• Member Since 15th Aug, 2013
  • offline last seen April 13th

Peachy Moon


A Georgian (U.S.) Brony. Not much to say, habitually depressed, I try to be nice to all.

Comments ( 14 )

Waiting to see how Twilight's buddies take this allll the wrong way. Bonus points if Blitz starts pre-emptively hitting on her.

"Soooo.... filly, huh? Are you gonna be a hot filly?"

"Blitz! Too soon!"

5832198 Sadly I must preemptively disappoint. Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Applejack (F), Butterscotch, and Bubble Berry are the Mane6 for this verse.

5833236
Hey, with half the Dashes out there, it still fits....

Tracking!

I like how the story starts, and not badly written, either.
But it really needs some more chapters.

Are you planning to continue with it?

I wonder what you have in store? Coming out (to all the rest of the ponies)? Social issues? Quick transformation, or slow one, maybe with hormones - or something in between, like giving Twilight ovaries to produce estrogen but not a female body so she still needs to transition in to it?

You appear to describe the characters in anthropomorphic form, though i'm wondering what kind of mix of pony and human you see when you write your story (sample pics, maybe, to give an idea)?

5910040 I'm planning on continuing the story, I'm just slow. As for everything else I'm working on how I want to handle it.

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Mixed gender main six? I think this is the first time I'm seeing an even spli, normally it's just Twlight/Dusk whom is the guy.
This had to make the AJ-Rarity sleepover a little awkward, especially if Twi had to keep herself from showing up and being overly feminine. Unless you are not at that point in the timeline yet and it comes up after Twi stops hiding.
Could make for some good story there, the three trying to have a "girl's night" with two very different takes on what it means to be female and one still coming to terms on what being female means to them.

And after typing all that I remember that "Lesson Zero" got checked but I don't remember if that was before or after the storm sleepover, which I can't remember the episode title for.
I've always got to look at a list to remember names and order but for a handful of them.

Anyways, looking forward to more.
My only criticism so far is that this chapter seems a bit short. Twi could spend a bit more time talking out her feelings with Solaris. I do like that he acceptes it right away and still stumbles a bit, but I feel that Twilight needs to express and explain herself a bit more.
Not a bad first chapter but I feel that you can make it a better one with a bit more characterization.

6332470 Well I'm a middling author at best, and also this started as a NSFW prompt for the TwiLestia Prompt Collab, it kinda wears its born origins on its sleeve. I'm working on plotting it all out still, also its not technically an even split between genders. Also, as I plan on revealing in the next chapter, Rarity knows about Twilight, and is the source of tailored clothes for her. They did have the sleepover, but Twi was in full geek mode, that tends to completely shut down her sexuality making it a none issue.

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Still, that sleepover would have been two girls and a (physically) guy, I can just see the sorts of things that primer book would suggest for that sort of party.
Not overly sexy but probably still a bit award for all of them.

And the genders are split evenly on the physical side, three males three females. You also split the races evenly on the gender lines as well, one on each.
Once Dusk becomes Twilight full time that changes though, but until then this is the first instance of this level of gender splitting I've seen.

Every author starts off somewhere and the only way to get better is to keep practicing and learn from mistakes. And to learn what criticism to listen to and which to ignore.
But when you have people asking you for more of something you know you got at least a bit of it right.

6335487 Well, I'm working on it all. gotta get my life in order first

Are you ever going to finish this one? I'd be very interested to see where it goes. :twilightsmile:

this is a really nice piece of work, but why would shr no longer be Solaris' student after coming out as a trans mare? /genq

I have read this chapter and look forward to the next one. I just hope that Twilight frees herself a little when she tells her friends and doesn't judge her.

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