With a soft groan and a tired mumble, Adagio Dazzle felt herself return to the land of the conscious, her body wrapped in blankets and the memories of the dream she had just woken up from disappearing like a match that had burnt down to nothing... or tears in the rain…
…That replicant from Blade Runner was pretty hot…
…Huh… Wonder how old the actor who played that replicant is now. Bet he’s old…
…I’d still do him though. Adagio thought with a smile as she pulled her purple covers to cover her bare shoulders. She frowned slightly as her eyelids cracked open like someone peeking behind a door. Red light from a digital clock and the first few rays of sunshine began to leak into the bedroom. Crap… Lost my eye mask… Is it…?
A slender hand emerged from the toasty safety of the blankets and grouped around the part of the bed in front of Adagio for a few moments.
Damn… Not there… Okay… then…?
Adagio raised her had to her long orange curls around her face and felt around a bit.
Not there… Ah… F#@% it… Adagio grasped a lock of her hair and pulled it in front of her eyes, returning her hand to the inviting warmth of her covers.
I’ll find my mask tomorrow or Aria can comb it out of my hair… whatev—Oh no. Oh nooo! No! No! Noooo! Why now?! WHY?! WHY DOES LIFE HAVE TO BE SO UNFAIR?!
Adagio glanced over her digital clock which red ‘6:32 AM’. “SONATA!”
“I’M BUSY!” came the immediate response. “IT’S CARTOON TIME!”
“BUT IT’S AN EMERGENCY!”
“LEAVE ME ALONE OR I’LL DO TO YOU WHAT THIS MOUSE IS DOING TO THIS CAT! SPOILER ALERT: IT INVOLVES A LAWN MOWER!”
Adagio frowned heavily… Well… one down. “ARIA!” she hollered. “ARIA! HELP ME!”
The sound of boots heavily hitting the wooden floor sounded out and grew closer before Adagio’s bedroom door was thrown open, a silhouette of a woman possessing twin ponytails held up with violent-looking metal star hairclips and an equally dangerous looking figure appeared. “What the hell, Adagio?!” Aria exclaimed equal parts annoyance, anger, and concern as she looked at Adagio and scanned the room. “What’s going on?”
“I need to pee!” Adagio replied pathetically.
“… You’ve got to be sh!%%ing me!” Aria exclaimed. “The way you were screaming I figured you were bleeding to death or something…”
“Well… I’m not,” Adagio said. “Still, this is an emergency.”
“That you need to pee?!” Aria cried as she threw her hands out. “How the hell does this warrant screaming at me this freakin’ late?!”
“I need your help!”
“… You need my help… to pee…” Aria replied in confusion.
“Yes,” Adagio replied. “I need to pee, but I don’t want to get up or leave the comfort of my warm blankets.”
“… I don’t know what you expect me to do, but I’m pretty grossed out, Dagi.”
Adagio rolled her eyes. “I don’t need you to do anything weird.”
“Pretty sure we’re already beyond that point,” Aria replied.
“Look… Just pick me up, carry me to my bathroom, and put me on the toilet.”
“… You want me to CARRY you to the bathroom?!” Aria exclaimed.
“Yes… and also put me on the toilet. I mean… There’s just three steps here… It should be pretty easy to follow even for you.”
“Adagio! That’s the height of laziness! And this is coming from me! I can’t believe you got me away from playing Zelda to deal with something so stupid!”
Adagio put on a small pout. “Please, Aria… It’s so warm and nice in my blankets! I also got my hair to sit just the right way where it’s not scratching me or being pulled when I roll over … Do you have any idea how long that takes me?!”
Aria groaned. “Adagio… Just get up and go piss.”
“But… but… Aria, I know you’ve been where I’m lying now.”
“Yes, Adagio… I’ve been in your bed many times.”
“No, stupid! I mean, you must have nights where you wake up, warm and comfortable, and all you want to do is enjoy the warmth your body has slowly created over the hours of the night, but your bladder is full of yesterday’s baja blast or game fuel or whatever corn syrup based poison you filled yourself with and you WANT to ignore it but the pressure is building and building and you know your chances of getting back to that perfect warmth and drifting back to a gentle sleep will be gone as soon as you get up and go to the bathroom.”
Aria shrugged. “Yeah, so? That happens to everyone.”
“Aria, I have a dream!”
“Oh, Christ…”
“I have a dream of not having to get out of my covers once… just once and being able to use the bathroom!”
“Seriously… just get the f@#% up…”
“I have a dream of sweet relief before drifting off back to the comforts of sleep! Away from this harsh waking world and the realities of biology.”
“This is, like, Sonata levels of stupid right here…”
“I have a dream of casting off the pressures of life and internal liquid, and returning, once… just once victorious over waking up and needing to use the bathroom in the middle of the night… early morning… whatever.”
“Seriously, this is so f@#%ing dumb, I can’t even even right now.”
“Aria! I HAVE A DREAM!”
“Alright already!” Aria exclaimed as she stomped into the room, thrust her hands under the hair and Adagio blanket burrito, and lifted it against her chest. She stomped over to another doorway in the room and stumbled in, spotting the porcelain toilet with only the meager light from the room over, Aria lifted a foot and opened the toilet lid with her boot before not-so-gently dropping Adagio on top of the toilet seat. Adagio quickly adjusted the blankets under her.
“There!” Aria growled out. She turned and began muttering herself. “Stupid roommate-sister-girlfriends… Why the f#&% do they have to be so cra—”
“You can’t leave!” Adagio exclaimed. “You need to carry me back to bed when I’m done!”
Aria let out an extended groan that slowly ratcheted up a howl of irritation. “FINE!” she cried as she stopped in her tracks, staring out into Adagio’s bedroom.
“… You know I have blankets completely covering me, you can turn and face me, you prudish weirdo.”
Aria turned, glare at the ready and anger already on her lips. “Oh, I’M the f@#%ing weirdo here?! I’m not the one who yelled for help just so she wouldn’t…” Aria’s face tightened.
Adagio was grinning up at Aria with a slightly glazed over sultry expression.
“Oh my god, you’re getting off on this, aren’t you!?” Aria accused.
“Little bit, yeah.”
Such a beautiful dream
Not wanting to get out of a warm bed? Nothing unreasonable here.
Needs more Lawnmower Sonata...
Oh my god...
Thank you for this. I needed a good laugh like this right now.
...the fuck?
I wouldn't worry about Sonata doing that. Either she would pull so hard the cord would break, or Sonata would get so mad at the lawnmower, she would take her frustration out on it instead and forget what she was trying to do.
8174569
I was hoping you'd read this one and that it would brighten a horrible series of days. Stay strong, brother.
8174574 I'm not even sure who's the most dangerous of the three anymore.
8174573
For some of us, it is DIFFICULT to get to that perfect blanket-temp that is just so snuggly warm while leaving our heads so nicely cool. And we really do not want to leave that state of existence. Ever.
Just so happens that only a few of us have the sheer Charisma to actually pull off... The Dream!
8174579 Thanks.
Lewd!
I TOO know that pain Adaigo, all too well.
Lucky for me I'm a guy and more often then not there's an empty bottle next to my bed.
But honestly I thought that Adagio's dream was to create some sort of super harem for herself. Now I'm thinking of what would happen if Princess Luna were to enter her or Sonata's dreams?
And are we sure that Sonata isn't related to Deadpool or the Joker for that matter?
omg Oooohoho what a chapter this is, nicely done dude, nicely done
Kinda reminds me of the time I sprained my back so bad I couldn't get out of bed. Had to take pain-killers just to get though the day. Stupid trash-canisters.
Sonata was hilarious. She also has good taste in cartoons.
Dazzle them with brilliance or baffle them with bullshit...congratulations, this chapter has officially done both!
FUN! <3
Every chapter.
Well, now I'm all grossed out, you sick person you.
See you next chapter.
Yeah, I'm with Jetto on this one.
hand
Snerk, late to night dwelling Aria obviously.
??
“Aria! I HAVE A DREAM!”
i.ytimg.com/vi/jG7yrwbtdXA/maxresdefault.jpg
8189673
Most of my public teachers were good ones. Most. Unfortunately I was a bit of a brat growing up, so their attitudes towards me were probably because of that, looking back.
Your adagio is just so great. you picked a perfect place to end it.
good that hits close to home:P
8175876
I wonder what she thinks of Annoying Orange?
8224950 I'm certain she'd wanna give that petulant piece of produce the Gallagher treatment...
8225443
Excellent treatment.
I watch it as a form of perverse masochism at times.
Dagi, that's not saying much. With how you get around half the planet is probably related to someone who's screwed you at some point in the last 300 years.
Oh, there's no need for that, girls! Just listen to Billy Mays' advice!
8174573
My sentiments exactly.
I mean that really could be a phrase that just gets used with Adagio a lot, but I'm still gonna guess Archer.