• Member Since 26th Feb, 2013
  • offline last seen May 14th

D-APE


Me bruddahs, i know da wae.

Comments ( 10 )

Wow! Didn't expect this. Really glad to see some life in this story!

Glad to see this again, and with a rewrite it certainly looks interesting. The original story looked like it was telling a tale about more than just Twi and Rainbow gorging themselves, which is a bit of a rarity in chubby pony stories. A combination of an adventure during a progression of weight gain tickles my fancy and I hope that holds true in the new and improved version. I know I left some rather wordy comments on Twilight's gluttony and Dash's lust and what that might react to the trees that represent their weaknesses, can't wait to see how this develops.

Okay I was like halfway through this chapter and already mentally drafting my comment where I ask what actually changed but then OHHH HEY THERE IT IS EVERYTHING'S CHANGED

I reaaaaally like where this is going. Although a timeskip to next morning seems quite likely, I would absolutely love to see how stuffed they are when the tribe finally relents. Either way, super excited to see this and even more excited to see where you go with it, especially with the enhanced focus on the feeding aspect of the locals :)

As always if you need any editing or advice I'm always happy to help! Good luck and godspeed!

8984713
Thank you! When I finish the next part, I'll definitely let you look it over. I have so many people helping me now, and all of them have good advice that makes my writing so much better.

8982376
I felt the plot was getting out of hand and I had no idea where I was going with it or how it will end. I put a lot of thought into the rewrite. I now have a good idea where the story is going and how it will end, which is something I struggled with in the past.

8982322
I'm glad you're glad. =D

Awesome work. Can't wait for other chapters :yay:

But one thing bothers me. It's really specific and probably a minor thing. Twilight is 2 times heavier than Rainbow at the begining but her descriptions makes it seem likes she's much heavier than she actually is. It's really hard for me to imagine her rump being 3 times bigger than Dash's with only this difference of weight.

8993523
Thank you for your input. I think I understand what you mean.

My idea of the body types for each pony differs from the show in which they're all basically the same build. I go by their lifestyle choices and physical ability as depicted in the show, and determine their bodies from that. Being a fast flyer, Rainbow Dash is as thin as she can get without being underweight. She also has a very slight bone structure. I think I did mention she was built for speed somewhere in this chapter, but maybe that's not enough to go by. Her rump, in my minds eye, is smaller than usual because of her very low body fat.
Twilight on the hand has almost a hundred pounds on Dash. Almost all of it fat. Plus a good portion of that fat is gathered in her rear. This is why I thought her rump being three times the size was plausible.

8993782
I tottaly get the idea. It all comes down to how I picture Dash in my mind. I see her as more muscular but smooth curves. She's not skinny in my mind thus the size comparision doesn't work for me I guess. Ah, and I tend to humanize them a lot. Maybe that plays a role too

Hey there, need a hand with chapter 2 like I gave you for chapter 1?

Oh please I'm really hoping to see more of this I like the story when I first started reading it it's good to see it revised but I would love to see it continue to as well

9261272
Not only you are waiting my friend... Not only you...

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