rejection

Sweetie woke from a loud knock at the door. She rose from the couch rubbing her head. Her back and head were aching. She received another loud knock from the door.
"Coming!" She yelled as she made her way to the door. She opened it surprised to she who was on the other side.

"I'm sorry did I wake you?" Spike said. Sweetie studied him looking down at a green wrapped box in his hand. She realized she was staring at him far to long.

"What gave it away?" She finally answered. He looked at the tangled purple and pink birds nest upon her head. Finally she caught on, she felt her cheeks warmth of embarrassment.

"Oh uh.." She mumbled akwardly. He looked at her and smiled that same smile that could melt her heart. Her face began to grow warmer as she stared at him.

"Right, well I wanted to know, is your sister here?" He asked. Her eyes fell as she looked down dissapointed.

"O-oh my sister...s-she's upstairs I'll go get her...for you." She mumbled. Sweetie walked up stairs into her sister's room. She stood at the door watching her sister. She was putting on dark blue eyshadow. Sweetie studied her carefully. She was wearing gold hoop earrings and a dark blue dress much like her eye shadow.

"Going somewhere?" Sweetie asked startling her sister.

"Goodness Sweetie you scared me! Don't do that!" Her sister scolded her in a frim tone. Sweetie stared at her older sister for a minuet almost for getting why she came up here.

"Oh! Right, Spike...wanted to." Sweetie paused studying her sister once more. Rarity would never dress in one of her fancy dresses unless it was a special occasion. Or a date.

"Spike uh...wanted to talk to you..." Sweetie said staring at her sister.

"Well tell him I'll be right there." Rarity said closing the door. Quickly Rarity pulled out her phone and dialed a number.

"Hello?" The pony on the other line said

"I'm afraid I'll be a few minuets late." Rarity said

"Its ok I'll talk to you later."

With that Rarity hung up and put her phone away.
******
Sweetie walked towards Spike. His back was facing her as she approached him. She tapped on him which caused him to jump.

"She uh said shell be down in a few minuets." Sweetie said staring at the box in his hand. She was beginning to get painfully curious to know what was in it. He caught her staring at it and put his hands behind his back.

"So uh spike... I wanted to uh-."

"I'm here." Rarity said interrupting her sister.

"You wanted to talk to me spikey wikey." Rarity said sweetly. A deep crimson dusted Spike's face.

"Uh y-yeah." He said nervously.

"Could I uh talk to your sister alone Sweetie?" Spike asked. Sweetie nodded slowly and the two walked out side and closed the door behind them.
Sweetie sighed and sat on the couch.

"Why are you so blind?" She said talking to her self. She burried her face into her hands. She hear sompony yell, it sounded a lot like Spike. She stood up and walked over to the window next to the front door. She peered out side, the two of them were still talking but Spike looked upset. He said something that she couldn't make out and he flew off.

Sweetie quickly opened the door and stood next to her sister as they both watched him fly off. As soon as he was out of view Sweetie belle turned to her sister.

"What. Did. You do?!?!" Sweetie asked angrily.

"He asked if I'd go out with him but I don't feel that way about him." Rarity replied

Sweetie was both sad and relieved. She looked down at her hooves and she noticed the green box on the ground.

"Well I have to go I'll see you later." Rarity said as she went inside and grabbed the keys to the car.

"I'll probably be gone for a while so I left money for food on the table." Rarity said as walked to the car. Sweetie just stared at the box. Rarity pulled out of the drive through and drove away.

Sweetie belle picked up the box and stared at it for a minuet. Though she was tempted to open it she didn't want to disrespect Spike so in stead she grabbed the money off the counter and the spare key from under the matt and locked the door.

********

Twilight sat on her bed reading one of her favorite novels "The Lost Island". She was lost into her book imagining that she was vennturing off into the islands dark Forrest. A firm knock at the library door brought her back into reality. She grabbed a book mark from her night stand and put in her book. She closed the book and placed it on her pillow. She made her way down the stairs towards the door.

"Sweetie belle what a pleasant surprise!" Twilight exclaimed as she opened the door.

"Come in come in." Twilight said happily

Sweetie didn't hesitate she rushed into the house closing the door behind her.

"Is Spike here?" She asked as soon as she closed the door.

"No I'm afraid not." Twilight answered. She looked at Sweetie and she had noticed something she hadn't noticed before. Twilight went over to her purse on the table next to the door. She pulled out and object and walked over to Sweetie belle. Twilight took Sweetie's hand and put the object in her free hand. Sweetie belle looked down at the object and her cheeks grew warm. It was a hairbrush.

"I think you need it." Twilight said looking at Sweetie's hair.

"I must've forgotten." She said as she brushed through her curly locks.

Twilight looked at what sweetie was wearing. A blue tank top with a heart in the middle of it and fuzzy white pajama bottoms.

"Do yo plan on going anywhere?" Twilight asked

"Yeah Rarity gave me money for food." Sweetie answered confused why Twilight would ask her that.

"How about I lend you some pants." Twilight said. Sweetie looked down at her bottoms and looked back up.

"Oh uh sure."

Twilight walked up to her room and Sweetie followed behind her. Twilight walked over to her closet and looked through her drawer and pulled out blue jeans that were about Sweetie's size. She walked over and handed her the jeans.

"Our bathroom is down the hall to the left." Twilight said and smiled. Sweetie walked down the hall to the bathroom studying the walls. There were all sorts of pictures plastered upon them. Sweetie stopped and looked at a picture that was surrounded in a silver frame. It was a picture of Applebloom, Scootaloo, Spike and herself. She smiled and continued walking until she found the bathroom and changed into the pants Twilight gave her. She made her way to Twilight's room. Twilight sat on her bed reading a book. Sweetie walked over to Twilights bed and sat next to her.

"Spike left this at my house." Sweetie said as she handed Twilight the wrapped box.

"Oh no this was for Rarity. I take that it didn't go so well." Twilight said looking at Sweetie.
Sweetie shook her head.

"I should go." Sweetie said getting up. Twilight looked at her and got up as well.

"Where are you going?"

"The Hayburger to get dinner." Sweetie answered

"You can leave your pajama bottoms with me and I'll drop them off later." Twilight said. Sweetie nodded and put the bottoms on Twilights bed. She walked down stairs and Twilight followed behind her. Sweetie walked over to the door and placed her hand on the knob.

"How long have you loved him?" Twilight asked. Sweetie looked at her confused.

"I don't know wha-"

"Spike, how long have you loved him?" She asked again cutting Sweetie off.

"Since the day we met." Sweetie replied smiling. She looked down at the floor and then opened the door. She stepped out side and closed the door after she waved goodbye.

**********

"I can serve next in line." The casheir called out.

Sweetie walked up to the cashier and looked at the menu. "I'll have the hay Burger meal." Sweetie told the lady.

"Alright that'll be $4.50." The cashier replied cheerfully. Sweetie belle handed her the money and the cashier gave her a cup.

"What's the name for the order?" The cashier asked.

"Sweetie Belle." The cashier nodded and Sweetie walked to the fountain drinks. She filled her cup halfway full of ice and filled the cup with iced tea.

Sweetie made her way to a booth in the corner of the restaurant. She wished Spike was here with her. She wished she knew where he was so she could see him and comfort him.

"I love you Spike." She whispered.

"Order for Sweetie." The casheir called out. Sweetie got up and grabbed her tray of food and sat down and ate.

Author's Note:

Thank you for reading I hoped you liked this chap. I hope to upload more chapters very very soon!

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Comments ( 30 )

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Random nobody

Random nobody #1 · Feb 3rd, 2015 · 1 · ·

Good so far. Spikebelle is one of my favorite shippings.

Equitis

Equitis #2 · Feb 3rd, 2015 · 4 · ·

I would like to read this because I like the ship, but the lack of punctuation and the spelling errors are too loud for me to see the rest. I know other people that would feel the same way.

It's important to have proofreaders and/or editors.

toxiconym

toxiconym #3 · Feb 3rd, 2015 · · ·

I had a minuet a few weeks ago, at someone's wedding. It was a'ight.
But besides the obvious misspelling of the word minute, I have a few things to share with you. I am no writer, at all, but I have some understanding of writing. It would help a lot if you actually read what you wrote a few hours or so after you write it, or get someone with good grammar/spelling skills to read it over for you.

One thing that could help you is dragging events out longer and sharing character emotion.

"What. Did. You do?!?!" Sweetie asked angrily.
"He asked if I'd go out with him but I don't feel that way about him." Rarity replied
Sweetie was both sad and relieved.

In these short sentences, first of all, please don't ?!?!?!?!. It's distracting, you only need one question mark. Interrobangs aren't that popular. But besides that, in here you show how Sweetie Belle is at first really upset about what happened, but completely turned heels when she talked to Rarity. If you would have shown more emotion, or dragged out the conversation longer, it would have added more depth.
Also, one tip when showing emotion.
"Sweetie was both sad and relieved," here you demonstrate emotion, which is good, but it's just plain emotion. You only stated the mood that the character was in. You didn't give us any clues of how sad Sweetie was.
"Sweetie sighed and looked down. She knew that Spike had always wanted to be with Rarity, and felt down that it didn't work out, but at the same time she felt a guilty, uneasy form of glad,"
Something along those lines shows emotion, yet gives much more depth.
Now, I'm no writer... but this story was pretty good for a third story. I've seen much worse.

Lightning Bolt VA

Lightning Bolt VA #4 · Feb 3rd, 2015 · · ·

You have no idea how much I love this! Seriously you should be in Meghan Mccarthy's place. This was so dramatic, I just can't stop waiting for the next chapter to come.

Marik_Azemus

Marik_Azemus #5 · Feb 3rd, 2015 · · ·

*realizes

Darth Redbeard

Darth Redbeard #6 · Feb 3rd, 2015 · · ·

all I can say is please fix errors before I give full review.

flutterdash_o3o

flutterdash_o3o #7 · Feb 3rd, 2015 · · ·

5581436 will do thanks for the corrections.

01982939w9w

01982939w9w #8 · Feb 3rd, 2015 · · ·

Wanna hear a joke? What do you call a baby in a blender?

flutterdash_o3o

flutterdash_o3o #9 · Feb 3rd, 2015 · · ·

I know alot of ppl say I need a editor but I just can't find a good one. I'm sick and tired of getting yelled at for a lack of punctuations but I'm only in sixth grade I'm trying the best I can. I love writting but I can't keep doing this. So please just tell me where I can get a decent editor

01982939w9w