Foxtrot
Joined 15th Jan, 2012 ·
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It's a bit strange to think of AJ as a submissive... and I think I like it!
Not entirely sure how I feel about this piece. It is definitely good, more than enough for an upvote, but as I read it, certain things about it nibbled at my mind.
First the good. The description is excellent. You used some words that are so deep in a thesaurus that one would find Hearth's Warming presents there. In addition, the sex scenes are well-written and romantically-flavored. Submissive AJ seems a bit strange, but you made it work with aplomb.
The thing I struggle with is that there seems to be conflict that never gets resolved. Rarity's dream sequence with the doubting words is fascinating, but it seems to be cleared up through the powers of sex and marriage proposal. Was expecting to hear Rarity voice concerns about what she had heard, particularly given how powerful and important dreams are in Equestria, but that never came to pass. To me, that event should have been the crux upon which the whole story would stand.
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*nods* excellent point which I can only agree with. If I had thought about the story more while I was writing it I may have come to the same conclusion. As it was I banged this out in half a day as brain therapy :3
Really sexy.
What a couple those two are.
I love this fic, both parts. I think I'm going to be coming back to this every now and then. I love how you write them both so perfectly... You really get Rarijack. You understand their personalities and dynamics.