When Equestria arrives on earth out of the sea, the earth changes forever. A story about a family called the Winters and their experiences.
Chapters (4)
Skybreeze
Joined 21st Jan, 2012 ·
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That was interesting, although the bolts of magic you mention at the end should actually be a constant dose of magic radiation that kills only in days. That was fantastic in terms of writing.
But why is Luna tagged? 
Excellent beginning. And who's to say that in the beginning few weeks that the Equestrian Barrier didn't spurt out a few massive discharges before it settled down. I can roll with that. Tagged and bagged, awaiting more.
542578
Thank you very much for the compliment! You are correct about the magic that kills in days as well. I plan on keeping this as part of the story. I actually forgot to tag Celestia when I tagged just Luna when I resubmitted this. Oops.
542597
I am really glad to hear you say that, thank you very much. Your stories are very inspiring and enjoyable to read. I have more chapters written from last and this year. The next chapters however do require additional tweaks before I can post them.
Thumps ...up I like were this is going
Oh dear...
Raw, unstable magic. Nasty stuff in the best times. Around these parts? Ay chihuahua...
You've certainly got my interest. I look forward to more.
Very interesting look foreword to reading more. Still the question is how will humanity react to this? Still what is this conversion bereu that you speak of.
Really liking this so far, looking forward to the confrontation between Desert and Joshua.
Another good chapter
Spacing seems to be a bit weird in places, but not too distracting. Really feel bad for Joshua, looking forward to more 
So Celestia personally destroyed the plane?
Okay, okay, I'm guessing she was trying to help and failed miserably. OR DID SHE?
Also, was the attempted bombing what happened to the original ambassadors? Or is there worse to come?
1302439>>1302990
Fixed thank you! The center tags I noticed screwed up the spacing from goggledocs. Thank you for the comments!
Dis gettin goooooood
1374027
Thanks!
This is an interesting story, and I am enjoying it.
That said, you may want to do another editing pass. One way I edit my work is to read it out loud to one of my spouses. Reading your own story out loud catches all sorts of little grammatical - and other - errors. If a story reads well out loud, it will almost certainly read well in the mind.
The biggest trouble is mixed up sentences. Like this:
If you read it out loud, you can instantly see the problems - incorrect tenses, lack of commas, periods, capitalization, and so forth.
One way to fix it would be this:
Like I said, I am enjoying your story, but it would be much better with an editing pass over it, to catch the errors.
Whatever the case, please continue!
2938961
Thank you for your help, I will go over it again when I get home later today. I am very glad you are enjoying this story. You have given me the drive to continue.
2939803
It really is a very good story. I was afraid to say anything, because the last thing I wanted to do was to harm your enthusiasm. I want your enthusiasm to take you all the way to the end, because I want to see what happens next!
I hope I was gentle enough and kind. Writing is hard, and editing is booooorrrrrinnng. Reading to someone else makes it less so, though. Actually, Elde and I have come to treasure me reading my chapter to her to edit it before publishing. It's become a fun thing we do, that she looks forward to.
In any case, please... MOAR!
2941908
You were certainly gentle and kind. These suggestions are a very big help, thank you. I am going through it again to see what I can find.