- Member Since 1st Feb, 2015
- offline last seen Apr 7th, 2020
CoastBrumby
I am an aspiring author and bookstore owner living in NSW Australia.
CoastBrumby
Joined 1st Feb, 2015 ·
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What 5817807 said. It's an interesting premise, but... dear god, the dialogue is absolutely painful to slog through. It sounds like a heart-to-heart talk beween a bunch of Vulcans; the only thing missing is the raised eyebrow and the flat reply of "most illogical" to each other's statements.
5818456
Twilight is speaking like she is in an attempt to keep control. The others are mirroring her speech patterns in attempt to not distress her.
Live long and prosper.
Ah, the drugs she needs...
6003897 Funny stuff. Twilight has great insurance, so she doesn't even know about the generic option.
5821703 Well, if you're going to write it that way, then make the reason clear in the actual story. As it is right now, this story, in terms of your writing ability, is one of the worst I've ever read, although the concept itself could be good if it had been written by someone with more knowledge of how to write.
6052592
I just read the story again. It needs a little editing, but it's not so bad. I know my prose is not to every reader's taste, but I don't understand the distress it has caused.
If you think you can do a better job with the concept, write a story about it. I am not the first to explore the issue of mental illness in Equestria. I am not even the first to write about Twilight Sparkle having OCD.
6054606 A little editing? That's a huge understatement. You're in denial about the quality of your work.
I know you're not the first because I've read stories about it that were actually good.
6054678 Why are you being so critical and mean? What do you get out of this? No one makes you read my work.
It feels like you are trying to lower my self esteem. I am not in denial. I have been writing for years. I know I am not great and rarely even good when compared to professional authors, but I know I am not terrible.
I went to your page and read one of your stories. It was very poetic, but far from perfect. People enjoy your works, and that's good. Wouldn't it be better if you spent your energy writing something for your readers rather than attacking me?
I appreciate feedback, but cruel insults are not helpful.
6054759 Sorry honey, but that was the nice version.
I'm not trying to hurt you, I'm trying to get you to realize that there are more problems with your work than you think. I have not been attacking or insulting you, but I could if that's what you'd like. Or, if you want to just keep being a mediocre writer and not improve, then fine, so be it. Your choice.
6054932
Oy vey.
6056852 You know what? Screw it. There's no point in trying to help people who can't see that they need it.
There are people like me who need Meds to function properly ? I'm not alone
I take something different to control my ADHD, and I should probably get screened for bipolar disorder. I may be a teen, but feeling on top of the world and being incredibly happy one minute and considering ending it all the next is NOT NORMAL.
Applejack mentioned tranquilizer, is that just because the horses, was that actually used as a sleeping medication because take clonidine for my insomnia, homemade ADHD I take two pills and I often mix them up