Hardware Store
Sonata let out a startled yelp as she clutched a long spool of clear rubber tubing and quickly sidestepped a red shopping cart almost overflowing with what looked to be everything from allen wrenches to matching salt and pepper shakers.
The person pushing the cart, a man with curly brown hair, an orange shirt, and yellow pants, offered a quick “Sorry! I’ve got to buy a pair of pliers for every room in my house!” as he sped down the aisle of the hardware store.
Sonata watched the man round a corner, shrugged, and walked down towards the other end of the aisle where Aria stood with a slightly mystified expression as she stared into another red shopping cart.
Aria looked up with a irritable expression as Sonata approached. “What the heck is all this stuff even for, Sonata?”
Sonata rolled her eyes as she placed the spool of rubber tubing into the shopping cart. “Geez, Aria! It’s like you don’t know anything!”
Aria’s expression went from grumpy to rage filled in record time as she glared at Sonata. “Sonata, we’re in a hardware store… there are many things in here I can use to hurt you.”
“It’s not my fault you’re too stupid to know what these are used for!”
Aria’s face began to turn red. “We should stop at the hammer section…”
“Alright! Keep your bra on!” Sonata said. “If you want to know so badly, I’ll just tell you.”
Aria sighed heavily. Can’t believe I have to ask Sonata what this stuff is for… Aria reached into the cart and pulled out a rectangular metal container marked ‘ACETONE’. “What’s this for?”
“I’m making my own finger polish remover! We all paint our nails so much, I figured we could save some money that way!”
Aria put the acetone back and the cart and pulled up a canister “… Alright, and the lye?”
Sonata rolled her eyes. “You can use it in making food and soap, d’uh!”
“… Huh… And the lighter fluid?”
“That’s for starting fires!”
“Right… what was I thinking…”
“Oh, that reminds me!” Sonata said. “I need to get matches, too.”
“So what’s the tubing for?”
Sonata looked at the long spool of tubing and smiled. “Well, if you think about it, a tube is basically a big straw.”
“… Okay, but what do you need so much of it for? Are you trying to make a straw long enough to go from the kitchen to the living room?”
Sonata smiled and nodded her head up and down. “This way I can just put one end of the tube in my chocolate milk and leave it in the fridge and then I can drink it without even having to use a cup or get up!”
Aria stared at Sonata with wide eyes. “… Wow, Sonata… That’s actually a really good idea. I think I’ll get one for myself.”
Sonata grinned as she began to push the cart back down the aisle she had just came from. “See! You call me an idiot and stupid all the time, but I’m actually really smart.
Aria rolled her eyes as the girls walked alongside Sonata. “Well, let’s not go crazy here. Still… I’m kind of surprised you have a different use for all this stuff… it sorta looks like… uh…”
“Looks like, what?”
“Like you’re up to no good… Like… I don’t know… trying to stock up on stuff to get rid of bodies, or something…”
Sonata chuckled darkly. “Well, it’s not like there’s not a few uses for all this stuff…”
The girls stop as they arrived in front of several spools of rubber tubing. Aria began to pull on one end and gather her own length.
“Should we get one for Adagio?” Sonata asked.
Aria shrugged. “Maybe just so she doesn’t get mad at us for not thinking about her. Though she might still complain we didn’t get enough to go all the way up to her room.”
“Yeah… It’s too bad she didn’t want to come in so we can figure all this out together,” Sonata said.
Aria sighed heavily. “Well, you know her… Now that we don’t have our gems, she’s obsessed with making money doing what she does best.”
“… You really think people are going to pay Adagio to yell and sleep?”
Aria chuckled to herself. “Well… maybe a certain kind of yelling and sleeping…”
Soon the girls had gotten another spool of tubing and had moved on to getting the matches.
“Hey… Isn’t that one of our teachers? The boring chemistry one?” Aria said as she spotted a man with black hair that was set oddly on top of his head as if it didn’t belong there. He wore a brown sweater over a white shirt and tie and red pants which hung somewhat loosely around his legs. He also carried a paint can in either hand.
Sonata looked up as she dropped several large boxes of matches in the cart. “Oh, yeah! Hey, Mr. Donkey!” she called out with a wave.
Mr. Donkey looked at the girl’s cart, then looked up to give the girls a rather serious look. “You’re buying the wrong matches.”
Aria and Sonata exchanged confused looks.
“What?” Sonata asked.
“Those matches, they’re the wrong kind,” Mr. Donkey exclaimed.
“Oooookaaaay…” Sonata said as she raised an eyebrow.
Mr. Donkey continued, “Red phosphorous is found in the striker strips, not the matches themselves. You need to get the big 200-count box of individual matchbooks.”
The girls simply stared at Mr. Donkey with confused looks on both their faces.
“More striker strips. You understand? Those only have the one.” Mr. Donkey shook his head. “And don't buy everything in one place. Do it piecemeal. Different items, different stores. Attracts less attention. Are you following me here?”
“… Riiiiiiight~…” Sonata cooed with a wink.
Mr. Donkey gave the girls a satisfied smile as he chuckled to himself and walked off.
“… What the heck was that about?” Aria asked.
Sonata shrugged. “Beats me!”
“What? But you said—”
“I just did that so he’d leave,” Sonata said. “He was being kinda scary for some reason…”
Aria chuckled. “Maybe he should go talk to Adagio, I bet she could get him to relax a bit.”
-ooo-
Adagio leaned against a tall lamp post as with crossed arms as she stared at the hardware store entrance, the light from above creating a sort of spotlight that made her stand out in the darkened parking lot. She squinted into the darkness and frowned as she noticed a man focus his attention on her, then walk up with a speed and posture that let her know she was probably in for a confrontation of some sort. Her frown turned into a smile as the man stepped into the light.
Oh… It’s just Mr. Donkey from school. He should be fun to mess with…
“Hello Mr. Donkey,” Adagio said as she lowered her eyelids and give Mr. Donkey a sultry look. She placed a hand on her hip and posed to show off her shapely body. “Looking for something to help you unwind?”
Mr. Donkey paused and gave Adagio a look as if he was sizing her up. “Stay out of my territory,” he said in a quiet, yet threatening tone.
Adagio’s eyes widened in surprise. She looked Mr. Donkey down from head to toe, then back up again. “No offence, but I don’t think you and I are going to be attracting the same clientele.”
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Adagio is now a Dominatrix? Headcanon supported!
Not so fast Aria. You'll be singing a different tune (see what I did there?) when you see the next month's electric bill from having your fridge open all the time.
Obligatory!
The second I saw "chemistry teacher" I knew where this was going. Nice Breaking Bad parody.
*Sees Breaking Bad reference*
i.imgur.com/SbRa3x0.png
Oh my gosh, the last part
Misunderstandings can be hilarious at times.
5562442 they did reference Cheese. It was very Blink-and-you-miss-it
These are freaking epic. XD
A Weird Al reference and a Breaking Bad reference. It must be Christmas!
The moment I saw the title, I sensed Weird Al in the force.
(That or grisly violence with a lot of sharp objects, which Aria alluded to anyway, but that would be a little jarring in tone for this series of silliness)
I'm not sure which is more hilarious: Adagio's side-hustle or Cranky's.
So Adagio is a prostitue.
Or did I miss something?
5562648
Good man.
5562648 I had never seen this before, not even the song... thanks for opening my eyes.
Awesome. Looks like Mr. Doodle will have to get back in the game if he wants to afford Adagio. I bet that girl gets all As.
5565405
Part me really wants to re-write the lyrics to make a song all about a guy going to the 'Hasbro Store' to buy pony merch... just think what that long list of items would be like if you were rattling off pony names,
gave.
LOL
So Mr. Donkey is a possible murderer and a sex worker? Good to know, I guess!!
5562442 Same!
I HAVE NO WORDS TO EXPRESS MY LOVE FOR THIS CHAPTER.
Is refreshing, for once, having a Dazzling story depicting Sonata as villainous as her sisters, rather than a innocent, bullied accomplice.
So much yes for this chapter.
And yes, the clientele might be a bit different (though I suppose there will be a little overlap).
Well, it would be a (word) crime if Cheese Sandwich didn't appear in this chapter
5562703 That's really more Weird Al, the guy who voiced Cheese. And while it's a very common fan theory, Cheese Sandwich =/= Equestria's Weird Al.
Join us next week on Breaking Bad: MLP Edition.
meth jokes are bad m'kay
That's, actually pretty genius.
Easy to forget that Sonata can be pretty creepy sometimes as well.
Was that a Breaking Bad reference?
... I want to watch that.
Nicely done XD
Who would have thought the Three Sisters were getting into the meth manufacturing business?
Nice to see a reference to "Hardware Store". That has to be on of my favorites of his more recent works.
These are all pretty accurate representations of what actually happens in our life
Needs end " marks.
______________
Man, even the chemistry teacher thinks they're buying stuff to get rid of corpses. BTW 8459333 Three thumbs up for that comment of yours.
8576178
No he thinks they're making meth it's a Breaking Bad reference. Straight out of the show.
9924406
Huh! We've never actually watched that before. Good to know, and thanks for clearing that up.
Mr Donkey, She works in a different chemistry department.