• Member Since 3rd Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen May 16th, 2017

Da Bunnana King


ITT: Cancer

T
Source

Being forcefully ponified is a bitch, especially when you're a high ranking officer in the Human Liberation Force. Well it doesn't mean you can't go on a quest of vengance to kill the stallion that ponified you... That is if I can bring myself to hurt him.

A Conversion Bureau type of story
m X m shipping

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 23 )

"Must of been the wind,"

I see people replacing "have" with "of" a lot, and I'm sure it has to do with how it sounds phonetically. "Should of," "would of," etc. However, when you find yourself typing that, the word you actually want is always "have."

Consider the contraction "must've." What two words are being contracted there?

Alternatively, you can keep in mind that "have been" is a compound verb, two verbs working together to both provide the action and the tense in the sentence. "Have," in this case, is the auxiliary verb. "Of" is a preposition, and cannot fill that role.

Being forcefully ponified is a bitch, especially when your a high ranking officer in the Human Liberation Force. Well it doesn't mean you can't go on a quest of vengance to kill the stallion that ponified you... That is if I can bring myself to hurt him.

- *You're

The grey unicorn had a light grey coat that nearly matches his light black mane.

- *matched

I'd recommend having a longer conversation with Greg to show characterization of your protagonist. Would help the pacing too.
As it stands, I'm thinking Fifty Shades of Meh. Not going to downvote, but I won't be coming back to this story until it's complete.

*blinks*
hoo boy, here we go *buckles the extra seatbelts, then the extras of those.*

Comment posted by Tharen deleted Jan 20th, 2013

1990927
Heh thanks, sometimes at night I miss words when I go through it with my editor. As for the rating, well thanks I guess. I mean lots of people seem to judge a book by its cover's but I don't think I'll have it finished by the end of my vacation though... but I'll try.

1990708
Thanks, I sometimes type words that aren't there or type words that really should be others when I have the story playing out in my head.

1990930
Fasten you're seats belts kiddies.

not gay enough

add more braeburn

Oh great. Combining my two favorite things into a fic. Yippee!
/sarcasm

Might need to add the crossover tag ya beetus.

Human Liberation Force

A Conversion Bureau type of story

Well, you know, whatever you say. If it was just a TYPE of conversion bureau story it might be considered a crossover of the universe, even though the original is not a crossover, then you probably would not want to use the same name for an organization with similar goals to that of the original fic.

It would be like me making a story about wizards and magic and shit while having the bad guys being called death-eaters and mentioning it's "like" harry potter. It would hold a few similarities and make some people question it.

very good :moustache: i feel need for some tea and biscuits

2015885
Or could it be my universe where there not a front but a force.

Why is he so negative about his conversion, whatever happened to the conversion euphoria? Also, Shouldn't he have gone through his conversion dream?

2016506
Okay, this was a problem in one of my otherfics called Green Tea. But since I'm lazy here is the tl;dr version

Forced ponifcation ≠ happy pony
Force ponification = mixed results

That and usually forcing ponification on someone in the HLF who despises ponies usually makes them quite angry afterward and it makes a whole lot more sense him waking up angry and butt hurt then him waking up going, "Oh gee whilliker guys, being a pony is really fun and I am happy being turned into one against my will."

2016541

That didn't seem to be the case in some of Chatoyance's fanfics.

2016849 How did I know you were going to say that? :unsuresweetie:

Comment posted by Jaysteeny deleted Jan 26th, 2013
Comment posted by Mr Pones deleted Jan 26th, 2013

I want to see where this is going, grammar issues regardless.

2422516
ermahgerd da grama dont suk, u dont no about da spellin n da grama.

Just kidding. Hopefully I'll be getting some work on it done soon but I'm busy with school and life so, yeah. :/

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