He Didn't Love Me
written by Malice In Wonderland
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Looks sad.
Woah man... This was dark...
Thats all? We don't get to know if Big Mac was lieing or not?
6675264
Not what you meant for what?
Good job on making Fluttershy completely out of character just for the sake of getting out a dark story. Seriously, Why?
6675550
Why read it and post a rude comment if you didn't like it?
6675572 Ok, sorry for coming off as a bit rude, but i'm also kinda pointing out your most obvious flaw here. Fluttershy is out of character
6675550
Also, did you not see the 'Alternate Universe' tag. She's not exactly the same.
6675581
It's not a flaw, it's an alternate universe, where everything is slightly different from the original. She's not out of character.
6675550 May I point out, that Rainbow Factory and Cupcakes did a similar thing. Its an Alternate Universe. Rainbow Dash wouldn't do anything like that to Scootaloo. And Pinkie wouldn't murder Rainbow Dash. Shut the hell up, it is fan fiction. Look at a shit load of the grimdark fanfictions. They aren't meant to be their own fucking character, it is for the sake of them being a dark character.
6683896
Awww, thank you! I'm so glad you liked the story. And thanks for the follow!
6703849
Sorry for this EXTREMELY late response, I just reread this and thought I should respond.
I guess the reason I didn't do so many descriptions is because I've been told when I describe things that I go way too far into detail, so I try to do it less, but then I end up hardly doing it at all.
I also don't really care how people feel about the story. I just had the idea for the ending, and I felt like I should add some story to the beginning before all the....... other stuff (For lack of a better word) happened. I just felt really inspired to write the ending. It would have been short. I just didn't want it to be less than 2,000 words. For me, when I'm trying, that's kind of pathetic. Not that I'm saying that about other people, I just feel that, personally, I could do better.
Anyway, thank you for the advice.
6675309 nevermind
I like these dark stories...and don't ask me why. I was smiling like a maniac during class while reading this for some insane reason. But you earned a follow from me anyways.
6675309
sorry about that I kind of like the story.