One Night at Greasy's (Come On... You All Saw This Coming)
“HOW DID I GET ROPED INTO THIS?!” Oddjob exclaimed as she found herself walking back into Greasy’s, having swapped out her plaid, the-primary-colors-have-all-fought-and-died-fighting-each-other uniform for a blue one that radiated with as much authority as an ill-fitting I-have-some-authority-here-but-I’m-clearly-not-police uniform could.
“I force you into it,” Aria answered as Oddjob held the door open for her, “as well as your boss, with threats of violence, to let you watch my back,” she concluded matter-of-factually. She walked in the building, likewise wearing a uniform, though her shirt was untucked and unbuttoned to show off a black sports bra and well-toned muscles. She also carried a duffle bag that was clearly filled to almost bursting and straining with weight that Aria herself wasn’t paying any mind to. “But hey, you get like, overpay or something, right?”
Oddjob let out a sad sigh. “No… They said something about this being a completely different position, and therefore, not counting towards my forty hours.”
“Huh,” Aria uttered as Oddjob let the door close and locked it up. “I’m no, like, magistrate, but that sounds illegal.”
“… Magistrate?”
“You know… Someone who knows laws and junk.”
“… You mean like a lawyer?!”
“Yeah, whatever!” Aria replied. “Law-thing… The point is it sounds like you're being screwed and not in the good way.”
Oddjob let out a sad sigh. “Story of my life…” She shook her head as if to clear it. “Okay, so I do get a bit more money,” Oddjob looked around nervously as the meager amount of streetlight turned what were presumably booths and arcade game cabinets into a collection of sinister silhouettes lurking just on the outskirts of visibility. “But this place is scary enough when the lights are on! I don’t want to be here in the dark!”
“Oh woman up, you baby,” Aria replied. “It’s not like I dragged you here so we could be possessed or munched on by ghosts.” Aria raised her duffle bag and gave it a few heavy pats. “I brought the tools of the trade.”
“Like… security guard stuff?”
“Uh… Well, night vision goggles and a couple flashlights, sure, but… What… you really think that’s why we’re here?”
“‘Do I think we’re here to do the job we’re being paid for?’” Oddjob warbled out in a somewhat sarcastic tone.
“Careful,” Aria growled out, “You’re my wing-buster on this, but I put up with enough of that condescending garbage from Adagio.”
“Okay, sorry,” Oddjob said. “But, I assumed we’d maybe hang out in the guard area and make the rounds a few times before our shift ended. Not uh…. Whatever it is you apparently think we’re going to do?”
“We’re gonna bust ghosts, of course!” Aria said excitedly. She raised her duffle bag again. “Hence all the equipment.”
“… Words fail me,” Oddjob replied.
Aria shook her head. “Whatever… Anyway, wanna burn this place down when we’re done?” Aria suggested.
Oddjob’s jaw dropped almost low enough that it touched the floor.
“You know… ‘cause your evil corporate masters are stiffing your pay. All the grease covering everything, I bet it goes up like a roman candle.”
“What?! No!” Oddjob shouted. “As much as I don’t want to do this creepy nightguard job, I still have a not quite as creepy waitress/pizza cook/ticket unjammer job to think about!”
“Wow is that sad.”
“I knoooooow!” Oddjob lamented. She shook her head. “This place being burnt down would hamper my ability to get a paycheck.” She thrust a finger at Aria. “And yours.”
“Pffft, like I care.” Aria raised her duffle bag slightly. “The stuff I brought is probably worth more than the entire building and everything in it…”
Oddjob peered at the duffle bag curiously before redirecting her gaze back towards Aria. “Still! No arson!”
Aria shrugged. “Okay, but I can’t help it if this place goes up with us shooting out positive charged ion rays in the directions of any ghosts that are unfortunate enough to cross our paths.”
“… I have several questions.”
“Maybe they can wait to get to ghostbusting HQ.”
“You mean the security desk?”
“That sounds lame and also vaguely associated with ‘the man’, but sure… We’re taking over and can call it whatever we want.” She shook her head. “Let’s just get the lights on.”
“Uh, we’re supposed to conserve power. We only have so much to work with tonight. Didn’t you listen to my and, by extension, your boss when you filled out the paperwork?”
“To answer your question, no, no I did not. I just sort of nodded and grunted. That’s how I get by when Sonata is telling me about one of her dumb shows. Also… What?!”
“Yeah, Greasy’s is set to only allow so much energy during the night so it can save on money. Basically, we have enough power to keep the cameras going during the night and maybe we can use a flashlight if we’re careful.”
“… I… Look… I wasn’t going to turn on all the lights while I play all the filthy arcade games and dance to the crummy looking animatronics, but what kind of horrible place are you guys running if it’s a big deal to switch on the lights so we don’t run smack into the filthy video games while we’re doing the rounds?!” Aria shook her head. “I swear, I’m regretting not going out to get a tetanus shot today just based on this insanity.”
“The bosses like to save money wherever they can,” Oddjob said matter of factually.
“Well… that explains literally everything.” Aria shook her head. “But that’s still the dumbest thing ever… Of all time. And this is coming from someone who’s roommate knows all the words to every kids’ song that’s ever existed as far as I can tell!”
“Uh… How many kids songs do you know exist?”
“Too many!” Aria retorted. “Look, let’s just get to HQ so we can see whatever tools this run-down operation gives us for catching ghosts.”
“Uh…okay… I mean… it’s just in the back here…” Oddjob said as she locked the door behind her and Aria. She led Aria through the open space in front of the front counters and ‘Prize Gallery’, labeled with day-glow yellow construction paper and marker, both so tattered and faded one had to wonder if the sign was older than most those collecting prizes as well as their caretakers.
The girls made their way behind the counter with its myriad of cheap plastic toys, Aria taking care not to smash her heavy bag into anything on the way in. They entered through a doorway into the pitch-black hallway of the ‘Employee’s Only’ Area’ where they proceeded to place a hand on the nearest wall and grope about as they slowly made their way through the darkness.
“Oddjob… just… What the hell are we doing?” Aria grumbled out in a dissatisfied tone.
“It’s fine!” Oddjob insisted. “I’m sure the security room is close!”
“This place isn’t some sort of maze… It’s just as much space as you need to trap children with games and run-down animatronic mascots.”
“No… No… I got it! It’s… Okay… that’s clearly a storage closet, but I’ve got a good feeling about the next room! Right… HERE!” she said triumphantly.
“Oddjob… That’s my left boob…”
“So it is!” Oddjob said in the same triumphant tone if somewhat mixed with embarrassment.
“Oh for the love of…” There was the sound of a zipper unzipping and some light fumbling before a flashlight was switched on, the beam pointed up to highlight Aria’s unamused expression as Oddjob looked at her with a slightly flushed look from the dim outskirts the illumination provided.
Aria passed a flashlight to Oddjob before rummaging around in her duffle bag and producing one for herself.
Oddjob examined her flashlight slightly, taking care not to point the beam in Aria’s face. “Whoa… this has some heft to it,” she commented as she looked over the black flashlight that was about as long as her forearm. “I feel like I could club someone to death with this.”
Aria chuckled. “Yeah…” she said as she searched around with her flashlight.
As Aria’s light passed over Oddjob’s eyes she winced slightly and held a hand in front of her face. “Why’d you get such huge flashlights anyhow?”
“Uh… In case I need to club someone to death?” answered Aria. “There!” she exclaimed as she pointed her flashlight into a small room with a black-and-metal speckled desk. Upon the desk was set a small metal desk-fan, several box-shaped security monitors, and some aging audio equipment that looked like it might work with walkie talkies or a PA system. A single black rectangular speaker with two black cones was set beneath the desk. Wires ran out of the devices and up towards the ceiling where a solitary, almost lonely looking light dangled from above.
Oddjob switched off her flashlight and followed Aria into the office where Aria hefted her duffle bag onto the desk and began examining the equipment nearby. Aria chuckled. “Wow… I think this security equipment is older than you…”
Oddjob’s face tightened. “Uh… You mean older than us.”
“…Yeah… Not likely,” Aria replied. She looked around the room with her flashlight temporarily blinding Oddjob once again. Her light fell on a single switch. “Hey… Can we turn on the power here, or are the corporate fat-cats gonna sick their watchdogs on us if we do?”
“I think we—”
“No, wait! Are the corporate pigs gonna sick their watchdogs on us?” Aria said with a smile. “You know, like in Animal Farm…”
“Yeah, I get it,” Oddjob said with an eye roll as she walked over to the switch. “I’m pretty sure we’re good to turn on one light up there. Plus we’re going to need the equipment.”
“Do we though?” Aria snarked.
With a sigh, Oddjob flipped on the switch causing the ceiling lamp to flicker on and bathe, or more accurately, moisten the room with light.
“Let there be light,” Aria said unenthusiastically. “All 20 watts of it,” she added.
Oddjob let out an anxious giggle and shrugged. “Okay, it’s not much, but we should conserve the flashlight batteries…”
“Uh… these aren’t some garage sale pieces of junk, you know. They’re LED lights and can be left on for like 90 hours or something…”
“Okay, but that doesn’t mean we should just waste power!”
Aria rolled her eyes and shut off her own flashlight. “Alright, hippy. I’ll make sure to bring Mother Nature a plate of nice tea and compost and separate all my papers and plastics, or whatever.”
Using the meager light she had, Aria took in the room, what little there was to take in. “I can see why they only wanted one person, there’s barely any room in here.” Glancing at the two doorways leading into the office, she noted two large square buttons, a glowing red one with the word ‘DOOR’ under it, and unlit button with the word ‘LIGHT’ printed under it. Aria pressed the ‘DOOR’ button. The button went from glowing red to green and Aria’s eyes opened slightly in surprise as a solid metal door suddenly fell from the frame with a solid, echoing sound like a prison gate being slammed shut. Smiling to herself Aria knocked on the door a few times letting the satisfying sound metal being wrapped on sound out. “Hah! Dang… Who are they trying to keep out? Friday Cougar?” She chuckled adding. “Guess these doors would certainly stop a horde of screaming children hopped up on birthday cake and ice cream…”
Her eyebrows knit in irritation, Oddjob walked over and hit the door button, opening it.
Aria let out a sigh. “Don’t tell me it takes power to keep the door closed!”
“Well… it does…”
“HOW?!” Aria exclaimed.
“Uh… I think it’s like some sort of electromagnetic counter-weight system or something? So, whoever is guarding isn’t trapped inside if the power goes out.”
“That’s bull…” Aria trailed off and thought for a moment. “Huh… that’s a more sensible answer than I was expecting,” Aria admitted. “Still though, this is kinda a horrible panic room if zombies attack or something…”
“I don’t think they built this place with ‘zombie attacks’ in mind, Aria,” Oddjob said, the first hints of exasperation entering her voice.
“Well, they should have!” Aria countered. She walked back over to the security desk and grunted as she leaned over her duffle bag. She switched on one of the monitors. “At least the camera’s work… Let’s see… bathroom… hallway… busted up animatronics…” Aria gasped.
Oddjob swallowed. “… What?” she asked in an anxious tone.
Aria’s face lit up as she began rummaging through her bag. “Slime ghost!” she declared excitedly as Oddjob heard a few beeps before Aria slung on some sort of black, vaguely rectangular and oblong pack, grabbed her flashlight, and dashed through one of the open doors.
Oddjob’s eyes widened as she heard the hum of something electronic come to life in Aria’s wake. She took a quick glance at the monitor Aria was looking at. “Slime gh— Aria! Wait!” she called out as she broke into pursuit after Aria, switching on her flashlight. “That’s just the kitchen! WAAAAAAAAIT!”
I've been informed the camera doesn't work in the kitchen in FnaF. I'm claiming artistic license here and the fact that this is 'Greasy's'... it's MUCH worse. 
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I am thinking that Oddjob should shack up with Aria...for SCIENCE!! <.<
You see, I skipped a section here and thought they were still talking about Aria's boobs.
Anyone want to take bets on which animatronic they take down first?
I want to know which one Aria will take down using the flashlights as jaws of life chopsticks.
I take it that thing has the annoying ability to teleport when its restraints are extremely intimately bonded with it?
Hehe.
Aria: Girl there's not a piece of electronics on this planet older than I am.
I do hope Aria handles this the way I expect her to. Funny thing about "monsters", if you think it can only be killed with a silver bullet or some other gimic, you clearly haven't tried enough normal bullets. Please refer to an AR15 chambered for .50 beowulf.
Oh, this is where you were going with this one. I wondered what old promise you meant to fulfill, but was too lazy to look at your old comments and author's notes to find out.
Well, so far, so good. Aria and Oddjob play off one another quite well, though I'm a bit surprised you didn't just use another Siren or Rainboom. Still this lets us get a new perspective on things as they are all already familiar with magical weirdness and Aria's oddities, while Oddjob is not.
I know how it is to work for a cheap/shitty place and still finding yourself defending working there by virtue of it still being a paycheck.
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yeah, kind of expected when Aria lit up the flashlight for Oddy to still be grasping Aria boob. Then giving it a quick squeeze (or two) before letting it go. Especially if you remember how Aria was described as dressed.
Well, at least nothing's trying to kill them...yet. But I approve of Aria being prepared.
Heehehehehe, this was epic, freaking epic. And lol... I like like Oddjob, she's neato~
good show!
Heehehehehe, this was epic, freaking epic. And lol... I like like Oddjob, she's neato~
good show!
Hey, it was both better than FNAF and the new Ghostbusters. And in just one(or more) chapter(s). Nice work.
Um....
Is this Aria mixing up the name or is that actually what the character is called in this world?
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Equestria Girls doesn't really use names like we do so I have to make up something that's usually close enough the reference still sticks.
Honestly, it's one of the most obnoxious aspects of writing EgS stories.
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Personally when making a Ponified name of an actual person I look up what the name means and just plug that in. Or I think of what they do and just make a name off of that.
But yeah, those kinds of things can be time consuming and annoying XD.
Well. Okay. That's a thing.
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Well, there's controversial evidence suggesting batteries are apparently older than Celestia... but the last I checked nobody's found evidence ancient civilizations actually powered anything with batteries, so sure, electronics are out. (I suspect shocks and/or electroplating are just so impressive when you don't know what electricity is that whenever somebody stumbled upon a way to reliably produce either they tended to roll with it.)
One night at Greasy's makes a hard man humble.
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Not much between Moldy and real Greasy....