• Member Since 21st May, 2012
  • offline last seen Apr 15th, 2021

Vinyls_Account


T

Everything seamed peaceful, nothing was wrong. Then, everything was dead or dying around them. What will Twilight and the others do to solve this? The real question is.... what can they do?

Chapters (12)
Comments ( 71 )

Alright, so here are my comments:

1. So far, good plot. Interesting, but when or how did the outbreak begin?? :rainbowhuh:
Does nopony know? Because it doesn't explain in the beginning... Just curious. :twilightblush:
2. There are a LOT of spelling errors.
They're really simple little easy ones, but I'm just pointing it out :derpytongue2:
3. What ever happened to everypony else? :twilightoops:
Did they all get eaten or something?
Like what about Sweetie Belle, or Apple Bloom... or even Scootaloo? :applecry:
Are they all dead??

Now remember-- I like the story. It's good.
I have faved it and I will follow it-- I want to know where it's gonna go.
This is constructive criticism, and I'm not hating.

~Rosalynn~:yay:

A tip, from one author to another. Remove the author's notes from the description. It kills my urge to read this.

Wow... Diamond Dogs turned into monsters... how did THAT happen? what's more... what happened to the rest of Equestria? Why aren't the princesses doing anything?!

685205 im going to start out by saying, i have no idea what im going to do with this, except for a couple of select points in the story, so please dont get disappointed if i give a lacking answer

1: if i can get the right character in the story, i will explain the outbreak, but it wont be till near the end of the story

2: i know :twilightblush: sorry about that, i'm hopefully getting a proofreader soon so it might soon change

3: at first i was thinking everybody is dead, but lately i was thinking maybe ill bring another character in to possibly explain a couple things in the story... no promises though

And thank you for your read/comment/fav! :pinkiehappy: it really does help me personally to continue righting, and i get to know what my audience likes :pinkiehappy: :pinkiehappy: :pinkiehappy: :pinkiehappy: <---sorry

685534 will do thank you

685734 there not diamond dogs :rainbowlaugh: i like the connection though and your questions will be answered in about 5 or so chapters, hope that doesn't disappoint you :twilightsheepish:

*sniff*
I was shouted out to :pinkiesad2:
I'D LIKE TO THANK ALL THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE MADE THIS POSSIBLE.
My mom, my dad, and especially... ME!
That's ri---
I mean... :twilightblush:
Poor Dashie :fluttershysad:
Her bestfriend died and she feels like she's weak now. :applecry:
Anyway, same thing as last time I guess.
still favorited, and waiting for a new chapter :derpytongue2:

~Rosalynn~ :yay:

I'd suggest removing those edit notes and smoothing the linebreak you have there. Also, while this is decent it seems a bit shallow in terms of length. I know that may be personal preference, but regardless. If you CAN make it longer within reason, then don't hesitate to do so.

A very nice read. One of the BEST Stories i have ever read

693568 you have done something to me that i have never done on FIMFiction before, and never planned on... and that was lol, thank you :rainbowlaugh:

(Do not read next paragraph if you do not want future character spoilers)

and just to let you know, i have decided to bring a another character in, Apple Bloom to be exact.

and there probs wont be one till the weekend, I like to write at the dead of night when everybody is asleep and i can put on music without headphones on, but that also means i will write 2 chapters in a weekend :twilightsheepish:

and thank you for your support :pinkiehappy:

694526 Really? :rainbowhuh: I usually get turned off by long chapters, and I thought it was like this with everybody else 2, I thought my latest chapter verging on 2000 words was a bit much, but if you say longer, I guess I could give it a try :pinkiecrazy:

695215 Thanks :pinkiehappy: I don't know if i can agree with being one of the best, far from it, but I do really love your support, it really does help me!

696484
WOOHOO! :pinkiehappy:
I made someone laugh! :rainbowkiss:
I am... so happy.. *sniff* :pinkiesad2:
*head bobbing* YEAAAHHH :moustache:
and I read on.
And ooooh.. Now Rosalynn's curious! :D

~Rosalynn~:yay:

697190 you confused me so much right there *laughing thoug the entire sentence* :rainbowlaugh: :rainbowhuh: those 2 faces combined is my reaction

Little bit of a throw at the beginning there with the POV shift, but good. Poor Applebloom gone just like that... curse those canine worms!

Awesome chapter! Loved the POV at the beginning. I feel really bad though for RD and AJ since they both lost their sister. Also Thanks for the shout out.

736822 uh... Sorry throw? Oh and apple bloom is not dead quite yet, she's still badly clinging there
And thank you :pinkiehappy:

738317 no, thank YOU for the fav, it's the least I can do for that!

736822 sorry, barely, not badly. That was my iPod. :ajbemused:

Thanks for the shout out :pinkiehappy:

743418 np, least I could do for the fav =D

Any time :twilightblush: looking forward to more too! :yay:

great work. the story is so great. not the best when it comes to gramar, but you know how to write!

a bit of criticism: why do you loose that strange undescribable feeling you got from reading the first chapters. please use more emotions and less actions to describe what is happening. that is what got me hooked on the story :pinkiehappy:

761995 Than you!!!! your support really means a lot to me! I can understand how the grammar is an issue, but later in the story, I get a proofreader :pinkiehappy: not only does my grammar and spelling get better, he throws in ideas that make the story more epic! :pinkiecrazy:

I understand what you mean about using emotions, but I figured for the first couple of chapters, the only emotions were adrenaline, anger, and sadness. If that is what you are looking for however, There is a couple of chapter coming up that I think you will love :raritywink:

762949
kind of. i found the first chapter to be best. twilight appears sad for fluttershy :fluttercry:
the combination of those things you mentioned actually results in the story appearing more lifelike. you might want to replace anger with an extreme loyalty. after RD stops being mad at twilight of course :pinkiesad2:

and please. don't let Celestia or Luna die. that one would be to predictable. :eeyup:
i am really looking forward to read more of the story :pinkiehappy:762949>>762949

763281 hmm... Extreme loyalty... I like that, and it's perfect, because RD literally just stop hating twilight, so I think I will we that. Thank you! :pinkiehappy:

I'm sorry, I can't promise that I won't,
:fluttercry: think about it, would Things really be this bad if they were both alive?

Again I'm sorry, I'm not just trying to brush your opinion off without any thought, I really respect it, and hope you keep giving more coming up, so please don't mistake me for someone who doesn't care about my audience, because I love you :pinkiesad2:

765097
thanks :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

what i tought about with the princesses was that Don't kill them at once/have them killed before they reach canterlot!
it can be bad without a dead princes. we all remember the royal wedding. someone decided to fail miserabely :trollestia:
besides, as twilight said, her with the element of magic could be more powerfull that celsestia. how wouldn't AJ, RD, pinkie, rarity and twilight be :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

your choice :pinkiehappy: i just want you to write an awesome story :yay:

765226 thank you :pinkiesad2: and please never forget that i love your comments no matter what it is! :pinkiehappy:

765262

no matter what? :rainbowhuh: ok, let's not put that one to the test :rainbowlaugh:

when wil the next chapters be out? i want MOAR:raritycry:
but hey, you decide :raritywink:

765316 thank you for that... and actually i'm writing it now! :pinkiehappy: but I still need to run it through my proof reader, so late tomorrow'ish

:pinkiegasp: Wow thank's for the shout out mean's a lot :rainbowkiss:

766938 not a problem, least i can do for the fav or watch whaever u did, lol to lazy to check

Whoa another shout out Again thank's :pinkiehappy:
Stories really good can't wait till next chapter

770690 Thanks! and I really do not keep track of the shout outs, if i get a follower or a fav and its resent i throw it in, i think i may have some repeats to lol

As I'm sure I've said millions of times, this is one of the best stories I have ever read...Can't wait for the next chapter...and thanks for the shoutout.

770833 You must not have read many stories than :twilightblush: it can't be that good, its only my second fan fic. And not a problem! least I could do for the fav or follow (to lazy to check).

but do u think i went a little over bored with Pinkamina? She almost seems to much of a crazy to me

770886 I've read alot of stories on here, and I do mean what I said. Personally I like how crazy Pinkamina is...(not to mention the fact that my own OC is crazier than she is and I'm a little crazy myself) but so far she seems alright. Honestly I would have done the same thing she did to Rarity...tying her up I mean to get her to shut up about making clothes...

770919 If you say so, :twilightblush: honestly though, the needs to be better writers out there than me, and a lot of them, i'm sure there are hundreds of better fic than this, just need to look harder i guess :derpytongue2:

Ha guess u dont like Rarity to much lol she can get annoying, but all RD talks about is being cool, MAKE ME MAD:flutterrage:

Well...due to the fact my fav pony is RD I would say I disagree but unfortunantly her character is a bit cocky...ok a lot cocky at most times. Anyway I'm sure there are other writers out there, but right now this story is more interesting then looking around to find one.

in my opinion, RD is over rated, along with Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy, if you ask me, AJ is best pony! but whatever floats ur boat, And I guess i can't argue with that logic lol, also thank you for your support, it does mean a lot to me! :pinkiehappy: 771185

Define "over rated" because I don't think I define it the same. I define over rated as a person, or in this case pony, who doesn't really follow a mainstream and rather beats there own path into an unknown landscape. And Your welcome :pinkiehappy:

let me see if i get things straight... Pinkie wave been in pinkiemena shape for a while bineg just sad and depressed. Now she flips completely. to use AJ's phraze: didn't see that one coming :applejackconfused:
it suprised me, but on the same time i should have seen it coming. damn great work there with :pinkiecrazy:
i also likes how RD appears to change in the newest chapter. she really earned her element of loyalty

seriously, you did not need to mention me. all i want is you to make it the story you wanted it to be. :twilightsmile:
i just gave you a bit of support :rainbowlaugh:

771413 the way i'm saying it is that something has a fan base than is too large than it deserves, for example Tenacious D, or Star Wars,

Ah...well then obviously I would agree with your previous statement of over ratedness. or whatever...

771420 support is the perfect reason to mention you! My audience is the only reason why i'm writing this! without you guys this would NOT exist! :pinkiehappy:

To be complete;y honest, this idea came right when i was writing this chapter, I don't ever plan anything out, I just let my hands go, and what you see is what you get, I have a feeling however that this would be a lot worse if i did plan things out, like RD recovering like that would not be there, they would never have gone to Rarity's shop, and random shit like that, the story would be less dragged out however :rainbowderp: and i'm glad RD came out as you liked, I think she's a better pony in general as well

The story I want it to be is a story that can connect with my audience, but at the same time be fucking epic, and my own, so the only way I can do that is to open up to you guys and take you in as my equals (wat) so please never think that i don't need your support or help!

771436 :pinkiehappy:

Wanna know something funny about me? I'm going into tenth grade when school starts, last year I took an English PSAT and scored a 1283. Due to the I should be in a Eleventh grade honors english class, I can write just about any story if I can do it on my time. Although I write stories and poems, the thing I'm best at is Rping. Infact my father wanted to copy one of my Rps to get published. Unfortunantly, the first story I posted was one I didn't mean to, so the general expectations of me from this site are obviously lowered. If any one were to read my Rp's then they would understand why I can't really do a story by myself, I kinda need someone to keep me on the right track, I get distracted very easily.

I look at everyone as an equal since I know my own limits. Biggest one is athletics...I'm large...yet I can out run alot of people, but I can't do an athletic sport without dying in the end, or craving an Rp or to write.

Also, I never plan things out either. I just allow my hands to roam across the key board and type what they want. Unfortunenatly I end up tying grimdarks that are about fourty pages long within a good twelve hours. Seems the dark side of my brain prefers to be typed.

And furthermore, I still stand by my previous statement on how I think of this story. It IS one of the best I have read (My friends get mad, 'cause I am normally reading this rather than listening to them). Also, since obviously you dont' really know my group, I have a small group of six friends, which ,obviously to me and a few others, we took to a different level. We found out which element we represent. It would be interesting if I were honesty but I'm generosity...this is not me giving a generous feedback, this is me being truthful.

Anyway, keep up the good work on the story.

771647 you write for the audience, that is a motivation...
just don't forget why you started writing. when you forget that, and write what everyone want is the time you should consider putting down the pen. never forget that. a story should firstly be written by yourself for yourself and then for the audience. if not, you might risk loosing what makes your story so great :twilightsmile:

now please, take the story where YOU want it. if we inspire you that is good, if we sugest something you don't want to do then don't do it :flutterrage:

Death leaves a heartache
no one can heal
Love leaves a memory
no one can steal...

Friggin... Cupcakes... :pinkiecrazy:
I LOVE IT
>:3 I love Pinkamina.
When I showed my cousin "Party of One" yesterday
and showed him how Pinkie goes crazy, then he watched the rest
and at the end he said that he likes Pinkamina better than Pinkie Pie :rainbowlaugh:
Lol yeah

can't wait for more

~Rosalynn~:yay:

771953 all that first paragraph and the only thing i write to it is "Cool i'll check your shit out then!"

I know what you mean by everybody is equal, I'm 6'2, I have a huge body, but i suck balls at hockey, and even worse at football, but i am amazing at basketball lol.

ha... dark sides...

wow I never thought my story would ever go before any friend, you are actually convincing me that its good :twilightblush: also JELLY i have one other brony friend, all my other friends are brony haters lol, there chill when i'm not being a brony though. And again, thank you don't stop giving opinions and shit like that :pinkiehappy:

772099 Oh I know when to say no to someone, i think its happened once in the comments, and i kinda gave a little rage to my proof reader who thought it would be a good idea to end the story off that it was Twilight dream lol :twilightblush: but what im saying is, I want this story to be just as much of my audiences, as it is mine, that is also why i do the shout outs :pinkiehappy:

774393 you said it best lol yeah and pinkamina is pretty awesome.

776309 I'm 5'9" The only thing I'm good at is football...defense or something.

what hapened to the update? i got a maile 15h back about the story being updated, but the newest chapter is from the 19th of june :rainbowhuh:
did you remove it? if so: i WANT IT NOW:raritycry:

seriously, i can't wait to read it :pinkiehappy:

801899 i'm sorry, i did upload it, :twilightsheepish: BUT it was fucking terrible, like really really bad, i wrote it at 3 am and... just fuck it was bad, i'm re writing it completely, i'll finish it off tonight than run it through my proof reader again, again sorry but I just needed to do this for all of us :twilightblush:

805166

see that one. better to wait a few days than uploading something that is not good enough :twilightsmile:
keep writing :pinkiehappy:

EDIT: seriously, this is annoying. another warning about an update. what the buck? the chapter can't be that bad!

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