There Something Wriggles

Rainbow Dash must help Fluttershy prove to Mayor Mare that something undiscovered will impede a new development project, and help everypony with the consequences of this discovery.

Written with help from the "Four Hooves and a Pen" writing consortium.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 9 )

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Cross Lament

Cross Lament #1 · Nov 4th, 2015 · · ·

I was half-expecting Rainbow to have been infected with Foogleitis (or would that be Foogleiasis?) or something.

Slate Sadpony

Slate Sadpony #2 · Nov 5th, 2015 · · ·

6599173

Her rainbow hair gives her natural immunity.

Cross Lament

Cross Lament #3 · Nov 5th, 2015 · · ·

6601679 Oh my Celestia HER MANE IS FOOGLES

Slate Sadpony

Slate Sadpony #4 · Nov 5th, 2015 · 1 · ·

6601686

Now you know the source of her power!

Draco Dei

Draco Dei #5 · Nov 9th, 2015 · · ·

The ending was... not very literary, but I LIKE that. It felt more realistic, and that was a nice change of pace. More specifically, after talking to Twilight Rainbow Dash was still the viewpoint character, but didn't really accomplish anything towards resolving the over-arching issues, yet still had problems and such.

Slate Sadpony

Slate Sadpony #6 · Nov 9th, 2015 · · ·

6616228

Rainbow Dash isn't very good at solving problems that don't involve physical force, so once she has to pass the baton to Twilight, she can't do much. From her perception, things just get fixed after Purple Smart steps in. She isn't too interested in the why or how, only the desired result.

Sure, I could have passed things to Twilight and seen it from her perspective, but then why not write the whole story from her perspective? Rainbow Dash comes plowing in rambling about "foogles" and now it's time to princess things up. That would be a totally different story, and it wasn't the one I wanted to write.

Also it helps me dodge certain issues. If Twily was in charge, I'd need to explain what the foogles are, how they live, how they eat, why they scream when they get wet, why they didn't drown, and how come Ponyville is sitting on a huge cache of them without anypony knowing. I've found that, when inventing new things, it's best to give yourself a lot of room and be ambiguous. It enables the reader to fill in their own gaps and also ensures you don't trip over your own feet by creating something that breaks your universe (something modern TV and movie writers do on an epidemic level).

Every writer tries to make their endings "literary" by making them as big as possible. I tried that, but never succeeded. I found the only ending I can actually write are those that play out like real life - things never "end," they just change state. Ponyville must accept being without magic for a few days, and must account for the foogles in their infrastructure plans. The foogle problem doesn't end, it is just "resolved." I know it's silly to use terms like "realistic" or "natural" when it comes to magical cartoon horses, but big endings always feel unnatural and unrealistic to me, because that's just not how things play out in my own life.

And isn't that what draws us to the technicolor friendship equines, that we see ourselves in them?

Draco Dei

Draco Dei #7 · Nov 9th, 2015 · · ·

Hay, I said I liked it for exactly the "realism" reasons you mentioned, and I tend to write with something like that myself.

In my case, rather than avoid it, I jump whole-heartedly into complex underpinnings of technical details because I'm most like Twilight (but without the leadership and organizational skills, just the smarts). I should mention that this is a difference it type of talent, rather than level of talent.

In addition someone once complained to me that I had no drama in one of my stories because the obvious type of drama was shut down because Twilight had the physical situation well in-hoof in and she and several others of the Mane Six were taking care of the psychological front. It isn't until later in the story that things actually start to go badly after the initial inciting incident, but that is okay to me because "realism" means that having a major threat fully contained, while a minor side-effect is where the uncertainty lies is perfectly plausible. The Two Deaths of Fluttershy if you are interested.

Spoiler for my above story:Oh, and the quarantine bubble IS going to fail at one point, but neither the physical/arcane reason, nor the psychological/motivational reason have been introduced yet.

Slate Sadpony