"Thanks, Twilight"

by SirNotAppearingInThisFic

When life gives you lemons...

When the school bell rang, signaling the end of Thursday’s class, Sweetie Belle gathered both of the other Cutie Mark Crusaders. As they started for Sugarcube Corner, she relayed Spike’s answer to an important question that was required for them to continue with their plans.

“Twilight likes lemon pies?” Apple Bloom raised an eyebrow as she glanced at Sweetie Belle. “Are you sure Spike said ‘lemon’?”

“Well, yeah,” Sweetie Belle confirmed. “I don’t know why Twilight likes lemon pie, but Spike sounded pretty certain.” She paused her walking to hold a hoof to her chin. “Come to think of it, how do you make something as sour as a lemon taste sweet enough to use in a dessert?”

Apple Bloom stopped beside her and shrugged. “I don’t really know.”

Scootaloo’s blurted response followed presently. “But haven’t you learned how to bake pies from Applejack?”

“The Apple Family bakes apple pies, Scoots,” Apple Bloom replied, “not lemon pies. I’m sure you can guess which one I know how to bake.”

“Oh, okay.”

Apple Bloom started for Sugarcube corner. “Now, let’s keep movin’.” Sweetie Belle followed behind Scootaloo.

The next four seconds were traveled in silence.

“I bet we’ll need a lot of sugar,” Scootaloo said.

Apple Bloom’s face scrunched in consideration. “I don’t know, Scoots; I think lemons are actually a fruit, so maybe they won’t take too much, like our apples.”

As they entered the store, Mrs. Cake offered to get them “the usual” – large sundaes of their favorite flavors. Apple Bloom turned down the offer, though with some hesitation.

Sweetie Belle felt a hoof nudge her side. Scootaloo’s complaint followed. “Just because we’re making a treat for Twilight doesn’t mean we can’t have one ourselves.”

Sweetie Belle whispered back, “we can’t spend all of our time goofing off if we want to have something to give Twilight before it gets dark.”

During their exchange, Apple Bloom had indicated that they were there to see Pinkie Pie, and they were allowed in the back room. Out of the corner of her eye, Sweetie Belle noticed that Mrs. Cake was eying them, and that her smile had faltered.

In the kitchen, they found Pinkie Pie stirring a large bowl of pink dough – Sweetie Belle guessed it to be cupcake mix. Before any of them could say anything, Pinkie’s onslaught of bubbly words greeted them.

“Hi girls; did you hear about Gummy’s new Trick? He’s been showing off all day to anypony who’ll watch; I think he’s tired now, though, but you should see it – I mean, I knew he was talented, but wow! It’s cooler than juggling ice cubes and sweeter than the double-sugar frosting I put on my pancakes!”

Sweetie Belle bumped into Scootaloo, who had stopped abruptly right in front of her. A follow-up glance suggested that Scootaloo had locked up, and her following word only confirmed what Sweetie Belle suspected.

“Uhhh...”

While Apple Bloom waved a hoof before her friend’s face in an attempt to regain her attention, Sweetie Belle responded. “I don’t think that’s what Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo mean when they say something is ‘sweet’.”

Pinkie blinked at her. “It isn’t?”

“No, Pinkie, I’m pretty sure it isn’t,” Apple Bloom said. She turned away from Scootaloo, who had yet to recover. “Hold on… Why do you put frosting on your pancakes?”

Sweetie Belle let loose a glare towards Apple Bloom, who just shrugged in response.

“Because they’re cakes, and it tastes really good.” Pinkie Pie set down her mixing bowl and bounced towards the refrigerator. “I have a few left over if you want to try for yourself.”

“No— Uh...” Sweetie Belle cleared her throat, and used a tone of voice reserved for politeness, or more specifically, appearing polite when Rarity required it. “No thank you, Pinkie, though they sound delicious. We just came to get help baking a pie.” And eating even one of those would probably give anypony a stomach ache.

Pinkie Pie turned away from the refrigerator and discontinued talking about her pancakes, much to Sweetie Belle’s relief; Pinkie’s food sharing habits occasionally lead to a force-feeding of undesirable foods. The rest of the time it was just a force-feeding of desirable foods.

“Oooh!” Pinkie bounced several times in place. “Sounds fun!” Before the crusaders could object, she had gathered several mixing bowls and ingredient bags.

“Wait, Pinkie,” Scootaloo – apparently now recovered – interjected before things went too far. “Could you just tell us how and let us make it? It’s going to be a gift for Twilight, and we want it to be something we made.”

Pinkie Pie paused her retrieval of measuring cups. “Oh, okay then.” Though her hair hadn’t lost any poof, the mildly dejected tone concerned Sweetie Belle.

“Don’t worry Pinkie,” she said, “I’m sure it’ll be plenty of fun.”

* * *

As Pinkie instructed the crusaders through baking a pie, Sweetie Belle began to question whether the majority of the ingredients had even made it into the mixing bowl. This was only exaggerated when she found out that the upper levels of the shelves that held several of the low-volume ingredients weren’t meant for ponies that weren’t fully-grown. Sweetie Belle tried to levitate the baking powder down, but since she couldn’t see it directly, it got caught on another ingredient. Soon, various powders, several syrups, and an unidentified liquid that smelled really good – which a small lick proved to taste terribly bitter – covered the floor in a rapidly mixing mess.

“Sorry, Pinkie...”

“It’s okay; Gummy loves treats!”

While the crusaders continued their efforts, Gummy did indeed wander in and happily eat at the blob of what resembled dough more than anything else. Soon after, they moved on to the pie’s lemon filling. Scootaloo asked how much sugar it would require, and was visibly disappointed to learn that it did not take her presumed six cups. Apple Bloom wore a smirk as she reminded Scootaloo of their earlier bet.

Finally, all of their work came together – in a still-roughly-circle-shaped dish – which they subsequently burnt. Sweetie Belle pouted, and watched as Scootaloo banged her head on the countertop; an action she appeared to regret – if the look of disgust was anything to go by – when her mane came up covered in dough scraps and lemon filling. Pinkie Pie assured them that they could easily try again, not that that helped with their frustration. Before long, though, they had to admit that if they wanted anything to present to Twilight by the end of the day, they would have to make another attempt.

This time, they were going to use a timer.

* * *

The warm glow of the evening sun lit the road as the Cutie Mark Crusaders approached Golden Oaks Library; with them they had one lemon pie in a pie-sized box for transport. When they reached the door, Apple Bloom stepped forwards and knocked.

A faint purple aura enveloped the handle, and the door swung inwards; Twilight took its place.

“Hi, Twilight,” all three of the crusaders greeted in unison.

“Hello, girls. What brings you here? I thought Twilight Time was tomorrow.” Twilight pulled out a small calendar and flipped through it. “Friday at four—”

Sweetie Belle fought to keep herself from chuckling. “Um, Twilight? We just came to give you something.”

Twilight put the calendar away. “Oh?”

“We made a really big mess out of Twilight Time, but you still continued it,” Sweetie Belle said. “So we wanted to make something to give you to thank you.” At her cue, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo presented the box. “We heard lemon is your favorite—”

“Lemon? Why would anypony tell you that?” Twilight asked. “I don’t like lemons; I don’t like any citrus fruit, really.”

Sweetie Belle’s gut sank farther than she thought possible. Scootaloo and Apple Bloom reacted on either side of her; the former banged her head on the doorframe while the latter let out a long groan. Sweetie Belle just wanted to cry.

“Oh, that isn’t to say... well...” Twilight rubbed the back of her neck and fidgeted. “It’s nice of you to make something to thank me, but Twilight Time is just as fun for me as it is for you.”

“Well, maybe Owlicious will eat it,” Sweetie Belle suggested, “or Spike.” Wait... Spike had informed them that Twilight would like a lemon pie in the first place. He lied to us, didn’t he?!

Twilight took the box and waved as the crusaders turned to walk away. “Bye, girls.” She sounded confused.

“What just happened?” Apple Bloom asked when they had walked out of earshot of anyone in the library that could be listening.

“Spike,” Sweetie Belle replied with a bitter tone.

Apple Bloom tilted her head. “Spike? You think he’s playin’ a trick on us?”

“Or on Twilight?” Scootaloo added.

Sweetie Belle glowered at the ground in front of her. “I don’t know, and I don’t care; I will make sure he regrets it.”

* * *

Spike climbed off of the stool he had pushed to the window, and set it back in its place. He had watched the entire encounter; everything had worked out in his favor. The crusaders hadn’t even mentioned his name! Satisfied, he picked up a comic book and climbed into his bed.

Nopony tricks Spike and gets away with it, he thought to himself. That’ll teach Sweetie Belle for telling me Pinkie’s new flavor of ice cream is Rarity’s new favorite.

As it turned out, wasabi was not Rarity’s favorite.

Author's Note:

This story has been re-written. You can find the original here.

Comments

[The Accursed One]

This was pretty funny and grammatically sound. Well done, OP.

[bahatumay]

[Mad Maudlin]

Good work, though Spike is kind of a dick.

[OmniFox]

I smell a prank war between the CMC and Spike.

[jazzie366 FLUFFKIN]

This story is fantastic. Well written and fun to read. It's actually canon as well, for once.

[Blast]

Wasabi ice cream?

[SirNotAppearingInThisFic]

7946404
At the time, it seemed a sufficiently likely flavor for Pinkie Pie to make happen, what with the hot-sauce-and-cupcake thing. It also sounded like a sufficiently bad idea for an ice cream flavor, and I imagined that it would be roughly the same shade of green as you might see in a mint & chocolate chip ice cream.

It's been a while since I wrote it. Also, if you look it up, wasabi ice cream apparently does exist. I think I explained more of the motivations in the sequel, but gosh, it's been so long I'd have to read it again myself.