.

Sunset Shimmer once again elected to be the first to speak up.




Sunset smiled giddily as she stared wide eyed at the baby, practically dancing in place. “And I want one! I don’t care how much butter it takes to get it out of me!” She turned to Twilight with a slightly mad grin on her face. “Twilight! Where’s Shining Armor? Did we prop him up outside or…”

“Oh my GOSH, Sunset Shimmer!” Twilight exclaimed. “You are NOT just using my brother so you can have an alicorn baby put in you!”

Sunset pursed her lips into a pout. “Why not?”

Twilight motioned towards Cadance. “Because he’s married! And that’s just the first thing on top of the long list I’m going to compose on this subject.”

Sunset’s eyes widened as she looked at Cadance apologetically. “Cadance… I’m so sorry… I just got a little excited.”

Cadance just nodded as she stared up at the new hole in the ceiling. “It’s… it’s okay, Sunset… I’m sure we’re all not quite sure how to react to what we just saw…”

Sunset nodded. “Sooo… Ummm… Can I borrow your husband?”

A series of surprised gasps escaped the crowd, with the exception of Rainbow Dash who snickered.

WHAT?!” Cadance cried.

“No, no, no, you’re right… Too far! Too far!” Sunset said as she waved a forehoof in front of her. “Three-way! I’m totally fine with a three-way!”

“Sunset!” Cadance cried. “We are definitely not there yet!”

Sunset’s face lit up. “So you’re saying that if I work hard to repair our relationship then you’ll let your husband put a baby in me?!” she asked excitedly.

Cadance’s face contorted in confusion. “Grrr… Arggg…” she uttered from her twisted lips.

“That wasn’t a nOoOoOoOoO~!” Sunset sang happily as she bounded up and down.

Starlight looked at Spike. “Is it… Is it always this crazy with these girls?” she asked motioned out towards the ponies around them.

Spike shook his head. “Song about an alicorn coming out of a pony’s girl parts and Sunset propositioning someone for a threeway in front of a sister of one of the potential participants? Naw… Consider the bar raised.”

Twilight collapsed on the floor. “This… this is a nightmare…”

Sunset stroked a cheek thoughtfully. “So like… How do you imagine us doing it? Do you want all three of us going at once? Maybe get a second super-baby with crazy powers for yourself? Or like… Do you just want to watch? I mean… I’m good with either…”

“Er, um…” Fluttershy uttered. “You could always take turns.”

Sunset smiled and pointed at Fluttershy. “There we go! A third option! Maybe we should brainstorm this.”

“Fluttershy!” Twilight cried. “Why are you helping?!”

Fluttershy blushed slightly. “Er… I don’t know… I guess… I guess I was hoping if I help I could maybe be brought on as an advisor or a consultant… or you know… choreographer.”

Twilight’s eyes exploded open in all directions like shimmering purple fireworks. “You want to… choreograph some bizarre attempt of Sunset to have a baby put in her by my brother while Cadance… watches or takes turns or-Why am I even talking about this?!”

“It’s okay, Twilight,” Fluttershy said with a smile. “Your input on this project is appreciated.”

Sunset smiled at Fluttershy. “I am not sure how this turned into some sort of collaboration project, but I’m somehow also not put off by it! We’ll just have to talk over the details with my co-producer here!” Sunset said as she motioned towards Cadance.

“... Yay!” Fluttershy quietly exclaimed.

Cadance stared up at the giant holes in the massive hole in the ceiling. “I… I don’t think I’ve ever needed sleep more in my life than right now.”

From the floor, Twilight let out a sigh. “I second that, and I haven’t even been up for days on end. At least things can’t get any…”

Sunset winced. “No, Twilight! Don’t say it!”

“What? Say things can’t get any worse?!”



Just like that, a second hole was suddenly in the ceiling.

“YES!” Sunset cried. She turned towards the baby. “Oh my GOSH! So much WANT!”

Pinkie’s head turned, with a sickening ‘crack’ it was now 90 degrees from its upright position. “Welp, if anypony needs me, I’m just going to spend the last moments of my life doing what I love! SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS! AH! AAAAAH! OH PRINCESS CELESTIA AND LUNA! PLEASE SAVE US! AAAAAH!

Quite surprisingly, the purple door at the other side of the room suddenly flew open as Princess Luna jumped out, hitting the floor as brooms and mops flew off in all directions. “Sister! We are summoned!” Luna cried heroically as she lifted a back leg and kicked away a metal bucket from her hoof.

“Luna, no!” Celestia cried from the closet as she lifted a bucket from over her eyes and vainly reached out with a forehoof.

“Nay, sister!” Luna replied. “I cannot sit idly by, cowering in a closet while ponies need our help!”



Luna’s eyes shot open wide as a giant beam of magic flew directly towards her. With an azure glow of her horn a glittering shield like millions of swirling, shimmering stars appeared in front of her not a moment before the massive beam of energy crashed into it, sending stars flying in all directions.


As the beam dissipated, taking Luna’s energy shield with it, Luna turned back towards the closet. “Sister? I am reconsidering my position on both closets and cowering.”

Celestia wasn’t looking at Luna, nor was she looking at the baby which almost accidently disintegrated her sister. She was instead looking at a pair of eyes… Beautiful turquoise eyes that seemed to be erupting with red veins that pulsated with pure rage as they spider-web cracked across their surroundings and blared sirens signaling the inevitability of what was about to come.

The train was coming. It was coming faster and louder than ever before and Celestia had but one trick left to keep it from effortlessly running her down.

Celestia took a deep breath.

She met Sunset’s gaze with a determined look of her own.

She pulled the bucket back down over her eyes.

Finally with a yellow glow of her horn, Celestia closed the closet door.

“Huh…” Spike uttered, “I didn’t know Princess Celestia and Luna would be here.”

“Yeah,” Starlight chimed in. “Wow is there a lot going on today.”

Sunset slowly turned towards Twilight. “Twilight, why didn’t you tell us that Celestia would be here?” she asked in a surprisingly calm, if irritated tone.

“Well… Cadance is Celestia’s adopted niece so it…” Twilight trailed off as she caught the look Sunset was giving her. Despite the fairly calm tone she had spoken in, the look in Sunset’s eyes made her previous wrathful outbursts seems like restrained commentary about unfortunate weather. Twilight was quite unsure if she had seen anypony look just so… so incredibly, incurably angry in her entire life.

“It what, Sparkle?!” Sunset said with a bit more force.

Twilight took a few steps back as panic gripped Cadance’s features.

“Shining!” Cadance cried as she dashed outside. “I have to get Shining!”

As Twilight fearfully met Sunset’s volcanically rage-filled gaze, she continued, “I guess… I guess I just thought it was obvious and… Not worth saying…?”

Cadance rushed back into the room, carrying a half-conscious Shining Armor behind her in a blue glow. She propped him up next to the baby’s crib and shook him by the shoulders with her forehooves. “Honey! Shield around us and the baby! Soundproof and energy proof! Now!”

“Sure, lovely…” Shining said with sleepy smile. “I’ll just... hnnng…” Shining closed his eyes tightly as a few errant lavender sparks shot from his horn before it went dim.

“Oh, here!” Cadance cried as she stood up on her hind legs, placed her forehooves on either side of Shining’s horn and stroked it up and down vigorously a few times before it gave a spurt of purple energy followed by a dome of shimmering purple energy the surrounded himself, Cadance, and the baby’s crib.

Twilight clenched her eyes hard, wincing like she had never winced before. “I really wish I hadn’t seen that.”

NoT wOrTh SaYiNg?!”

Twilight bit at her lower lip as she turned towards Sunset, her ears having folded around her head as the fear in her eyes increased. Sunset was no longer speaking in her regular tone, but the deeper, slightly reverberating tone of the demon she had once turned into.

Spike felt a shiver run through his body. “Oh, that’s not good…”

Starlight looked at Spike, looked at Sunset, then looked at Twilight. Swallowing as she wondered if things would actually get violent this time... Could she stop the ensuing chaos if it came to that? Would she have to pick between two friends?!

“YoU rEpEaTeD YoUr BrOtHeR’s NaMe AnD CaDaNcE’s NaMe AlMoSt A DoZeN TiMeS ToDaY, BuT nO MeNtIoN Of CeLeStIa?”

Twilight ducked to her belly and covered her head. “I’m sorry! I just didn’t think about it, alright?! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

“Princess Twilight?” Luna asked as she shot a wary eye at the orange alicorn who glowered with the wrath of an angry god down at Twilight. “Who is this alicorn?” Luna squinted as she looked at Sunset’s flank. “That… That cutie mark! That’s…”

Sunset suddenly looked up at Luna, or rather past Luna to the closet behind her.

Luna couldn’t help but shudder as Sunset’s eyes seemed to blaze right past her.

WeLl, I sUpPoSe It DoEsN’t MaTtEr AnYmOre…” Sunset uttered as she focused her blazing eyes on the closet.

“St-stop…” Luna uttered. “If you’re intent is to hurt my sis—”

“Princess Luna! Get out of the way!” Cadance called out as she stuck her head out from Shining’s barrier. Shining himself simply leaned against the crib, his eyes half-open.

“Princess Cadance?!” Luna called out. “But… my sister! Your auntie!” Luna said in a pleading tone.

“Trust me!” Cadance said. “It’s the only way.”

Luna took one more fear-filled glance at Sunset and swallowed. “If… if you are certain…” she said as she stepped to the side.

Her view unblocked, the corners of Sunset’s lips flew upwards and outwards in a supernova class demonic smile.

“... Eeyup!” Applejack said simply as she looked over the scene around her. Taking stock of her friends, she noted both Rarity and Fluttershy had determined the best course of action was to find a pillar and hide behind it. Pinkie’s head had disturbingly turned a whole 180, her crescent smile appropriately turned upside down. In stark contrast, Rainbow Dash smiled widely and expectantly, as if she was waiting for a show to start. Spike and Starlight continuously looked over Sunset and Twilight, the two apparently stuck in a conundrum over the actions they could possibly take.

Applejack’s eyes drifted over the areas of the nursery which could very well turn into multiple ground zeroes. Luna’s eyes darted back and forth between the closet and Sunset Shimmer. The baby and its parents were in a purple bubble, Cadance’s eyes going wide in panic as she grabbed her husband right before a blast silently fired off into the barrier from the crib. As Shining’s purple barrier began to wane, Cadance’s horn glowed bright blue and a second barrier appeared over the crib and the family. Twilight, mighty princess of magic who stood hoof to hoof with the strongest foes Applejack had seen, was still lying on the floor and covering her head with her forelegs. Finally she looked towards Sunset, who took a few resolute steps towards the closet, a black void emanating from her horn accompanied by electric blue sparks before said void seemed to collapse in on itself, replaced by a blazing flame that shot up into the vaulted roof of the nursery.

“I reckon Pinkie was right,” Applejack said with a nod. “We’re all gonna die here.”

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