Rejection is a awful thing. It can make you do horrible things to yourself, but for spike it helped him realize who he really loves. Someone who had been there for him this whole time. Someone who had really loved him.
(Spike has wings in this fan fic)
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Good so far. Spikebelle is one of my favorite shippings.
I would like to read this because I like the ship, but the lack of punctuation and the spelling errors are too loud for me to see the rest. I know other people that would feel the same way.
It's important to have proofreaders and/or editors.
I had a minuet a few weeks ago, at someone's wedding. It was a'ight.
But besides the obvious misspelling of the word minute, I have a few things to share with you. I am no writer, at all, but I have some understanding of writing. It would help a lot if you actually read what you wrote a few hours or so after you write it, or get someone with good grammar/spelling skills to read it over for you.
One thing that could help you is dragging events out longer and sharing character emotion.
In these short sentences, first of all, please don't ?!?!?!?!. It's distracting, you only need one question mark. Interrobangs aren't that popular. But besides that, in here you show how Sweetie Belle is at first really upset about what happened, but completely turned heels when she talked to Rarity. If you would have shown more emotion, or dragged out the conversation longer, it would have added more depth.
Also, one tip when showing emotion.
"Sweetie was both sad and relieved," here you demonstrate emotion, which is good, but it's just plain emotion. You only stated the mood that the character was in. You didn't give us any clues of how sad Sweetie was.
"Sweetie sighed and looked down. She knew that Spike had always wanted to be with Rarity, and felt down that it didn't work out, but at the same time she felt a guilty, uneasy form of glad,"
Something along those lines shows emotion, yet gives much more depth.
Now, I'm no writer... but this story was pretty good for a third story. I've seen much worse.
You have no idea how much I love this! Seriously you should be in Meghan Mccarthy's place. This was so dramatic, I just can't stop waiting for the next chapter to come.
*realizes
all I can say is please fix errors before I give full review.
5581436 will do
thanks for the corrections.
Wanna hear a joke? What do you call a baby in a blender?
I know alot of ppl say I need a editor but I just can't find a good one. I'm sick and tired of getting yelled at for a lack of punctuations but I'm only in sixth grade I'm trying the best I can. I love writting but I can't keep doing this. So please just tell me where I can get a decent editor
5581966 https://www.fimfiction.net/user/ShadowblazeCR
5581974
Thanks
Keep up the good work
5581961
What do you call it?
This was alright, I wanna see where it goes. Don't know why it has so many dislikes. I've seen far worse.
5582487 maybe sparity
Sweetie loves her sugar dragon.
5581966
How old are you?
5583172
Read the bio.
More!
5583172
I'm only 11 I just put that I'm bio because I don't like ppl to know my age but idk anymore
This story will no longer continue the user has been banned
5584869
Since when? The user PMed me around the time you posted that.
Edit: Oh, never mind. She PMed me about fifteen minutes before then. So why was she banned?
They would have been so cute OOOOH I FOUND A PENNY IS SO SHINY
5585228
We have no idea
5585228
Most likely because she said she was eleven.
5607491
Your probably right but she was pretty good
5622943
What do you mean?
5622947
I mean even though she was 11 she was an ok writter probably better than most 13 year olds stories I've read
5622952
I guess so. But I wrote my story when I was close to that age, not her's.
5622962
True