Pretend

superfun

superfun #1 · Nov 3rd, 2015 · 5 · ·

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Dang that was powerful.

Jarvy Jared

Jarvy Jared #2 · Nov 4th, 2015 · 3 · ·

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An intriguing idea, if vague. But it's vague in a good way, one that makes you think. Upvote.

RainythePegasus_Archive

RainythePegasus_Archive #3 · Nov 4th, 2015 · · ·

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I can't put in words how this makes me feel. I liked the stroy though.

TwiwnB

TwiwnB #4 · Nov 4th, 2015 · · ·

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6598007

Dang that was powerful.

Thanks. I didn't know if it would work at all, so it's great for me to read it might have.

6598275

But it's vague in a good way, one that makes you think.

I wouldn't have had any real answer to give anyway. I'm fascinated by the subject, but I'm still exploring it. Glad to see you liked sharing a bit of the journey. I'm almost wondering how you interpreted the story, but I guess it's a personal experience.

6598586

I can't put in words how this makes me feel.

This is a good sign for me. I sort of designed it with the intention to bring the reader to feel happy and all warm in the end, but with sort of an emptiness inside, like a gust of cold wind.
I'm not an english speaker, so I often don't have the good words myself...

I liked the stroy though.

Very glad you did .

Fluttercheer

Fluttercheer #5 · Nov 7th, 2015 · · ·

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Wow, this fic was sad and darker than I expected..... A good lesson that fleeing from your problems is a bad idea.
And I hope Sweetie Belle doesn't really doubt their friendship because of the reason they became friends.

The end makes me a bit uneasy. Scootaloo says she wants to pretend there isn't school on the next day and then suddenly their big sisters come and tell them they can skip school tomorrow? Talk about a coincidence.
Scootaloo isn't still just pretending and this is all just happening in her mind while they are still all three together in the clubhouse, trapped in their imaginations, right?

TwiwnB

TwiwnB #6 · Nov 7th, 2015 · · ·

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6610952

Wow, this fic was sad and darker than I expected.....

I didn't know how to tag it... It might seem dark, but it's actually very beautiful and full of hope in my eyes. I discovered something while writing, which was unexpected for me.

Scootaloo isn't still just pretending and this is all just happening in her mind while they are still all three together in the clubhouse, trapped in their imaginations, right?

That was the original intention, but it changed as I was writing. To keep it simple, the original ending was calling for Applejack to say that there wasn't any school the next day, because that next day was a sunday (which would be the final nail on the coffin proving it was all just wishful thinking).
But I prefered to make a more open ending, allowing for more interpretations.

Mine is that what is described is real (the big sisters are indeed there), but the happy tone is just an illusion that not only the cutie mark crusaders, but also their big sisters are keeping alive, by which I wanted to show that everypony was having the same "problem". Which is the reason why I hint to the idea that Cheerilee "might come too", to show that even Cheerilee is living in an illusion. They are all lying to themselves, they all know they are and they are trying to help each other be happy no matter what.

This is why that ending is a bit longer and more complex than it seems to need on the surface.

And I hope Sweetie Belle doesn't really doubt their friendship because of the reason they became friends.

She is afraid it might end some day. Aren't we all? I sure am. Or I was, because many of my friendships have ended over the years, and others survive since more than a decade. It is a weird aspect of friendship that we take it that it should never end, by which is actually meant it should never "change".

In my short experience, friendship never really "end". But I don't really know. The funny thing is, I am trying to understand the concept of friendship. For example, one question is worth asking and examining very seriously: is friendship actually magic?
I thought the answer was obvious, but it seems to appear it's not...

In the end I'm just playing with ideas. And the CMCs are friends and will never cease to be.

Fluttercheer

Fluttercheer #7 · Nov 7th, 2015 · · ·

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6611214

I didn't know how to tag it... It might seem dark, but it's actually very beautiful and full of hope in my eyes.

"Sad" and "Slice of Life" should do it.

They are all lying to themselves, they all know they are and they are trying to help each other be happy no matter what.

So, basically, all of them, including Cheerilee, have a burden in their life currently, a heavy problem of which they don't know how to solve it, so they get together to have some fun and support each other to get through it (and maybe find a solution together?). That's good.
Now that I know that, I can see that the fic is more hopeful than dark (and just to not come across the wrong way: I like dark fics, big fan of horror fics even, but I just can't bear it to see Applebloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle suffer. ).
"Life can be hard sometimes, but together with friends, you can solve the hardest problems." is the lesson then, I guess. Or rather, the second lesson it holds. "Running away from your problems isn't good for you." is still a lesson that it contains too.
I'm curious:

If you would write a sequel for this fanfiction, what do you think would happen in the night they spend together?

TwiwnB

TwiwnB #8 · Nov 7th, 2015 · · ·

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"Life can be hard sometimes, but together with friends, you can solve the hardest problems." is the lesson

The only way I could translate the story into a lesson would be by quoting an old story of mine:
"We are alive".

It might seem like this lesson doesn't make sense, but apply it to every problem the characters face and you should see why it actually is a good lesson.

“My sister’s stores won’t go bankrupt.”

"We are alive."

I want to pretend Big Mac won’t really leave the farm

"We are alive."

I want to pretend I don’t exist to serve no purpose whatsoever, and that I won’t die without having accomplished anything worth remembering.

"We are alive."

I want to pretend that we would keep in contact if we were to go our separate ways miles and miles away and that we wouldn’t feel like complete strangers if we were to meet again after ten years without seeing each other.

"We are alive." (also, I can testify that you can meet an old friend after ten years without seeing each other and still be friends).

Being alive,among other things, holds the potential for tomorrow to be a brighter day.
Which also explains:

and then we could also watch the sun rise in the morning together.

If you would write a sequel for this fanfiction, what do you think would happen in the night they spend together?

I never thought of that story having a sequel... But I would be interested to know what you think would happen in a sequel.

...

The reader would probably expect for the different problems that have been given to be resolved. And the reader wouldn't accept an ending where they just accept that those problems will occur and they have to deal with the consequences and adapt to those. But having the characters go and fix everything through some weird shenanigans would be just a repeat of this story, which would defeat the purpose of making a sequel.

I would have an idea, but it's just that: an idea. So it might no be very good... and hard to make into a story...
Basically, the CMC and the big sisters would be around the fire, waiting for Cheerilee to come. The first act would be the CMC explaining their fears and the sisters comforting them (a few paragraphs at most). Then, the second act (the longest) would be about them talking about Cheerilee who is to come (as she still isn't there) and what problems she might encounter herself, from the rumors they have heard, and how they could help her overcome those problems. Then, on the third act, the sun is rising, pale and cold (which implies hints throughout the story that it's automn or winter or something), and as the six ponies are enjoying the dawn of the new day, a pony comes and announces to them that Cheerilee is never going to come anymore. Ever.
[edit: it doesn't work, because people want a happy ending and I want a happy ending...]

MaggotKing556