• Member Since 4th Aug, 2013
  • offline last seen May 5th, 2019

Slate Sadpony


Male earth pony. Exceptionally weird.

E

Derpy is a dedicated mail mare, albeit a rather untalented one. She's always dropping and breaking the packages entrusted to her. Infuriated, her boss gives her an ultimatum: one more mistake and she's fired. When she suffers a mid-air collision and opens the package to find it is filled with broken plates, her heart shatters as well. Is Derpy really the broken, useless mare that her boss thinks she is?

Featured on EQD:
http://www.equestriadaily.com/2013/10/story-cracked-beauty.html

Chapters (1)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 115 )

There are very few fics I've read that I would say truly heartwarming with a beautiful message to them.

This is one of those, I love how you wrote this.

:pinkiesmile::pinkiesmile::pinkiesmile::pinkiesmile::pinkiesmile: / 5

3248067

I'm glad you enjoyed it so much!

You know, I can relate to this. I'm always picked on for being a klutz and slow at things. Excellent moral of the story..Loved it.

:heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:/5

3248124

Thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked it! :)

Derpy is so adorable :derpytongue2: nice to see a story that does some good for her. she tries so hard and loves Dinky so much but can't see straight for anything

3248189

I'm glad I managed to bring out her adorableness in this fic :)

And here's that story I had hoped to finally read. Really, really touching. I love the moral od the story, too. Fits perfectly for Derpy.

3248252

Glad you liked it so much. Thank you for your help in the outlining!

This… this story tugs at so many feels… I tip my hat to you, sir. Also, have a 'stache of Awesome. :moustache:

3248275

I'm glad you like how it came out. Thanks for your help in the outlining!

3248267
Anytime, my friend. I might feature this story in a blog post.

Yeah, I'm definitely doing it. :yay:

3248282

I would like that very much :)

This is one of the most motivational things I have ever read. It is good to see some stories on here that aren't all gloom and doom. It is refreshing.

Thanks

Not only did I feature it, I gave my own little review of it. :raritywink:
It also has the honor of being the first story I've ever reviewed. Have a nice day! Here is the post:

Nothing's Too Broken To Be Beautiful

3248358

Glad you liked it.

This could be an episode on the show, if Hasbro had the balls to do it.

3248490

You spoil me :) Thanks!

3248858

Ha! Long gone are the days of Sgt. Slaughter smashing the chests of his enemies. They can't even say derpy these days. I don't know if that is sad on their part or sad on society's part.

Oh, sweet s**t! Slate wrote a thing and I LOOKED AT IT!! *swan-dives off a bridge*

I have mixed feelings on how this turned out. The premise itself, as I recall, was touching as it was. You foreshadowed that feel beautifully from the very beginning. Though not what I'm used to, I found myself with a tilted head and a curled lip at Derpy's persona. As a background pony, Derpy was always seen as... well, a big grey derp. Fanfics far and wide have capitalized on that without mercy. You've completely destroyed that with this fic. And I like it.

We got a deeper look at how someone with strabismus may actually perceive the world, and the backstory that strung along made me hiss through my teeth. I applaud you for that. And once again, you've managed to make OC's as alive and relatable as they should be. I think my favorite--despite the brevity--was Heavy Lift. Only because his character and life were painted with just two flippin' paragraphs. And he pulled off the 'I'm the asshole who has your job cracking beneath my foot, and there's not a god damn thing you can do about it' with such power and authority, I couldn't NOT like him. That he even got a tear from Derpy, only made me like him more, because it made me curse under breath.

Best kind of characters.

Pretty Pieces was okay, though I had a strange feeling you mashed Applejack and Rarity into one pony. What with her honesty, pointing out things Derpy much rather liked to hide (like crying), and her generosity, inviting her to her home, cleaning her wounds, and ultimately giving her a gift free of charge. Let's not forget the 'Darn tootin'!' and making beautiful things for the Canterlot elite. Though Pretty Pieces was the very backbone of the main character's conflict resolution, she was just... eh. Perhaps the only interesting thing about her was the glass-eye. That nearly propelled my own eyes from their socket. But maybe a small backstory--nothing too extravagant--would put Pretty Pieces in a better light.

Or would maybe stop me from thinking she's the bastard love-child of Applejack and Rarity.

Now... Here's my problem with it.

It was so. Damn. Info-dumpy. While I respect and encourage your attempts to FULLY explain Derpy's condition and how she combats it, most of it was largely unnecessary. I couldn't tell if you were going for impact, or if you were trying to fulfill a word-count. Either way, it distracted from her character WAY more than it should have. I felt no dread or anticipation for the coming f**k-up, safe for when it was actually happening. Instead, I went through a textbook lesson on depth perception.

Also, and this one's important, there were a ton of run-on sentences. Throughout the body of the story, I had to double-take more than a few sentences. Not only did that distract from the issue at hand, but also from the writing itself. Run-on sentences are too skim-worthy, and I can't stand them, personally. A shorter sentence here, and a comma there, always solves this problem, as you well know.

Overall, I liked this tale, but I wasn't as impacted as I was from your other fics. The resolution was good, touching even, but it just felt empty. This is slightly cushioned by Heavy Lift being replaced by the most badass hippy in the universe. I like what you did there.

6 out of 10. An Average read.

Craine...

3249847

It appears I have still not driven out the cursed info dumps. And even worse, run-on sentences! Celestia damn it all to the moon!

I'll just have to keep trying. Maybe a subsequent "updated" version of this some day. Maybe just trying to not repeat my biggest mistake come the next one.

Sorry, it just really pisses me off that I keep making the same mistake. I'm also disheartened that this is the story that disappointed you. It makes me feel like I "lost" something during my carpal tunnel.

Oh and Heavy Lifter is, pretty much, all of the terrible bosses I've ever had, while Sorted Out is a guy I knew who was the manager of a suicide prevention hotline.

3249926 Join the club :ajbemused:

3249974

To quote Groucho:

" I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT PEOPLE LIKE ME AS A MEMBER"

Well Derpy got 2 new friends, that's a nice ending. I haven't really seen any mosaics in a long time, almost forgot what they were.

3251167

It's a dying art form it seems. But I imagine in the computer-less world of Equestria, old art forms persist.

3251414
I'm actually wondering how a mosaic looks in person myself. I bet they're amazing.

bravo, good chap. hit me right in the feels. as Derpy is my favorite pony, I decided to read this one immediately upon seeing it reviewed so highly by Salnalus. glad I did.

3251735

I'm glad you liked it!

3252453
That is beautiful. :raritystarry:

3251735
You actually read my review?
Glad to know my blog posts aren't totally worthless. :twilightsheepish:

It is not often that I favorite a story because it is mine. I see so many people struggling with society, with their own minds, with their bodies, and every day I am in awe of their accomplishments, of their inspiration and drive. I count myself lucky to have so many "broken" friends, because without them, my own difficulties would be worse, and my talents would be useless. This is my story, and I thank you for writing it. :heart:

3256858

I'm confused. I thought I came up with this independently.

Do you mean that this story accurately describes the way you feel, or your own life experiences?

3257358

Please forgive my use of the language. I had similar experiences, and I feel similarly.

3260596

That makes WAY more sense! :twilightsmile:

I loved this story because of how derpy gets put into a new perspective. instead of being looked at as an adorable klutz, she is portrayed as a pony who is struggling because of her mistakes. the pony she delivered it to showed her that anything can be beautiful, a message that derpy rarely, if not never, gets

3260898

I wanted to make Derpy a sympathetic character that you couldn't help but love.

I'm glad you feel I have succeeded.

Derpy knew from the address that he name was “Pretty Pieces,” but other than that, she knew nothing about this mysterious mare.

Just something minor, the 'he' should be 'her'.

I've gotta say, I was cringing when she had her crash with Gilda. And Heavy Lifter still firing her? Fuck, lemme introduce him to my friend, Broken Teeth. I've worked with bosses like that IRL, thankfully just alongside and never under one, but they are the heights of arrogance. Glad she got a better job, though!

This was a very nice mixture of tense moments with bitter sweet ones. While I normally hate these NaPoWriMo one-shots ('omg guys go away leave it to the real authors god........................................'), the ones you've done are goddamn adorable or utterly moving. I look forward to future works, and I shall credit you I end up taking advantage of the fic idea I just had form in my head from reading this.

3295036

Fixed the typo, sorry about that!

I'm glad you like this so much.

No need to credit me with anything unless you just want to.

3249847

You might wanna re-read this. Your biggest complaint was all the info dumps, and they have been trimmed and eliminated to try and get this story on EQD. So you will probably enjoy it more now.

Comment posted by Craine deleted Oct 18th, 2013
Comment posted by Slate Sadpony deleted Oct 18th, 2013
Comment posted by Craine deleted Oct 18th, 2013

Wow wat a story, shorter than most ive read, but wow feels I had them

I just saw this story on EQD and thought it sounded nice. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I have strabismus myself (along with a whole bunch of other vision impairments) so I like it when Derpy's impairment is described properly. Your descriptions of what's it's like to see that way may not have been entirely accurate, but you did a really good job I think. Overall, a very beautiful story.:twilightsmile:

It's a nice read and the conclusion is super sweet.
Dat Shining Armour in the sorting job.:rainbowwild:
Bet he likes corndogs too.

3371308

I like to keep stuff short and to the point.

Glad you liked it!

3371763

I really try to sit down and do the research when writing. Everything has to be as accurate as I can make it.

Glad you enjoyed the story!

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!