• Member Since 15th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Dec 31st, 2020

Foxtrot


Comments ( 58 )

Marshmallow.

No Rarity.

:trixieshiftleft:

1650568
can't have everything :twilightsheepish:

That is beautiful.

Have a like. You earned it.

1650660
My eyes jizzed at the writing. I cannot express how well-written this is.

Wait, twilight is actually jsut doing all the Mane 6 stuff to get between celestia's hindquarters :twilightblush:
A nice piece of Twilestia :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

5 of 6 spikes: :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

1650924
I consider it my duty to provide you with the best possible clop reading experience

The end wasn't very satisfying. Mainly so because Twilight seemed so confused. However, it was very good, like the rest of the story ^^

loved it :heart:very beautiful :trollestia::twilightsmile:

That last sentence made me think of Nadake's "Is Immortality Really Worth It". Could use some cleaning and restructuring, but other than that, this was great.

This... feeling of not being worthy to stay by her side is something I wish more people explored. I have to say that using pre-show Twilight made for something truly interesting. We all know that Twilight is infatuated even in the show, so developing on that back when Twilight wasn't exactly socially mature is, again, interesting. Also, dispassionate Celestia is heart-breaking, I must say.

Good work!

Pretty good overall. Well done here.

Do you think you could separate the paragraphs two lines to make it easier to read? If it's no bother, that is.

I liked it. Your writing is sound and provides a great picture.

This ending...

Will there be more?

I think there should be more...

A very strange ending for something marked "Complete."

Also... quotes?

Awesome! I wonder if th-

>Marked as "Complete"

(I shouldn't ask for more,I shouldn't ask for more,I shouldn't ask for more,I shouldn't ask for more,I shouldn't ask for more,I shouldn't ask for more)

Oh...but I wanted more :(

That was excellent! I am looking forward to reading your future works.

Um, I think i just jizzed in my pants...Awkward...:rainbowderp:

1650660 I loved this would there be a sequel, or further chapters?:twilightsmile:

Celestia's flanks swelled, then relaxed. Twilight's ears discerned a distant sigh

I'm sorry, but my first thought was Celestia was taking a moment alone to pass gas. And I can't stop laughing at the imagery.

1656009

are you suggesting that the Princess of the Sun let one go? :pinkiegasp:

shocking

1655860

I hadn't thought of a sequel but I wouldn't rule one out. So maybe.

Complete. But the ending has so much potential :twilightoops:

1653489
Thank you, will read when I get home from college. :twilightsmile:

1656305 yay hopefully you choose to do one if not that's ok as well.

cheers:twilightsmile:

Interesting read.

could you please answer my this, when Celestia said she was sorry lulu, was she refering to Luna?

1658931

yes indeed. The idea was, the 1000 Year Gazetteer reminded Celestia this was the anniversary of the night she banished Nightmare Moon to the moon - a fact not generally known, because it was not something celebrated by ponykind

This actually reads like it could be the prequel to another fic I read. I just wish I could remember the name of that fic. Oh well, it's somewhere in my favourites, so I might find it later.

Surprisingly poignant for a supposed lemon. A sequel would be good; a series would be even better.

:trollestia::heart::twilightblush:
A nice Twilestia clop. One of the better one I've read,actually...

1651758 i thought it almost more satisfying because it wasn't... if that makes sense.... it lets you think about how it could go, it could either be twilight going through the cannon story line to impress Celestia,or something radically different :trixieshiftright:

I am so confused.
Twilight would have gone all Star Wars and gone to the dark side if celestia hadn't fucked her? So celestia really wasn't into her? And then she gave twilight the illusion of choice about whether or not to leave Celestia's side? So then twi decides to choose to leave to get more powerful to earn celestias love even though the princess would have made her leave anyway? so that means the entire canon storyline is twilight trying to get celestia to love her back even though celestia is essentially disgusted by her or something?
Oh god, all my brainfuck.

1730997

I know,right? here's how I Interpret it:

About the Star Wars stuff...I don't think it is a matter that she might go evil but more like all of her thoughts would be consumed by her desire,like she will lose her focus and will never get the chance to tap the potential she has if she doesn't get past that and experience other things.Also,we have to take in consideration that Celestia might have known beforehand that Twilight was the one (with the help of the other five) who was going to bring Luna back.If Twi never leaves the castle,she might never go to Ponyville to meet her friends and then we get a bad ending.So perhaps she gave Twilight the illusion of choice to make it seem like it is Twi's decision?

Just like 1652336 mentioned,Celestia seemed dispassionate,most likely because the whole Luna/Nightmare Moon issue and who knows what else,but not because she was disgusted or anything.She seems to look at Twilight's behavior as a infatuation phase (which it isn't,since Twilight clearly harbors genuine feelings for her,even after she got laid).

That's why I think this feels a little bit...incomplete? maybe that's why there are people who think that this should be expanded a little bit.I mean,it's fine as it is,but somehow it leaves room for more (imo).


Thank you for this genious piece of work

Wow... this is... like, good. Uniquely good.

Twilight ended the day without interacting with another living soul, unless you counted, as she scurried back to her desk

Bloody brilliant! You will win me over all day with clever stuff like that.

Your writing style feels like it's halfway between poetry and formal prose, and damnit if you don't pull it off! I feel things stumbled a bit during Twilight and Celestia's first conversation, but otherwise very smooth. Your descriptions during the actual clop were very original and fitting for the tone. I like this.

this was beautiful

1838317 wow thanks - it's appreciative comments like that which make it all worthwhile :)

NIce piece of Twilestia, though that ending had so much potential.

you get 8 out of 10 Rainbow Dashes:
:rainbowdetermined2::rainbowdetermined2::rainbowdetermined2::rainbowdetermined2::rainbowdetermined2::rainbowdetermined2::rainbowdetermined2::rainbowdetermined2:

I don't understand...Twilight acted like a filly in this story.....

This story is one of the few that managed to break and brighten my heart. It feels unfinished and seems to command a sequel, though. Besides that it's amazing and you are a very talented writer. I don't comment often but you deserve the praise. Good job.

I would very, very much enjoy a sequel. I'm not all for an abundance of sap, but when it comes to romance I much prefer the 'happily ever after' sort of thing. Overall, very good story, but it'd be a great story with some closure.

Amazing story BUT WHERE IS THE CLOSURE! I need a sequal pronto, with extra cheesy bits and a whole dollop of happy ever after thank you very much people!

it needs a sequel or at the very least an epilouge

This was bittersweet and lovely. Definitely a favourite. :twilightsmile:

Yes Twilight, prepare to leave.

And, once you return, you truly will have forever to be with her.

Whenever she tried to draw ponies they just turned out looking... wrong.

Story of my life. Except people, not ponies

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